Arctic Desert

Then dear Mother packed the snow,

Tight against our bruised prides,

Around our inflamed hearts,

Like a blanket to numb the pain,

And our fingers too.

Usopp was close to pulling his hair out. He'd made a new account on Reddit, asking questions to the femboy group. He really didn't know much about Perona when he got right down to it. He wasn't sure, she liked to be referred to as a she/her, but she had also mentioned that she had no intention of getting surgery. Said that she rather enjoyed her 'knight'. Its not that he had a problem, aside from his confusion on the matter. The last few dates had proved that he was rather… invigorated by the trick. But-

'You've got a fetish, my suggestion, enjoy your new porn genre, but if you go after someone like that, your relationship won't last.'

Well that certainly wasn't a very encouraging comment to his post. Still, Usopp could agree that this was a fetish. But he wanted it to be more. It seemed like every date ended with him in her bed. Normally he would be flaunting his luck, or rather skill… luck. Normally he would, but was sex his goal? Was sex what made him able to just turn off twenty-seven years of hetrosexuailty? And without it would he suddenly snap out of the Perona daze he found himself in even now? Sitting at his computer at three in the morning with his first appointment at the shop at nine? If he did snap out of this daze, would he suddenly be repulsed by her?

No, of course he wouldn't, He'd met Luffy, listened to one to many stories of his to be repulsed by anything involving dick. So if equipment didnt matter, in his bed or in gender, and she was a girl, then wasn't he straight? Like biologically gay, but striaght in a relationship sense? And what the hell was a gay relationship compared to a straight one? What were the differences really?

His head hit his desk and he was pulling his hair again.

'Perhaps it's not a fetish like the person above says, do you feel an attraction to anyone else in the community, or just this one special 'person' you refer to?'

He reread the post, not bothering to lift his tired head from the desk. Did he find others attractive? Good enough starting place. He started to scroll the forum. The people were beautiful, sure, and he had waited for Perona to finish getting ready often enough that he could appreciate the sheer effort some of the posters put in for just their photo. He thought it was kinda foolish at first, reading that they didn't have the confidence to go out in an outfit, when they passed so well. But he just had to think back to those thugs that had been after Perona. She passed every day it seemed. Not easy work.

He shook his head, looking back at the pictures. There was a thrill he couldn't deny, knowing that these people had knights under their skirts. As for attraction? Sure, this one in the pink skirt was cute, kinda short, which was a bit hard to tell. But they fit his usual, or old type.

He opened another tab, and went to his usual fap site. Seeking out some old favorites and watched.

Nothing. Not even a twinge, until one position reminded him of the other night with Perona, after their slasher film date when she'd… well now he had another problem aside from insomnia…

His fap-favs hadnt done it, the pictures of the femboys had been better but still hadn't done much. But one memory with Perona and now he had this… what the hell did that mean? He hadnt totally fetishied her had he? Could you fetishize something so far that it was narrowed to one person? Wouldn't that be the creepiest shit in the world? Wouldn't that be so wrong and disgusting?

He didnt know… he wasn't a member of the queer community. He was just an ally, or was trying to be, at least. He wasn't sure how the scales would balance if he was fetishing Perona, when his main claim to allyship was painting over some hate with a bit of love, and running off some thugs. He fell asleep there, hands resting on the keyboard, debating the words to the reply he never sent.

…

"No Sir. Yes sir. Yes sir." Gin was in the corner, his voice low while on his phone. Marco was sitting next to him, rubbing his shoulder supportively. Robin tried not to eavesdrop as she got her coffee. She had considered leaving and returning, since another pot was in need of brewing, and the look on her editor's face was a dead give away for shame. She caught Marco's eyes and he'd nodded at her with a kind smile. She'd returned it, and did her best not to intrude while she took the time to make a new pot.

"I am at work right now, yes sir. Yes Marco is here, would you like to talk to him?" She heard the phone shuffle, and the deeper voice of Marco.

"Hello Officer." Robin raised a brow, and began pouring her cup. "Yes. actually i think we are fitting in rather well. No we havent, not besides the man who hired us… I agree we should, but its important for us to feel comfortable to, right?" Robin cast a glance back at the table once more. Gin caught her eyes and flicked his to the creamer on the table, next to the sugar. He practically was folding in on himself in embarrassment, while Marco still rubbed his shoulder supportively. She grabbed two more mugs, and poured the coffee. She'd found a kindred soul with Marco's love of black coffee, the sugar was on the table for Gin already.

Marco stared at her as she brought over the coffee, continuing his conversation without looking away. She ignored it while she gave Gin his coffee, sliding it under his eyes before she finally caught his attention. He jolted as if she was a lioness on the hunt, before regaining his composure. She gave a smile.

"I saw Nami approved the submission you wanted. You've done well getting an author so fast. Make sure you set a meeting with them before you leave."

"I'm approved? Oh gods!" Gin's eyes went wide, and his smile climbed high. Robin smirked.

"Well, you have to buy it for only thirty-five hundred. We aren't rich. But if you can do that, then yes. You'll be on the timetable."

"Fuck yeah." he muttered, then looked to regret his words. "Sorry." Robin laughed lightly, and left. Feeling Marco's eyes on her.

Brook… Robin admitted that from all her department's submissions, she'd found Sanji's the most intriguing. Once a musician, now a movie star. Went through a adolescence of sexual identity struggle, living through the Aids era of hate and discrimination. What's worse, she had pieced this together, much like Sanji had, digging through newspaper records, trudging the fact from hate and drama. And there was a death. Someone only referred to as Yorkie. Lover rumors, but the fact was that this Yorkie was the first to give Brook a record deal, when doing so could have destroyed his business. Beyond that there is no mention of him. And to top it off, It'd all happened here in loguetown.

Brook lived out of the city now. Always close to the cameras, as is natural of a rising star. But she wanted this project. She would need a masterful pitch, the best of her career, to even be considered for some of Brook's time. And she wouldn't have the budget to compete with zero's against the movies.

Somebody knocked and she'd realized she'd just been staring at the little toy car on her desk.

"Come in." the door opened,

"Hey Chief, can i have a minute?" Marco.

"Of course."

He closed the door, and stood in between the chairs. "About the phone call-"

"Please, you don't need to explain yourself to me." She started.

"-i'd like to thank you. Gin, he needed that boost today, and i think it helped that you did it when you did… and I know you're sharp. Sooner or later you'll put it together, so i'll save you some time. The short and simple is we're on parole. Work release program-"

"Really Marco." Robin said, "Please feel no need to explain yourself to me. I have no intention of making you or Gin prove anything. I need no explanation. Everybody here has a story they'd rather not share. And just as you would not go digging into their past, they will not dig into yours."

"I… should feel more skeptical of that. We've suffered missteps in previous employment. Neither of us ever thought we'd actually get to use these degrees. More than ever I don't want to ruin our opportunity here by hiding anything."

"I see you intend to answer any question that comes."

He nodded.

"You are a very steady individual. If you are also a good editor, then all other things aside you will have a career here. And the only favour we at Sunny ask, is that you drive your hardest to help us turn a profit next year. And Gin, despite his nervousness, is ahead of you on that count."

Marco smiled. "He is, isn't he… i think i'll go play catch up. Thanks chief."

"He is lucky to have a friend like you."

"I'm luckier to have him." Marco was looking over his shoulder. "Something to be steady for, a goal of any kind, is a magnificent stabilizer." the door closed. She looked back to the toy car. She still had the phoenix. A part of her didn't want to give it away. They'd had their first ride together in that car. Their pleasant little pause. But already she was missing him. And this was only the first week of the drought. The one that came every time she got a finished car back.

And really, the bright flashy colors weren't her style. Purples or black. So it'd make sense she'd trade it out faster.

But would that be rejecting his advance in a way? Thanks for the memory, I already ditched the car?

However keeping the car was more of a rejection wasn't it? Only seeing him when it needed a tune up or a part changed… maybe it did have something wrong that she could- she shook her head. Trying physically to disrupt her train of thoughts.

She wanted to see him. She could admit that to herself. The problem was she had no excuse to do so. She wouldn't for a month. That was the soonest she could see herself giving away the car. It'd be the new year by then.

She took a deep breath. Being driven around the storm's eye was actually a wonderful memory to end the year on. If she could just remind herself of that enough, then maybe, just maybe, this drought could be survived with dignity. Although, there was nothing against owning more than one car, was there? No… she could kiss dignity goodbye if she did that.

She faced her work again. Being buried in work sounded wonderful right then. She did have a magnum-opus pitch to plan after all.

"So what's the plan after this one?" Sanji asked, leaning on the hood of his car.

"What do you mean?" Robin turned around, leaning against her car to meet his eyes.

"With your mechanic, after you break down and trade the car out for another project, just back to usual?"

"Its unlike you to pry."

"Its unlike you to deflect, so blatantly at least." Sanji had a smirk on, and leaned on his windshield.

"Certainly an interesting day indeed. What prompted such a question?"

"That whole saying, better to love and lose than never love." he waved a hand for emphasis, the smoke from his cigarette wafting in curls in the air.

"You know i don't like betting."

"That paint job wasn't cheap. And I know you didn't request it. Which means he did it for free. Plain as day that makes two things certain beyond chance. One, that he has no idea what your style is."

"And two?" she said when he didn't continue.

"I can't tell you that. Gods know Franky is shouting it loud enough for the whole city to hear though." He hopped off his hood, crushing the cigarette under his foot. He gave another long and appreciative view at her car, before disappearing into his own. "Good night Robin."

"Good night Sanji." she said on instinct, and finished unlocking her car. He left first. Giving her time to sit, looking at the passenger seat. It was easy to see how Sanji thought. And She had told him about the drive. It'd be plain to anyone by now.

There was a reason she called them firsts… she knew what was happening. Enjoying it even. But she wasn't convinced it'd been anymore different than the rest of her attempts at dating.

It was common, natural for the stream of firsts to ramp up to a point where clothes were no longer necessary. And that is where the firsts would end. She had watched the attraction die out in men's eyes the second they had seen her. She wasn't eager at all to see what kind of man Franky would be.

Would he be the polite kind, shocked with offers to talk and ghost her afterwards?

The silent steed, who would try and finish the job before finding it too much to handle, leaving mid session never to be heard from again?

The asshole, who bails instantly, harsh words said with a fool's cadence?

She wanted to find out that answer as late as possible.

…

"Hey sis, you got a minute?" Zoro asked, knocking on her door lightly

"Hardly, get in here." she ordered.

He listened, finding her in an old outfit, one of her favorites if he recalled right.

"How am i supposed to even leave the house, when nothing fits! Everything just slides off me now." that's right… Sanji was taking her out today. The party was coming up soon.

"Just ask Sanji for a hoodie. He'd jump at the chance, and the whole boyfriend hoodie thing is on the up trend." She looked shocked. "What?" He asked, unhappy with the way just just maintained her face and stared at him

"I just… i mean it's a good idea. I just didn't expect you to suggest it."

"He's my ex, not the devil. And your friend, my coworker even. We are gonna talk about him at some point. It's not that weird."

"Huh…" She said, grabbing for her phone, no doubt texting Sanji.

"Huh, what?" he asked, crossing his arms.

You're a lot like snow really."

"What does that even mean?"

"Nothing, what do you want?"

"Right…" he muttered, then shrugged. He had a long uphill fight, he might as well get started. "I need you to keep an open mind about this."

"Okay…" she set her phone down. Ignoring its vibrations as no doubt Sanji was replying. "I'm listening."

"It's about Saga."

"Zoro…" she tilted her head, looking at him with tired concern.

"Just listen. Please." he met her eyes, and she took a long, disappointed breath.

"Okay."

And she did, with a stillness fitting statues. Unmoved as he explained the apology. Answering unasked questions in an attempt to make it make sense to her, what he was feeling. He finished with the breakfast. And still she looked sorry for him. So he didn't bother to tell her he walked Saga to his taxi. He just stopped. Her passiveness was too much for him. She looked like she was bored of the story. Sorry for Zoro. that's what it was. Pity. His sister was giving him pity. He felt the rage boil, but in place of an explosion, he had tears.

"What? What is it? What am i too stupid to see?" he shouted. She didnt even flinch. She just wiped her own tears.

"I hate him so much Zoro… I hate him in a way that it infuriates me that you won't or can't see it. That you can't see past him. Damn it… do i have to spell it out for you?"

"Please!" Zoro growled, running a hand through his hair.

"He fucked you up from the start, and built his nest in your heart with apologies. That's him, that's what you get! Scars and sorries, is that your love story Zoro?"

He let out a whine, and slumped to his knees. She was winded from her fury, not meeting his eyes. He was expecting a talk. But he'd let himself get heated. A part of him wanted to insist Saga meant it. But he'd never doubt Kuina. Add on the rage of confusion and he felt like puking.

"I don't like it." he turned his head away.

"Neither do I." She faced her vanity, and he caught her rubbing her bald head in the mirror. "But broken hearts and broken bodies draw it the same, like it's our magnetic opposite. But it exists. So we must learn our way through. Or risk losing ourselves."

Zoro laughed. "You sound like dad."

"That's because i listened to him. You didn't hear him the first time."

"Dad never took me aside and taught me how to deal with heartbreak." he huffed.

"He planted seeds. Things he wanted you to meditate on, so they'd grow into trees, with many branches."

"That's why you are the writer." He laid back, absentmindedly watching her get back to Sanji. "Flowery imagination…"

"I know its lonely right now. And I know you are feeling like the world is fucked up, or that you've fucked up. I think we are both in places where our lives are about to be decided by our next few moves. Can we do this? Will it ever be normal again? Will we find our happiness and peace? But I can promise you one thing Zoro. No matter how desperate i get, i'm never running back to my cancer."

Zoro gave a laugh, that came out like a sob. And he took a shuddering breath.

"What do you think normal people do?" his voice cracked and he didn't care.

"Get a rebound maybe, i haven't been a normal person in a while." she said. Then her phone rang, announcing the arrival of the sweet blonde guy that was treating her out. "That's just the advice Law gave me about the first book. So take it with some salt."

She rose from her bed, and carefully stepped over him.

"If your going to nap in my room, you can use the bed."

He waved her off.

"Carpet's comfy."

She laughed and left. He listened to her lock the deadbolt, and heard her faint footsteps disappear. He was half asleep already. Exhausted by his emotions already. He really had no endurance with them. Perhaps there was some way to train that… Ace would know. But Zoro didn't want to see Ace and the boys. He didn't want to do anything just yet. He wanted to sleep.

It had been almost two months since he and Sanji had ended things for good. Two weeks ago he had been handling Saga, three days ago his sister had giving him a reality check, and now-

"Roronoa Zoro." He looked up, meeting Doctor Law's eyes. "We are ready for you now."

He rose, his t-shirt tight on his chest, its v-neckline diving deep enough to show off his collar bones, and just a hint of his toned chest. His favorite jeans, just tight enough on the back to catch the eye. Law made no move to hide his staring. Not even when Zoro passed right by him. Law's eyes combed over every inch of him. Zoro felt a little win in his heart. That was hunger in the doctor's eyes.

There was just a bit of hesitation. What good would a rebound really do? And what if Law found this all to be-

The door shut, and locked. Zoro's heart raced a little. Law had a small, teasing little smirk.

"I didn't expect you to remember that I did clinic hours on fridays."

"I remember you fill them out at the end of your shift." Zoro leaned on the bed, arms resting behind him, because like hell was he going to just surrender to that hunger. Law leaned against the door, crossing his arms, his smirk growing.

"Then you'll also remember me saying i don't have any intention of crossing that kind of line."

Zoro pushed himself onto the table, spreading his legs, and leaning back, letting his shirt ride up, exposing his abs. He threw his arms behind his head.

"Then don't… i'm just here for a check up, to make sure my body is healthy. That i'm satisfying all its needs."

"I see…" Law pushed off from the door, moving to the bedside. His fingers moved under Zoro's shirt, and he hissed at the cool touch. He moved the shirt up over his chest, and fingers traced ran over his chest, then they found their way far enough south that Zoro involuntarily moaned, jerking at the touch. Zoro watched Law bite his lip. "You're starved."

"Yeah?" Zoro said, his hands below him as he pushed up towards Law. "Can you help me?"

Law growled, and grabbed him by the belt, pushing him flat again,his fingers going under his pants and briefs. Zoro bucked his hips, moaning again. Law's free hand moved to cover Zoro's mouth. "Don't expect any relief here." his voice was teasing. He was close, he had undone Zoro's belt, the zipper going down was the only noise aside from his own panting.

He didn't like the look in Law's eyes, the evil smirk and the way he palmed Zoro's member was already too much. Zoro felt a thrill rising in his spine and he couldn't help himself from reaching out, grabbing the doctor by his coat's lapels, and bringing him for a needy kiss. Law pushed him down again, and he moved in, biting Zoro's ear.

"I'm off in twenty five minutes… think you can survive that torture?"

"Do you live far?" Zoro muttered, squirming, more pleased by Law's weight on him than worried.

"Not terribly."

Zoro couldn't respond anymore. He moaned, bit his lip and looked away.

"I didn't take you as somebody who'd mark so much." Zoro spat, running his hands along his chest. Law was laying nude, smoking a clove.

"I didnt take you for such a desperate little sub. But that's the world." Law drew deep, the cherry on his smoke glowing in the moonlight room. And as bad as it was Zoro found that he'd missed the smell of smoke.

His fingers found a particularly bad mark, tender to the touch on his right leg, nestled high on his inner thigh. He was still sweaty, and the cracked window wasn't letting in the cold air fast enough.

"Not that i particularly care, but what do you plan on telling your sister about this?"

"I wasn't planning on telling her anything."

"Just a rebound from Sanji then?" Law asked, with a laugh in his voice.

"What?" Zoro growled.

"Don't give me attitude." Law said calmly, drawing on his smoke again, and exhaling away from Zoro. "You're not the one who was sought out for a simple hook up." Zoro scoffed.

"I didn't hear any complaining."

"It was enjoyable, even if I was just a stand in." Law snaked his hand into Zoro's hair, rubbing it gently, while his other ashed out his smoke. "Would you consider staying the night?"

"Why?" Zoro asked, then winced. Law's hand stopped its petting and he huffed, withdrawing it.

"Forget it then."

"Wait." Zoro rose, pinning Law with a hand on his shoulder before he could turn away. "I just mean, you said it yourself, about the rebound, so why would you want me to stay?"

Law's face softened, and his hand came back to Zoro's hair.

"It's been awhile since anyones let me be affectionate. Touch starved they call it. And you're clingy. You don't mind my hands. What more reason do I need?"

"A practical reason?" Zoro suggested with a shrug.

"It's a lie Zoro. this night. but we are two consenting adults. There's nothing wrong with a lie that ends at sunrise."

Zoro flicked his eyes to Law's alarm. They had hours yet, and it both felt like not enough and too much time. Law tugged his hair gently.

"Think less, you wanted something. Take it while you can." and Law closed the distance. Deceitfully soft kisses on his lips, trailing down his chin and neck, while soft hands roamed his back, and bottom, and hips, pulling him in tight. Rolling him so that he lay facing the shaggy haired doctor. Zoro let himself go. Moaning freely into the touches, exploring with his own hands, kissing back, eager to use the time while he had it.

…

Nami looked up as Zoro strolled to his desk. She caught the scent of cigarettes, worse spiced cigarettes. And he looked blissfully ignorant that the office could smell it as well. Sanji had found something intensely interesting in his paperwork to bury his head over just then. She looked in the mirror as he set his scarf and folder down. Robin was looking at her, brows furrowed in concern. Her phone lit up,and she saw it was Perona, and she caught her eyes across the desk walls.

'I've had nightmares like this, i'm scared!11!'

Nami sighed, rising to follow Zoro to the breakroom.

"Good weekend?" She closed the door with extra force. He narrowed his eyes at her, tried to act nonchalant.

"No complaints." he muttered, grabbing his favoured mug, handleless and green.

"Aside from the lower back I imagine." that caught him off guard. "Not many people we know who smoke cloves."

"What?"

"Don't play dumb, you slept with your sister's doctor didnt you?"

"So what?" he put the coffee pot back into the machine, and crossed to one of the three tables. "I'm an adult, I'm allowed my fun."

"You don't gotta go flaunting it in your ex's face like that, damn it Zoro Sanji's shared cigarettes with the man, he knows exactly who you bedded. You couldn't have showered?"

"I did, he gave me a ride." Nami stepped closer and sniffed his shirt.

"You stayed the weekend... it's soaked in your clothes."

He pulled his shirt back, and sank into a chair. "So i'm a little out of practice, crucify me, it was Kuina's idea for a rebound anyways."

"You're gonna sit there and tell me Kuina told you to go fuck her doctor?" Zoro winced and gave a half shrug.

"Different words, same meaning."

"But Law Zoro, really?"

"Oh fuck off. No Sanji, no Saga, no Law, anyone else I need to check off before people stop telling me who i can be interested in?"

"Saga?"

Zoro groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I don't even want to think about him."

"This is the first i've heard of him in a long time." She sat down, seeing a bit more of his real exhaustion. "What haven't you been telling me?"

"Kuina already tore me a new one, so you can save the lecture." He leaned back and Nami sighed.

"I'm supposed to be yelling at you for ruining Sanji's day… don't go making me feel like the ass here." She couldnt help but feel for him. "What did he want?"

"To apologize. A real one, i think."

"You think?"

"Kuina…"

"Right." She nodded, and rubbed her sides, they needed a fresh shave. "Did he apologize for blaming you for his arm?"

"That was my fault-"

"Did he or did he not?" she asked harder. He only stared back. "Zoro, what happened on that boat wasn't your fault. Now did he or-"

"He broke up with Johnny and Yosaku for me… that was enough for me."

"Enough for you? Zoro, that… tell me this is just your mood, and you're not being serious." He shrugged.

"I got my flaws." He sniffed at his own shirt. "Obviously poor taste… I'm terrible at handling relationships." he huffed out a laugh, sunk further into his chair. "You know I was planning to invite Saga down for the weekend. Instead I… and now it's the worst monday in awhile. And I had myself convinced it had been a fun weekend."

"You know, if you wanted to have a fun weekend, you could always hang out with your friends."

He smirked at her.

"I did miss teasing you. I heard in passing, from Perona that you were with your author, post meeting." he wagged an eyebrow. "How was that?"

"And I thought I was the queen of deflection."

"Oh is that your strategy?" Zoro had his chin in hand. "Flattery?"

"Is it working?"

"Well, i do get another title, but if you coincide here, I'd have to take Perona at her word. And by her recollection you were a dashing prince, escorting a princess on a romantic outing."

"In passing my ass." Nami ground out.

"You're fighting on the wrong hill."

"It was research Zoro. The characters are nobles, princes of a sort, right so that's why-" she stopped herself.

"That's why-" he rolled a hand, "you were roleplaying? I'm not going to kink shame you, you know that Nami." he hid his grin behind his mug.

"It wasn't like that, come on! You know authors are weird."

"What normal editor invites their author to watch them get a tattoo?"

She heated. He was right. She had been caught up in the moment and, now that she thought about it, that must have been boring, who likes to just sit around watching someone stab art onto someone else?

"You're right. She was probably bored out of her mind." Nami crossed her arms, and threw on a grin. "She most likely only accepted because she's so nice. But now that she knows I'll waste her time, I doubt she'll be eager to set another meeting, unless it's truly necessary. Which frees me up from her distractions. All according to plan."

"Uh-huh… and what did you get this time?"

She twisted her arm out for him to see, just above her elbow, a pile of snowballs, with two banners that read out 'Secret Stash'

He frowned.

"Secret stash? Of snowballs?"

"It's a metaphor!"

"For what?"

"Anything, whatever you need, a secret stash of pads, batteries, good days, chocolates, and so on." he hummed.

"Or snowballs. I like it… guess you haven't told her about the fanart yet?"

"Oh no, you're not baiting me with that again." She rose, "You should probably go home and change." She pulled down another mug, pouring a cup of coffee.

"Wouldn't that just be drawing more attention to the issue?"

"Right." She said returning to the table but standing over him. "That's why you'll need a convenient excuse." She set the coffee in front of him. His cocky smirk faded.

"Yeah, alright." he muttered.

"Enjoying cleaning the mess." she sauntered out, giving one last look at the contemplative Zoro.

She watched with some level of amusement as he exited the breakroom a few moments later, a large dark stain down his white button up, and a glare to anybody who dared stare.

"I'm going home to change." he said, throwing his scarf around him, and yanking his coat off the chair.

"Monday's right?" Perona asked, spinning in her chair as he stormed past.

"Uh-huh." he mumbled, pressing the elevator button hard. He dinged a moment later, Chopper exited with wide eyes as Zoro just shook his head.

"Stay young kid" and the doors closed.

"What's wrong with Zoro today?" Chopper passed her the letter, still looking at the elevator.

"I told you already, the editor's disease. Sometimes it causes shakes, that was his favorite shirt too." She sighed the pad, and grabbed a fiver from the nearly empty jar.

"You're kidding?"

"Never…" She stared at him, "that's always the first thing to go."

"Maybe i should go to med school…" he was staring at the bill. She swung an arm over his shoulder.

"Its the smart move, just imagine all the adorable nurses." he flushed.

"Don't scare him, he's too cute to run off." Perona chimed in, resting her head in both hands.

"Ah, i don't know what to say." Chopper gave a nervous laugh, rubbing his neck, a flush on his cheeks. "Thank you."

"Run, boy. You still have time." Nami swung him towards the elevator.

"What?"

"Nami, no fair, bring him back!" Perona pouted.

"Fly you fool." she nudged him, he looked between her and Perona, still confused. And then Robin's door opened, and Chopper's eyes went wide. Nami looked back, seeing Sanji, scowl in place, a haggard looking cigarette losing its tobacco little by little as he ground on it.

"He's succumbing to the illness…" Chopper was terrified, backing up, pulling his shirt over his mouth and nose. "Is it contagious?"

"We arent sure…" she grabbed at her shirt, and coughed. He ran, fleeing down the stairs in his haste. She laughed, leaning into her seat.

"You're so mean, he is such a sweet boy."

"We know Perona, my sweet." Sanji sat down. "Which is why he must learn to fear an editor's job. Imagine him exposed to the depravity of authors like Moria, Ivankov, And as much as it pains me… Hancock."

Hancock… yeah she was depraved. Poor Sanji had just the hint of the iceberg with her novels though. Nami opened the letter.

"He is an adult you know. I'm sure he's popular, he may want to be an editor to find his own depraved niche."

"No, I won't let you do this, don't try to pervertify Chopper. He is going to be an innocent sweet doctor." Nami announced

"Even Doctors can be perverts though." Sanji mumbled, and his face screwed with contempt. Nami looked up from the letter, catching a concerned Gin and Marco, staring at Sanji.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing, why?" Sanji looked up.

"It sounds like you need a drink. Wanna introduce the newbloods to hungover hump day?"