Out of the Woods (The Walking Dead)
Unbreakable:
Suzy woke up that morning more refreshed than ever. Last night was the first night she hadn't cried herself to sleep in such a long time. It was becoming a habit even before the world went to shit. She low-key hated to admit it to herself, but she was actually starting to feel comfortable in this place. As of today, the walls were almost completed, there haven't been any accidents, and she hasn't been picked to go on a run for the past week.
The only negative thing, she realized, was that Merle seemed to be avoiding her since their whole interaction the week before while out on their run. She didn't understand him. Before he couldn't stop trying to get into bed with her. Then she actually makes a move and he acts like she's the most revolting thing on the planet. Okay, maybe not that dramatic, but still. Disinterest wasn't the reaction she was expecting from the one and only Merle Dixon. He had no problem bringing other women into his apartment next door to her almost every night. Then again, why should she care? It was like he said, he was too old for her, she was too young for him. It would be best if their relationship wasn't like that. After everything they went through together, it was good enough they stayed friends. He was good at that.
Suzy got dressed in her usual black skinny jeans (to hide the scratches on her legs), black tank top, then her black v-neck on top. She grabbed her knives and wrapped the holster around her belt. She then grabbed her sniper rifle and put the strap on her shoulder. She looked in the mirror and saw the dark circles under her eyes subsiding. Her hair was lifeless today and could use a brushing, but she decided she didn't feel like putting that kind of effort in. She then left her apartment and went to go start her post on the main gate. It was so bright outside, so she put her sunglasses on to ease her overly sensitive gray eyes.
"Hey." Suzy said as she climbed up the ladder to the post. Martinez was already there with his gun. He turned and said hey back, giving that charming smile he didn't seem to like giving often. He seemed perfectly fine around everyone else but her. With Suzy, he couldn't help but turn into an awkward ball of bad conversation.
"Anything interesting happen before I got here?" Suzy asked.
"Nah," Martinez shook his head, "So far it's boring as shit up here. You sleep in or something?"
"I didn't mean to." Suzy replied, "I don't usually sleep that much."
"You needed it then. Might mean you're finally settling in here."
"I guess. You seem settled in alright," Suzy nodded, "How long have you been here?"
"Me?" Martinez shrugged, "Since the beginning when there were only a few of us. I lost my family getting out of Augusta and wound up here."
"Did you have kids?" Suzy asked.
Martinez visibly frowned, "Yeah."
Suzy nodded again and sighed, "I'm sorry."
"What about you, huh?" Martinez lifted his head to gaze at her, "Did you have any?"
"No," She replied, "My sister did, though. She brought my niece down from where they lived in Buffalo for the weekend. Then-well-everything happened and it eventually came down to just me and her. You can see how well that turned out..."
"I'm sorry." Martinez said, "I get it. How it feels. It sucks."
"Yeah." Suzy stared at her feet. "I was still living with my mom, working two jobs, trying to save up to get a place of my own out of New York because it was too damn expensive to live up there."
"What'd you do?"
"I was a waitress and a makeup artist. You?"
"Gym teacher. I also coached the kids football team." Martinez smiled at the bittersweet memories, "I really liked working with kids."
"Were you close with your parents?"
"Nah." Martinez nodded, "We weren't really on speaking terms for a while. I actually haven't tried thinking about them for a long time. Tryin' to is just too damn hard because I don't know what happened to them. It's all what ifs for me. They could've made it...But deep down I know they probably didn't. I can't think too much about or else I start thinkin' of all these different scenarios of what could've happened then it just gets me all depressed and shit. So I blocked it out."
"There aren't any what ifs for me." Suzy's stare became blank behind her sunglasses as she remembered that day. She could feel her chest fluttering and her heart dropping to her stomach, "I saw it happen. Before I got away, I was able to take the shot and put her out of her misery. It wasn't supposed to happen. The place we were at was supposed to be safe, but it wasn't. But the reason I can't stop thinking about it, is because I wish I could take back every mean thing I ever said to her. I was so mean at times over stuff and I shouldn't have been."
"Hey," Martinez put a hand on her shoulder, "Don't think about that. Shit like that is what gets you killed. You can't think about what you could've done better, even before. Guilt isn't gonna do you any good. It'll eat ya."
"I know." Suzy looked up and he could see a tear coming down her cheek. She wiped it so quickly it might as well not have been there at all. "Do you really think this place is safe? Will it make it?"
"I wish I could say for sure, but I can't. I ain't no psychic." Martinez shrugged, "What I do know, is that you're in good hands with the Governor. He knows what he's doing, and he's doing what he has to do to get this place going. Once the walls are done, we ain't got nothing to worry about anymore."
"If you can believe it," Suzy looked up at him, "Then I guess I can, too."
A growl in the distance made the two look over and see three roamers slowly making their way towards the gate. Martinez lifted his gun saying he could get them, but Suzy stopped him.
"Don't." She said, lifting her own rifle, "I need to."
Suzy looked through the scope to aim and shot one by one. The first...Mom...The second...Lucy...The third...Maggie...
"Damn," Martinez whistled, "You really are a good shot."
"I'm a knife thrower. I kind of have to be." Suzy said then gasped when she realized something, "I actually got something for you."
"For me?" Martinez chuckled. Out of her back pocket, she pulled out a carton of cigarettes.
"I found them in a drawer in my apartment." Suzy said, "They're menthols, so I figured you'd be okay with them."
"Thanks." Martinez took the pack of cigarettes, pulled one out and lit it, then put the pack into his own back pocket. "I don't take you for a smoker, just in case you're wondering why I didn't offer you one."
"No, you were right. I don't smoke." Suzy giggled, which he found pretty cute so he laughed with her.
She had no doubt Martinez was a good guy, especially before all this. He was nice, not bad looking, and turned out to not be such a bad conversationist after all. It wasn't like anyone's options were vast nowadays, however she wasn't sure if she could go the extra mile to say she was into him like that. Time would tell, she guessed. She could tell by the way he acted he was into her, and Merle wasn't shy about making that fact clear as all day the second he had the chance. Merle Dixon. Why was he being so weird with her now? And why was she thinking about it again? It's been a week, maybe he was over it by now.
After her shift was over, she planned on finding him to make sure he was over it. If not, she guessed there would be quite a few questions she needed to ask to not only Merle, but herself as well.
After Tim and Shumpert took over her and Martinez's watch shift, Suzy walked down the streets of Woodbury looking for Merle. If he wasn't on a watch shift, then what else could he possibly be doing with his time? She decided to peek into the lab to see if he was chatting with either Milton and/or the Governor inside.
"Knock off already, boy. You're givin' me a damn headache." She heard Merle's voice through the door, confirming her suspicion.
"I have very few rules in here, and not smoking is one of them." She heard Milton say as she opened the door to come in. Milton was the scientist of Woodbury, or at least the best they had. He was among the first people in Woodbury and a friend of the Governor before he was actually the Governor. It annoyed her that he didn't think the biters were actually dead, but he was still one of the nicest people in the place.
"Don't make me come over there and kick your teeth in," Merle grumbled.
"Hey-" Suzy slammed the door shut, "Would it kill you to leave him alone?"
Merle didn't respond. He only rolled his eyes and reluctantly put the cigarette out.
"Thank you." Suzy said, making Merle grunt in annoyance. "What are you doing in here anyway?"
"I-I asked him," Milton said, "I wanted a second opinion from someone with outside experience."
"It's stupid is what it is." Merle rolled his eyes again, "It makes you look like a damn clown."
"What is he complaining about?" Suzy asked Milton. Milton excitedly lifted a jacket he had been making and smiled when he showed it to her. She took it into her hands as he explained it.
"When we go to the screamer pits, I thought this would be a good idea to have for some extra protection." Milton explained. It was a regular jacket with the sleeves completely wrapped in layers of duct tape. "Perhaps it'll catch on and everyone can wear them when they go out on a run-"
"No way." Merle interrupted. "If anyone's catching me wearin' that it's 'cause I'm fuckin' dead."
Suzy couldn't help but laugh at Merle's comment now. She observed it some more and handed it back to Milton.
"It's not a bad idea." Suzy gave him the benefit of the doubt, "Not sure it'll catch on, but if it works? Don't let anyone give you any shit."
"Thank you, Susan. Maybe I should've called you in instead." Milton replied, "But you were on your watch-and-I didn't want to interfere with the watch schedule."
"It's no worries. There's plenty of people willing to take a shift. It's not like much really happens up there anyway. Can't tell you how thrilled me and Martinez got when we finally got to shoot some dead ones today."
Before Milton could make a comment on how "there was still a piece of their old self trapped inside" and how they're still "men and women, not corpses", Merle took it upon himself to make another snide comment.
"You and brownie boy again, huh?" Merle chuckled, "What is Governor trying to play Match Maker now?"
"Meaning?"
"That's gotta be the fifth time this week you've had the same shift together, am I wrong?"
Suzy scoffed and looked at Milton, "Can you believe this?"
"Um-" Milton looked at her then back to Merle, then back to her, "I would rather not be involved in this conversation."
Suzy stepped over so she was no longer across the room from Merle, "Why does me and Martinez hanging out get your big boy panties in such a twist, huh?"
Merle waved his finger at her, "I never said that."
"You know, we still never talked about what happened on our run last week." Suzy looked up at him as she stepped closer, "And why you've been avoiding me because of it."
"Wait, what?" Milton's head popped up, "Is there something going on between you two?"
"No! No." Merle raised his hand at Milton to gesture for him to stay down. He then focused back on Suzy, "Listen, kid. There ain't nothin' to talk about. So forget it, 'kay? And I ain't avoidin' shit 'cause again, there ain't nothin' to talk about."
Suzy frowned, "I'm not a kid."
"Yes, you are." Merle patted the top of her head, "We ain't havin' this conversation again. So get used to it, little one."
Suzy's mouth dropped open at the fact that he had the nerve to also pat her head when he said that. Was he for real? And he just walked out of Milton's lab after that. He made another comment about how dumb Milton's jacket invention was before he shut the door, then he was gone. Suzy turned around, still trying to comprehend what he just said.
"You heard that, right?" Suzy pointed to the door Merle walked out of.
"Heard what?" Milton said nervously, "I didn't hear anything."
"He talked to me like I was five-years-old!" Suzy said, offended, "Where did he get the nerve?"
"I have no idea." Milton awkwardly replied. "He has never exactly been respectful."
"I swear. He tries to pull that shit with me again, I'll-" Before Suzy could finish her sentence, she and Milton heard a loud rumble like something big had fallen down. Next there were screams. Next there was gunfire, then more screams.
"Stay here and lock the door." Suzy told Milton before running out the door to see what happened.
"What's happening?" Milton shouted.
"I don't know! Just stay there!" Suzy looked back as she ran to reply to Milton then continued running towards the sound. She had no gun besides her usual .38 on her belt. Her sniper rifle had been given to Tim when he took over her shift since those weapons were shared among the guards.
"Martinez!" Suzy shouted as she sprinted, "Merle!"
The sounds of screams and gunfire brought her to the rear of the wall. Behind her, she heard the Governor's authoritative voice shouting what the hell was going on while other pedestrians ran past her, screaming in fear. It was nearly dark. These people should've been in their homes by now. The closer she got to the rear part of the wall, she saw what was actually happening. There was a herd of the undead walking right through a breach in the wall. One already was making a meal out of a guard she didn't know. She could've sworn his name was Justin, or something like that.
"Get inside! Now!" The Governor shouted to the people running away. He pulled out his silver pistol and shot down a roamer.
"There's a breach in the wall!" Suzy said once the Governor caught up to her. "What do we do?"
"Get everyone inside!" He commanded, shooting down another biter, "Make sure the doors are locked and start taking out as many biters as you can!"
The Governor went to help the guards at the main part of the breach. Suzy could feel the panic trying to take over her mind. She took a few deep breaths before nodding to herself and going off to follow the Governor's orders. She started helping the people get inside their homes and using her knives to take out any roamers in her way. She grabbed a lady's hand to help her to her up when she fell. She recognized her as Karen. Once she got her to the door to the apartments, Karen thanked her.
"Go to your room and lock the door." Suzy said, "Don't come out until the Governor says so!"
"Thank you, Susan." Karen said. Just then, her face turned white, "Watch out!"
Suzy turned around in time to see a biter right behind her. It grabbed her by the shoulders to try biting her, but Suzy wrestled it away from the door. As she tried keeping it off of her, she continued yelling for Karen to shut the door and not try helping her. She managed to get enough distance between them to kick the dead one in the torso a few times to get it to let go of her and force it backwards. It worked, making it so she could use one of her knives to stab it in the head. But as soon as she pulled her knife out of its skull, another appeared in front of her, its skinless mouth chomping at her. Before she could try stabbing that one, gun shots to its head made it fall on top of the previous one she had killed. When it fell, she saw who fired the shots.
"Merle?" She gasped, "Thanks."
"Just take a gun, sweetheart, and start shootin'." Merle said, tossing her an AR-15 he had on his shoulder. She saw he was using the same thing to shoot with, "Knives ain't gonna do it this time."
She took the gun and nodded as another thanks to him. She turned around and shot four more coming straight for her. She then followed Merle to the rear wall, shooting down more dead ones along the way. Merle still used his new blade piece he put on his metal prosthetic for any that came up too close. Once they got to the breach, Suzy took aim and shot a biter that pinned down Crowley. Martinez was also there by now, fighting right alongside the Governor in the heat of the breach. Suzy and Merle went back to back to shoot at the herd from all directions. In that moment, they weren't thinking about any of their problems with each other anymore. All they could think about was working together to save Woodbury.
"Mom!" Suzy shouted at the top of her lungs. The dead were surrounding her, they were surrounding everyone. This place was lost now...
"Suzy we have to go!" Lucy had Maggie under her arm.
The shot. She took the shot. Before they escaped, she had to...
"Suzy!" Merle shouted, "Don't you get all weak on me now!"
She couldn't hear him. Her mind was no longer here, she was back there. It was all the same. There wasn't any sanctuary. Suzy fell to her knees in a blank stare. She even dropped her rifle on the ground at her side. When she looked around, all she could see was West Virginia. Her heart was pounding, her eyes were tearing, and her stomach felt like it was in knots. She couldn't even breathe.
"Come on, girl!" Merle shouted, but she still couldn't hear him. Merle had to turn around and shoot the biters coming right for her because she wasn't doing anything to stop them. He tried getting her to stand up, but her state didn't change once he got her to do so. He had her face him and she couldn't look him in the eye. When he looked into hers, he saw nothing but blank fear.
"You get it together, now. You hear me?" He said, "I need ya. I need ya to come back now. Look at me, girl. Don't you look at anythin' else, you hear?"
Suzy started looking around then focused on Merle, who was lightly shaking her shoulders to help her focus.
"It's lost..." She said. Merle felt her shaking beneath his touch, "There is here now."
Merle looked at her confused by that last part. It took him a second to realize what she actually meant. He remembered Suzy telling him about the first camp she was at. She had lost family there. The only problem was he had no idea how to help her.
"You ain't there no more. It's almost over." Merle said, still holding her by her shoulders, "So you get it together. I don't want you to die. I won't allow you to die on me. 'Kay?"
Suzy stared into his icy blue eyes for a moment. It helped bring her back to reality. She nodded a few times until she believed it. It's almost over. If they kept fighting just a little more, Woodbury would be okay again. It didn't have to be lost. Her eyes became visibly less blank as she regained her footing.
"Okay." Suzy nodded again.
"Good." Merle nodded and patted her one shoulder with his hand. She then proceeded to pick up the rifle he had given her and they once again stood back to back to shoot down the remaining walkers.
With all the able bodies they had, they were able to finish off the remaining of the herd with the hour. They didn't win unscathed. There was at least six of their own dead from the ordeal. Everyone sighed in relief when it was over. Once it was, the Governor wasted no time to have some of the guards start dragging away the dead walkers out. Suzy decided to help as well in order to keep her mind busy, while Merle helped gather the weapons everyone used so they could be put back in the armory.
"Hey," Martinez approached her, "You okay?"
"Yeah," Suzy nodded but made no eye contact to assure him it was true. She sniffled and wiped her nose then bent down to pick up another corpse.
"It's okay if you're not." He said, making her put the body back down. She took a deep breath and looked up at him.
"I was back there." She said, "When my last camp got overrun. When I had to..."
Martinez knew exactly what she was trying to say. It was what she had told him earlier about her mom. He wasted no time and immediately brought her in for a tight hug in his strong arms. It was enough to make her completely fall apart and start crying her eyes out. She held onto him so tightly it should've been hurting him, but he made no complaints. He let her cry and get it all out because he knew she had to or it would eat her up, like he had told her. From a distance, Merle saw this and had no idea what to think of it. He knew he wasn't capable of comforting anyone like that. He didn't know if he liked or hated that about himself. He also didn't know if he was okay with what he was witnessing, or if he was not okay with it whatsoever. The only thing he did know for sure was he did not enjoy seeing Suzy so sad and broken like that.
If she was going to receive comfort from anyone, he knew it could never be from him, that he knew for sure as well. So he was going to have to get used to Suzy getting that from someone else. That conclusion was then what made him realize he wasn't okay with that either. But it didn't matter, because she would never have to know.
He already made himself clear to her, which was his mistake. He knew that now, too...