Out of the Woods (The Walking Dead)
Tanks:
Winter was on its way, Suzy could feel the shift in the weather when she went outside. Things were back to awkward silence and avoidance when it came to anything with Merle. When Martinez was around, it only made things even worse. She noticed how Merle would abruptly leave the room once Martinez walked in to be with Suzy. He always wanted to punch that smile right off his face and leaving the room was the only thing keeping him from going through with it. As for Suzy, she wanted to talk about it, but she knew Merle would just shut down again and the cycle would repeat.
"We're gonna have to do some serious scavenging if we're gonna have enough to last us the winter." Martinez said. They were currently in a meeting with the Governor in his apartment. Merle couldn't up and leave in this situation, as much as that irked him. Ever since Suzy's performance with Merle during the wall breach, the Governor had her start coming to his little "inner circle" meetings. He finally trusted her to become one of his main soldiers. Martinez told her it was a great honor to be in the ranks with him, Merle, Shumpert, and Tim and Crowley. They were the ones who went out on runs with the Governor for big heaps of supplies. She wasn't sure if it really was a great honor. There was something about the Governor that made her uncomfortable. His whole aura was intimidating and dark. His "charming pretty boy" personality felt more and more like a show every damn day.
"Maybe we won't have to." The Governor said, pointing at the map, "If we go here then we should be able to find everything we need. Winters aren't bad here. Maybe a few extra blankets for each house just in case. If we can get everything in one fell swoop, then we won't have to go out on runs the rest of the winter."
There were about sixty people in Woodbury now. Which meant a lot more mouths to feed. He really thought they could get everything they needed in one trip? Sure they had the numbers to gather more supplies than just two or three, but still. What made him so confident? She looked at the spot he pointed to on the map. She had never been out that far when she went out on runs with Merle.
"You sure they're still there?" Martinez asked.
"I sent Crowley out the other day to check. They're still there." Governor replied, "We'll park the vehicles a mile out and I'll go in. Tim, Crowley, and Shumpert will take the left. Martinez, you, Merle and Susan will take the right. When it's done, we'll bring the cars back up and pack up whatever supplies we can. Now go gather the rest and get your guns together and anything else you need. We head out in an hour."
The three of them left the Governor's place to head to the armory to gather the weapons they would need. Suzy thought they'd be grabbing simple handguns, but was surprised to find Martinez handing her an AR-15.
"Martinez?" Suzy finally spoke up, "What exactly are we doing?"
"What do you mean?" He replied in confusion, "Supply run."
"Yeah, but-" She thought about what the Governor said before, "Where are we getting it from?"
"Look," Martinez put his hand on her shoulder, "This is your first run with the Governor. Maybe it's best you don't know too much until we get there. He finally thinks you're ready for this. Best not to make him change his mind before we even leave."
"Thanks for making this sound even more ominous than it already did." Suzy attempted to laugh to lighten the atmosphere. It worked since Martinez chuckled in return. He then kissed her forehead and patted her shoulder.
"You'll be fine, I promise." He said, "We got this."
When Martinez left the armory with the guns he was going to go give Tim, Shumpert, and Crowley, Suzy noticed Merle was still there and had been listening in on their conversation. She stared at him, feeling the atmosphere become awkward once again. She debated saying anything to him. Should she? What was there to say anyway? He looked upset. About what, she didn't know.
"Something I can help you with?" She asked, sarcasm in her voice. Merle deeply inhaled though his nose and nodded.
"You shouldn't be here." He said. He made his way out of the armory. As he left, she could've sworn she heard him mumble, "Shouldn't be you doing this."
That was what was upsetting him? He didn't want her coming out on the run? This was clearly more than what happened between them the day of the party. There was something about this run that was serious to the point where Merle didn't like the fact that the Governor chose her to go with them. Why?
She knew she was about to find out real soon...
They took two cars on the way out of Woodbury. The drive took about forty minutes and no one spoke the entire time. Suzy was in the car with the Governor, who was driving. Merle was in the passenger seat, and she sat beside Martinez in the back. She had no idea why, but she felt her anxiety levels rising. She could feel that familiar fluttering in her chest, the same feeling that made it harder to breathe. She had a bad feeling about this. Everyone looked so serious, they were bringing military armory on a simple supply run. No one would tell her outright where they were going to get this huge amount of supplies from. Something was wrong.
Martinez noticed her distress and grabbed her hand that was resting on her thigh. His action made her turn to look at him. He gave her a nod and tightened his grip to assure her everything was going to be fine. This calmed her a little. She took a deep breath and pushed her negative thoughts away. She was fine. Everything was going to be fine. There was nothing to worry about.
When the Governor pulled over on the street, that was when she knew they were a mile out from wherever they were going. As they walked the rest of the way, they split up into their groups of three to enter the location from either side. As she got closer, Suzy saw where their destination was. There was a group of about fifteen people with a camp right outside an elementary school. Most of them were men, only five being women. It reminded her of the camp on the mountain in Atlanta. Before she could get any closer, Martinez grabbed hold of her arm to pull her to the side and have her get down on the ground. Martinez, Merle, and Suzy all squatted on the ground to hide behind some overgrown bushes. When she opened her mouth to ask what was going on, Merle put a finger to his lips and shook his head to tell her not to make a sound.
"Excuse me! Don't shoot!" She heard the Governor shout to the group. He approached them with his hands up, "Do any of you know how which direction Highway 85 might be? I'm just tryin' to find my way back to my community."
Hearing the Governor lie made Suzy's heart sink into her stomach. She didn't want to believe it, but she had a feeling this was what they were coming to do. They were here to rob this group for their supplies.
"Where you from?" One of the men asked, lowering his gun.
"I'm from a community that's pretty close to here." The Governor replied, "It's a town with walls. If you have a map or somethin' so I can know where to go, I can bring you all back there. There's walls, fences, food, medical care."
"How many people do you have?" Another man asked.
"Right now, sixty. We're all about rebuilding society and have it be like what was. You can bring everyone in your group. We could always use more people."
The group conversed amongst themselves, a few of them nodding their heads at the offer. Then there were others that were shaking their heads no, probably because they weren't sure about it. As they should be, Suzy thought.
"And," The Governor smiled, "If you come with us, you can also bring all your supplies. Looks like you're all holdin' up well here. I think you'd be a great fit for the community."
The rest of the group began smiling and nodding at the idea. They started gladly picking up their bags to start following the Governor back to Woodbury. The only thing was, was that the Governor wasn't moving. Once around five of them started getting closer, the Governor grabbed his pistol from its holster so fast Suzy almost didn't even see it. He so nonchalantly shot the first guy in front of him right in the chest, signaling them to begin firing. Suzy held her gun to her chest so tightly her knuckles turned white. She didn't know what else to do but stare at all those people being shot mercilessly by Tim, Crowley, Shumpert...Martinez...Merle. The gunfire made her ears ring. The screams from the people they shot down pierced through the shots, making her feel like she was suffocating. It was over almost as quickly as it started. The entire group was down.
Martinez and Merle stood to make their way to the Governor for further instruction. Suzy stood slowly and followed behind them, not able to wipe away the look of shock on her face. The man the Governor had shot was still alive at his feet. He gestured for Crowley to hand him his gun. When he took it, he bent down and began bashing that man's head in with the back of the gun. Suzy gasped in horror, the sight of this poor man's brains splattering all over the ground. He kept going until the man's head was completely caved in. She felt Merle's hand on her shoulder. He was trying to discreetly comfort her as best he could. He couldn't tell her he was sorry or that everything was going to be okay. He couldn't let the Governor see her crying on his shoulder from this. All he could do was put his hand on her shoulder to let her know he was still there for her, and that he didn't agree with what just happened. The look of satisfaction on the Governor's face made her feel sick. This was the kind of shit he got off on? There was a whimper across the way. They looked over and saw there was another man still alive with a dead girl beside him. He was trying to crawl away. He had gunshots in various parts of his body so he couldn't even get up to walk.
"Susan," The Governor called her over, making her heart stop.
Her knees were visibly shaking as she walked over to him. When she got close enough, he held out his hand to ask for her gun. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she handed it to him. He smiled as a way to say thank you, then reached to grab one of her throwing knives. He handed it to her.
"Go put that one out of his misery." He said, looking her in the eye.
She suddenly lost the ability to breathe. She gripped her knife so tightly it hurt. She didn't have it in her to throw it like he probably wanted her to. Instead, she slowly made her way over to the man who was trying to crawl away. She used her foot to stop him from moving by placing it on his back. His whimpering became more erratic. Please stop, please, she thought. She kneeled down to stop him from squirming. She gripped the knife in her hand, but couldn't bring herself to do it. A gunshot was easy. Why was he making her do it this way?
"Please..." He cried. She couldn't tell if it was a plea to live or a plea to die. She took a few quick breaths to ease her pounding heart. She looked into his eyes, trying to find her voice to tell him she was sorry. Her hand shook holding the knife as she raised it in the air.
"Please, Suzy. You have to." Lucy begged, "Don't let me be like them. Please..."
Suzy remembered what it was like when she killed Lucy. She didn't want to, but she had to. She had no choice. It was what had to be done to end someone's suffering. She nodded her head then swung her knife down to pierce the man's skull. He was dead. They were all dead. She felt like she was about to vomit. She stood, feeling the queasiness in her stomach about to come up. No, she couldn't in front of the Governor. She didn't want him to make her end up as another body in the pile. She buried it so she could go back to the group.
"Good job," The Governor smiled, hands on his hips, "That's something you gotta know, Susan. Never waste a bullet. Save 'em for when you need 'em."
Never waste a bullet...So in the Governor's mind, putting that man out of his misery by shooting him would've been a waste of a bullet. He's a fucking sicko, Suzy thought to herself as she nodded in understanding. This was her leader? A cold-blooded murderer? He was sick, he was a psycho. He brought her out here to involve her in his sick ways to steal innocent people's supplies. Instead of actually bringing them back to Woodbury, he killed them, and for what? The simple satisfaction of killing? That feeling she had in her gut since the beginning was right and she hated herself for not trusting her instincts sooner. She let him convince her he was a good person for the sole fact he saved her and let her have a roof over her head. He was full of shit. He was a monster. And she was terrified of him.
Shumpert and Tim drove the cars up to the camp so they could all start packing up the supplies. Suzy felt numb the entire time. It was the only way to get through this. She complied with everything and helped put the supplies in the car. She didn't say a word the entire time. Martinez almost said something when they were at the car together, but he didn't know what to say. It wasn't like he enjoyed it either, but what else could he do? He believed every ounce of bullshit the Governor said. Killing didn't feel great, but it was "what they had to do to survive. For the good of Woodbury". She couldn't look Martinez in the eye. She kept to herself and tried getting the supplies in as quickly as possible so they could leave. Stepping over the bodies made her lightheaded. Plus, the gunfire was sure going to bring in every walker within the area.
Once they were done and the dead began showing up, they all piled back into the cars to drive back to the community. It was a quiet ride. Martinez attempted to hold her hand again, but she ripped it away. She didn't want anymore comfort. She didn't want to go back to Woodbury. She didn't want to be a part of this monstrosity. She wanted to leave. She was going to leave. She didn't care what the Governor's rules were anymore. She was leaving tonight.
When they got back to the town, she of course played her cool by helping unload all of the supplies. Merle left her alone, which she was grateful for. Martinez, however, kept trying to make conversation with her, even after they were done unloading.
"Hey," Martinez caught up to her when she attempted to go back to her apartment, "You okay?"
"No." Suzy replied, not stopping for him.
"I know, the first time is the worst." He said, "I felt the same way. We don't have to like it, but it's what we have to do."
"What? Killing people?" Suzy stopped in her tracks, "We could've brought them back with us and you know it. They wanted to. We didn't have to kill them, but we did. How are we any different than the biters?"
"We're doin' what we have to do to survive." Martinez said, "We're buildin' a life."
"By taking away others." Suzy snapped at him, ending the conversation right there. When she walked away, she noticed Shumpert across the way looking at her and Martinez. Was he listening to them? At this point she wouldn't be surprised.
When she got in the building, she ran to her room and began packing her stuff as fast as she could. Her clothes, some bottles of water, a few cans of food. She managed to fit it into her little backpack. She didn't care if winter was on the way. All she knew was that she wanted out. She didn't want to even look at this place ever again. As she packed her stuff, she thought of a plan. She had a night watch shift that night, so it wouldn't be suspicious to see her out on the street during that time. She could sneak through the back part of the wall. Or perhaps go to her shift at the front wall and make a run for it when they go to move the dead walkers from the area. No, she had something better. Either way, once she got over the wall, she was going to have to make a huge run for it. Merle was right about one thing, the woods had more cover. She was going to run until she found the woods, and she was going to keep running for as long as she could, not caring what direction it was in.
Once it was dark, she walked down the street as calmly as she could. No one looked twice at her, proving she was doing okay with keeping her cool. It wasn't uncommon for her to bring her backpack with her on an overnight shift either. She usually brought some food and water for her and Martinez, or whoever she had a shift with. She made her way to the back wall and saw Tim already up there as expected.
"Hey," She called out to him, "You and me are switching shifts tonight."
"Since when?" Tim asked.
"Since now." she replied, climbing up the ladder, "I already told Crowley, so he's expecting me here. You're on the main wall with Martinez tonight."
"Why?"
"I just-" Suzy sighed, "I'd rather not be on with Martinez anymore. He likes me and I don't know. After today, I don't think he's the guy for me, you know? It's awkward trying to be around him now."
"Dang, that sucks." Time replied, "I mean, I don't care where I am. So I don't mind switching if that's what you want. Does Martinez know?"
"Kind of." She lied, "I said we're switching, but I didn't have the heart to tell him the rest yet."
"Understood." Tim smiled, "I'll go over there now. Crowley should be around any minute."
"Got it." She waved when he got down the ladder, "I'll see you in the morning."
"Yep." He waved back, "See ya."
She watched him leave, waiting until he was completely out of sight. Luckily, the rear of Woodbury was pretty barren in terms of any people. She only had to make her move before Crowley showed up or Tim realized she lied. Once she was sure no one was around, she bent down to start climbing down the other side of the wall. Since it was high, she had to hold on to the edge and stretch down as close as she could to the ground. She made her jump and landed on her feet, making the adrenaline start pumping through her veins. She took off into the darkness as fast as she could, wanting to get as far away as possible. She was finally free...
Crowley went to make his way to the rear wall for his shift, but paused when he saw Tim up on the main wall with Martinez. They always had their shifts together. What was with the sudden change?
"Yo, Martinez," Crowley said, "Stealing my watch partner with me now? Where's your girlfriend?"
"Okay, first, she's not my girlfriend. At least not yet," Martinez chuckled, "Second, I was just about to ask Tim here the same thing."
"What do you mean?" Tim said, "She told me she told you we were switching shift posts from now on."
"She didn't tell me that." Martinez shook his head, "Why would she tell you and not me?"
The three of them paused for a moment. No, there was no way. As if a gunshot went off, the three of them all came to the same realization and began sprinting down Woodbury. They ran straight to the rear wall and Crowley pulled out his flashlight to point it at the top of the wall. Suzy wasn't there. Martinez grabbed Crowley's flashlight and climbed up the ladder to shine the light out past the wall. He looked frantically, but there was no sign of her.
"Shit," Martinez whispered. He climbed back down the wall and began running straight for the Governor's place.
"You think she ran?" Tim asked, running by his side.
"She won't make it far," Crowley said, "It's pitch black out there."
Once they made it up the stairs in the building, Martinez barged in on the Governor talking with Merle in his little office area.
"What's goin' on here?" Merle asked.
"It's Susan, she uh-" Martinez panted to catch his breath, "She's gone."
"What?" Merle gasped, glaring at him in disbelief, "What you mean, gone? She left?"
"She got me away from my post and must've jumped the wall," Tim sighed, "I'm sorry, Governor. I should've-"
"Don't be sorry." Governor stood from his desk, "Tim, Crowley, and Shumpert. Head out there right now and bring her back alive. Once you get her, bring her straight here to my office. Any of you have any idea why she left? Like what panicked her?"
"She-" Martinez said, "She was pretty shaken up by what happened with that group earlier today. I don't know, it might've been a bit too much at one time for her."
"Shumpert told me you two had an argument when we got back." The Governor said, "Is that true? What did you talk about?"
"Yeah." Martinez nodded, "She wasn't sure if she was on board with your methods is all. I figured she just needed time to cool off and she'd get over it. I didn't think she'd run."
"I'm goin' with ya." Merle said when Tim and Crowley started walking out the door.
"Merle, I know how much Susan means to you, I do. But I need you here." Governor said.
"You can't stop me," Merle replied sternly, "Not this one. Sorry, Governor."
"Then go." Governor replied, "Bring her back safely."
Merle nodded and led Tim and Crowley out of the building. He got the silver Chevi and they drove out, U-turning to go in the direction of the rear wall. He couldn't believe she did this by herself. He had to make sure she was okay and to make sure neither Tim or Crowley tried to harm her. For all he knew, the Governor could've been sending them out to kill her for leaving. He was going to make sure she was going to stay alive and safe. He didn't know if he could handle something happening to her. It was hard enough watching her be so scared when they raided that camp. He didn't want to be there doing any of that either, but he didn't have a choice. He would rather be the devil's right hand in his path of destruction than be in the path. Now he wasn't sure if it mattered anymore. With his brother Daryl gone, she was all he had left in the world. He couldn't lose her, too...
Suzy ran down the road, stopping for a moment to pull out her flashlight. She looked all around her to see if anyone was coming for her yet. She sighed in relief and continued on her way down the road. A sudden groaning sound from behind startled her. She turned around only to see nothing. When she turned back around, she was met with a skinny but strong and resilient walker. She gasped at the sight of it in her flashlight and tried to quickly grab her knife. The things decomposing hand grabbed her hand that had the flashlight, making the light start shining in various directions. Its teeth kept chomping at her, the growls becoming more and more aggressive. She kicked it in the knees as hard as she could to knock it down. Once it fell on the tar road, she was able to grab her knife and stab it through its temple, burying the entire blade into its skull. The sound of a car made her freeze where she stood. When she listened closer, it was indeed a car coming up from the road behind her, straight from Woodbury. They were coming for her.
She yanked her knife out from the dead walker's skull and ran straight for the woods on her left. She turned the flashlight off and put it back in her bag. The car came closer, making her hide behind a tree and remain still. They could've seen the light coming from her flashlight when she was fighting the walker. She hoped they didn't. The headlight came into view and the car came to a stop right in front of the dead walker. As quietly as she could, she began moving further into the woods, trying not to make a sound.
"Fresh kill," Tim said when him and Crowley got out of the car and looked at the body, "She's close."
"We're checkin' the woods." Merle said, turning off the car engine.
"Which way?" Crowley asked, "She could've entered from either side of the street."
"Trail of blood from the walker kill leads that way," Merle pointed to the left hand side of the road, "She went through there."
Suzy kept making her way through the trees as silently as she could. It was so dark she could hardly see a thing. She couldn't turn on her flashlight while she was being followed, so she knew she was pretty screwed when it came to vision. Her strategy was to silently tiptoe a few feet then hide behind a tree for a few moments then repeat. She heard the leaves rustling nearby. From the way it sounded, she knew it was a biter from the way the feet were shuffling and dragging on the ground. She pulled out one of her throwing knives then peeked a look behind her. She could see the shadow of a biter coming closer and closer. When she came out from behind the tree, it started growling something fierce, drawing the attention of Tim, Crowley, and Merle. They began running in the direction of the sound and Tim started shouting Suzy's name.
Suzy threw her knife to silence the walker with an easy flick of her wrist. She ran over to pull her knife out from between its eyes and listened for whoever was coming for her. She heard Tim's voice, signaling for her to start running. She kept her knife in her hand and made a run for it, the trio finding the dead walker as they ran by, assuring them they were catching up to her. She ran for her life, knowing that if they caught her, she would be brought back to Woodbury. She didn't want to know what the Governor would do to her if she had to face him for this. Wouldn't he consider this a betrayal? No one's ever tried running away from Woodbury before. No one leaves. She didn't want to go back there, and they weren't going to make her.
"Suzy!" She heard Merle's voice in the distance. She stopped in her tracks, noticing she ran straight into a crowd of biters, at least a dozen.
Merle ran in to help her by stabbing one of the walkers with his blade hand. She threw one of her knives, then another, then another. Tim and Crowley noticed her and Merle busy fighting the walkers, which had them thinking it was the perfect opportunity to grab her. Crowley stood guard while Tim came up from behind and grabbed Suzy from around her waist. Suzy screamed and elbowed Tim in his gut, knocking the lights out of him when he hit the ground. Crowley stepped in to help, but she punched him straight in his face, making her knuckles bleed. She then shoved him into a pair of biters which had him screaming for his life. She got one of her knives out of a dead walker's head and used it to stab another walker through the eye behind her shoulder.
"Tim! Merle!" Crowley screeched. Merle ran over and killed the walkers that had a hold on Crowley, one nearly biting the nape of his neck. Suzy took the opportunity to grab the rest of her knives back and make another run for it. When she tried, another walker came out of nowhere and tackled her to the ground. On her back, all she could do was to try pushing it off of her, but it wasn't working. Its face kept getting closer and closer to hers, its soulless eyes looking into hers as it reached in to try taking a bite out of her cheek. The walker's growls silenced when a blade entered its temple, the blade being Merle's blade hand. He pushed the dead biter off of her then proceeded to help her stand.
"Merle-" She panted, feeling a sense of relief from seeing him there. She threw her arms around his neck, giving him conflicting feelings. He decided to reciprocate the action as best he could, even though he wanted to scream at her for what she did. She ran away and nearly got herself killed in the process.
"What did you think you were doin', huh?" He asked as he made her release her hug. He put his one hand on her shoulder, "Hmm? You almost got yourself and Crowley killed."
"I'm sorry." Suzy felt her eyes welling with tears she had been so desperately trying to hold in, "Merle...I-"
"No, don't even." Merle then put his arm around her, "Come on. Let's get you home."
"That's not my home." Suzy said a little more sternly. "Don't make me go back there."
"I'd rather have you there than out here in the middle of the night by yourself." Merle replied, "I'm not askin'. I'm tellin'. We're gettin' in the car and we're goin' home right now. Come on. Sleep it off."
Tim and Crowley gathered themselves and followed the two back to the car. They got into the back seat while Suzy sat in the passenger seat next to Merle.
"How can you listen to someone like him?" Suzy asked, "How can any of you? What he did wasn't necessary for survival. It was sick. He's not fit to be a leader. Sorry I thought I would rather take my chances out there then stay in that place another minute."
"None of us have to like it, sweetheart." Merle said while Tim and Crowley stayed silent. "Our job is to get the job done. To survive you gotta play the hand you're dealt. As for me, I only got one. If you don't like it, tell Governor you're steppin' down so you won't have to go out there anymore, at least with him. No reason to run like that. You'd be dead if I didn't show up when I did."
"You really think it's gonna be that easy?" Suzy said, "That I can just tell the Governor I don't want to and that'll be it?"
"He's a simple man," Merle nodded, "So I don't see why not. He just does what he has to do."
They made it back to Woodbury within fifteen minutes time. Crowley was right, she didn't make it far. Deep down she knew Merle was right in a sense. She should've taken more time to think of a plan so she could make it further out. She was too impulsive because she was scared. Merle assured her that the Governor would be willing to talk and take her wants into account. He better be right about that. Merle went to take over watch with Martinez while Tim and Crowley dropped Suzy off at the Governor's dwelling. Crowley wasted no time whispering to the Governor before Tim brought her inside about how she literally almost killed him. Once he left, Tim let her in and shut the door, leaving the two of them alone.
"Have a seat." The Governor was sitting behind his desk. He gestured for her to sit in the chair across from him. She awkwardly sat, not able to look him in the eye.
"You gave us quite a scare there," He smiled, "We were all so worried about you."
Doubt, She thought.
"Would you mind telling me why you decided to jump my wall and sneak out in the middle of the night?" He asked.
"I-" She had no idea how to phrase this without angering or offending him, "The raid-the run-we made. I-um, it shook me up a little. I appreciate you thinking I can join you in your affairs, but I don't think I can anymore. I told Merle I'd feel safer leaving, and I still feel that way. But if I stayed, I only ask that you accept my resignation as a soldier. I'll find something else to pull my weight in if it means I don't have to be involved anymore."
"Fair enough." He shrugged casually and stood from his desk so he could loop around to the front and lean against it. "You're no prisoner here, but there's a time and place for everything. That was a reckless decision you made and it almost cost the life of one of my men. I suggest you take some time to think things through before resigning from your position. You're one of my most valuable soldiers, I need you up there with the rest of them. Plus, if you were to leave, that would also mean Merle would leave with you. I can't have that. So I think we can come to an agreement. No more runs for you and I'm cutting your night shifts from now on. If you go on a run, it'll only be when it's one with me. But I'll cut you some slack and keep you from those for a month until I say otherwise. How's that?"
In a nutshell, he was basically telling her she was no longer allowed outside the wall, period, unless it was with him there watching her to make sure she didn't try running away again. She didn't know what to say to that. He really made it sound like she was getting a good deal here, but she knew it was anything but. He says she's not a prisoner then proceeds to make her a prisoner by never letting her leave the walls again. By the expression of doubt on her face, his expression darkened a little. He was dropping his "nice guy" act real quick when he noticed she was no longer falling for it.
"Stand up, please." He said. She gazed up at him and did as he said, even though she was unsure as to what he was doing. She hoped it was him telling her she could leave, but her gut said something very different. He stopped leaning on his desk and held out his hand.
"Follow me, Susan." He smiled, but it wasn't his usual charming smile. It had this darker aura around it, which made her uneasy. She took a deep breath and gave him her hand, making him lead her behind his office into a different area of his apartment. He brought her to a locked door. He let go of her hand to unlock it and swing it open.
"Go on," He gestured for her to enter the room.
The room was barely lit with a leather couch in the middle. As she stepped in, she noticed the light was coming from fish tanks. When she lifted her head to see what was in the tanks, her heart nearly beat right out of her chest. Her jaw dropped in shock and her entire body began shaking. There were about four fish tanks stacked on top of each other with heads inside the water. Walkers, and normal human heads. They were only heads with lifeless eyes staring into her. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt him approach behind her. He was breathing right into her ear, sending chills down her side.
"How about this," He whispered into her ear, "You even try leaving like that again, I'll take off Merle's head and put it in that tank right there."
Suzy stared at the heads in the tanks, envisioning Merle's head joining them because of her. A single tear fell down her cheek. She knew the Governor could feel her shaking because he was so close.
"Do you understand?" He whispered, "Or do I need to take you right here, right now to prove my point?"
He grabbed her so fast she didn't even have a chance to react. He had her slammed against the wall with his hand tight around her throat. He tightened his grip, pressing with the intention to strangle her. He pressed his body against her, making it so she had no room to fight back. He choked her to the point where she couldn't see clearly and she couldn't speak or even scream. She felt his other hand touching her chest then gliding down to between her legs. He ended up removing that hand so he could press his lower half against her. She knew he wasn't bluffing about any of it. He was more than capable of taking Merle's head and putting it in that tank. He was also more than capable of having his way with her right here if he wanted. Just when she was about to pass out from him choking her, he loosened his grip, making her gasp and cough for air. His hand was still around her throat in case he needed to repeat himself, so she couldn't escape him.
"Now tell me," He said, "Do you understand?"
Suzy held in her tears and nodded her head to say yes since she couldn't speak. Not only was it from him strangling her, but it was also because she felt too afraid to say another word.
"Good girl," He smiled in removed his hand from her throat after that, "Go on. Get some rest. You've had a long day. Go on."
She kept her head down and left that place as fast as she could. She couldn't believe he was letting her go just like that, like nothing even happened. She ran straight to her own place to once again hide in her room. She locked her front door then locked her bedroom door once she was inside. She sank to the floor, finally letting herself break down in tears she had been holding in since the slaughter she witnessed. When she realized the Governor was a monster, she didn't realize just how evil he could really be. He showed her what he was truly capable of. He murdered and kept trophies to gawk at. He violated her like it was nothing. She curled up into a ball and cried until her eyes puffed up so bad she could barely see.
Was this what the end of the world made people do? This was what it created? It wasn't just the dead she had to fear, it was those still living. She knew that now. She had gotten so caught up in the world of fighting the dead, she forgot what people could do too. She cried on her floor until she fell asleep. When she slept, she only had nightmares of the tanks and seeing not only Merle's head, but hers as well. The Governor was evil, and she wanted nothing more than to leave Woodbury forever. But he made it clear she couldn't leave ever again and he'd make sure of it. She didn't know how to escape anymore. She was a prisoner in this place now. There wasn't any hope of getting out now. That was her fate, especially if it meant keeping someone else alive.
Woodbury was no longer a sanctuary...It was hell...