Out of the Woods (The Walking Dead)

Awakening:

Merle was doing the usual when he was by himself during the day. He kicked whatever woman was in his room right out, he went to work out in the little area he made in his place, ate, then went to chill in the library if there wasn't a run to go on. The library wasn't something they had to create when the town was brought together, it was one that was already there, so it had loads of books to keep everyone busy. He liked keeping to the back so no one would bother him. No one expected to find him there because of the jokes everyone made about him being a redneck and probably didn't even know how to read. He would see Suzy come in from time to time, but he never tried making any conversation with her in there. He liked this place being his own little private dwelling where no one could judge him.

Once he felt like he had enough reading, he looked at the time. It was getting close to his shift, so he decided to leave the library and head down to the main wall. The minute he was out walking down the street, he was immediately met with Martinez.

"Hey," Martinez said, "You seen Suzy around?"

"No," Merle replied and kept walking.

"You sure? I figured we should be keeping a closer eye on her to make sure she's okay, you know?"

"What? To make sure she don't run away again? 'Course that's all you're thinkin' about," Merle snapped, "Go ask someone else. You won't catch me spyin' on her."

"I'm not saying we spy on her. I don't want that." Martinez replied, "All I'm sayin' is that last night had her pretty shaken up. She could use the moral support."

Merle just scoffed in reply and kept walking. His shift wasn't meant to start yet, so it wouldn't hurt to go back into his apartment to get a couple of things, right? And he hated that Martinez wasn't wrong. The night before really did have Suzy in a bad place.

"Damn," He muttered to himself, knowing full well he was going back into the building not to go to his place, but to go to hers. He went up the stairs and went straight to her door to start banging on it. "Open up, Suzy. I know you're in there."

"Go away." He heard her say behind the door. He couldn't put his finger on it, but she didn't sound right. Her voice sounded all cracked and raspy.

"Have you been cryin' in there again?" He asked. That had to be why she sounded like that. Did the raid at the camp bother her that much? He knew she shouldn't have been out there with them. He knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. Not to mention the fact that the Governor didn't let her leave without making sure she killed at least one.

"I said...Go away." From the tone of her voice, he knew he was right about the crying thing.

"Open the door right now." He commanded. Why did she have to keep being like this? One thing happens and she completely loses her shit. Why couldn't she be more like him? "You hearin' me, girl? Open this door right now before I kick it down."

He heard her crying on the other side of the door. She didn't answer, but she reluctantly unlocked the door for him to come inside. He opened the door himself and stepped in, already seeing her going to sit down on her couch with her back towards him.

"I know you're mad about me bringin' ya back, but it's what had to get done." Merle said, "You would'a died if I hadn't."

Suzy sniffled, "Maybe I should've."

"Why would you say that?" He gasped, anger peeking into his tone. He stepped closer, seeing she was curled up into a ball on the couch with her head down in between her knees. He stepped around so he was now in front of her, "Huh? Why would you say that? You know how hard it was tellin' ya I didn't wanna see you dyin' on me? It was real hard. So why would you ever say somethin' like that to me?"

She didn't respond, she only cried harder into her knees which annoyed him.

"Don't gimme that shit." He sat on the couch across from her and tapped her shoulder with his blade hand, "Use your damn words, honey."

"Because if I died then at least I wouldn't have to be in this place anymore!" Suzy raised her voice a little, making her start coughing. Once she calmed herself and took a breath, she quieted down. He heard her say in an annoyed tone, "Now go away."

"Look me in the eye and tell me that."

She lifted her head and wiped her black hair from her face then wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Go away," She snapped with as much attitude as she could. Little did she know, her attitude no longer phased him. That was when he noticed something. His left hand reached for her towards her neck, but she smacked it away.

"Darlin', you let me now if you know what's good for ya." He warned. He moved some of her hair out of the way to see her neck. There were five red and blue finger marks on her throat, all from someone's hand being there. That was why she sounded so funny. She could see the anger growing in his eyes to the point where he stood up ready to hit something.

"Who touched ya?" He said, pointing his finger at her, "Tell me right now. Who did it?"

All she did was shake her head and put her head back between her knees. Maybe that was better. He couldn't take looking at the bruises. Seeing them made him want to do terrible things to whoever did it.

"Tell me. I'll kill him." Merle spat, "Was it Martinez? That son of a bitch, I'll-"

"It wasn't him," Suzy lifted her head to reply, "And what does it matter? It's done, okay?"

"No, it ain't! Not 'till I kill the lil' asshole who did it. Did they do anythin' else to ya?"

Suzy remembered the Governor's hands on her...The way he pressed his body against her...The words he threatened her with...

"No." She said, but he knew right away she was lying. It suddenly clicked in his head. She saw his single fist tighten.

"It was him, wasn't it?" She knew who he was talking about now. Him...Her silence was the only answer he needed.

"I'm gonna kill him," Merle nodded, making his way to the door, "That sick fuck-"

"Merle, no!" Suzy's hoarse voice cracked. She jumped up from the couch and ran past him to shut the door and put her back against it to block him, "Stop! You don't understand-"

"I understand enough. He could'a killed ya! Now get outta my way."

"No," She cried, "You're right, he could've killed me. I thought he was going to. But he didn't. He told me if I tried running away again-he-he would kill you and take off your head! You can't do this...He'll kill you first. You didn't see it...He-He showed me-"

She couldn't even finish her sentence. When she thought about those heads all staring at her, she felt bile rise in her throat. Envisioning Merle's joining them made it so much worse. She broke down crying right in front of him and he couldn't blame her. He seemed to calm down a bit, even though he still wanted nothing more than to kill the Governor right there and now.

"I can't let that happen to you." She said through her tears. "I saw it...I-"

"Come here," He used his hand to put it behind her head and pull her into his chest. She cried against his white wife-beater as he pet her hair to soothe her. What was he supposed to do now if he couldn't kill the Governor? As she continued crying into his chest with her arms wrapped tightly around him, he thought of a plan.

"We're gettin' outta here. You and me, girl." He said, making her crying soften.

"What did you say?" She asked.

"I don't know how or when, but we're gonna." He said, "We're gonna get outta here first chance we get."

Suzy lifted her head to look up into his eyes, "You would do that?"

"Hell yeah," He smiled that usual cocky grin of his, lifting her spirits a little. She remembered a time when it annoyed her. She couldn't imagine that being the case now. "For now, Imma do what I can to make it so the Governor would never suspect. Which means I gotta do whatever he wants me to do, even if I don't like it. When the time comes, we'll go so far so quick, he won't know what hit him."

"I thought you liked this place. You would leave a clean roof over your head?"

"Hell, I'd do it any day." Merle chuckled, "I'll teach ya how to survive off the land, city girl. We don't need no roof." She figured that kind of lifestyle was something he was used to, "But for now, I'll take what I can get. And you, you're stayin' with me from now on."

"What like-me staying in your place?"

"Yup. Gotta keep my eye on ya and make sure you're safe. You don't do good on your own. And now that I think about it, I don't either." He then scooped her up to carry her out and go next door to his place, "Come on, darlin'."

"Merle, please." Suzy rolled her eyes at him carrying her to his place next door, "I really don't think this is necessary-"

"Shut it." He said, continuing his act of carrying her into his home and putting her down on the couch. "I'll get your stuff."

"Merle-" He immediately walked out, not letting her finish her sentence.

He clearly wasn't going to take no for an answer here. After everything she had been through within the past 24 hours, he felt like this was the least he could do to feel like he could actually fix it. There was also the looming thought of changing his mind and going to the Governor's place and kicking the ever living shit out of him until he begged for mercy. Then there was his other thought of skipping all that and just putting a bullet in the Governor's lying, manipulating mouth. In order to keep himself busy so he wouldn't go do either of those things, he moved Suzy's stuff into his, making multiple trips while she sat on his couch. She kept telling him she could help or do it herself, but his responses were either "zip it" and/or "let me finish".

She didn't understand why what the Governor did bothered him so much. There was something about violence towards women and children that got under Merle's skin in such a different way than anything else. It made him remember his deadbeat dad. Jackass. Juvie was a better home than that stupid ass wooded trailer was. Soon as he was able to, he left that place and buried any feelings he had about that asshole in drugs, alcohol, fights, women, and more drugs. He had to leave for his dad's own sake. He had to because he knew he would kill the bastard if he stayed in that horrible place another day.

Suzy could tell Merle was in his "weird area". She had felt the rage and determination in his voice when he said he was going to kill the Governor for what he did to her. He had to keep himself busy to cool himself down. She hated feeling so useless and pathetic. She wanted to tell him again about how she could move her own stuff, but she refrained from doing so. She guessed it was best to let him be for now. She wasn't used to seeing this kind of upset behavior from Merle. She had seen playful-teasing-mad, offended-by-a-comment-someone-made-about-him-mad, and I-don't-wanna-talk-about-my-feelings-kind-of-mad. This seemed like it was a combination of that last one mixed with genuine anger/discomfort. She didn't think he cared so much.

He successfully transferred Suzy's clothes, hygiene products, bedding, and food she had stored in her cabinets. He also moved any books she had into his living room space to add to his own personal growing library shelf. She didn't think he was into reading. He never failed to surprise her.

"You can take the bed for right now, 'till I figure somethin' else out," She wanted to let out a breath of relief when Merle finally said something. She wasn't sure if she could take the silence anymore, since Merle wasn't the silence type.

"Merle, I can't take your bed from you too." Suzy sighed, but Merle was having none of it.

"Don't-" He put his hand up to stop her, "Don't worry about it. I ain't takin' no for an answer, so deal with it, girl. Like I said, I'll figure somethin' else out. In the meantime, you stay in there. Ain't havin' ya squattin' on my couch. Besides, gives me more time to sit and watch TV while I get shit faced."

She couldn't help but let out a little laugh. It was brief, but it was enough to soothe his mind.

"Thanks, Merle." She said, trying to sound as sincere as she could, "Really. I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm saying it anyway. Thanks. What would I do without you?"

"Shrivel up and die." He scoffed.

That had her laughing more since she knew he meant it as a joke. This time, hearing her laughter and seeing that smile of hers was able to lift his own spirits while he poured himself some whiskey. He laughed with her, deciding to pour another glass just for her, even though he knew she hated the stuff. He handed the whiskey glass to her, and she took a sip. She immediately made a disgusted face and handed it back to him, making him laugh even harder. She applauded him when he drank both glasses back to back all the way down. They spent the rest of the day together, Merle cancelling his shift at the gate since he no longer had any interest in watching the wall. He realized there was something more important for him to do. His job was to keep that joy in Suzy's face. Merle pulled out a bottle of vodka so they could get shit faced in the middle of the afternoon. Due to his drunkenness, he told her a bunch of stories about his life before. All the stories were about him getting arrested, most of it being him getting into brawls with other guys over dumb shit.

Suzy couldn't help but realize in that moment that something clicked in her brain. She originally told him that she wanted to start being honest with herself. She had told him he was important to her. He helped her not only survive, but also live. She knew for a while, but now she was being honest with herself. Merle wasn't only her best friend, but he was the love of her life too. It didn't matter who he was before, it didn't matter that he was older, at least not to her. She wanted nothing more than to come clean about it all, but even in a drunken state, she kept her lips sealed. She had to promise herself to not try pursuing him again unless he pursued her first. She already tried and failed more than once and it put their relationship in rocky territory each time. She had to give him time before he could even think about something like that.

What would she do without having met Merle Dixon? He was right, she would've been dead a long time ago...

A few days passed before Suzy finally felt ready to try going back to watching the wall. According to the Governor's new rules, she was no longer allowed on any nighttime watches under any circumstances. Anyone else who worked the wall was made aware of this rule, including Martinez. And when they went over the wall to get rid of the walker bodies, she was to be supervised by Shumpert or Crowley the entire time like a prisoner. Every time she saw Martinez anywhere around Woodbury, she did her best to avoid him. Merle told her that he was the first person to barge into the Governor's office to tell him she had run off. She had enough of Martinez and him telling the Governor things about her. In a way, she couldn't help but sort of blame Martinez for the Governor's weird behavior around her and what he eventually did. She knew he didn't mean any harm, but it didn't matter. Martinez wasn't someone she could trust anymore.

"Hey," Martinez approached her as she walked down to the main gate. She kept her eyes straight ahead and didn't say a word to him. She wanted him to feel the cold shoulder as much as humanly possible. She heard him catching up behind her.

"Hey," He repeated, reaching out to grab her shoulder, "Can you tell me why you're avoiding me?"

That question made her stop in her tracks. She turned and looked at him with an intensely angry look in her eye, as if asking how he could dare ask that question. That look made him raise his hands in surrender and take a step back.

"Look, I'm sorry." Martinez said, "I'm sorry I told the Governor about you running away. And about your doubts. And about what happened to your family. None of it was my place. The last thing I wanna do is screw things up with you. But it looks like I've already done that."

"Yeah. You did. You gonna go tell your precious Governor about this conversation too?" Suzy replied, not hiding the hurt in her voice, "Go ahead. Seems to be all you're good at."

"Suzy-" Martinez grabbed her shoulder again when she went to walk away, "I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean to betray your trust like that. I was just tryin' to help."

"Well, you did." She said. "So you can forget about me speaking to you again."

She shoved Martinez's hand off of her shoulder so she could get to her training shift at the main wall. This teen, who came to Woodbury a month ago. He begged and begged the Governor for a chance to become a Woodburian soldier. The Governor finally said yes to have him train at the wall and start taking half of Suzy's nighttime shifts that she was no longer allowed to do. This must've been some kind of sick joke. Train the kid who's taking the job stolen from you.

She got the main wall and climbed up the ladder to see the kid already at his post with his own gun. He was more than thrilled to be there, she could tell by the grin on his face.

"Hey, Suzy!" He waved when she reached the top to join him.

"Hey, Gargulio." She nodded. "Anything in particular you wanna go over today?"

"Like?"

"I don't know. You got any questions? Anything Crowley and Merle didn't show you yet?"

"Not sure, but Merle's a good teacher though." Gargulio laughed, "Even if he can't say my name right."

"Right? I don't think he can say it at all." Suzy giggled, remembering Merle's annoyance when she first met the kid. "What kind of fucking name is that?" and "Fuck it, Imma just call him Neil". A growl broke Suzy from the memories. Looking ahead, she saw two dead ones approaching the wall.

"Biters." Gargulio gasped, pointing his gun to shoot.

"Easy," Suzy stopped him. "Steady the gun and calm down. You need to be calm to aim right."

"Okay." Gargulio nodded.

"And put a slight bend on the elbows, you don't want them locked when you pull the trigger."

"Got it." Gargulio said and did as she told him to do. With her instruction, he took out both biters one after the other on the first try. The success made him cheer, "Nice! That is how it's done! They were right when they said you're the best shot."

"They?" Suzy asked.

"Yeah, you know. Everyone." Gargulio grinned, "Everyone who watches the wall says you're the best shot in Woodbury. Especially the Governor."

"Really." Suzy said, not really meaning it as a question. Any mention of the Governor made bile rise in her throat. He hadn't spoken to her since the incident, but that didn't mean it didn't come to her mind every time she saw him or someone mentioned him. The heads... No. Don't think about that right now...

"Yeah. Man, I'd kill to get in the Governor's good graces like that." She wasn't sure if he meant that literally or not, but it didn't stop her from feeling even more uneasy.

"I wouldn't say I'm in his good graces." She said, "At least not anymore."

"Oh yeah," He pointed at her, "You jumped the wall. That was pretty sick. Can't think why you'd wanna leave though. The Governor takes real good care of this place."

"Yeah." She nodded, lying through her teeth, putting on a fake smile, "He does."

Suzy knew she wouldn't be able to convincingly lie in agreeance with this kid. He practically worshiped the ground the Governor walked on. She knew she was going to have to make sure she told Merle that this kid couldn't be trusted. They would have to make sure they watched what they said around him. Then again, they had to do that with everyone in Woodbury. There was no telling who was going to run straight to the Governor the minute after one of them said something against the Governor or Woodbury. "When the time comes, we'll go so far so quick, he won't know what hit him." With winter on the horizon, she just hoped that day was sooner rather than later. Little did she know what was about to come their way.

"Hey, kid-" Suzy heard a voice from below. She turned around to see, once again, Martinez gesturing for her to come down. He looked over at Gargulio, "Merle wants to see you."

"Aww, cool!" Gargulio's face gleamed with excitement as he climbed down, "See you later, Suzy!"

Suzy didn't respond, knowing exactly what Martinez was doing. When he climbed up to take Gargulio's place, her suspicions were confirmed.

"What, did the Governor send you over to watch me?" She rolled her eyes at him, "Or are you here to apologize to me again?"

"The latter." Martinez replied. He rubbed the back of his neck shyly.

"You can save it then." She said.

"I really am sorry, Suzy." He said. She could hear the sincerity in his voice, "The last thing I wanna see is you being treated like a prisoner. If I had known, I wouldn't have told Governor about it. I was worried you would die out there. I didn't know what else to do."

Despite his sincerity, she still knew she couldn't tell him about what she really thought of Woodbury; How it was a prison in disguise and the leader was a fascist. He had already told the Governor enough. So what else was she supposed to say?

"Sorry I hurt your feelings," She said, not even looking at him. It felt too awkward to do so.

"It's not my feelings I'm worried about." He replied.

"Why are you worried about my feelings?" She scoffed.

"You know," He said, "You and Merle livin' together now? Everyone knows."

"It's not like it's a secret."

"I'm just sayin'," He said, "I've seen how he is, we all have. A guy like that is only looking for one thing. Especially if he doesn't see you as like a daughter or somethin'."

"You saying he's too old for me or something?" She almost smirked.

"That, and he'll do anything to take advantage of women. I just want you to be safe."

She couldn't hold back a small laugh that time. She looked him in the eye for the first time since he came up to the post.

"You're wrong." She said. She decided to leave it at that and climb down from the main gate post. Perhaps she would've thought the same thing months ago when she first met him. But since then, she realized he was nothing like what Martinez wanted to see him as.

Merle had told her once that his younger brother, Daryl, was the soft one. Daryl was more emotional, therefore more of the relationship type despite his awkwardness or seemingly uninterested vibe around women. She didn't know about any of that because she didn't know Daryl. But she knew Merle. She knew he wasn't proud of the person he was before, and none of those mistakes he made then defined him. He seemed to think they did, though. Maybe that's why he was always so angry. He was the most obnoxious, outspoken, blunt, and funny person she had ever met in her life.

When he said if things were still how they were, she wouldn't give a second look at someone like him. Sure, maybe she wouldn't have. Or maybe, just maybe, things would've happened that brought them together anyway. Maybe it didn't matter that the world ended.

She believed they would've met in the other life too…