Chapter Seven: Phobia Factor
Chris: [narrating] Last time on Total Drama Island, the campers had their survival skills put to the test when they spent the entire night camping in the woods.
[the recap begins with a shot of both teams setting up at their campsites before clips of the various highlights are played as they are mentioned by the host]
Tails and Aquamarine continued to 'bond' which was in reality just the latter being her usual fake self, Yogi, Rainbow Dash, and Charlotte managed to gather food for the Screaming Gophers before Mother Nature decided to send a hord of wild animals to come up and take it from them. Wolf, Robin, and Carmen, meanwhile, had better luck in that department as their team was well-fed, minus Robin's cooking, which sucked. Tails went off into the forest for some air, but a mystery man made him run into a cave for the night, which sucked even more, and then it rained. Basically, no one got any sleep last night. Ultimately, the Killer Bass were on the chopping block again, leaving Tails without a marshmallow.
[after the kitsune's departure is shown, the shot cuts to a close-up of a pile of wood with Chris prodding with a stick]
Yup, the challenge was rough alright, and if I have anything to say about it, today's will be even more brutal. Luckily, I do. What fresh horror have we planned for our campers? Find out next, on Total…Drama…Island!
(Fade to Opening Theme)
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
You guys are on my mind!
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
I wanna be...famous!
I wanna live close to the sun!
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
I'll get there one day.
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(Fade to Episode)
[the scene opens with a pan down from the night sky to reveal the eight remaining members of the Killer Bass seated around the campfire pit]
Ivy: Losing after spending the night in a cramped tent wasn't exactly how I planned things.
Fox: I don't think any of us did, though it sucks about what happened to Tails, he straight up disappeared until this morning, and then…we voted him off…
Wolf: Well, the kid made his choice and we respected it, I mean, it sucks that he's gone, but what can ya' do?
Jasper: What we need to not do is lose, those Gophers got a free prize out of that night while we're stuck here with jack shit.
Carmen: I thought I overheard them talking about how a bunch of animals ransacked their camp and got into a huge argument over whatever, pure luck that they ended up winning.
Prince John: Oh, pure dumb luck is what I'd call it, that team's full of wannabes whose wins have primarily come down to convenience, we'd have won the talent show if Daffy didn't screw things up. Of course, we'd have also won the sleep-off if someone managed to keep their eyes open for longer.
Ivy: You know, it's ironic to hear you talking about luck since I'm pretty sure that is what's been keeping you from getting your butt booted off.
Prince John: Could say the same for you, Miss Athlete, as I recall, you were the first out on our side in the dodgeball challenge.
Ivy: Watch it, you, I actually did my part in that challenge, like how you mostly sat on the bench, so don't you start.
Carmen: Alright, you two, just don't start yelling at one another, I've still got a headache laying on the ground…[puts a hand to her temples]
[static buzzing]
Ivy: I'm not the only one that sees it, right? Name one time that no good Prince John helped us, and the target for dodgeball doesn't count since who wouldn't throw balls at his face? Doesn't jump off the cliff, is one of the first to fall asleep, mostly sits on the bench, and doesn't do the bare minimum. That's not gonna protect him for long, and I'll make sure of it.
[static buzzing]
Prince John: That Ivy is one snotty little brat, isn't she? Always acting so high and mighty like she's all that. Pah! I've got more importance in one strand of fur than she'll ever have in her whole body, how'd you like that?
[static buzzing]
Jasper: [glares to off-screen] Oh, great, here comes the bark brigade, no doubt here to rub their win in our faces.
[the viewpoint shifts to show that the Screaming Gophers have come to the fire pit, with Charlotte holding up a plate of flan to be seen]
Rarity: Oh, we just came by to share the extra desserts we got from the Tuck Shoppe.
Top Cat: Did ya' think we were just heartless jerks wanting to leave you hungry?
Jasper: I'd sooner believe a skunk infiltrated your cabin.
Angelina: [shudders] I absolutely cannot stand skunks, at least, the feral ones, though I'd probably flee from a certain someone.
Top Cat: If ya' wanna talk about fleein' for your life, you should see where I come from, got nosy cops comin' in all around the place, the last thing I'd eva' wanna be is a police officer.
Jasper: Really, the last thing I'd ever wanna be is seen as weak, that's a real terror right there.
[static buzzing]
Carmen: So suddenly, everyone started sharing their deepest fears with one another. Charlotte admitted her biggest fear is new age music, which I'm pretty sure is just a coverup, Rainbow Dash is terrified of chainsaws, even Robin admitted to being afraid of wearing pants.
[static buzzing]
[as the footage cuts back to the campfire pit, the Gophers are shown to have taken seats around it]
Usagi: What's my biggest fear; oh, there's so many, I'd probably need a whole list to describe them, but I know right off the bat; bugs, I can't stand them, not in a million years, they're so icky and crawly. Spiders in particular, they're so [shivers]
Katz: You all underestimate the natural beauty that is spiders, they aren't purely eight-legged monstrosities, they symbolize power in the hierarchy of insecticides.
Top Cat: Okay, tall, red, and creepy, what's your biggest fear?
Katz: Simple, I do not fear of anything.
Usagi: Well, that's not true, everyone's afraid of something.
Katz: That's the difference between us, you're afraid of something irrational, if I was ever afraid of something, it would be rational.
Rarity: You mean something like bad haircuts? [shudders] My memory never forgets the time my hair was positively ruined because of the wrong sort of shampoo.
Applejack: Personally, I've never been a big fan a' worms, I know they're good for the soil and all, but then they get in the apples and when they crawl all over you…[cringes]
Fox: [looks toward Wolf] So, what's your biggest fear?
Wolf: [muttering] Ah, damn it…
Fox: What, is the big bad wolf too shy to admit that he's got something that makes him scared like a pup?
Wolf: Don't push it, you, if I say it, you'd do good not to laugh about it…[sighs and then muffles]...mybiggestfearisrobots.
Fox: I'm sorry, could you repeat that, I didn't quite catch it.
Wolf: I said mybiggestfearisrobots.
Fox: One more time just for the record?
Wolf: Robots, damn it! I just…I get so uneasy around them, like having a metal body where you can't feel anything, I've had my fair share of possible metallic amputations, and the way those creepy things in those funhouses look at you…gives you the chills.
Yogi: [shivers] Robots ain't anything, I'll tell you what's scary?
Top Cat: Let me guess, no picnic baskets?
Yogi: Worse than that, watching all that delicious food being eaten by otherwise while you're left with nothing but nuts and berries, all those delectables, waiting for a bear's mouth, only for naught…[moans]
Top Cat: Rrrrrright…how about you, Space Cadet?
Fox: If I had to be completely honest, it would be witnessing the death of my father, there's still speculation over what happened to him, but I don't think I'd be able to bear a visual representation, even after all this time…
Top Cat: Oh…that's…that's pretty deep…I'm sorry to hear that…
Carmen: I know what you mean, I'm still trying to figure out the identity of my parents, the one I thought was my father lost his memory, and now I'm stumped on leads…
Ivy: Oh yeah, I remember that…that's gotta suck…
Carmen: Believe it or not, that's not my worst fear, that happened a long time ago when I was a little girl…I remember one day I fell into a big hole, it was dark and hollow, I'd never felt so terrified in my life…it took ages for the mistress at my old orphanage to pull me out…ever since then, I've always had this…edge of being deep underground…
Ivy: Wow…I never knew that…
Carmen: What about you, what scares you the most?
Ivy: [blushes] I…I can't say…
Carmen: Why not?
Ivy: It's too embarrassing…
Applejack: You don't have ta' worry, sugarcube, none of us'll laugh at ya'.
Ivy: [looks between either side of the campers next to her] My…my biggest fear is…wearing really girly clothing in front of a huge crowd…I just don't like the feeling of a bunch of people ogling over me like some girl on a magazine, like being pretty is the only thing that matters to a girl…
Applejack: Aw, I understand perfectly, I'm not one for the girly girl stuff ma'self, kinda clashes with ma' style.
Rarity: What about that time Trenderhoof came to the farm, you looked like you entered a beauty pageant.
Applejack: That time was ironic, much like how you dressed up as a farmgirl durin' that whole back and forth.
Rarity: [shudders] I'd rather not be reminded of that, it was positively barbaric, and over a man, what was I thinking? Although, speaking of barbaric, that sounds like a fear for a certain someone…[looks toward Top Cat]
Top Cat: Can I help ya' with somethin', toots?
Rarity: First of all, don't call me that, and second of all, I have a feeling that the biggest phobia for you is money.
Top Cat: Aw, c'mon, do you really think I'm that shallow?
Rarity: [deadpan] Do I even need to answer that?
Top Cat: Ah, fine, ya' caught me, but what can I say, I come from the streets, money's scarce where I'm from, so seeing it get taken away when I need it for certain purposes…[shivers]...and it's not just for me, the gang's not exactly wealthy either, I need to feed them poor boys somehow…
Rarity: Oh…well, my apologies if I came off a little harsh.
Top Cat: No, no, it's fine, you ain't the first person to call me shallow.
Angelina: Okay, so that's mostly everyone down except for Aquamarine, Prince John, and Katz.
Aquamarine: Oh, please, as if I would ever discuss personal information with you, I simply have nothing to disclose in terms of fears.
Prince John: Utter tish tosh, we all know you're afraid of something.
Aquamarine: Oh, is that so, smart guy, well then, how about you tell us what you're afraid of?
Prince John: That is strictly none of your business, let me tell you.
Top Cat: I mean, it's pretty easy ta' picture what you're scared of.
Jasper: No kidding, I'm pretty sure the sight of money burning would set him off.
Prince John: Shut up!
Aquamarine: [mocking] 'Ooooooooh, mommy, I've burned down the treasury!' [sucks her thumb]
Prince John: Oh, go to hell…speaking of which, you, red fur, come on, spill it, everyone else has!
Katz: I am truly sorry, but I simply cannot think of anything that I fear to such an extent.
[Wolf frowns, Carmen rolls her eyes, and the footage skips ahead to a shot of the island as the sun just peeks above the hills. The camera zooms in on the main lodge, and cuts to the inside as Chris whistles to gain everyone's attention]
Chris: Campers! Your next challenge is a game I like to call 'Phobia Factor'! Prepare to face your worst fears!
Top Cat: Is it any worse than this stuff?
Chris: Now, for our first victims; Yogi! Meet us all at the stage, I hope you're hungry, hehehe.
Yogi: Wait, you don't think that he overheard what we were saying last night?
Usagi: But I didn't see him anywhere near the campfire pit, so how could he have found out?
Angelina: [blinks in realization] Argh, because we told them! [faceplants on the table] They said cameras would be watching us everywhere.
[many of the contestants sweatdrop upon hearing this]
Chris: Fox, we've got a surprise in store for you!
Fox: Wait, you're not seriously gonna show my father dying before me!
Chris: Oh, come now, do you think I would be that cruel? I was talking about the other fear I caught glimpse of, something about crashlanding?
[scene cuts to a flashback of the previous night]
Fox: Actually, I've got something else to share; crashlanding the aircraft, that's scary, not being able to control your vessel with the high chance of dying, not a pleasant feeling.
[scene cuts back to the present where Fox sweatdrops with a groan]
Chris: Chef Hatchet! I believe you have a client at the 'barber shop', isn't that right, Rarity?
[the white unicorn gulps as she looks back to the kitchen to see the hulking cook grinning nastily with a cleaver in hand]
[the scene cuts to Chris standing in front of a small inflatable pool with the campers gathered around it. The camera pans across the Bass who look at the pool in disgust, before panning over the Gophers, showing Rarity looking sick to her stomach before ending on Applejack. The earth pony shrugs and hops inside of the pool, landing with a distinct squish among a writhing mass of worms. She emerges moments later none the worse for wear, causing her teammates to cheer and earning a point for the Gophers on the on-screen scoreboard]
Chris: And Applejack sets the bar way up there!
Applejack: Ya' know, this might feel weird, but it's not too bad actually.
[Rainbow Dash is shown next, one of the interns holding a chainsaw in front of her. The pegasus anxiously looks at the device before giving a sigh as her expression turns fierce. It then cuts to Charlotte sitting in a chair while a pair of headphones is placed on her head. The blue girl is seen casually moving her legs back and forth, seemingly unaffected]
[the scene cuts to the stage where Yogi is standing in front of the others sat on the bleachers, watching with interest as Chris steps onto the stage with a picnic basket in hand]
Yogi: Oooooh, I say, is that for me? I was hopin' ta' get somethin' good to eat after breakfast.
Chris: Oh, you'll get to eat, Yogi…riiiiiiiiight after I have some of this. [pulls out a sandwich and slowly eats it in front of the winching bruin] Oh, it seems like there's chips in here, too, soda pop, casserole, a slice of cake, I wonder if there will be any left?
Yogi: Ooooooooooh…
Angelina: Don't run off! It's just food in a basket, be bigger than that!
Yogi: Easy for you to say, you're not the one with the big appetite!
[the bruin looks back at the host eating from the basket in both envy and apprehension, biting his lip as he tries to cope with the display]
[scene cuts to Chef Hatchet and Jasper locking eyes with one another]
Jasper: Give me your best shot.
Chef: Yo' neva' gonna make it out alive with those speed bumps you call muscles.
Jasper: These have got more than your entire meat collection.
Chef: I beg to diffa'.
[scene cuts to Carmen surrounding in darkness, down in the caves]
Chris: [voice over] Carmen began her six hours of solitude in the caves feeling pretty confident.
Carmen: [sighs] You've been in tighter situations before, this shouldn't be too much of an issue, if not boring…and lonely…
[scene cuts back to the stage where Angelina is being pushed from behind to an awaiting skunk sitting on a table]
Chris: Right then, Angelina, you have to pet this skunk in order to receive a point for your team.
Angelina: Oh, um, is that the phone I hear ringing, goodness, maybe I should go get that, haha, haaaaaaa…[looks back at her teammates giving questionable expressions before looking back towards the skunk with shrunken pupils]...alright…let's just…do this…
[Angelina walks back to the skunk and ever so slowly tries to reach her paw out to it…the camera switches between the two as they look at one another…before the skunk raises its tail. An ear-piercing scream echoes throughout the camp, shattering the stagelights above while everyone in the bleachers covers their ears before a thump is heard. Angelina has passed out on the stage]
[static buzzing]
Angelina: Okay, that was definitely an embarrassing thing to witness, especially given the fact it was all recorded on camera…[facepalms]
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Rarity sitting on a barber's chair while Chef stands before a sink. The white mare looks anxiously to her right only for the cook to turn around with a sharp knife]
Chef: I recall somethin' about bad haircuts if I'm not mistaken.
Rarity: [gulps] I, uh, don't know what you're talking about, not at all, no…[her pupils shrink as the hulking man comes closer]
Chef: Then ya' won't mind if I just trim a little here…[picks up a lock of Rarity's hair]
[the white mare whimpers in anticipation as she sees Chef raising his knife]
Rarity: [grabs her hair tightly] NO! Please, not my hair, anything but that!
Chef: [shakes his head] I expected betta' from you, soldier.
Rarity: [sighs sadly]
[static buzzing]
Rarity: Look, I've made do with bad manes before, but do you honestly think I'd feel safe with a man like that cutting my hair? Plus, I'm sure he doesn't even clean his utensils.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Usagi sitting on the bleachers when an intern approaches her]
Usagi: Um, what's in that container?
[the intern unseals the lid to reveal a whole bunch of bugs swarming about inside]
Usagi: GEH! That can't be what I think it is! [shivers as she sees the bugs being dumped towards her, the ones in the front looking ready to her legs] YAAAAAAAA! BUGS! GET AWAY, GET AWAY! [runs off at super Sonic speed, still screaming all the while]
[the scene cuts to the beach where Usagi is seen still running above the sand dunes as the camera pans down to Katz watching from below]
Katz: Pfft, fools, idiotic enough to blab out their deepest insecurities where cameras are everywhere. Lucky for me, I happen to have an edge when it comes to being intelligent, as I didn't say a single word about my fear.
Chris: [off-screen] Oh, you didn't have to. We have eyes in places you didn't know of.
Katz: Huh? What do you mean? I never said a word about what I was afraid of, not that I fear of anything.
Chris: Well, we did a little digging and found out that you've got a rather interesting phobia to say the least. Hehe, I think you might find it to be a wet experience.
[Katz's pupils shrink at this]
[static buzzing]
Katz: It can't be, I didn't usher a word about that, not a single bloody word, how could they have found out?
[static buzzing]
Chris: Say hello to the Isolation Chamber! [opens the door to show a white room, totally empty save a single light embedded in the ceiling] For the next six hours you'll be completely cut off from the outside world in a soundproof room devoid of any stimulation! Heck, there aren't even any cameras in there! The door won't be locked, of course, but if you so much as touch the handle then you can say goodbye to any point for your team.
[Chris shoves the wide-eyed feline into the room and slams the door behind him. Katz lets out an exasperated sigh]
Katz: I ought not to say it because I know it's going to get worse.
[the sound of a YIP causes Katz's ears to perk up, following by more sounds similar to it. He slowly turns around to find a tower of puppies gathered on top of one another]
Katz: Oh, bloody hell…
[the scene cuts to the next camper. Wolf is standing apart from the others and in front of a robot that looks like it's come from a several-decades-old science fiction story]
Chris: Just give it a hug!
[Wolf scowls at the host and then looks toward the robot with slight unease. Fox looks up at this and approaches the lupine]
Fox: You know, I've never seen you so on-edge.
Wolf: Well, it'll be something to laugh at later on, I'm sure.
Fox: I may not see eye to eye with you, but I'm not cruel. I'd understand if you couldn't do it.
Wolf: [looks back at the robot before looking back at Fox] Ah, fucking hell. [goes up to the robot and embraces it into a hug while the Killer Bass cheer on] Hey, I did it, it's cold as hell, but I'm doing it.
Chris: Which reminds me; Fox, you've got a flight heading out in ten. [points to a decrepit looking plane where Chef steps out in a flight attendant's uniform]
Fox: Oh, good lord…
[the scene cuts to up in the air where Fox is looking near sick to his stomach from the bumpy ride. It then cuts to Top Cat and Prince John standing on opposite sides to one another]
Chris: Okay, time to show which of you greedy bastards can handle a little currency catching alight.
Prince John: He doesn't really mean that, does he?
Top Cat: I wouldn't tempt fate.
[Chris holds out a bag of money as the two felines watch with apprehension]
Chris: Remember, you have to stay right where you are in order for your team to win a point. Try to salvage anything and you lose.
Prince John: You're blood cold, you know that?
Chris: I try. [puts a lighter up to the sack as Top Cat and Prince John glance at each other anxiously]
Top Cat: It's just a bag of rocks, just a bag of rocks, just a bag of rocks…
Prince John: Not a sack of cold, hard cash, not at all…
[as the lighter sets the sack on fire, the camera shifts between the two feline sweating in anxiety at the spectacle, their paws twitching and in their toe claws digging into the ground]
[static buzzing]
Top Cat: When you live on the streets and you see a sack of cash just being lit up for someone's amusement, that's borderline cruelty right there.
[static buzzing]
[Top Cat bites his lips as he feels on the edge of giving up until]
Prince John: Save them! [rushes toward and tries to quell the flames of the burning money] Oh, how could one be so cruel, how could one be so cold?!
Top Cat: [lets out a huge breath he didn't know he was holding] Oh, thank God…
Ivy: [facepalms] Are you for real, you just cost us a point!
Prince John: Oh, be quiet, you peasant, you'd never understand, not like you wouldn't do the same!
Ivy: Well, I'm not greedy like you for one thing.
Carmen: [off-screen] Excuse me, did someone mention something about a loss of points? [on-screen] I believe I might be able to rectify that.
Chris: The results are in; Carmen managed to complete the full six hours of being underground, so she wins a point for her team!
Carmen: Naturally, so where do we stand?
Chris: At the moment, it's the-
Katz: [off-screen] GAAAAAAAAHHH! [on-screen, looking rather soaked] All that disgusting puppy slobber on my dry, clean coat!
Aquamarine: AAAAAAAAHHHH, I can't handle it, I need reaffirmation that I'm the best, I can't stand being put down!
Jasper: [rolls her eyes] Wow, what a bunch a' sissies. [looks up to see a plane landing]
[the door is opened to reveal a rather dizzy looking Fox stumbling out and onto the group as Wolf comes forward to pull him up]
Fox: Remind me…never to go up…in a plane…with him again…
Wolf: Note taken…
[a sound of ripping is heard and the camera pans over to a pair of pants that have been shredded before panning out to reveal Robin rocking himself back and forth]
Chris: As I was saying, the Gophers have five while the Bass has four, which leaves Ivy as the last person to go.
Ivy: [gulps] But wait, even if I do it, that'll just be a tie.
Chris: True, but if it comes to that, then I'll decide on a tiebreaker. It's either that, or giving the win to the Screaming Gophers. Your choice.
Ivy: [looks between her teammates and then back at Chris with an anxious expression before giving a sigh] Okay…let's do it…
[the scene cuts to the amphitheater where both teams are sat down on the bleachers before cutting to behind the curtains where Rarity, Angelina, and Usagi are standing with their backs turned, fussing over something]
Rarity: A little more on her face!
Angelina: Tuck the curls back!
Usagi: Oh, here's a bit of blush!
Rarity: Right then, let's see what we've got to work with!
[the three girls back away to reveal Ivy, all decked out in a dainty dress and her hair done with makeup and bows. The shell-shocked redhead looks like she'd make Princess Peach blush]
Rarity: Well, darling, what do you think?
Ivy: [steps forward towards a mirror and examines herself uncertainly] It's…very girly…
Angelina: I think you look nice in it.
Usagi: Yeah, it's a nice change of pace if you ask me.
Ivy: [sighs] I don't know how I'm gonna face the crowd like this…
Carmen: [off-camera] I think you look nice like this.
Ivy: Oh, God…
Carmen: Would you care to dance?
Ivy: Now's not the time…[looks out from behind the curtains and gasps]
Carmen: Ivy, are you alright?
Ivy: I…I…[looks at the crowd and then down at herself]...I can't do it…it's too embarrassing…[covers her face]
Chris: This just in; Ivy has chickened out! The winners are the Screaming Gophers!
[the Gophers cheer at the scoreboard announces their victory, it then cuts to the Killer Bass looking down in defeat and then to Ivy having looking shamefaced before she feels a hand on her shoulder. She looks back to see Carmen giving her a sympathetic expression]
[static buzzing]
Ivy: [sniffles] That was so pathetic. I can't believe I was so weak…I'll never stay for this…GAH! Shut up! You're stronger than that, Ivy! [puts on a serious face…but then falters]
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the Campfire Ceremony before it closes in on the awaiting Killer Bass]
Chris: Killer Bass, third time in a row, man, you guys really need to pick up the slack.
Jasper: Can you spare us the taunting and just get on with it?
Chris: In that case, Jasper, you're up first.
[the orange gem stands up to collect her marshmallow]
Carmen.
[the lady in red goes up to receive her prize]
Wolf.
[the lupine stands up]
Fox.
[the vulpine stands up]
There are only three marshmallows left on this plate. [the shot cuts to the remaining campers] The four of you did not complete your challenges today. One of you is going home tonight and cannot return. Ever. The next name I'm gonna call is…Aquamarine.
[the blue gem drops her nervous expression to go up and collect a marshmallow]
Robin.
[the red fox stands up before it pans over to Ivy and Prince John glancing at each other with a look of dread]
The final marshmallow goes to…
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Ivy.
Ivy: [breathes a sigh of relief]
Prince John: You know what, that's fine. I don't need this idiotic show anyway, can't believe I'd waste my time on such trivial nonsense such as this. HMPH! [huffs off to the Dock of Shame]
[static buzzing]
Aquamarine: Fives losses compared to the Gophers' two, not the best track record for us, admittedly, but what matters is that I stay far away from the red circle as possible. With the clear weak links gone, it's time I put more of my plan into motion.
[static buzzing]
(Fade to Credits)