Chapter Nineteen: Hook, Line, and Screamer
Chris: [narrating] Previously on Total Drama Island, campers had to build their own hot wheels in a motocross challenge to race for invincibility.
[the footage jumps from the stock shot of the docks to the bike depot as Angelina and Rarity begin to sort through it]
There were big winners and big-time losers!
[the quartet of Carmen, Katz, Wolf, and Rarity are shown passing Chef while the initial two pile-ups of the race are shown]
And there were even some wicked, off-the-track motocross stunts!
[Angelina, Top Cat, and Carmen's wipe-outs in the second race are proceeded by a few earlier clips of the campers dodging explosions as they ride over the artificial hills]
But in the end, it was Katz who crossed the finish line, and double-crossed Rarity by throwing her off and destroying her chances of making the finale.
[clips of the businessman throughout the challenge are shown, culminating in him knocking the unicorn to the side, allowing him to pull ahead and win]
However, seems Rarity wasn't ready to leave without giving Katz a verbal lashing, for the entire viewing world to see. Oh, boy, that's gotta be awkward. Rarity ultimately lost the race, and the challenge, which meant goodbye to Rarity and her fabulous ways.
[the two former Gophers' post-race argument is shown quickly, as is the white mare's departure from the island before it cuts to Chris on the docks]
Who will be the next winner? Who will be the next loser? Who will renew my contract for next season?! [casts an exaggerated look of suspicion at the camera, before smiling and pointing at it] All these mind-probing questions revealed, on this episode of Total…Drama…Island!
(Fade to Opening Theme)
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
You guys are on my mind!
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
I wanna be...famous!
I wanna live close to the sun!
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
I'll get there one day.
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(Fade to Episode)
[spooky music and the faint sound of a film projector are accompanied by a slow pan across a gray-toned ground, opening the episode. A few dramatic twists in the music coincide with a figure shown only by their feet stepping onto the screen, the camera soon panning up and rotating to reveal that figure to be a hulking man set against pine trees and a full moon. He is wearing a soiled smock and gloves as well as a hockey mask, the mouth contorted into a grimace and the eyes glowing red; above his head, he brandishes a chainsaw, and in place of his left hand is a wicked-looking hook]
[the chainsaw revves, and the scene cuts to the eight campers sitting on stumps and watching the film in a small outdoor theater – from left to right looking at the now-hidden film screen are Katz, Fiona, Top Cat, Angelina, Charlotte, Wolf, Carmen, and Mao Mao]
Charlotte: Oooooh, he really knows how to use a chainsaw!
Mao Mao: He's heading for the car…that's never a good sign.
Top Cat: Hey, idiot couple, quit sucking face and start the damn car!
Wolf: Goddamnit, these films always pick the most obvious spots for someone to get killed.
Carmen: And somehow, they made it a trend that's somehow still going on today.
Wolf: I guess it's part of the "charm" or some shit.
Katz: Wow, the car won't start, who could have ever seen that coming?
Fiona: I'm surprised you're not jumping for joy watching this, if I had known, this would be right up your alley.
Katz: When you've seen one film in this genre, you've seen them all, no matter how many times they "change" something, it's always going to be the same old formula.
Angelina: [uncomfortably rubbing her arms] I'm not exactly a fan of films like this…
Fiona: Here comes the bloodbath!
[the sound of a chainsaw ripping into something, accompanied by the occasional red light on the projector causes everyone's eyes to widen. Angelina in particular is looking rather pale. Fiona is the only one taking any real enthusiasm in the film, while Katz manages a small grin. Both the scary background music and the sounds from the movie begin to fade, and there are several murmurs of "Gross," "Disgusting," and other such things from the campers]
Top Cat: Well, I guess that's another body count of teens, until the next installment.
Angelina: [holds in a retch] I think I'm going to be ill…
Fiona: Oh, don't be such a pansy, it's just a stupid slasher film. Though, you're lookin' pretty ghostly right about now, looks like it's Mother Goose from now on.
Angelina: That's not funny.
Mao Mao: Personally, I find the killer's methods to be rather skewed, I've slain monsters for justice, what's his goal?
Wolf: A better question; how the hell does he keep coming back? That bitch should be dead right about now.
Carmen: My guess; some secret immortality that still doesn't make sense in hindsight, without explanation as to how it works.
Angelina: How are you still smiling after watching that?
Charlotte: I was distracted by the way the camp looked, it's really pretty.
Angelina: [sweatdrops] Of course, ask a dumb question, receive a dumb answer.
Fiona: [puts her hands on Angelina's shoulders] Saved your life!
Angelina: [squeaks in fright and then grabs her chest, breathing heavily] What…what was that for?!
Fiona: [laughs while slapping her knee] I got you, I gotchu good! You shoulda seen the look on your face!
Angelina: [blushes in anger] That wasn't funny in the slightest! I felt like I had a heart attack!
Fiona: Hey, not my fault you get scared easily.
Angelina: I wasn't scared! I was startled by your stupid joke.
Fiona: Um, yeah, you say that, but looked like you saw the spirit of Carrie White rise from the grave, sounds legit.
Angelina: ARGH! You are such a prat!
Carmen: Okay, calm down a little bit, nothing to get worked up over.
Angelina: [crosses her arms] HMPH! Speak for yourself.
Wolf: Ooooh, boy, here comes the melodrama.
Angelina: I heard that!
[static buzzing]
Angelina: That Fiona has a barbaric sense of humor, and I wasn't scared…I wasn't! I just…get uncomfortable after watching horror films, that's all. So what?
[static buzzing]
Fiona: Man, that ballerina's got a loose spring on her, denies anything with the same energy as an angry child, which fits her perfectly.
[static buzzing]
Carmen: [puts the film reel back in the case] You know, one thing I don't understand is why people come back to the same place in these films.
Wolf: It's the easiest form of plot convenience; characters keep coming to where people get sliced so the killer has a reason to kill them. Works every time.
Top Cat: So, if I kept hearing that people were dying in a certain place, that's cause to go there and check it out for myself. Ooooooh, boi, I can't wait to die!
Mao Mao: If I was in that situation, I'd leave as soon as we walked through the main entrance, just packed up my things and gotten the hell outta dodge.
Fiona: Oh, but then you'd make the entire plot irrelevant and we'd miss bitches get axed.
Katz: Being axed is so primitive, there's got to be more elaborate ways to kill a whole group.
Angelina: Could we maybe please stop talking about people being murdered? I've had enough shock for one night.
Charlotte: Okay then, you got it! By the way, did anyone notice how we didn't have a challenge today?
Carmen: Yes, I happened to notice that as well. Strange, it's not like Chris to miss an opportunity to put us through the wringer. For all his faults, he definitely values punctuality.
Katz: Perhaps the film we watched was an indicator of what's happened to him.
Fiona: Oh, please, that guy prolly slept in most of the day and didn't take his coffee, he's bound to be around somewhere.
[a puttering engine catches the group's attention, and the scene cuts to a pile of crates and luggage. A hand, soon revealed to be Chef's, picks up a suitcase and tosses it onto the Boat of Losers which has docked and already been loaded with boxes and bags. One bag remains as Wolf approaches the cook]
Wolf: Excuse me, just where are you off to?
[Chef yelps, shooting a terrified look at the lupine before turning and jumping onto the Boat of Losers. Chris, already on board, pulls back the throttle and speeds the ship away. Both men have looks of fear on their faces, and Chef is shooting his back towards the dock]
Charlotte: Oh, they forgot a bag! [picks up the last piece of luggage, a green bag with a rolled-up piece of paper sticking out the top flap] Huh? [the paper falls out]
Carmen: [picks up the paper] Escaped psycho killer on the loose. Be on the lookout for a man wearing a hockey mask, with a hooked hand, and carrying a chainsaw…
[the viewpoint shifts to get a shot of what Carmen is reading. Prominent on the page is the silhouette of a large man wearing a hockey mask and wielding a chainsaw]
Top Cat: That's, uh, a pretty descriptive take on a killer.
Katz: Oh, bullocks, this is the most contrived setup imaginable; horror flick, hasty exit, leaving important clue behind, there's no element of surprise.
Mao Mao: I dunno, those two were uncharacteristically anxious, almost to a suspicious degree, hmm…[rubs his chin]
Angelina: [nervously] Hehehe, this is all just a ruse, right? Like, they wouldn't actually leave us on the island if some murderous psychopath is on the loose…right?
Fiona: Why, feeling a little scared, are we, Angelina?
Angelina: [turns around in a huff] I never said that! In fact, I don't believe this is real at all, this is just part of some elaborate trick!
Wolf: You sure about that? Cuz I dunno how much of a trick Chris would go through leaving…his hair gel behind!
[everyone besides Katz, Fiona, and Wolf gasp]
Katz: Wow, you lot are really easy to scare.
Carmen: I did it more out of theatrical effect.
Top Cat: Okay, maybe this might be the real deal!
Angelina: We need to call the police!
Fiona: I thought you said you didn't believe this was real?
Angelina: I don't! I was just throwing it out as a precaution.
Charlotte: Wait, so is there actually an escaped psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook, or is this part of the challenge? I wasn't listening.
Mao Mao: Whatever it might be, I'd say it's best that we all stick together, that way, the less of a chance the killer will strike.
Carmen: Mao Mao's right, let's just all gather by the campfire and stay together, it's the most logical thing we can do at this point.
Angelina: Um, yes, what they said. And I still don't believe there's a killer. I mean, we're on reality TV, they wouldn't go that far…I hope…
[the screen flashes and Angelina is no longer being watched in-person, but from a monitor. The camera pulls back to show Chris sitting in a chair, watching four such monitors showing the Dock of Shame, the campers, the campfire pit, and the confessional. He chuckles and turns to the camera]
Chris: Angelina's right. And tonight, we're watching to see who can survive a real-life scary movie! With special guest appearance by…the escaped psycho killer with the chainsaw and a hook! [holds up a hook to his face and it gleams along with his teeth]
Top Cat: Stick together, sounds like a foolproof plan. Hey, anything that gets me through the night with my neck intact.
Mao Mao: You treating this like a challenge or are you just being a smartass again?
Top Cat: Mmmm, a little bit of both.
Mao Mao: I figured as much.
[scene cuts to the campers sitting at the campfire]
Carmen: Okay, so I think we all know what we have to do now.
Wolf: Sit here a whole night and probably starve ourselves.
Carmen: Hey, you can go off if you want, but more than likely your ass is toast.
Wolf: Okay, fine, I'll sit here.
Carmen: Now, there's three important rules to know; never go alone, never go in the woods, and never make out in the woods, otherwise, you will die.
[static buzzing]
Carmen: Yeah, I know the basic formula, seen it enough times to know how it plays out. Plus, I already know I'd be safe in a situation like this, the others have…varying degrees.
[static buzzing]
Angelina: Um, this is probably not the best time to say so, but…where's Charlotte?
Carmen: Huh? Wait, where'd she go?
Wolf: I guess she really wanted to get herself killed. My bet is that she's gone into the woods.
Carmen: [facepalms] Are you serious right now?
[static buzzing]
Carmen: How, how can someone be that dense? The forest is a literal deathtrap in this kind of situation…then again, it's Charlotte, why should I be surprised?
[static buzzing]
Top Cat: If it's no issue with you, perhaps I can go look for her.
Katz: You do know that logically makes no sense, right?
Top Cat: Hey, we don't know how much of this is real. I'll just find the kid, bring her back, no biggie.
Mao Mao: If you're going, allow me to join. Going alone in the woods is instant suicide, so you'll be more protected with me.
Top Cat: Hmm, okay, knight in shining armor, let's find the ditz and get this over with.
[the two felines set off from the campfire]
Fiona: And then there were five…
[static buzzing]
Top Cat: I was really playing it up back there, admittedly, I was unsure of how much this thing was real, but I kept a straight face, didn't wanna worry them too much.
[static buzzing]
[a shot of the full moon is shown, and a wolf is heard howling in the distance. The scene flashes over to Top Cat and Mao Mao walking through the forest]
Top Cat: Charlotte! Charlotte! Where are you?!
Mao Mao: Goodness knows how deep she went, might as well be on the other side of the island.
Top Cat: You think she's capable of doing that so quickly?
Mao Mao: I mean, anything's possible with her.
Top Cat: True.
Mao Mao: So, how safe do you think we are?
Top Cat: I mean, we're in the woods, but we're not alone, so that's something.
Mao Mao: Yeah, and at least we're not making out.
Top Cat: Heh, yeah, I know, that'd be crazy, right?
Mao Mao: Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely crazy, heh…
Top Cat: Yeah…
[static buzzing]
Mao Mao: What? I wasn't about to let my hormones run away with me, we were in a precarious situation, the last thing we needed was to fall into the tropes.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Charlotte picking flowers by a river]
Charlotte: I can buy a sugar when I want to bake a cake
When there are leaves up to your knees, I'll let you use my rake…
[as Charlotte continues to sing, the POV switches to several yards away from her, before slowly moving in]
Charlotte: In the summer when it's really, really cool
I will-[stops singing as a twig can be heard snapping]-hmm? Hello? [turns around] Is someone there? Are you a puppy? A kitty? A bunny? [looks toward a rustling in the bushes] Awww, don't be shy, come on out where I can see you…[puts a hand on her chin when nothing comes out]...hmm, I see how it is, don't worry, I'll come over to you…[slowly approaches the bush and kneels down]...come on, baby, come to auntie Charlotte…
[at that moment, a looming figure emerges from the bush. The figure is shown having a hockey mask over his face, dark skin, grey pants, a black apron, and a hook in place of his left hand. In his right hand, a brown gardening glove on his non-hook hand, and a chainsaw taped to a hockey stick as his weapon of choice. The chainsaw is started up while Charlotte looks up with a genuine expression of shock]
[scene cuts back to Top Cat and Mao Mao looking behind a bush when they hear what sounds like Charlotte screaming]
Top Cat: What was that?!
Mao Mao: That sounded like…
Mao Mao and Top Cat: CHARLOTTE!
[the two felines rush off in the direction of the voice. They emerge from a set of trees and begin to walk over a log strung over the river. However, Top Cat loses his footing and falls into the drink]
Top Cat: WHA-
[Splash!]
Mao Mao: Top Cat!
Top Cat: [rises from the water, but is being dragged by the current] Mao Mao! Go on without me!
Mao Mao: No! We're supposed to stick together!
Top Cat: I can't reach you! I'll meet you over where it's stable!
Mao Mao: W-Wait, Top Cat…DON'T LEAVE ME HERE…hoooooo, this is bad, this is very bad…[slaps himself] NO! Pull yourself together, Mao Mao! You need to be brave, you need to…[hears heavy breathing coming from behind and cautiously turns his head to see the killer standing behind him]...oh shit…
[scene cuts to black, the episode continues]
[the scene shows the top of the trees before it cuts to Top Cat swimming to shore and spitting out water]
Top Cat: PLAH! Aaaaaah…that wasn't pleasant…wait…now I'm on my own…oooooooh damnit, damnit, damnit…okay, okay, keep it together, TC…[sighs as he props himself against a tree]...keep calm, keep calm, hooo, I'm not calming, I'm not calming…where am I…?
[scene cuts back to the campfire where the others are still there]
Angelina: They've been gone a while now…you don't think that…
Katz: Oh, I do believe that the reaper's come to claim his due…such a shame really, they had such potential…
Angelina: Are you really being this nonchalant?
Fiona: Rich talk coming from you, if you're so worried about them, why don't you go and look for yourself?
Angelina: Are you joking, I'm not going in those woods!
Fiona: You said it yourself there was no killer, so what's the hesitation? Hmmmmmm? Not feeling chicken, are you?
Angelina: I'm not!
Wolf: Oh, for God's sake! If you two are gonna keep bitching at each other, I'll be the deciding factor. [points at Angelina] You, if it's not too much of a hassle, I'll come along to search for the others.
Angelina: Oh, um…thank you…I suppose…
Fiona: Careful, Wolfy, it's a full moon tonight.
Wolf: Do I look like I came out of the Brothers Grimm?
Fiona: Speaks for itself, don't it?
Wolf: That doesn't make any…you know, screw it, I can't even be bothered to argue, come on, let's rescue some virgins.
Angelina: Oh, yes, coming…at least I'll have better company this way…at least that's what I think…why am I talking to myself, oh God, I look so undignified…
[static buzzing]
Wolf: I had to step in, not just because those two were getting on my damn nerves, but also cuz Fiona's picking on Angelina was getting old real fast. I felt like the squirt could use something to take her mind off it, and hey, I wanted some fresh air.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts back to the campfire with the trio. That is unless Fiona stands up]
Fiona: [sighs] Not that this isn't fun or anything, but I've got some business to attend to.
Carmen: I'm sorry, what? Where are you going?
Fiona: Oh, just…somewhere…[begins to walk away]
Carmen: Somewhere…you do know you're setting yourself up, right? Am I the only one with common sense around here?
Katz: Well, I'm still here, and I believe myself to be of high intelligence.
Carmen: Of course you do…[sighs]...it's just the two of us now…
Katz: You know, I happen to be feeling rather peckish, I think I'll treat myself to the dining hall. You coming along?
Carmen: I suppose I can't see the harm in it, as long as we stick by each other…but no tricks, mind you.
Katz: Tricks? Please, my dear, I'm not a barbarian, I know the severity of the situation when I see it.
[scene cuts to Angelina and Wolf walking through the forest, the former looking especially tense]
Angelina: Hello? Charlotte…Mao Mao…Top Cat…? Is anyone there?!
Wolf: You don't look too good there.
Angelina: Excuse me?! I'm perfectly fine!
Wolf: No, you're tense as hell, and you're shouting.
Angelina: I'm not…argh! You know what, go ahead, laugh it up, I don't care anymore!
Wolf: Why would I laugh at that?
Angelina: I know it's your nature to pick on "frilly folk" like me.
Wolf: Okay, listen, sister, I might have a spike jacket and boots on, but I'm not some dumb high school bully, and I can see when someone's being picked on.
Angelina: Why do you care, I know you think my reactions are amusing.
Wolf: That's not the point, I get where you're coming from. I didn't find the schtick back there all that funny, that's why I split you two up.
Angelina: Wait, you did that…oh…
Wolf: Yep…
Angelina: Oh…um…well, I guess I should apologize for being snappy…
Wolf: Nah, it's fine, I don't really give a shit to be honest, I've been yelled at for worse.
Angelina: Yeah…I suppose so…
[scene cuts to Fiona leaning against the wall to the washrooms]
Fiona: Man, this whole challenge is stupid…then again, so that's Angelina, needs Wolf of all people to come to her rescue, what a fucking joke…[looks over from side to side]...well, I guess since no one is around, I've got this place to myself…[steps inside and takes off her jacket]
[scene cuts to Top Cat anxiously shifting through the trees, his eyes darting from left to right, shivering slightly]
Top Cat: Hoooo, God, oh GOD…just keep calm…just think pleasant thoughts, just think…calm…yeah…calm…nice…serene…
[Top Cat's calming session is interrupted by the feeling of being watched…sure enough as the feline turns around, there a shadowy figure is standing several feet away from him. The yellow feline tries to run away, but collides into a tree and falls to the ground]
Top Cat: OW! Damn it…[looks up to see the figure standing right over him]...help…
[scene cuts to Wolf and Angelina still walking when they hear Top Cat screaming]
Angelina: That was Top Cat!
Wolf: Well, then let's hurry!
[the two race in the direction from where they heard the voice, but then slow down as they realize something]
Wolf: Wait…the person who usually goes to check on someone…ends up being killed themselves…
Angelina: Pleeeeease tell me that's not suggesting what I think you are…
Wolf: I don't know…
Angelina: [barely above a whisper] Oh, good lord…
[scene cuts to the messhall where Katz is sitting at the table closest to the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea]
Katz: Let's see, the back windows and doors are secured, as well as the front windows…food and water are secured, claws at the ready in case of unexpected attack…all present and accounted for…
Carmen: [from the kitchen] Let's just hope that the others make it out okay, I wouldn't want these to go to waste, and I doubt you're much of a sweet fanatic.
Katz: [gets up from his seat and walks over to the kitchen] What are you making in there anyways?
Carmen: Just the most summer camp thing imaginable…[opens the oven door to reveal a tray of brownies being prepared]
Katz: Hmm, how droll…where did you even get the materials for that?
Carmen: Would you believe the things you find when looking through the pantry? I thought 'why not', baking helps soothe the nerves, at least to me.
Katz: I see, well, I suppose I'll be waiting on your dessert. Back to my tea…
[outside the back of the messhall, the camera is placed from the perspective of the bushes while the sound of heavy breathing can be heard]
[scene cuts to Angelina and Wolf by a tree, the latter propped against it while the former paces back and forth]
Angelina: This is not good, this is not good, this is not good.
Wolf: You're gonna make yourself dizzy by doing that.
Angelina: I can't help it! My nerves are at an all-time high!
Wolf: Look, as long as we stand together and keep our guard up, we'll be alright.
Angelina: Easy for you to say…
[the two freeze at the sound of a chainsaw going off and slowly turn to see the figure coming towards them. The lupine and the mouse run off as fast as they can, running for at least a mile before spotting a tent in the distance]
Wolf: Over there!
Angelina: Run to it!
[the two charge towards the tent and burst into the entrance, panting heavily until they look up to a surprising discovery. There are Charlotte, Mao Mao, and Top Cat all sitting unharmed]
Angelina: [sighs in relief] Hooooo, thank God, we finally found you.
Wolf: Not a scratch on one of you, I'm impressed.
Charlotte: Tee-hee, we're alright, that killer wasn't actually a killer at all.
Mao Mao: Turns out it was just Chef dressed in a costume scaring the bejesus out of us.
Top Cat: I will give him credit, that man knows how to do a costume.
Chris: You're all correct, each of you has been hounded by Chef as part of our challenge. Oh, according to the monitors, I think he's found his next victim.
[the camera zooms in on the monitor before cutting to the outside of the washrooms. It then cuts to inside and we see the silhouette of Fiona showering in one of the stalls. From inside, the vixen turns on the knob and the water turns off. She dries herself off with a towel and exits the stall. As Fiona goes to put her clothes back on, there's a knock at the door]
Fiona: Hello…? [shrugs before going back to her clothes before the knock is heard again] Yes, it's open! [the vixen goes to her jacket before the knock is heard again] Oh for crying out loud! [storms towards the door] Seriously, man, how many times are you gonna-[cuts herself off at the sight of the figure looming over her with the chainsaw in hand]
[Fiona's scream is heard over the monitor as Chris watches with a big grin on his face]
Chris: Hohoho, man, that is priceless!
Fiona: [as she's pushed into the tent with ruffled hair and an irritated expression on her face] Damn, asshole, couldn't have waited until I was changed!
Angelina: What was that about me being chicken? Because from what I heard, you sounded pretty scared yourself.
Fiona: Oh, shut up, pixie, I can tell you were anxious as hell as soon as you left earlier.
Angelina: [rolls her eyes] Yeah, sure…[looks over to see Chef giving her a wink and smiles]
[scene cuts to the messhall as the timer dings and Carmen reaches into the oven to pull out the fresh batch of brownies. She then takes out of the kitchen and places the tray in between her and Katz]
Carmen: Looks like we lived long enough to eat. You gonna dig in?
Katz: I would say merely take a sample, just to see how edible this is.
Carmen: I mean, it's a brownie, not much to judge about it.
Katz: [meticulously takes a bite out of one of the brownies] Not too bad admittedly, not too overboard in the sweetness department.
Carmen: [takes one of the brownies off the tray] Ironic you say that, hope you don't intend on extracting the recipe out of me.
Katz: Then it's lucky for you that I had no intention to speak of…
[scene cuts back to the tent]
Fiona: When are we gonna be able to leave, it's getting crowded in here.
Chris: Sorry, no one can leave until everyone's slashed, and we've still got two to go.
Fiona: [groans]
[static buzzing]
Fiona: Man, that was not cool, who comes up to a woman while she's not changed like that? Assholes.
[static buzzing]
Charlotte: Oh, look, Chef's entering the messhall from the back!
Wolf: Is he now, this ought to be fun…wait, Chef's right here though…
Top Cat: What? But that can't be it, who's the person on the monitor?
[the monitor shows a figure walking through the kitchen]
Angelina: Wait…is that…?
Chris: Chef…am I seeing double…?
Chef: Oh…shit…
[the campers and hosts rush out from the tent]
Chris: [to Chef] This could be really really good for ratings…or really really bad for lawsuits!
[scene cuts back to the messhall where Katz notices a figure coming out from the kitchen]
Katz: I see our challenge has arrived.
Carmen: Hmm? Oh, it's the killer. Well, looks like we'll have to see who he spares.
Katz: My assumption is that it's typically the final girl standing, but in this case, perhaps it'll be an exception.
Carmen: Well, two people have gotten away before, maybe we're it.
[the front door to the messhall bursts open with everyone shouting warnings to the two]
Mao Mao: Get down!
Wolf: Run!
Angelina: He's the real killer!
Carmen and Katz: What?!
[the killer raises his chainsaw and swings it at the lady in red and the red feline, both managing to dodge the attack. Both stand on the table as the killer begins to shred the wood, but Carmen takes the opportunity to kick the man in the face, knocking him back slightly. The killer recovers almost instantly and goes for a second try, but indirectly ends up giving Katz an opening. Carmen and the killer circle around each other several times before Katz, with his claws extended, stabs the latter in the back, causing him to freeze…kneel down…and fall onto the floor]
Fiona: Oh my God…
Katz: [looks down at his now blood-stained claws] Hmph, peasant…
Carmen: I wonder though…
[static buzzing]
Angelina: Yep, it's official; I'm not watching horror films for a long time…
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Angelina coming out of the washrooms]
Angelina: [sighs] I needed that after the night I've had…
Katz: [off-screen] That all of us had…
Angelina: Huh?
Katz: Hello…you appear less tense than before.
Angelina: Well, guess you could say my nerves settled down.
Katz: So it appears…though I couldn't help but notice the…source of your problems…
Angelina: I beg your pardon…?
Katz: You know what I'm talking about…an issue that keeps pressing…let's just say I can help you deal with it…
Angelina: You mean…what I think you are…
Katz: Yes…
[scene cuts to the Campfire Ceremony]
Chris: Well, it appears that Katz and Carmen win invincibility, as such, they get the first marshmallows.
[the aforementioned two catch their respective treats]
Also safe from elimination are Wolf, Top Cat, Mao Mao, and Charlotte.
[each of the campers catch their marshmallows]
Which means the final marshmallow goes to…
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Angelina!
[Fiona gasps as Angelina catches the marshmallow with a grin]
Fiona, it's Dock of Shame time, again!
Fiona: What?! You can't be serious! Who are the wise guys that voted for me?! Whoever you are, you better watch your backs! You'll be sorry you ever crossed me!
[scene cuts to the departing Boat of Losers with Fiona crossing her arms and shooting a venomous glare at the campers seeing her off. She looks over to Katz giving her a smug wave off and gapes]
Fiona: Katz! You backstabbing, double-crossing, spineless motherfu-
[Fiona's curses are censored as the boat heads further off into the distance]
[from behind a bush, watching the scene unfold is a silhouetted figure that suddenly turns to the camera and smashes it]
(Fade to Credits)