hey guys, I kind of lost control here, well I won't say I wasn't influenced by my damn mood and depression but kind of was so and me reading " the cinderella complex" pretty much shaped the character origin!, anyways, we finally get a bit of Moon's story here, I hope you like it, please let me know.
Going back home was a silent journey, both of them still buzzing with the warm emotional ease they were basking in from the open-hearted conversations they had. It was the first time -talking- talking, having a meaningful heart to heart, mainly from Moon. Where they get to know more about each other.
Bucky's chaos wasn't a secret, he didn't have much to broadcast...Frankly. He had some shit to say, but not the best time to ruin someone's evening with his horrors!
Moon, though, She never said anything about anything before. He didn't know anything about her except what Steve mentioned or living together. He wasn't an idiot, he knew something was up, and Steve didn't help with any explanation when he asked, she didn't give many details as to what was the main reason for all her heartbreak was mainly about.
But the silly excuses of her behaviour or, her way of being, actually being the principal cause of her loneliness was unbelievably hard to grasp. Who in their right mind would find her unappealing, or too much, or anything but adorably overwhelming?! She had her quirks, yes! but not ones to make her a pariah!
She described it as one 'loved' too much -more in his head really, Bucky thought- to the point of abuse at least mentally and the other one not nearly enough yet expecting more from her nonetheless. Either way, both of them used 'love' as an excuse. Clashing with the only true experience of love she had to draw as an example, he understood then that, Moon didn't really have any true, healthy experience of relationship and just loving and enjoying being with someone in a healthy way.
When he said this to her entering the house silently to not wake the couple living with them, both of them peeling the jackets and boots simultaneously, making no sign about either of them wanting this evening to end, she giggled and 'shhh-ed' them and continued to the kitchen, making a new pot of ginger tea with some lemon and honey in the warm and silent place they called home.
Their silent kitchen dance played back when Moon continued, " Now that you say it, You are completely right...But when you dissect the central issue here, Buck, it wasn't up to them, they were only humans, the main virus was hidden behind something completely unnoticed yet plainly at the front seat. And with distanced eyes, I can say now that maybe my way of 'love' or how I imagine loving someone is too ….intense!' She laughed.
True, a constant disappointment sure, but with time, she understood that everyone deals with what he can, and everyone was built differently.
" It took me a while to get used to the new version of my life, after the break up with Chris, and me moving in here. I had to redefine my whole existence, jumping from a relationship to another wasn't the answer to what I was seeking, I didn't know that at that time, I had to break the chains of the pattern forming. And doing so I might have ended up hurting more than myself… I had to understand the issue from the roots." she counted, filling the mugs with warm water.
"I remember I was lying one day sick, spent a good couple of days weakened with flu after lying in bed, a room that felt large and cold and unfamiliar, as the hours passed, strangely inhospitable, I began to remember myself as a little girl, small, vulnerable, helpless yet hopeful, expecting so much from life and being utterly trusting in the bright future that awaited me. Which was the opposite of what I was feeling that day in bed…" She said, looking at her mug suddenly being all interesting.
"By the time night fell, I was utterly miserable, not so sick with flu as with anxiety, " what was I doing there? so solitary, so unattached..so..lost?!.. I asked myself, How strange to be so disturbed. Even with my family around, I was always alone… The hard truth was coming to be recognized, me who spent so much energy avoiding it, I just... I hated being alone. I'd like to live and see, and taste life and share it within the skin of another, warm, taken care of. That, I was starting to find, was new… But It has been there, a part of me, for a long time. And that ma friend was the origin of the anxiety that I ended up with." she giggled, trying to make it seem less emotional or less caught up in the tale.
Now fully comfortable on their giant couch, the legwarmer over them, she took the elastic holding her tresses off with a sigh, massaging the scalp soothingly, and continued, "Growing up in a certain way and not being able to face up to the adult reality that we, women alone, are responsible for ourselves. We do not accept it. Everything about the way we were raised told us we should be part of someone else- that we would be protected, supported, buoyed up by wedded happiness until the day we day. Being a girl, being me, I... I romanticized it naturally."
Attention back on him trailing off, she was honest and just saying the truth felt so good, this has been her silent journey, talking about it with someone made it real and gave it grounds to touch the reality of it. Bucky was looking at her with his tired eyes and sinful lips she violated only hours ago smiling back fondly and understanding.
" The prince charming on a white horse" Bucky noted with a whispering voice, a bit rough from lack of use and uncharted emotions; as he did the same with his hair, to her amusement, mimicking her in an attempt to make her smile.
" Exactly, what's up with that?!Ugh anyways…" She chuckled back, smirking at his display and secretly loving it, then continued " I guess one by one, we discovered of course the lie in that promise. But the biggest lie of all, the elusive freedom, the ability to choose what we wanted, what we deemed important. But the freedom I soon found out 'frightens', it presented me with possibilities I was not equipped to deal with, responsibilities, my very recent diagnosis with ADHD, travelling alone, without a man- Chris- to lead the way, the chance to make friends of my own, all kinds of opportunities opened up to me very fast when I chose to come here, and it was terrifying. the newfound anxiety attacks and falling into depression…But luckily the friends I made were a good bunch!" She smiled fondly
"Freedom demands that we become true to ourselves, authentic to who we really were, no longer under that protective shadow. I discovered that values likes and dislikes I thought were my own were not! They belonged to others, vivid persons from a vividly engulfing past." She breathed out, visibly emotional"
Bucky fought the need to touch her and make it all ok…
"It was so scary, making me think about retreating and going back to that safety, restrictive but safe, and familiar bubble…" she looked back to him, a sad smile on her lips.
" I understood that I was not used to confronting fear and going beyond it, we've been encouraged to avoid anything that scared us, taught from the time we were very young to only do things which allowed us to feel comfortable and secure when you think about it, we were not trained to freedom at all but for it to be the exact opposite- Dependency."
" Being with the ones that came after, with my romanticised vision, of course, I can say now that like a programmed little machine, I fell back into that conditioning, the safety that I contemplated from them being with me was creeping back in, and with time the sappy side of me expected more from them making me fall back into that prearranged pattern of pleasing and...The hate and resentment and the damn anger were back within me. The painful confusion and the un-answered question was more prominent than ever! ' Is this what it is supposed to feel like? It wasn't enough, it wasn't satiable …"
She looked right through his soul with her piercing eyes, "The neurotic double chain of hating and fearing both dependence and independence simultaneously, and craving the complete fusion of two souls in one, the passion and Need and-" Her voice caught at the end, ending in a painfully heavy whisper, silent tear taking her time crossing the pinky space on her left cheek is when Bucky lost the fight and his warm fingers swept it like it never existed. '
" The wish to be saved was dormant, yet a constantly -there -presence within my core,"
Bucky heard her whisper… " I couldn't recognise it as clearly as I do right now, but it exists and will always be with me, and without a doubt emerging when 'we' least expect it."
Permeating our dreams, dampening our ambitions, leading us into putting more pressure onto our partner's shoulders and taking it for granted. She sighed omitting it, leaning her head over his shoulders with a huffed smile. He only replies with him leaning back on her head in acceptance still listening.
In the past, this wish might have its place, but now, such a wish is no longer appropriate or constructive, women do not need to be saved. it's not functional; it's not a true option, they may think it is, may want it to be, but it isn't…but …
"It sure as hell feels amazing to be taken care of, to feel protected and backed-up. The trust in that steady, 'always-there presence, always having your back, that beautiful half of your soul loving and protecting you and making every bad thing go away...The constant fight between wanting that and fighting it was a heavy load ."
" The prince has vanished" she finished back " And the strong caveman has grown smaller and weaker and the only difference between us is that the said prince or the caveman is only more experienced." Looking back at her dealing with that inner fight visible within her eyes, Bucky felt the strong need to save, hide and protect...His caveman was still lingering within him he guessed, he seemed to not have had the message yet.
"And you expect me to add to her! Come on steve thought you were smarter than that!" he remembered one day sputtering this to Steve that day...
" No buck, I know you...both...Trust me, Buddy." Steve firmly cut him. "And I know that there is no one better than you for her pal because you are the kind of man that fights for what's his...and as for her, she only wants to be needed and loved and cared for, Why do, you think she puts up with me, am a handful?"...
He understood where she was coming from though, what she must have struggled with all her life, the pressure of society and social standards for a woman her age, he recognized the other facets of the same coin within his upbringing, being a brother and responsible over friends and family even living far from them, he was always groomed to take care of and be the protective, the capable; the one on whom you lean on and turn too for help and support.
" Just like you ..we were taught to never show weakness, always be strong and to walk it off! Talking about your emotions was for sissies," He laughed mirthlessly. "When I have my night-terrors" He continued, suddenly voice rough and unused "I feel so ashamed of my weakness, and …" He trailed off, it was hard to voice out loud... " My need f- for hiding… My helplessness," He whispered, head tilting slightly towards her, ending with his mouth over the head, breathing in her familiar shampoo
" I know Hon," She whispered an understanding soft giggle under her tone, " you don't have to explain anything to me…" She looked back at him now, " But, can I ask one thing please?" A requested whisper, pleading with dark pools piercing him. She couldn't comment every time he yawned, she knew he didn't wanna go, even though he was dead tired.
" Anything…" He found himself whispering back.
" Please don't do that with me, please don't hide, let me be there for you and help you" She breathed, a warm hand over his cheek," You can never be a bother to either of us," He couldn't fight the need to nuzzle in that palm so he did just that. The weight of the last couple of sleepless nights since Shin and Tom came, the merely combined few hours of sleep he had were seriously weighing on him. And her somnolent powers were already established within Bucky's beliefs.
" Let us both fight the programming and try to just…be who we are, no masks." She smiled, determination in her orbs making him feel like he could lift a damn mountain.
He breathed " I promise I'll never hide anything from you again" The lingering resentment of that awful day was still present.
"And I wanna clear something out first so listen to me carefully" She started, looking at Bucky's orbs with a new seriousness in her voice and eyes, making Bucky tremble with anticipation, the fierce side of his softball in full display.
" I will never stop trying to help you, James, I will never sit aside and watch you crumble under your stubbornness and fears just because you think that you are not deserving of care, If I can do anything about it, rest assured that I will," She trailed off voice suddenly going softer as she got closer to him, " So just accept it and let's see where it gets us, where it gets you in your way of getting better, I don't want you to be ashamed of things that are out of your control, by doing so, you just end up worsening your case and hindering your convalescence, so the sooner you accept it the sooner you'll get over it. Because when I say I can never judge you I mean it, I have ADHD, anxiety, and to top it all off, depression Buck, so I know what it feels like to feel like shit and hating yourself for it " She whispered.
She beamed at him, hopeful and satisfied, silent tears back blurring her vision, this emotional beauty was showing him who she was and not hiding from his demons and how she felt life ... fully embracing her mental health and her resolve to just be better. He didn't know! He didn't notice. She was always sunny and smiling and positive…Taking her hand in is for a silent squeeze, she understood. He made a promise to cherish every aspect of what she might give.
He couldn't reply or comment, her words were set in stone. He wanted to kiss her so bad right now, but the only thing he could do was set his forehead over her left shoulder making her understand his letting go. The ghost of a kiss lingered in his mind alone enjoying the familiar scratching of blunt nails through his locks, to which he was beyond grateful.
Fighting a contented groan was very hard.
An adorable yawn that crept up on Buck's face instead made him laugh at himself afterwards, was Moon's undoing, making her get up and finally deciding to end this marvellous night, to Bucky's chagrin.
…...
After settling back into bed all warmly clad in her softest pyjamas and ready for the best sleep in a while, Moon couldn't keep escaping the pending thoughts readying themselves to be dealt with…The freezing bedsheets make Bucky's closeness dearly missed.
She kissed him, she fucking did it and what the hell was that boldness coming from, she was pretty sure it was from the engine infused adrenaline which she was grateful to a damn infinity. And the reaction of her boy was surprisingly understanding, he seemed on board with the idea. She remembered how tired he was fighting his body, could it be that?!
And just like that, it was clearer, knowing her roommate and from what he told her earlier about how ashamed he felt regarding his terror. Moon could swear that since Shin came and Tom, Bucky didn't let himself a minute of rest fearing to be exposed to the guests.
The realisation hit her like a brick,
"That beautiful dickhead!" She breathed, setting up, contemplating the realisation and the tell tales of the days after…
Being distracted again, the bathroom encounter that morning after days for the silent treatment after the fight, and the damn disappearance of the brunette these couple of days….She remembered how he looked that morning going out of the bathroom, because of obvious reasons- Thank you dear libido for making me blind once again- distracted by him, she missed reading the damn book and all because she insisted on Tom to spend the night, regardless. She can be inadvertently inconsiderate sometimes. Even though she asked him and him not being honest didn't help her, she wasn't a mind reader. So in conclusion they both were to blame.
She had to do something, fingers crowning her temples in pure realisation and fuck this! Just like that, a subtle noise caught her attention outside of her room, a soft aroma of coffee hit her nostrils. Listening carefully to the upcoming soft padding of bare feet passing her door, followed by a soft click of a door being closed, letting her know that Bucky was entering his bedroom.
Fuckity fucks! She was right, with a sigh she got up, opened her door and headed to Bucky's bedroom.
Stopping just outside his room, trying to catch her breath, the sounds of paper being ruffled through was the answer she needed, She knocked two times, the shuffle stopped and a soft "yeah?" was all she needed to open the door and let herself in.
Again with his distracting power her grey-eyed brunette had over her, she was lost within seconds in appreciation when she saw him sitting in bed, back against the headboard dressed in his grey sweat pants and dark top tank, hair loose and metal bringing the warm cup to his lips with the flesh on holding paper. One leg bent to help with the paper and the other half under the warm covers. a bewildered look on his features as he didn't expect her to be at his door.
The posture was clear as day, he never meant to sleep tonight. Fuck!
" Alright! I want you to be honest with me James," she started with a sigh, a tired and serious gaze taking over-emotional wreck in a second, approaching him with steady strides, taking the coffee from his hand and putting it back on the nightstand.
Warmed hand gingerly over his left cheekbone, fingers gingerly over his soft short beard, a gesture of care and reassurance, and trying to keep him from averting his eyes to hide "When was the last time you had at least more than a couple of hours of sleep?"
Came the feared question. And with the saddest smile, she saw in her entire life came the dreaded reply, breaking her heart all over again. Defeat all over his features.
"When I was between your arms! "He whispered after a couple of shameful ticking of the clock over his nightstand, voice heavy and eyes tired, the Ok! mask finally cracking for a handful of seconds. He promised to never hide anything, now he had to honour that.
Bucky heard her gasp when he understood that she could guess the full story in these few seconds, she wasn't an idiot.
" Why didn't you say anything?" She breathed out horrified eyes already going glassy; if sleeping with someone could help his case, why didn't he go to Steve or just say something! "James, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell Steve? If having someone close could at least help a bit, Why did you keep us away? goddamnit!
She was pissed in a second! Voice trembling and eyebrows knitted together in disbelief.
He didn't reply, How could he ever reply, like, 'Hey I can't sleep, and I know I blew out on you the other day because of your mothering me, but it seems that you were right, I can't sleep if not held by you like a damn kid! So can I sleep in your bed!?' Like hell, he would!
the silent beat up puppy face gave her all the answers she needed.
But you're making her cry once again...He closed his eyes...
"For fuck sake Barnes, I thought we passed that shit!" She was hurt and Furious. repositioning herself to face him taking her hand back in exasperation, "That's it, from now on I'm sleeping in your bed or you're sleeping in mine Or even if we all ended up crammed up in Steve's bed I don't fucking care! You have nothing to say for it and I will not accept any excuse!" She added vehemently and goddamnit she was hot when she was pissed!
"So eager to have me in your bed Doll! At least buy me dinner first!" He tried to joke to hide his fucking boner just now!
Nice, use your stupid jokes as a defence mechanism. It's undoubtedly the best time.
"Yeah yeah! you freaking idiot! I'll make you a feast!" 'acting so high and mighty she bubbled to herself.
But still, with everything he was going through he offered her what is now one of the best nights of her life, without knowing so, Bucky helped her cross one of her bucket lists!
riding a motorcycle was always a dream of hers and That stubborn bundle of beautiful nerves helped her realise it.
" With those kitchen skills of yours?" He teased smirking knowingly without missing a beat. He had nothing to do now, what can he do? He was dead tired and seriously couldn't think about anything. He knew if he slept now the nightmare would be tenfold.
Just shut up man!
" Fuck you, Barnes," She blurted amusedly, scuffing a disbelieving look over what he just said backing off behind her, that stubborn bundle of asshat! "I'll cater the shit out of that feast! it's the twenty-first century, I remind you!"
"Is that an insult or a to-do list?" He whispered voice low and delicious, eyes locked on her like she was this succulent dessert with stormy light eyes, and what the fuck did she just do, is this what digging your own grave felt like?
Alright! Nice one.
He chuckled, fondly watching her blushing. Still looking at her with warm dark eyes this time, just like she had that unexplainable power over him, Bucky discovered that he had the same one over her... and that was fantastic.
"So! " She started, still a tinge of red over her face. "Move aside," She ordered bluntly and, dead serious, taking the paper off his hand with a hint of blushing under the resolved boldness of her act.
" Are you serious Moon?" He asked stunned, all joking aside, looking up at her, still seated with baffled grey eyes looking back like she just asked him to give her an organ.
" Dead!" She replied; She started walking back to the other side of the bed after getting up abruptly, not even bothering to wait for a reply with the dismissive hand
" It's already late and I'm seriously done with the tiptoeing over what should and shouldn't be done. Sleeping with someone helps you, I honestly don't see why you don't, so we're gonna do just that!" She continued," As long as Shin is here you can not forgo sleep altogether, so you will sleep in my room or me in yours until she goes back or you feel better!"
" I-We can't…" He started, mortified without knowing why.
" Like hell, you can't!-" She cut in, " it's a done deal "
Suuure it's nothing, you pretty much violated his face just hours ago and now you're dragging him to your bed! Who are you and what have you done with Moon?
Watching her legs disappearing under his covers did something to Bucky's core, still stunned, breathing steadily. He had to snap out of it and gather his thoughts and fuck it's undeniably happening, fleeting to the bathroom to just work this new development and maybe he will stop acting like a damn virgin if he got ready for bed.
The following minutes were a blur to Bucky, stepping out of the bathroom after a couple of minutes, teeth brushed and hair tied back in a loose bun, with a final sigh sealing his faith he walked barefooted to his room, eyes falling on Steve door in his way. His brother was long asleep with the love of his life and here he was dreading what he was craving the most. There will be no way of turning back now, the dynamic will shift between them and it's gonna sting.
Finally, Bucky let out a long sigh and opened his eyes, stopping at the door frame, watching her taking the covers up and settling herself in his bed putting her phone down, she must have retrieved it when he was in the bathroom. He was amazed by how she fitted there over his bed, close and protective, chasing his demons away. Here she was all smiles and warm soft dark pyjama pants under a black tight T-shirt, To Bucky's chagrin, it wasn't another band shirt. Their gazes met and Bucky gave her a small, fond tentative smile, and the way that Moon blushed and grinned back...
Here was the object of his cravings and nightmares, making herself comfortable within his nest. Oh, fuck! Bucky knew right then at that moment that he was doomed.
And if he was doomed, well, he might as well make the best of it.
He closed the negligible distance between them silently, reaching the side of the bed, feeling her gaze upon him, sliding under the sheets. With a final resolute sigh, he pressed a feather-soft kiss to Moon's forehead. It was chaste and simple, sweet and when he pulled away he opened his eyes to find Moon's gaze so soft it nearly hurt. There was no rejection there, no regret, not even an ounce of objection.
They exchanged no words because none were necessary. Instead, they laid in warm under sheets smelling of her suddenly, finding immeasurable comfort and innocent pleasure in the simple presence of the other. It felt right, like they should have been doing it all along, and Bucky wished he hadn't been so scared to do this before now.
"Thank you for today Bucky, you have no idea how much I enjoyed it!" She whispered, breaking the silence within his walls, shifting to face him, hand under her cheek over the pillow and the other laid between the space of their pillows, nervously caressing the sheets up and down.'
" The pleasure was all mine, little scorpion" He breathed smiling back proudly, trying to calm himself and just enjoy the outcome.
Never in a million years did Bucky imagine ending up where he was right now, sure, he wanted it, prayed for it, but to surprisingly living it was something he couldn't anticipate, he never felt like he deserved it, to be honest, fearing how he can taint her with his darkness was the winning argument to shut all hope down. And now, look at him, she will never cease to amaze him.
She was visibly nervous too, he wasn't the only one feeling like a damn teenager.
He breathed out, he couldn't fight the pull making him go closer and closer. He was fairly sure that if he asked her to hold him she would in a heartbeat!...-
" Stop thinking" She whispered " Rest and don't worry about anything" Bringing her hand over his cheek, venturing over his ear and grabbing the elastic holding his hair setting them free to Bucky's delight, he couldn't control the soft groan he let out, instantly feeling better. He was never grateful for his long hair till he met her, she seemed to develop an unconscious habit of releasing his tresses, and he loved it. He thought about testing that theory when he felt more functional.
" Just imagine we're on the couch" She chuckled fingers still working over his head whilst he was fighting a groan " Only more comfortable" He laughed softly, eyes closing, burying his face within her scented pillows.
He fell asleep to her whispering a soft 'good night Bcky' already too far gone to reply, closer together, the blankets pulled on top of them. The dynamic had shifted again, Moon could tell, and this time she was sure that it was unquestionably a good change.
Alright, yeah, it was escalating quickly sure, invading his bed just after one night over his saddle was a bit too much to grasp for Moon, but he was literally destroying himself just by being a stubborn shit, and it's not like they haven't slept together before, they will just be more comfortable.
Overthinking was default mode in Moon's mind, so now she was fighting the dreary familiar feeling of analysing the whole damn month. So 'What else did she fuck up?' was the game of the evening, or just stay and look and enjoy what was in front of her as an option two.
she didn't, she chose option number two, watching Bucky sleep. And yeah, she knew it was a little creepy, thank you very much, and No, she wasn't about to turn into Edward Cullen, shut up brain! but she never got tired from actually seeing him being this vulnerable and relaxed...
The room smelled of him, all musky and sweet and all Bucky, lulled by his soft breathing Moon didn't fight her eyes closing, and just followed him under.
….
The happy hormones finally being useful for once, notably making his sleep to be less agitated than the other times, Bucky jerked and woke up some hours later to the comforting relief of a familiar warm body moving in bed behind him, pulling him into a pair of arms that he knew better than his own. He groaned sleepily not wanting it to be morning yet, fearing it would end soon. The silence being the stage for the rain symphony was the clue he got for time.
This was exactly what he'd been wanting and needing so badly. That safe, beautiful weight on top of him, covering him and enveloping him, tight possessive arms holding him in a place like he was worth something, worth the kind of care and affection that he wasn't even sure how to accept... it was everything he wanted and nothing he deserved, he was sure, but he was too greedy to deny it.
He slept, he finally had a full night of sleep and some changes too…Bucky doesn't remember if he ever dreamt about anything or did anything incriminating and was fairly thankful for it. But he couldn't chase the feeling that something must have happened, because when he regained consciousness again, the first thing he could feel was a warm skin, lips and nose nuzzled in the crook of her long inviting neck.
All softness and warmth of her merely inches from his lips, her back to his chest, his head on Moon's pillow and his arm caging her like a damn lifeline, seeking that warmth unconsciously in his sleep, when she stirred gingerly with a soft sleepy moan from his shuddering. The sudden movement coming with his realisation, that Yes ladies and gents, He was indeed harbouring an incriminating proof of how good he slept.
Closing his eyes in a silent prayer to be buried on the spot, Bucky tried to dislodge himself from her, feet entwined and metal arm over her side coming to rest on her tummy, accepting his doom he tried to hide his bulging tent perfectly snug to her bod by turning to face the other way, back to back is safer.
He still needed to be close though! Still feeling warm and she was still sleeping, he didn't fight the sleep claiming him back. When he woke up again, he was alone in bed, covered to his shoulders, hugging a pillow.
it was still raining outside, and he felt so rested. turning to lie on his back, trying to gather his thoughts and start his sleeping brain without coffee. His bedroom door was ajar, and no noise was coming from the opening letting him know that he was alone in the house.
Warm smiles weren't waiting for him, but cold coffee was still waiting when he came through the living room close to two in the afternoon, a gentle reassuring presence still lingering within his head smelling of her, it's good, it's enough, he is lucky to have that. He is Ok. She was right, she won and oh God he's fucked! There is no way he would be content with sleeping alone from now on, fuck him!
Heading for the coffee a 'post it' was sticking to the pot next to his usual mug," Morning sleepyhead, everyone is out, if there is something you want, please text me Ok, see you later, XO" He read, setting the pot back down.
He wants a lot of things, To feel the softness of the skin at the crook of her neck, To hear her laughter from that night with pure elation, To kiss the corner of her mouth and taste the secrets hidden there which he didn't have enough time to try the last time…
To kiss, To feel, and touch to..., he wanted it all!
Greedy!
What he does is avert his gaze to the mug in his hands, and shakes his head. It's one thing to want something and it's another to possess.
His wants are dangerous, his wants can destroy this precious family.