Out of the Woods (The Walking Dead)
Confessions:
"Take me to your camp and I promise you." When the time comes for me to save your ass, I'll do it."
Merle smiled a conceded grin in return, "Sounds good to me. Let's go."
The two made their way up the mountain to go to this camp Merle was staying at.
"Those are some pretty cool lookin' knives you got there, darlin'." Merle looked down at her throwing knives on her belt. They were a plain black color with a Chinese dragon carved onto the blade of each one.
"Thanks." Suzy replied, "They're nothing special. I've had them for years so they're old as shit."
"You know, when I said you owed me a token of gratitude, I meant something more on the lines of you maybe fellatiating my piece." Merle chuckled concededly.
"Yeah, not happening." Suzy gave an awkward closed mouth smile and looked down at the ground.
"Fair enough, but who knows-" Merle smirked at her, "Maybe you'll succumb to the Dixon charm and change your mind."
"What charm is that exactly?" Suzy looked up at him with sass in her voice.
"You better knock that 'tude off, girl, before I kick you back down this mountain."
Suzy responded by raising her hands in surrender, causing the two to start laughing together. She realized that was the first time she had laughed in a long time. When was the last time? It definitely wasn't when all this shit started going down. It had to be before then.
"Wow, she actually laughs." Merle chuckled, "That's quite a nice smile you got there, girl."
"Thanks." Suzy replied.
"You wanna hit of this?" Merle took a tiny vile out of his vest pocket. Suzy looked at it and powdered sugar immediately came to her mind and she wanted to smack herself for it. She knew what it really was.
"No." Suzy shook her head, making him put the vile back into his pocket.
"Lemme guess, you don't even do crystal either," He scoffed.
"I think there's more important things to focus on nowadays."
He scoffed again, "Should'a known. You ain't no fun at all."
They made it to the camp on the mountain. There were quite a few people there. Some of the women were coming back from the water with wet clothes to hang them on a clothesline, there was an older man on top of an RV with a CB radio next to him, and other men were doing various tasks like boiling new water and cleaning their weaponry. It was a lovely wide open area to hunker down at in her eyes.
"Merle!" One of the men stood up from sharpening his hunting knife and walked over to them, "The hell is that?"
"Ain't you got eyes, boy? That right there is a woman, Darylina." Merle laughed at him.
"I realize that, douchebag." The man spat after calling Merle a douchebag. "I meant who is that."
"Susan." Suzy replied for him, "I'm Susan."
The man looked at her, back to Merle, then back to her. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, but she knew it wasn't good. She could've sworn she heard him mumble something under his breath about Merle and something about women. She didn't want to ask him to elaborate on that.
"I'm goin' huntin'." He said as he walked away.
"Don't worry about him. Just my brother is all." Merle smiled.
"I see the family resemblance." Suzy replied.
After Suzy got acquainted with everyone at the camp, they all sat down around a fire to keep warm and eat dinner. She didn't care what it was, she inhaled it like her mouth was a vacuum. Merle offered her to stay in his and his brother Daryl's tent since Daryl was gone hunting at least until the next day. Andrea, who she was sitting next to, was able to step in and say she could stay with her and her sister instead if she wanted.
"We need more supplies." Shane, who Suzy assumed was the leader of the group, spoke up at the fire, "No one's obligated but is appreciated. Volunteer only."
"Volunteer for what?" Suzy asked.
"To go into the city for a run." He replied, "Everyone knows the risks, so only go if you're prepared."
"I mean," The boy Glenn said, "I think it's obvious I'm the go to town guy. It can be just me."
"Don't be silly, you'll need some of us with you." Andrea said to him.
"I'll go, too." Suzy said, "I should earn my keep."
"Then I'm goin' with ya, darlin'." Merle spoke up and winked at her, "Gotta keep my eye on ya."
After a few more volunteers, it was settled. A group of them were going to head into Atlanta to get supplies for the camp. In hindsight, Suzy wasn't sure if she had known what was to come, if she would have decided to stay at the camp. After thinking about it for a while, she still wasn't sure if she had the answer...
Suzy walked down the street of Woodbury with her sniper rifle's strap on her shoulder. Once she made it to the main wall, she looked up seeing Merle and Martinez still up at their post. Even though she was wearing sunglasses because it was such a sunny day, she still put her hand above her eyes to shield them when she looked up at the two.
"Hey guys," She called out, "I'm here to relieve one of you. It's my turn."
"Damn, I thought Crowley told you. He's taking your post today." Martinez looked down at her, "You and Merle are going on a run today, Governor's orders."
"Yeah, just you and me, darlin'." Merle grinned.
"You knew about this?" She glanced over at Merle, scoffing at the look on his face.
"Hell yeah. Thought you did, too." He laughed and climbed down off the top of the wall to join her on the ground. "Got a car for us outside. Grab your shit so we can get goin'."
"Hey, Suzy-" Martinez called down to her before she could leave. It seemed like he forgot what he was going to say once she turned around and looked up at him again. Not sure of what to say now, he just gave an awkward smile and waved, "See ya."
"Yeah, see ya." She waved back before going off with Merle to get some bags for the trip.
"What's goin' on between you and enchilada up there, huh?" Merle laughed, teasing her.
"Nothing." Suzy replied, "And you did not just call him that."
"What? You don't wanna go show him a good time? Maybe he'll make you some mexi rice or somethin' after."
"Shut up." Suzy playfully shoved his shoulder as they laughed together.
This would be the first time since their arrival they got a chance to leave the town for anything. That was the Governor's rule, no one leaves or goes over the wall without permission. It was for the safety of the residents so they wouldn't get torn apart. The same was for the rule that no one goes out on the street after dark. The only ones allowed out after dark were the guards at the walls and a couple roaming the streets to make sure everyone followed curfew. How long had it been now since they got there? According to a calendar Suzy found in a drawer in her new place, they had been in Woodbury for just over a month. Things had been going well so far. Their injuries have healed tremendously, Merle had no access to-recreational things-so he was a lot more chill and easy to be around.
They gathered some bags, leaving all but one empty for when they found supplies. Specifically, they had to go to a medical supply warehouse for medical supplies. They filled one bag with some cans of food and bottles of water since they weren't sure how long they were going to be gone. Before making their way back to the wall, Suzy tied part of her short hair back into a little pony tail and they left. Martinez opened the gate for them and they went to the car Merle said was for them. It was a dirty silver Chevi, nothing spectacular but she didn't care. As long as it runs and didn't break down on them, she was fine with it.
"Found some discs in here, too." Merle said once they got in the car. He opened the compartment in the middle of the seats and reached with his left hand to pull out some CDs. "Most of it's shit, but there's some good stuff."
He opened an AC/DC album and popped it into the player above the radio in the car. As Shook Me All Night Long started playing, Suzy looked over and noticed something.
"Don't you think the person with two hands should be driving?" Suzy smirked, reminding the both of them about the day they got out of Atlanta.
"Nah, you women can't drive for shit." He said more as a joke, which she could tell, so she playfully shoved his shoulder again.
"You're an asshole." She said.
"You know it." He laughed. Since the car was already started, she put it into drive for him and he drove using only his left hand and rested his bandaged stump at his side.
Using a map, they pinpointed the location of the nearest warehouse. It was a thirty-five minute drive to get there. Luckily there were no geeks on the outside when they got there. Merle shut the car off along with the music and they got out with the empty bags. Upon entering the building, they stayed silent as they looked around to make sure there weren't any inside. Suzy found only one, which she used one of her throwing knives to casually throw between its eyes.
"You have the list?" Suzy asked after she went over and pulled her knife out of the geek's head.
"Yeah, right here." Merle pulled out the piece of paper from his pocket and came over to show it to her.
They went around and grabbed antibiotics, sterile gauze, bandages, IV bags, and syringes. As they picked out the stuff they didn't bother talking for the most part. At one point, Merle found himself looking through an area where there were prosthetics and other stuff like canes, walkers, and wheelchairs. Once Suzy finished finding everything she needed to find, she noticed something inside the dead geek's jacket on the floor. Kneeling down, she carefully reached in and pulled out a peculiar bag. Since it was a ziplock bag, she opened it slightly and sniffed the contents. She immediately grimaced at the smell and closed the bag. That has got to be the worst thing I've ever smelled, she thought. She figured it could be a decent surprise for Merle, so she put it with the other stuff in her bag and closed it.
"Merle?" She called out. She walked around trying to find him. He didn't answer, so she tried again, "Merle? Where'd you go?"
"Over here, darlin'. Give me a sec, gotta snap this in." She heard him respond. Before she could ask what he was talking about, he popped out from where he was and held up his right arm to show her. "Look what I fixed up."
"Wow," She gasped. He found and put together a metal protective prosthetic over his stump. She couldn't even see the stump anymore and the covering made all the way up to almost his elbow.
"Yeah, I got plans for this." He grinned.
"Like what?" She asked.
"Oh you'll see." He replied. Nice vague response there, Merle, thanks.
Suzy just shook her head at him and turned to leave back to the car. However, as soon as she looked out the window by the door, she noticed biters moving outside. Not only that, there was a lot of them, far more than what only the two of them could handle.
"Oh shit." She heard Merle say next to her. "Get down."
Merle grabbed her shoulder for her to get down on the floor below the window to ensure they were out of sight. Realizing they left the front door open, Suzy crawled over to slowly shut the door as quietly as she could so none of them could get in.
"Looks like we're stuck in here 'till they clear out." Merle said. Suzy crawled back over to sit next to him under the window. When she made herself comfortable, he grunted, "This some bull shit. Was barely anything left in here anyway."
"Hey, it's still something." Suzy replied, "And keep your voice down."
After a moment of silence, Suzy remembered what else she had put in her bag.
"I think-" Suzy reached into her bag of supplies and pulled out the bag she found in the geek's jacket, "I found something worth your while."
"Oh shit," Merle gawked at the bag, "Look at you, finally findin' some good stuff."
"I know the Governor doesn't allow drug use in Woodbury. I figured you could hit some of it before we go back. Now I'm thinking it might be a good something to do while we wait for this heard to clear out like you said."
Merle took the bag from her and reached over to grab one of many fallen books so he could rip out a page from its insides.
He laughed, "This is pussy shit, but it'll have to do."
Since it was too difficult to roll some of it up, he told Suzy what to do so she could make it herself and light it with the matches they had with them.
"Downside to havin' only one hand," Merle raised his right arm, "Can't do half the shit I used to do."
"I figured that must suck a whole bunch." Suzy passed him the blunt so he could have the first hit. "I still can hardly remember what happened that day. It's a total blur. Last I remember before I fell was T running over with the key. Then nothing."
"You missed the best part, the part where that piece of shit dropped the key." Merle grimaced and took a hit, "They all left, left us there. Just left us there to suffer and die."
"I'm sure they had their reasons." Suzy replied, "We were all panicking and scared."
"Bullshit." Merle took another hit, "They didn't even bother coming back for us. Hope they're happy with themselves for that."
"We don't know if they did, they could've been planning to come back for us-"
"Maybe for you. They could give less of a shit about me."
"What about Daryl? He wouldn't have let that happen."
"Probably told him we was already dead."
"Yeah. Maybe they did." Suzy nodded, "But we can't know that for sure and we'll never know. It's not like we're gonna see any of them ever again."
To her surprise, Merle started laughing. Perhaps those hits were already getting to him.
"Good riddance." He smiled. There was a few moments of silence while Merle kept taking hits of the blunt. Suzy stared at it for a while and realized she wanted to try it, too now that she was thinking about what happened up in Atlanta that day.
"Can I try it?" She asked.
"I thought you was a no fun girl."
Suzy shrugged, "It's the end of the world, right? Why not?"
Her response made him laugh some more before he handed it to her. The smoke was already trying to cloud around them, making her want to cough, but she wasn't going to do that. She took it into her hand and slowly put it to her lips to take the smallest hit Merle had ever seen someone do in his life. She immediately started choking on it, making him go from a small chuckle to a hysteric laugh.
"Shh!" Suzy tried shushing him while attempt to control her own growing laughter. "Stop laughing at me!"
"I'm sorry, darlin'. Was just too damn funny." Merle laughed, "I can't believe a girl your age never bothered smokin'."
"It was never my thing." Suzy said, "Everyone I went to high school with were almost all mindless stoners and my cousin died from a drug overdose. Ever since that, I swore I wouldn't touch anything like that, nor did I wanna be like the lazy shits in my school. So I kept to my little friend group that felt the same way."
"I've seen the same thing happen to other people before all this. Never stopped me."
"Well," Suzy shrugged again, "You never think it'll be you. Same when it comes to fighting walkers. You don't want it to be you and you think you're strong enough to survive. But with either of those things, it only takes one time. I'm sure you have your reasons like everyone else. It's to block out whatever pain you've had to deal with in your life. That's what my cousin said. His home life kinda sucked and he didn't live in exactly a nice area if you know what I mean. Not like me."
Merle was silent for a while after she said that. He remembered exactly why he started his spiral down the drain that was his life for so long.
"Sorry." Suzy laughed awkwardly, "I'm getting into your weird area, aren't I?"
As he stared at her, he realized something. It was like she said, she didn't have to live a hard life before. Sure she does now, but who isn't nowadays? But before, she didn't have to see ugliness like he had. She was supposed to go on and do great things with her life. She had a lot of life left to live, and it occurred to him that so far, she didn't get very far in terms of that. Therefore there was this innocence to her. Maybe it was because she was still young. Maybe it was because of where she came from. Maybe it was a combination of both of those things. Either way, if the world hadn't gone to shit he knew that she knew there was no way in hell she would've looked at old white trailer trash even once and he probably wouldn't have either. Maybe he would've twenty years ago, but not now. It took him a minute to realize she was staring back, confused as to why he had gotten so quiet.
"Are you okay?" She asked, still making sure to whisper so the dead outside didn't hear them. She handed the blunt over to him, "It's your turn."
Merle grunted in response and took it from her to take a hit from it. She studied his features in order to figure out what he was thinking. She wasn't sure why talking about life before bothered him so much. She guessed it was because that past wasn't a past he was proud of. She couldn't help but feel bad when she thought about it. Before she could even process what she was doing, she took him off guard by leaning in to kiss him. She knew her mother would resurrect to scold her for what she just did. Going for a man even older than her mother. The blasphemy. Once he processed what she was doing, Merle quickly took it upon himself to push her away.
"What are you doin', girl?" He asked. She wasn't sure if his expression meant he was confused, disgusted, angry, or all of the above.
"I-I don't know-I just thought-" Suzy stuttered. She honestly wasn't sure what she was doing. "I thought you wanted-"
"No," Merle shook his head, "I'm old enough to be your daddy. Let's leave it at that."
"That's fair." She never felt more confused than she did right then and there. When they first met, he did nothing but hit on her and even expected them hooking up as compensation for saving her life the first time around. Clearly something changed, but she wasn't going to try getting into his "weird area" again. His "weird area" being talking about his life before or anything to do with his feelings about anything. It was best not to pry into any of that anymore.
"We should get goin'." He said, grunting as he stood up from the floor.
"Yeah, we should." Suzy stood up as well and looked out the window, "I think we can handle what's left outside, don't you think?
"Hell yeah." Merle replied, "Let's go."
They grabbed the bags of supplies and Suzy opened the door for them to run out. Suzy used her hunting knife to stab the dead surrounding the car while Merle kept any wanderers from getting closer. As soon as the car was clear, they jumped into the car, Suzy now being in the driver's seat. Once more geeks started trying to surround the car again, Suzy put the car in reverse and hit the ones at the back. She then put the gear into drive and floored it as she made a sharp turn around the rest and drove off.
"Told you the one with two hands should drive." Suzy said as she drove.
To her surprise, Merle laughed, making her laugh with him. They did that for a while, almost the entire ride back to Woodbury. It was because of that, she realized why she did what she did back in the warehouse. It reminded her of when they first met and he had made her laugh for the first time since the world still had its shit together. Since that time, she had seen nothing but death and never had a moment to feel anything else but fear, hunger, and grief. As much of a pain in the ass as Merle was, he was the first person to remind her of what joy felt like.
It was too bad he wasn't ever going to let her do such a thing ever again. She didn't know his reasons, but she accepted his reluctance to confess anything to her. So she knew she had only one thing left to do. She had to forget about it and pretend it never happened. He was already getting a head start during the drive home. They were going to forget it happened.
It's what was best for the both of them anyways.