Disclaimer: I do not own either Dragon Ball Super or Harry Potter I just write fanfiction.
Author's Notes at the end of the chapter.
Chapter
Two
Present
The group stood crowded in front of a rather normal-looking building that was located on a secluded plot of land outside of the West City perimeter. It was a plain thing, not much decor, barely any colour compared to all the other buildings and houses in the city.
Beerus shoved Elder Kai forward with a glare nodding to the door impatiently and tapping his foot on the ground while the others watched in anticipation as the old Supreme Kai dragged his feet to the door hesitating before he pressed the bell.
Elder Kai was sweating bullets as the seconds ticked by then, to his relief and slight horror, the door opened revealing an intimidating tall woman with black hair, tight jeans and an aviator jacket. Her skin seemed to be blemish-free and smooth, if one didn't count the strange scar streaking across her face, it was something none of them could miss.
They all noticed the piece of jewellery that hung about her neck as it glinted in the evening sun. It was a silver chain necklace with a triangular pendant that had a circle in it and a line bisected through the middle.
She was sipping a cup of, what looked to be, tea and leaning on the door frame casually as she eyed Elder Kai with disdain. Quite obviously remembering him and the look in her eyes did nothing to hide that fact.
"My my," she hummed with a dry tone, "what have we here?"
"A rude Kai, a Destroyer God, his Supreme Kai, a few mortals and oh? What's this? An angel sent from the great beyond." The woman observed with an equally dry stare matching her tone and paired with a lazy smile. "Sounds to me like the setup of a bad joke."
An awkward silence followed up her lazy-humoured comment. No one attempted to speak most out of fear and Whis just because he found the whole situation amusing and Goku because both Beerus and Gohan didn't trust him not to accidentally piss off a Death deity and covered his mouth.
The silence seemed to irritate the woman as her brow developed a twitch and she rolled her eyes skyward.
"I'm sorry, did you need something? Because I'm terribly busy and I loathe having my time wasted by inconsiderate morons and their unlucky friends." She said bluntly, the teacup had disappeared some time ago. "Either you introduce yourselves as common courtesy dictates and ask what you will or leave."
Goku had somehow broken from Lord Beerus and Gohan's silencing hold and was all up in the woman's face.
"I am called Goku your Deathness at your serving!" The Saiyan introduced himself with an awkward stiff bow and his goofy grin, causing those in his company to face fault and their legs twitching in the air.
Whis was left standing and used his hand in an awful attempt to mask his amusement.
'Alright, once is an accident, twice a coincidence, but three times is a pattern. This moron is doing this on purpose! Is he trying to get us all killed?' Beerus thought after getting back on his feet to smack the Saiyan upside his head.
'Well that's Dad for you I guess.' Gohan thought with a sweatdrop as he helped Mr Satan back on his feet.
Majin Buu was confused.
Shin meanwhile was stopping Elder Kai's attempt to escape from having to apologise to the woman who was currently starting down their Universes dumbest champion.
( . . . )
( . . . )
"Heeheehee!" (1)
The sudden burst of noise shocked the Mistress of Death's visitors out of their stupor, their eyes bugging out of their heads when they realised the noise came from their host.
' What —' Mr Satan.
'– The —' Elder Kai.
'– Fuck!' and Beerus unknowingly thought in tandem with each other.
"Heeheehee! Oh, I like this one!" The woman continued to laugh before straightening up and wiping away a mirthful tear. Her expression settled into a face-splitting smile that turned strained when she remembered whom this man had arrived with.
"Aside from Goku and the ever polite Supreme Kaioshin Shin, who're you lot to barge onto my property unannounced and uninvited and why are you here?" She asked bluntly with an expression that said clearly: this-better-be-good-or-so-help-me-someone-will-be-dying-today.
Shin bowed politely about to step forward and explain only to be halted when the woman held up her hand motioning for him to stop.
"Not you Supreme Kai. I want to hear it from him specifically." She said cutting off any further arguments with a sharp glare as she pointed at the older Kai that was still attempting to escape.
Only this time he was stopped by Beerus who dug his claw-like nails into the other deity's shoulders and forcefully turned him to face the Mistress of Death and pushed him into a bow. "Say something fool!" The GOD hissed into Elder Kai's ear and bowed next to him, the others who had yet to introduce themselves(not including Whis) followed their example, though Buu had to be guided down by Mr Satan.
The GOD went first followed by Gohan then Mr Satan and last Buu introduced himself.
The now sweaty Kai started visibly shaking in his boots when he was last to do so and felt the weight of the woman's stare on him.
The Mistress of Death quirked an eyebrow in thought; though thoroughly annoyed at having her afternoon with her family interrupted, she was also successfully amused by the Saiyan man's odd introduction and so she found herself at a crossroads of sorts.
On one hand, she wanted to know what was so important that deities would seek her out, (not that they were the first to do so today but they were the first to ask in person) but on the other, they brought the rude old slug with them.
Her curiosity piqued and won out.
"I know that it can't be you've decided to apologise. No, you didn't seem the type and you would have done so already if that was your intention." She said with a sneer looking down her nose at Elder Kai. "I know you aren't here for that, and you wouldn't be the first deities to bother me today. So… I'll ask again; What. Do. You. Want?"
Her green eyes flicked from Elder Kai to Beerus then let them rest on Whis, who stood beside the GOD when no one offered to speak. Taking that as his cue Whis hummed and smiled serenely at the woman.
"If that is true and I don't doubt that it is, I think you already know." He said simply, further confusing the others who had not caught what she had said seconds before.
"Humour me. I want to know his side of this no doubt entertaining story." She said darting her eyes from Goku and back to Whis which only the angel in question and Beerus caught. The GOD blanched while the angel continued to smile.
"Very well, shall we discuss this over tea? I am rather peckish and it is quite the tale. Much too long to be spoken out in the open where anyone could overhear." He said gesturing vaguely to the treeline in the distance and the sky.
"That can be arranged I suppose. We were about to have dinner anyway." The woman hesitated briefly before turning into the capsule house. "Follow me then," smiling slightly as she invited them in.
Beerus, Whis and Shin walked in after her following close behind separating from the others as they looked around in differing levels of awe.
The house was vastly bigger than it appeared on the outside. It looked like the Entrance Hall of a medieval Castle; it was so enormous, it could have fit the whole capsule house in it and then some.
The group followed the feminine Deity across the flagstone floor. They could hear the drone of a hundred voices(2) from a doorway to the right – her aforementioned family must already be here – but the group were shown into a small empty chamber off the hall. The mortals (not including Goku who was in step with the deities) of the group crowded in, standing rather closer together than they would usually have done, peering about nervously. Even for Hercule, the house's interior was rather intimidating.
The stone walls were lit with flaming torches, the ceiling was almost too high to make out, and a magnificent marble staircase facing them led to the upper floors.
"Welcome to Hogwarts," said the woman. "My first and forever home." She sounded rather melancholy when she said it as if reminiscing about something from the distant past. 'A poor imitation of what I lost.'
"Thanks to you all, a welcoming banquet will need to be prepared on top of the annual Family Get together Banquet which is to be held in the Great Hall.
"I suggest to you all, wait here as quietly as you can while I organise for more food to be prepared to accommodate you lot too. I'll send someone to collect you, if I don't myself, when all is finished."
The mortals were so busy gaping at all of the impressive decorations and other things they spotted upon their entrance that they didn't notice the small elf-like creature dressed like a Butler; its skin appeared a few times too big for it and though it was bald, there was a quantity of white hair growing out of its large batlike ears, its eyes were a watery grey and its nose was fleshy and snoutlike. Until it appeared in front of them and cleared its throat.
"Ahem!"
They jumped at the squeaky voice before smiling sheepishly at the creature.
"The Kind Mistress nots be allowings such filthy attire in the Halls of Hogwarts, Kreature must be telling yous to bes removing yous's grubby shoes and coats at once..."
"Actually, Kreach I'll make an exception for today, just give them something else to wear or improvise, and use your magic to clean their garb. I don't want any of the children getting sick." The voice of the still-unnamed woman could be heard from the top of the marble stairs that a few of them somehow hadn't noticed nor expected to see in the deceivingly small from the outside capsule home.
Elder Kai froze at the mention of children and shared a look with Shin who was smirking at him with an eyebrow raised in challenge, the older Creation Deity averted his eyes to the floor as he was dragged between Gohan and Beerus.
"It will be as the Kind Mistress asks." He said then the thing, 'Kreach' bowed low in respect and clicked his fingers. This resulted in Mr Satan and Elder Kai jumping in fright at the sound, and all of their shoes disappeared along with the grime that clung to their clothes; the ruined materials were replaced with flawless exact replicas of their previous outfits.
Well, those who aren't Whis, Beerus, Elder Kai and Shin who didn't get a speck on them aside from their footwear.
Then Kreature disappeared with a purposely loud CRACK! returning to the kitchen to aid his fellow house-elves with dinner preparations.
Mr Satan was the first to break the silence with the question that was on all of the mortal's minds present.
"So uh did anyone catch the lady's name?"
"Nope," Goku said with a grin as he leaned on the wall and propped his head upon his hand.
"I think I'd remember if she mentioned it," Gohan said after a moment.
"Say Lord Beerus how strong is this Mistress of Death lady anyway?" Goku questioned the GOD who was seated across the room from the saiyan, at the foot of a large granite knight statue, his feet and back hanging on either side of the makeshift armrests of the statue's armoured feet staring at the stone ceiling. "Come on Lord Beerus!" He whined when the purple bipedal cat didn't answer him.
The only sign that gave away that he had heard the Saiyan was the slight twitch of his ears. The Deity sighed and tilted his head to face the mortal that continued to make his immortal life just a bit more exciting than it usually was, by continuously endangering it and his job. His expression revealed his annoyance.
"Don't you know how to quiet down saiyan? I'm trying to nap while I can still enjoy it!" He said before closing his eyes and sitting in an even more uncomfortable-looking position than before.
"You know Goku," Whis started. "You could always ask her when she gets back." The angel stands near Beerus' "chair".
While his Dad was busy pestering Beerus and Whis for answers Gohan, was questioning both Supreme Kai and Elder Supreme Kai on where they knew the woman from and what the Elder of the two did. Elder Kai stood in between Beerus' spot and Shin across from Gohan but refused to answer and avoided looking at Shin who had no such restraint.
"You see Gohan, we met her not long after Majin Buu was defeated." The Supreme Kaioshin began attracting the attention of all present; including an unannounced observer who appeared to be looking for something in the kitchen fridge nearest to the chamber the door having appeared magically out of nowhere, their interest was piqued and so they stayed for a moment to listen to whatever the Kaioshin had to say about the other who'd offended the MOD.
"I was still fused with Kibito," he explained the rough time the MOD had visited them "She had appeared in the Sacred World of the Kai with a loud crack, her skin was glowing and she looked honestly healthy, Elder Kai didn't seem to think so and never knows when to keep his mouth shut. In short, he didn't realise who she was and insulted her physique and made her cry. She was very emotional as most women around that time were; as far along as she was…"
Goku tilted his head in confusion "What are you talking about?"
"... Kids, emotional, glowing skin? As far along…" Gohan listed off with a furrowed brow before paling in realisation, along with Mr Satan who was following his train of thought they slowly turned paternal glares on the older Kaioshin. The mystery person had left when they too figured it out, not having been privy to this information before and now knowing exactly why.
"Tell me you didn't say what I think you did to her face." The half-saiyan said with clenched teeth.
"Y-you didn't actually call her that, did you?" Mr Satan said more fearfully, eyes darting around much like the Kai before him.
"Her job as the Mistress of Death was to gather Bicentennial(3) Evaluations of the Universal Mortal Levels and report back to the Grand Minister. Before she invented a system that no longer required her to be present due to Supreme Kai the Elder insulting her when she was emotionally vulnerable and right before she was due, to birth her then-infant children." Whis added helpfully.
He had gathered information when he was searching for the MOD's current residence.
"Why wasn't I told about this Whis?" Beerus said suddenly, very awake and annoyed as ever.
"I believe you were taking a cat nap, My Lord." The attendant sassed the grumpy cat.
They all stopped chattering when their eyes collectively landed on the woman in question who stood in the doorway to the kitchen, in the same spot the mystery person had held before her appearance, holding a child on her hip and the small hand of another in her free hand.
"That he did. I was there to do my job. He was there to make my day even less pleasant than need be." She said with a strained smile.
"Now that we're all here, I can introduce myself properly. Then we can head into the Great Hall. My extended family are eager to meet you all." She said before hoisting the pair of adorable lizard-like children, who looked weirdly familiar, onto her hip on either side.
She turned with a grin and held out her hand to Beerus appearing in the air in front of him upside down.
"I'm Harley Ren Potter—"
"You mean you're underselling yourself again Love ~ " A deep voice called out in a drawl from the kitchen, the fridge light now illuminating previously hidden sharp features, glowing red eyes with light refracting from a dark blue gem taking up most of his cranium.
(Edited: 14/06/2022)
A/N:
(1) is a reference to One Piece Kureha the "witch" of Drumm island's laugh.
(2) The Immortal Procreation Clause
'The drone of a hundred voices'; The fertility of a species is inversely proportional to its lifespan. Thus, as a species approaches immortality, its birth rate approaches zero. As Harley is still technically human, and not some kind of supernatural creature hybrid(not really anyway), despite being immortal she is still able to reproduce.
On its surface, being immortal seems like a pretty sweet gig. You have a lot of time on your hands and usually, you never have to suffer the effects of injury or old age.
Now, the wise group of sages known as Queen once asked us, "Who Wants to Live Forever?" and here's one reason why: in many works of fiction featuring immortality, not only do they outlive their mortal lovers, but the immortals in question also are sterile or infertile: they cannot have children, since children are considered the "normal" way for mortal humans to ensure their legacy.
Sometimes the immortal beings in question are perfectly able to have children but are not allowed to, by the laws of their society, because allowing immortals to breed will quickly lead to overpopulation.
Harley has a large family because when she was Harry that's all he wanted was a family, in this Harry lost that and everything else that made things worthwhile. He grieved and raged and the normal other stages of grief, for a long time; then moved on and met someone who held his fancy and reminded him of what he lost for a night before leaning into his Death God training.
He became she then he and she again over millennia spent alone doing their job and training their family grew in the place Harry was first left to train; in the universe four, which Death favoured for some odd reason. Harry and the many faces and names he was reincarnated with instantaneously after dying every 500 years.
(3) Bicentennial; bicentennial - of or relating to or completing a period of 200 years; "bicentennial celebration" bicentenary.