"Trust me you'll love it," said Tom, He was hugging her now, Can't he keep his damn hands to himself for one second!
Since he came into this place, that British invasion was constantly glued to her, and what the fuck was that all about? touches and smiles and secrets whispered into her ears and all, who acts like that with their friend?!
Bucky couldn't concentrate on the conversation with Nat and the others after pouring them tea. All he wanted was to get to bed! forget sleeping, but just be with his damn self and stop acting all sunshiny. But...but his mind and his eyes couldn't leave the kitchen.
It was his first time seeing her interact with anyone other than him or Steve or Nat for longer than five minutes.
so this chatty and giggly person was a new version of his Moo..f..friend! his friend.
he wouldn't say it bothered him that she was smiling...but what?!
She wasn't smiling at you…
Noticing the looks from the living room, Tom lingered a bit more with the kiss, and finished his long fingers into the girl's dark locks, freeing her face from them, over her ear.
He didn't miss Bucky's eyes on them.
"It's gonna be so much fun!" he whispered to her only and getting back to his task
she huffed an amusing smile and followed suit.
Ok! Bucky was Not Ok with that!
Eyes vacant, lost in his mind, sad...he was sad, and something else...not just sadness, something more powerful and filthy and soul-consuming.
Jealous!.
Bucky Barnes was jealous.
Why on earth was he even jealous?
It's not like she was your girlfriend.
But for some reason, when she hugged this 'Loki guy ', Bucky saw red.
Look at her with him, I bet he could make her smile like that every day…
you only make her worry and Cry…
shut up!
I'm just stating the obvious!...you can't make her happy, so just let her be with someone who can.
But! she's..
what?! ... she sure as hell ain't yours..
"You Ok, Buck!?" Moon asked, lifting her head up a bit from her friend's lap to wave.
She was sitting next to Shin and the guy was across from them comfortably sitting crossed legs reading a book in the other set of the armed chairs where Natasha was sitting before, and Natasha was gone!?
When did she go?
When did they join them?
Was he out again?
" where is Nat?!" asked Bucky, clearing his throat and adjusting himself
" she left like ten minutes ago, Buck! " replied Steve looking at him questioningly
Bucky, dismissed with a nod and a false smile, sits up heading to the armchair next to the big window. His favorite spot in the whole apartment.
Just breathe!
it's gonna be over soon!
The evening resumed, it was fairly early still, but Bucky was out of it, they were talking amongst each other, he made it look like he was participating by commenting every once in a while, But all he wanted was to go to his room and bury himself in his damn bed and never go out again.
So do it! Just get p and fucking leave!
...But then, They would worry and they would wanna help, and then she...she will...
What! you gonna make her cry again!
"Shin, are you gonna keep playing with my hair like that or let me show you how to braid this properly?" Moon asked, staring up at the girl whom she was currently laid on..
"As if you're not liking it so far! "She remarked, "But Okay!" The girl replied
"I know, but come on!...we need someone though, I can't do it on you, you would not see how it's done," she remarked pensively
"Well, you can use me!" offered Tom suddenly looking at them smirking, the book forgotten.
'' Really!? If I remember correctly, the last time she tried to do your hair, she ended up hands bound for an hour and a half with the same ribbons she wanted to try on you!" Shin disclosed!
Moon burst out laughing " ha! Good times!" and was she blushing or was it just hot in here!?
Bucky snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of her exuberance.
"Well, " added Tom, " It sure has been years since that god awful time, you didn't leave me alone! I had to do something!" he smiled, was he fucking flirting with her?
"Yey! Perfect!" Moon chimed excitedly looking across the room to Tom.
"Come Here, darling! And sit on the floor." she pats the ground. " You can bring your book, I just need your head! ehehe'' she snickered!." ugh! It's been too long, my lovelies!" she chorused while making grabby gestures with her fingers!
" Did you just talk to my hair?" sighed Tom, complying and sitting down, facing her..
"Turn around silly," she says, and once he does, Moon picks up some of his hair.
He seemed completely unmoved by the girly scene, the man, Tom or Loki. Whatever his name was! was as at ease as someone familiar with this kind of situation can be. From how they were talking, this had been done numerous times before!
" Please don't make me regret it, love!" He pleaded
Shin sighed, understanding the look on Tom's face, but still amused by the whole outcome.
Bucky kept looking at them And...and he wanted to snip the man's hair in his sleep.
Steve was taking the whole scene smiling like a kid at a circus, altering between everyone's faces. The trio was so up to something, Bucky looked ready for battle and he should feel sorry for him, but he knew things needed to change, and Having Tom here, would do just that.
" So baby, basically what you do is you pick up this part, and" her voice faded out of Bucky's hearing. Because…
Because now that man closed his eyes shortly after her fingers buried themselves in his scalp, and exhaled softly to take every touch in as if it felt exquisitely good...
...And he was hundred percent convinced that It felt as good as he was looking right now because Bucky still remembers how good it felt to have her hands working through his hair from his memories.
How peaceful Bucky felt when he had that protective hand ruffling his hair with familiarity and care. Whether helping soothes his demons or getting his attention for something or just messing around and just being a brat. Because he discovered her thing for long hair just a few days after living with them...
He began to wonder how it would feel to run his hands through her hair for once. He never had the chance to do it.
But something is eating him up right now more. Why...Why didn't she ask Him instead of that British onslaught, he had long hair too.
"And then it's done! Okay, you try it on me." she added " God you look so cute Lokitty! She laughs again with a new nickname, nudging his shoulder.
Peachy! Another nickname!
"What? Oh come on! Been a while since you've used that nickname!" He mutters " and you were so high that day that I couldn't say a word about it! But now..." and moves to the side. '"still humiliating"!
Lo-TOM! Stood up and sat right next to Moon and her friend on the couch, hands going to her hair all of a sudden, trying to figure out the braid with shin. Bucky stares at him and her as she giggles at their failed attempts.
They were laughing again, due to what exactly! Bucky seriously didn't care to know, he was just done, he was dead tired, so out of this goddamn night to be just over and the new revelation he just had about him being jealous over a damn friend was the fucking cherry on top.
But not just that, something else too made itself obvious…. He couldn't dismiss it nor take it lightly, it was heavy and crushing…
Moon could have a life and not have him in it, no changes to it, if he lived or died, Nothing will ever disturb their existence… What did he bring her? Only pain and suffering and sleepless nights and fights over stupid shit?!
She had friends who loved her, family…
What did he have?
They are better without you …. If you jump off the window right now, nothing will change for them…. Sure, they'll be sad for a while… but then what….
You are nothing to them, just a body to take care of, another weight to bother with!
Just accept it…. She's better without you.
-'' We should go out!" offered Tom, "it's still early and I wanna see the city on a winter night walk!" he added, looking at Moon, hand going to her hair " and you promised to show me that place with the lights and the funny statue"
- "Oh! you're right, I never got to do that!" she replied surprised by the sudden request!
-" Without me, I'm barely holding up!" replied Shin," and you're not going anywhere!" she affirmed looking at steve
-" yes mam!" he replied, holding her closer. smiling like a kid on Christmas!
Tom looked at Moon and Bucky
I need to punch something, and hard!
Bucky stood up abruptly
-" Sorry, I .. I have work to finish!" he replied " I need to get some rest too" he added looking older suddenly. His jaw clenching every now and metal plates readjusting.
" No pressure, mate," he looked at Moon" so, just you and me then?"
" Actually, hon, can we leave it for tomorrow? I kind of still have to finish these pages I have to submit soon, and it's freezing outside!"
" I understand, darling, " he replied, smiling " let me know when you're off work, I can come and meet you somewhere!" hand still playing with the tip of her hair
"I'd love that!" she replied, gingerly checking Bucky, who seemed to be breathing faster all of a sudden. He noticed her worried eyes, her silent questions!
Still worrying over your sorry ass!
-" Good night everyone" Bucky excused himself and left. heading to his room. Glancing at everyone to not be rude. Everyone replied in their own way.
-"' Night Buck!" she answered, a shy and...sad smile Bucky registered on her face. maybe hoping he would sleep, but certainly knowing the outcome which would unfold without missing a beat.
What he didn't catch was the victorious smirk Tom gave her and the blushing of her cheeks. With the annoying sounds and rolling of eyes from Shin and steve.
Bucky ended up in his room, punching mercilessly at his poor pillow who did nothing at all in this scenario, obviously keeping himself in so that he wouldn't end up saying or doing something he would regret later.
"what are you doing?!" asked Moon after Bucky left, Tom seemed not know what she was referring to
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
" like hell you don't!" shine cut in "steve, honey, could you give us a minute! I'll be right back" looking back at the other two " you and you...follow me!" she ordered. then follow her back to Moon's bedroom.
-"can someone please explain to me what was going on back there!" asked Shin
-" what do you mean? asked Tom
Moon was silent
"oh come on! You!...volunteering to have your hair braided?"
"it's not like I never did!" he cut in
"yeah! only after she spends hours begging, you would give up! but you never offer!"
"Well, let's just say it was a means to an end!"
"I LIKE HIM! " Moon blurred out
They turn to look at her slowly, grasping what she just said
-" Apparently its either you want to eat him...or wanna adopt him" corrected Tom
-" I guess both !" she smiled "but seriously..I like him. As in LIKE! Maybe m-more than like?" she added, whispering the final words under her breath!
- " So that's what's going on!" whispered shin sitting down on her friend's bed!
" This explains your weird text the other day!"
Moon started blabbing, like the words needed to get out of her before she burst out
-"I like spending time with him, watching tv or talking or just being in the same room with him, I like the way he gets lost in his head and stops talking for a while without it being awkward you know," a blushing hopeful face looked at Shin, a face she didn't see in a long time
- "it's like we don't have to speak when we're together sometimes and that is so peaceful and new."
-" Dude, you are crushing on him that's all" came the reply
-" No, that's the thing... I thought so too but then, I asked myself, and I knew"
she trailed off and then continued!
-"You know that feeling of missing someone you didn't even know?!….that empty spot hanging open, wishing it to be finely closed and filled, but nothing helped!"
That feeling, that ache will start to shift, the unknown person will start to take shape and form, bright eyes, full lips, smirking …. " That unknown missing person will gradually, surely take form into that same person looking at me these days.…" she looked at Tom.
Moon trailed off, a faraway look on her smiling face, God damn it she really was far off! Thought Shin.
-" But then, I saw him at the party, and it's just...clicked!...The person was no longer unknown"
she smiled brightly yet not from happiness but from a whole other feeling which was closer to surrender and defeat at the same time!
They both kept looking at her, not knowing if to start reprimanding or just letting her finish!
They decided on the latter.
Tom sat on her desk chair, releasing the braid silently, and shine was looking at the floor...finally understanding it all.
-"I don't know!" she added "I don't wanna act on it, he doesn't need my shit on his plate too." she whispered more to herself " it's all in my head, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way anyways! I'm just Steve's new best friend who's stuck with them both!"
" Oh, I am pretty convinced by the opposite!" added tom
-"Are you sure Moon!?" asked Shin, finally saying something for the first time since she sat down.
Shin looked at her questioningly, already fearing and slightly expecting the answer.
-'' Baby!..." Moon started, closing onto Shin's hands over her lap and looking at her friend, " I would still follow him if he was Darth Moriarty, planning to rule the damn galaxy!" she laughed nervously ..." If he ever chose to keep me by his side, I'd take on every damn shit our relationship might bring us!" she chuckled and the stupidity of what she just said! " and That is so fucking scary that I don't even know what to do! I just want him in my life! in any way I can have him...whether is as a friend or as a...girlfriend, I just want to make him happy again"
She buried herself in her best friend's embrace seeking closeness and reassurance.
and it was delivered.
Shin's warm arms surrounded her shoulders silently, only Tom's vibrating voice took the stage!
"Hum!" he said,"I see ." But Moon, I need to state the obvious and be your objective eye... but it's the first time since I knew you that you have forgotten Halloween, it might be stupid, But because whatever you're going through with him was so intense that you completely zapped it! and this in a way is saying something, it's gonna be a hard road, living with someone with that much baggage will not be a picnic!"
-" But, Tom, he's worth it" finished Moon
- "then do bloody something about it!" added Tom. "I've never seen you this blushy and ughr! Before!, you like him GO for him you certainly don't need my help if you wanted it"
Flashes of old days mischief rolled back up in his mind, flirting and just having fun! No blushes and no doubts just action and fuck the consequences!
she just smiled, locked a kiss on her girl's forehead, freed herself from that lock, and headed out.
"I will"
-" Does steve know?" asked Tom again
-" I think he's Ok with it!" commented Moon
-"Alright! Amma head to bed, Tom, you staying here tonight?!" asked Shine
- "of course you're staying for the night! " Moon cut them " you will not step foot outside"
-" Alright then it's settled!" dismissed Shine, the girls didn't even let him reply!
-" I guess I'm staying then! I hope your sofa is comfortable!"
-"oh , it even fits for two!" she added blushing..
Tom Laughed. And Shin smiled proudly, "You sneaky little troublemaker!" jested Tom.
Bucky couldn't sleep like he predicted after Tom and Shin turned up to be spending the night. Well, he anticipated it, to be honest, Shin was home where Steve was, and the other one, He would never be left to go to a hotel by their relentless little tiny bullheaded girl. She was never meant to be inhospitable.
After checking with everyone, Moon asked Bucky as the third party in the house if it was oK FOR Tom to spend the night with them, he said she should do what she wanted, it was her house too, he couldn't object! for a minute there, Bucky feared that it meant for Tom to sleep in Moon's room, he dismissed the thought after seeing a bunch of sheets and a cover over the main couch
he can't say he wasn't relieved!
Everyone said their good night and headed for their respective rooms.
But he was daunted, having another episode would entail being the joke of the morning.
so he kept himself busy, ending up finishing next week's work faster than he expected!
going for coffee refills every couple of hours, silently, he was good at being silent, he mastered the art of sneaking in places...but he didn't like doing it in his home though…
hours passed, and morning came …
Bucky woke up on his desk; he must have dozed off for a couple of minutes there!…
After grounding himself up, he remembered the guests and braced himself for the morning after.
With him choosing not to sleep, he knew he didn't do something incriminating yesterday, no screams, no fights, and currently no one's hair was cut, so he should be calmer!
His thoughts were particularly dark and he despised it when it happened!
It drained him emotionally and physically… but he had to keep playing this charade! The one where he has to master the "OK" look! Weirdly enough, that hour of shut eyes was resting enough to start a new day.
Steve and his girlfriend were weirdly silent, I guess she was still jet-lagged for him to start anything. Poor Stevie!
Checking the clock! 8 o'clock! He should start on breakfast, but he needs a shower first.
getting up, he grabbed his towel and headed for the bathroom. Already taking his shirt off in the corridor.
To him his body looked like a Moon-landing gone wrong, with a meatball sub fusing his metal shoulder to his flesh, obviously, his scarring wasn't that bad, but to him, it was all he could see.
he couldn't remember where he got a lot of his scars, he's glad for that.
But he remembers the arm, he remembers when it was just gaping raw flesh.
Even with everything, he still couldn't forget the procedures he endured without any anesthesia, as if that wasn't bad enough, now he has ugly scarring and looks like he's part robot.
He's convinced that even his deadly god-like physique wasn't enough to compensate for the little raised pink and white parts of his skin. so yeah maybe he's a tiny bit insecure
He didn't try to hide his body per se, just casually avoided exposing himself to anyone, or as long as his scar was hidden under something, he didn't mind being shirtless…
Hell, he even knows what it did to his little roommate. Bucky smiled at the thought, for once, he didn't mind his look. she'd seen him shirtless countless times, but she didn't know the truth then…The fact that Bucky was NEVER shirtless around other people…
But he's seen her skin, he's seen the milky glowy canvas...he's seen shoulders and legs and pinky soft stomach, on that heavenly day...
A number of freckles and little marks from her clumsiness are 0.2% of what he's got going on on his back only, He smiled fondly, but then he realized he didn't bring a shirt, just two pairs of boxers and his smelly sweatshirt, he blames it on the lack of sleep but let's be honest, sometimes shit like this happens...
Anyway that's no problem because the main bathroom is close to his bedroom
So he resigned to come out, toweling his wet hair with his metal arm, holding his shirt and the extra black boxer, why bother with the shirt, it is not what he wanted to wear anyway.
Standing in his black boxer, thinking everyone was still asleep, just as he's about to begin heading for his room, hand on the knob a soft clunk, and the door opens!
His brain just went "oh God it must be Steve's girlfriend" and he was left there brainless. The knob is turning without his intent, and then a tiny, sleepy, towel-covered little thing is facing him, blushing all over after a minute of realization.
Behold, it's Moon! MoOn In towel! and she's just sitting there, what was she doing here, she had her own bathroom and why was she in a fucking towel? He's waiting for her reaction, a myriad of emotions washed over her face within seconds, then her body relaxed and a smile formed over her lips, glazing brown eyes taking him in.
she just leaned against the doorframe, smiling, holding her towel by crossing her arms, she nodded a small cocky "Hi there!" but it was so adorable he couldn't hold a straight face! her eyes glance over his form and he's like 'shit she's noticed'...but her eyes return to his and he realizes that's the only reaction she's gonna give, he knew what he did to her, seeing him like this always did something to her.
He understood it very early, that she wasn't judging him for his scars, she wasn't put off by them and he has this sudden revelation that if the sunshine and purity of this world doesn't judge him
On the contrary, she found him appealing, and by her reaction, he will dare say...sexy.
He used to have so much fun recording her reactions in the early days of their cohabitation, it was his fun time. But it looks like she no longer was the blushing new girl-friend… well she still blushed, but now... Now she could sustain eye contact and even act like a damn cartoon character when she was in the mood! even though she could whistle for shit! and damn that was hot.
He loved it!
-" Don't you have your own bathroom?" he asked with a soft teasing voice, leaning back like her.
- "I do, well I did, but then, had an early invasion, followed later by her trusted captain." she added, "I think it's gonna take a while."
That's why she was in a towel and not dressed, she must have noticed them too late after she already stripped down to shower.
"Huh! Lucky Stevie!" he smiled, proudly, "I guess a good night of sleep has its perks!" He wished he could say the same for himself. " It was weird having them being silent yesterday, I thought something else would keep me awake this time! With all the heated looks they've been giving each other!" he joked...ugh u stupid!.
-She blushed! " Yeah, at least someone could have fun in this house!" she added nervously, tucking her messy hair behind her ear nervously.
A short moment of apprehension on her part, noticed by her way of trying to look everywhere except at him, and that incisive biting of the insides of her lips was telling paragraphs of what was going inside her head.
Then she looked at him, that worry back in her eyes, touching him for the first time in four days, right hand over his flesh one, that was crossed over the metallic holding the towel, she looked at him.
Uneasiness took Bucky hard, dreading what to come. Please don't ask me about how my night was, I don't wanna lie to you!
"I am craving pancakes!" she smirked! Eyes squinting " wanna start on it and I'll join you in ten!?" she asked
He smiled, relaxing
"With whipped cream?" he asked, visibly relieved.
-"ugh! I shouldn't, but YES!"
It was the most 'normal' they got, since that day and it felt...good!
Even if they were in the same space, it felt like oceans of distance divided them.
-" You got it, little scorpion" he added with his damn smile, and the redness over her cheeks was back!
- " Alright Sarge, now move!" she pushed him playfully and closed the door behind her not after winking back at him.
- "You brat!" he commented!
- " Yeah? what's new"! She replied behind the closed door.
He didn't even realize that he was smirking and silently nodding to himself until he caught his reflection on the mirror in the corridor.
Bearth god damn it! Just breathe! Oh heavens, what a damn sight to wake up too.
Why in hell did I have to have a damn private bathroom, this should be a daily occurrence if I didn't have that damn bathroom… What a fucking luck!
She checked herself in the mirror, she was red! Utterly red, taking a minute to compose herself, trying and failing to not think about how he looked like opening that door.
Wet hair and soft red skin from the hot water, that damn body tight in the right places and so comfy in others, his surprised look and slightly teasing smiles,
Bucky Barnes in a black boxer drying his wet hair! My God!
Oh, Barnes! , what do I have to do to make you mine!
At least, she didn't lose all power of speech, like in the old days, now, now she could play his game too,
She noticed his once-over when he noticed the towel, that nervousness, over where to look, he's fidgeting with the wet towel and shirt, that was downright adorable.
Looking her in the eyes, and never going down when he got over the first reaction of taking in what was in front of him, such a gentleman our bad boy.
She needed to play dirty, he was still a man, after all, she needed to use all her weapons!
Love is a battlefield, Hon! Get your arsenal in order!