"Not working today ?" he asked taking a full Fork into his mouth, chewing contentedly.
he has no idea how beautiful he is... every expression he arbor,every hand gesture, every averted look or a tiny smile or even when his face is expressionless ,when he is lost in his thoughts ,looking at the past ,or the future maybe!,
He has no idea about the amplitude of what I feel when he does small things like that, how smart he is even though he always said that Steve was the intellect one between the two of them .those eyes so bright and caring yet promising trouble like you only dare to dream about?
how kind and thoughtful he can be with people ,even though he's persona is quite frightening with his rebellious looks and metal arm.
And how loving bucky is with the people he cares about...
lost in my thoughts while listening to him talking, drinking coffee and smiling awkwardly and trying to maintain appearances , that am listening to every syllable he says, just so that I wouldn't get caught day dreaming…
Since when have I started to notice those small things about him?I have no idea.
God somebody please take those pink lenses of my eyes!
" isn't that right?" he asked suddenly
let's face it how can anyone not get lost while looking at him?
Not knowing what to do, just lowered my eyes to my coffee and said the truth
"Sorry buck!I got lost for a minute" I said smiling
"Really! lost in what?" he asked while getting his face waaay to close to mine and just looking right through me.
Trying not to look at those blues, I smiled not amusingly but just not to blush .he kept looking intensively , eyes softening after a while.
Then the corners of his lips started to move upwards, given him that murderous smile and said with the sweetest voice I've ever heard.
"a penny for your thoughts!"
oh my god what the hell Barnes?
Now my blushing was down to my neck !oh hell why does he have this much power over me without doing bloody nothing?
Bucky Barnes does not need to know what is going on in my head, hell not!
"I.. I just.., I'm " I mumbled incoherently fidgeting with my mug and food plate trying to ..just do something with my hands ...fuck it!am smoked.
Starting to get up …
"hey" he stops me. "Doll its alright I was joking"then" Unless you were thinking about something fun!" he added smirking knowingly.
Shit, I'm busted. I blushed even worse, with him looking like he just goes out of bed, well anyway he did!
and his hand on mine and his face so close to mine shit I I want to kiss those Rosy lips so bad and to hell with the consequences.
Wait a minute!... is he!?..
his eyes kept going from my eyes to my lips and back again. A spark in those icy blues. was he leaning in? my heart!
Bloody fool! get your head out of the gutter. It's probably just my imagination.
" morning guys!" Said Steve from the kitchen door all sleepy and adorable, our heads snapped to his direction and well, you can guess what happened.
" Am I interrupting something?" Steve asked smiling to his ears like the little shit that he is wiggling his eyebrows knowingly.oh you prick!
Following his gaze we noticed that Bucky's hands were still on mine, so we both retrieved our hands so fast!, with Bucky's smiling amusingly and me blushing even more.
" morning punk,"Backy said, "want some coffee?"
"Thanks, jerk! yes, I do" he replied nothing happened.
" Moon, are you going to be ok? I mean didn't you have this presentation early this morning!"
Presentation what presentation? what time is it?
" Oh, shit "I barked after checking my watch.
"Fuck I'm going to be late "I sprinted to the couch where I put my bag and paper holder before having my coffee.
" You kiss your mother with that mouth" Bucky joked.
" fuck you, Barnes". I replied heading to the door.
" you wish! little scorpion" suddenly came the reply close to me,oh fucking hell how I wished that!
I turned to check why was his voice so close! And he was right behind me grabbing the front door and smiling like it was Christmas morning.
And it didn't stop there, his face was closing in even more, with it, my heart rate and he just popped a kiss on my cheek and said
" Have a nice day doll"
"Th...thanks!" I mumble floating out of the apartment.
Hey its going to be a good day.
"Nice"
" Oh zip it jerk! if it wasn't for you I would have kissed her already."
He took his place next to Steve facing his meal.
steve was going through his cereals chewing loudly and grinning like a kid.
"I bet you would have" Steve added
" She's going to be okay right?" I asked worried about her.
" Yeah I think she's alright, she can make it with her driving "Steve added
"Good," Bucky replied relieved.
"So are you up to for today?" Steve asked
"I got a meeting with Natasha, she said she can help me find a job that goes with my skill set "
" Are you sure you're okay working with her? you know it's kind of violent what she does, is it okay with your ...you know..!" he added concerned
" I'm okay Steve, I need to try it to know, maybe it won't work but I need to know, don't worry buddy I'm okay"
"Ok, good luck buddy, I have to run, come to the gallery when you finish with her okay"
"Okay see you at 3"
It was not a good day!..well it's started good but then it kind of escalated quickly!
After I got home, an empty home at the moment !
Been fantasizing about taking a bath, a very very hot bath!
I can take my time in the bathtub, without having a blonde head Popping every now and then to try and get me out of the bathroom, because he feels lonely cuz I've been in there for a while, or that he had a bad day and wanted to talk about it .
so I stripped and in record time, got into the hot water, just RIGHT! The warm water was a blessing for my sore muscles.
it felt heavenly perfect, after this morning's battle in the kitchen between my body and my heart for the sanity of my mind.
and that meeting that seemed to go on forever. the presentation was a bit stressful but in the end, it went well and my project was accepted.
I got out of the bathtub after a good twenty minutes soaking in the wrinkling warmth, all rosy cheeks and smoking skin. got dressed in my comfy attire which was mainly cotton shorts and one size too big sweatshirt .hair dried and done in a bun above my head and a hot cup of coffee ready to go next to my laptop, and finally a warm blanket on the living room couch for some writing time since forever.
with the empty quarters, I could finally give time to my very neglected work.
I had a storyboard to do.
Lost in my thoughts I was brought to reality by the sound of keys opening the front door. letting my roommates in, laughing, with exhaustion all over their features.
" Hey, guys " turning on the couch to face them "you're later than usual what's up ?"I asked
" got held up at work, last minute paperwork to do "replied Steve moving to the other end of the couch, grabbing my legs up and making himself comfortable by readjusting my legs over his lap. they look beat !
"You look beat" I commented
"Tell me about it !" he sighed
I tried to see Bucky mirroring his best friend on the other couch chair, letting his man bun lose.
"GOD!...my head hurts, my scalp hurts, even my hair hurts !" he deflated
"yeah !having a tight ponytail all day will give you that "I sympathized knowingly
and now he was pouting while he massaged his head with his fingers, slowly, getting through those silky strands .and what I would give to be able to do that!
Steve noticed my rêverie apparently, which explained him squeezing my foot!
"You're drooling again Moon" his eyes screamed at me !cracking a side smile
"I know !shut up "I replied with mine let me. have my moments you punk!
"so did you guys eat ?" I offered to change the subject, getting on my feet and heading to the kitchen to get dinner ready.
" No "replied Bucky
"I'm starving!" said Steve
"okay! So, go change. both of you, dinner will be ready in 20 minutes ."
"you sure you want to cook ?" he asked back
"okay boss" Steve at the same time
I smiled and headed to the kitchen.
Ok! So by fully embracing the fact that I was no chef!
I settled for a simple recipe, a chicken soup, and a salad.
I got a sight of Bucky out in his bedroom door and heading for the couch
"Hey Moon you need some help?" asked Bucky
" I've got it BUCK!" Steve replied, getting into the kitchen with his sleeves already up.
"okay!" said Bucky gripping the remote control and literally falling on the couch
"let us have the cooking done for once," I added
" Alright !" said Steve while clapping his hand
" what should I do?"
"Get the table set, and wash the vegetables, I'm handling the soup. You do the salad" I instructed him
"okay chef !" replying already next to the sink.
I took a last glance at the real chef, he was sitting comfortably where I was just moments ago .with the blanket on his lap, my laptop to his side, and the remote in his hand.
he looked really tired .and he seemed restless.
"what's up with Buck?" I ask Steve when he was next to me.
"He is feeling a bit under the weather today, I think he's not sleeping lately !" he said with a concerned look in his eyes.
he really seems so out of it, his eyes glued to the TV but it was clear that his mind wasn't there.
it's been over a month since he's been living with us and I get to know what a tired Bucky looks like, this one is something else.
he seemed out of place, lost, closing on himself, seeking warmth and comfort.
And seeing him like that made me three times more protective of him, I hated seeing him like that !which pushed me to try to do anything in my power to make him better.
I hated not being able to do anything about it, while getting to the chicken I kept throwing glances at the boy on the couch, recognizing the symptoms in an away.
something is wrong on a deeper level not physical but deeper than that.
he is in a state of needing comfort food. Do we have ice cream?
I go to the fridge to check yes! so ice cream for dessert.
"Where was he today," I ask Steve
"on a job interview with Natasha," Steve applied
oh God! Natasha was a private detective so she could probably get him a job where he can use his skill was logical !trying to have him in the hive, he was fierce!
but something must have happened!
" Steve! you told me that Becky has PTSD, do you think working in a violent environment will help him? and I thought you were smarter!" I said ironically
"Oh trust me! I tried to talk to him out of it, he doesn't listen, he thinks he's indestructible!"
" but look at him now! he's so stubborn, he cannot work this out he needs something completely different from what he's used to, something calm, something with a routine."
I finished looking at Bucky, spread on the couch, lost to the world
"I will talk to him about it, it okay! don't worry I got this" i finished
10 minutes later, dinner was ready, we ate and the boys making jokes and nagging me about my cooking skills
" it's good Moon, just joking!" said Steve "but let Bucky do it as long as he can. okay!"
" thanks, Stevie! that is so nice of you to tell me.! I hate you sometimes you know that" I replied throw in my napkin at him "you were eating it for the past four years through"
Becky was laughing at this and that was a beautiful sound to hear.
"You shut up, it's not funny!" I Scolded him
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! "he laughed "Steve ...it's good, give her some credit, she did a great job"
" Congratulations Stevie," I said directly "you will do the dishes tonight "
"no!" he whined
"hahaha suck it !jerk "Bucky barked laughing at us both
Steve looks at me at in that moment and like magic, I understood what he was thinking "you made him laugh "as I winked at him.
Notes:
I WOULD BE SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS...
show some love!