Chapter Twenty-Two: After the Dock of Shame
[the opening shot for the episode is superficially similar to the one used for nearly all episodes prior, however, Chris is conspicuously absent from his normal spot on the docks]
Chris: [narrating] In today's special episode of Total Drama Island, you've been watching Angelina, Carmen, Katz, Mao Mao, and Wolf make their way to the final five.
[the scene flashes from the empty pier to close-ups of each remaining contestant as they are named before the campers are shown sitting together from the end of the previous episode's elimination ceremony. The scene then cuts to outside of the messhall, the communal bathrooms visible in the background. Mao Mao bursts out of the mess hall door, leaning over the railing near the entrance and vomiting into a bush; at the same time, Angelina runs screaming from the washrooms, a bear hot on her tail]
It's been a long seven weeks. So! We decided to give our weary finalists the day off to contemplate how far they've gotten, and enjoy all the campgrounds have to offer.
[the camera moves further to the left, revealing Katz and Carmen sitting over the docks before Wolf emerges from the water and pulls the former in by surprise. The lady in red stifles a chuckle as the red feline emerges with a scowl, looking at a smug lupine while in the background, Mao Mao is also seen running with Angelina away from the bear]
But what happens to the campers after they walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave the camp?
[the scene flashes to Chris leaning from behind a totem pole]
Where are these rejects living?
[the scene flashes to Chris at the summit of the tall cliff]
How are they spending their time?
[Chris' next location is an unidentified spot in the forest, and he holds up a chest of gleaming gold coins, jewels, and jewelry]
And who do they think deserves to win the hundred grand?
[the shot moves again from the trailer Fiona had won earlier in the season to the outhouse confessional, complete with the usual static]
The losers are about to let it all hang out, and you won't wanna miss a word!
[The final transition sens the smiling host back to the docks, the camera pulling back to show him on a red jet ski]
Comin' up, on Total…Drama…Island!
[The recap finishes, and Chris speeds off from the island]
(Fade to Opening Theme)
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
You guys are on my mind!
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
I wanna be...famous!
I wanna live close to the sun!
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
I'll get there one day.
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(Fade to Episode)
[Tropical music begins to play as the scene moves to a long pier leading up to a short cliff. A variety of deck chairs and umbrellas can be seen set up along both it and the beach, and a pair of small sailboats are docked to the left. At the top of a cliff is a mansion, painted beige with a gray roof and a number of palm trees dotted around the landscape. Against the background scenery of rolling hills and tall spruces, the palms stand out]
Chris: [enters the scene on the jet ski] Welcome to Playa de Losers! The all-inclusive luxury resort where our campers are sent after being brutally voted out of the game, to lick their wounds, and accept their fate, as reality show has-beens.
[as Chris speaks, close-ups of the building, the palms, and a buffet table with a variety of dishes are shown, followed by a shot of Prince John and Daffy sunbathing by a pool, with Jasper lifting weights nearby. Robin is shown at the top of the high-dive, leaping off and diving into the pool before remerging]
When we are down to the two final competitors, their fate will be in the hands of these seventeen losers!
[the scene moves over to Rarity, Applejack, and Bugs in their bathing suits, sitting on stools around an island smoothie bar]
Rarity: [sighs contentedly] The perfect way to spend a hot day, relaxing by the pool with free smoothies.
Applejack: I hear ya' there, I'd never expect us ta' be sent someplace like this, especially given where we came from.
Rarity: I know, this place is fabulous by comparison, everything that was in the brochure checks out here.
[the viewpoint shifts below the water, showing the three former contestants' legs as dangerous music begins to build in tension. The camera cuts back above just as the music reaches its peak, and Charlotte popped up wearing a diving mask and snorkel. Her sudden surfacing causes the trio seated at the bar to get splashed]
Rarity: Ah!
Applejack: What the?!
Bugs: Sure, get me wet, why don't you?
Charlotte: Tee-hee, sorry about that, I'm playing shark, while looking for hidden treasure.
Bugs: Oh, yeah, I'm sure you're gonna find lots of valuable things in a chlorinated pool.
Applejack: Nah, don't you mind, sugar cube, I'm sure you're bound to find somethin'.
Charlotte: You guys should come in, the water's so nice.
Rarity: I just got my hair done, I think I'll pass on swimming for now.
Charlotte: Okay, see you later!
[Charlotte leaps back into the water, splashing Bugs closest to her]
Bugs: What am I, a lighthouse or somethin'?
[the shot moves over to Top Cat, this time with his hat and vest removed as he relaxes in the hot tub]
Chris: As you can see, our campers have made themselves comfortable here at our luxury resort.
Top Cat: Aaaaaah, now this is the life, no more crummy campgrounds, just rest and relaxation fa' the rest of this trip…
[the scene moves over to Prince John and Daffy lounging by the pool]
Daffy: Now this place is more my style, hard to believe it's next to that disgusting camp.
Prince John: Almost makes up for missing out on the grand prize, this is the treatment I should have gotten from the beginning.
[A flash takes the scene over to a grill, where Yogi is cooking fresh steaming burgers]
Yogi: After I got booted from the show, I found out that this place has restocked food all the time, that's when I knew I'd died and gone to heaven. [flips a burger right onto the bottom bun] If only they had service like this back in Jellystone.
Ivy: [off-screen] Mind serving us some of those?
Yogi: Comin' right up!
[the scene moves over to Ivy and Fox sitting at one of the tables]
Ivy: Ya' know, coming from there to here almost felt like a case of whiplash, but the good kind of whiplash.
Fox: I know what you mean, I don't think I've ever felt so relaxed for as long as I can remember.
Ivy: How about your little moment with Wolf before you left?
Fox: Aaaaaah, c'mon, I felt fireworks at that time.
[Usagi, Rainbow Dash, and Tails are next to be shown, sitting by the edge of the pool]
Usagi: Okay, I would have never expected the benefits of losing like this. If I knew this was where I'd end up, I would have gotten voted off sooner.
Rainbow Dash: I gotta say, this place sure makes up for that dumpster fire of a camp, free to exercise and relax whenever I feel like it.
Tails: I didn't know how good a massage could feel before I tried it out in the spa, it was…[sighs contentedly]...sensational.
Usagi: Oh, and have you tried the cookies here, they're so yummy, I even brought a plate. [munches on one of the treats] MmmmmmmMHMHMHM, oooh, you precious things, don't ever leave me.
Charlotte: [off-screen] Hey, look! [on-screen, holding up a green swimsuit] I found someone's swimming trunks!
Robin: Ah, so that's where they went off to.
Bugs: Wait, you're naked in there?
Robin: Why yes, I am…[notices the looks the trio at the bar are giving him]...what, I don't wear anything below the belt anyway.
Rarity: Um…yeah, that's true.
Applejack: Yeah, fair.
Robin: Right then, I'll be off, cheerio, you lot.
[Robin dives back into the water at the right angle that causes everyone next to him to blush]
[the scene cuts to Aquamarine flipping through a magazine with a scowl on her face]
Aquamarine: This place may be serviceable, but it doesn't make certain things better. I should be in the final five, replacing one of those plebians. You can't say I wasn't a team player.
[a flashback shows Aquamarine swiping something from the Screaming Gophers' supplies during the first challenge]
Fiona: Tough luck, sister, you at least got voted off fair and square, I was voted out twice, and I know exactly who set me up the second time.
[a flashback shows Fiona and Katz shaking their hands in agreement on something]
Fiona: It's all Katz's fault. When I see him next, I'm going to wrap my hands around that scrawny neck of his and wring it!
[the scene cuts to Tails hanging his legs over the pool]
Tails: I might have had a short run on the island, but the night I got out, I knew the stress was getting to me. It's not something I would consider being cowardly, if you were in my position the previous night, you'd know what I mean.
[the scene cuts to Jasper still weightlifting]
Jasper: What can I say about my experience? In the simplest of terms; it sucked. Not the worst kind of sucked, but I know one spot in particular that almost gets it there.
[a flashback shows the seadoo challenge where Katz cuts the rope between him and Jasper, sending her into the mud]
Jasper: I know dishonest people when I see them, and Katz is right near the top of that list. [grips hard on the handles of the weights]
[the scene cuts to Bugs back at the bar]
Bugs: Yeah, you could say it was a shock to be the first voted off, I mean, I could see several other options, but me first? That's just crazy to think about. You can't say I didn't have potential.
[a flashback cuts to Bugs jumping off the cliff with no trouble. The scene then cuts to Robin sitting in the hot tub with Top Cat]
Robin: My experience on the island wasn't as bad as it could have been, after all, I made friends with two lovely gentlemen and we stuck close during our time together.
Usagi: Ooooooooh, sounds like something a little more than that.
Charlotte: Something really, really cute.
[the two girls giggle with their mouths covered]
Robin: Oh, come now, I may be interested, but I'm no cad when it comes to seeing two people together.
Fox: Hoooooo, boy, I knew the rumors were going to start as soon as we became "a thing."
Ivy: Sooooo, you weren't satisfied with that lil kiss you gave Wolf, hmm?
Fox: [blushes] What, no, it's nothing like that, it's just that I know there's going to be a lot of talk from the press about the two supposed rivals for life tying the knot.
Ivy: Oh yeah, news outlets can be so annoying like that, especially when they take it out of context.
Fox: Or worse, make a mockery out of it.
[the scene cuts to Aquamarine and Fiona sitting at a table]
Aquamarine: I know for a fact that I was qualified to make the merge, I was all about strategy on the Killer Bass, that should count for something.
Fiona: You mean how that one strategy got me kicked off the first time?
Aquamarine: Okay, that was your own fault regardless, I don't think anyone was willing to put up with that.
Fiona: [puts her fist in front of the blue gem's face] You wanna say that again, pixie?
Aquamarine: Uhhhhh, never mind, I agree the second time you were done dirty.
Fiona: That's better, wouldn't be the first time someone took advantage of me.
Aquamarine: Pardon?
Fiona: Huh? Nothing, just…keep it to yourself.
Aquamarine: Okay, that was…strange.
[the scene cuts back to Bugs]
Bugs: Did I get anything outta this experience? No, I wasn't around long enough to tell you the full story.
Daffy: Oh, look, something I actually outrank you, besides the obvious.
Bugs: Don't see why you've got anything to gloat about, you got out fourth.
Daffy: Through no fault of my own, let me assure you.
Prince John: Didn't you burn down the stage during whatever that act of yours was?
Daffy: It was a tribute to the days of classic art, culture has become so stagnant as of late.
Bugs: Gee, almost makes me wish I coulda seen that sizzling inferno.
Yogi: Hey, hey, hey, fresh steaks are ready and-[trips on a ball left on the ground]-WHAAAAAOH!
[Yogi falls on his front while the plate of steaks flies into the air and all over the place, two of which land on Prince John's head and Daffy's stomach. The lion and black duck yell out and immediately dunk into the pool to stop the burning, splashing Rarity, Applejack, and Bugs more than Charlotte did]
Rarity: My hair!
Applejack: [spits out water] God darn giblets.
Bugs: [pulls one of his ears off his eyes] There's never a moment of peace around here, init?
Yogi: Oops, sorry about that.
Prince John: Oh, you clumsy git! I've got steak marks on my precious head now, I need shampoo and conditioner on the double!
Daffy: Don't forget about me, it got on my stomach!
Yogi: Well, gee, I said I was sorry, fellas, guess I'll have to whip up another batch, just sit tight there.
Prince John: I swear, food is the only thing running through that bruin's mind. Hmph, wouldn't be the only one, let me tell you.
Chris: [off-screen] So, Fox, if you could say something to one of the five remaining campers, what would it be?
Fox: Well, I would say that Wolf should invest a lil more into carrying mints with him…but also, ironically enough, that I miss him…
[a flashback shows Fox and Wolf's moment prior to Fox leaving the island, including the surprise kiss by the former]
Fox: There was just something about him that I never knew before…that's what makes it special.
Rarity: Awwwwww, that's so sweet, darling.
Applejack: Yeah, sounds like you two got it good together.
Charlotte: I kept my diary during the trip, and I drew these pictures of the two. [shows Usagi and Rainbow Dash her basic sketches] Don't they make the cutest couple?
Usagi: [with her hands to her cheeks] Awwwwww, you drew them with lil chibi faces, that is sooooooo adorable!
Rainbow Dash: Hehe, you two don't stray too far from each other, do you?
Usagi: Well, it's hard not to be happy at the sight of love.
Charlotte: Especially when it's between two cuties.
[Charlotte and Usagi mimic the latter's mannerisms against a rainbow background with happy chibi faces]
Charlotte and Usagi: And love is the most powerful force in the world!
Rainbow Dash: [with a chibi face to the side] Doesn't that sound familiar?
[the scene cuts back to Robin]
Robin: I can safely say that Fox and Wolf have my utmost support in whatever future endeavors will hold for them. I'll need to make a reminder for when the show's done to set up an event for us, I feel like they'd get along swimmingly with Little John.
Top Cat: Ain't it ironic given he's taller than you?
Robin: Oh, it's just the name he goes by, he doesn't mind John, Johnny, Johnathan, all that stuff, lovely man, never hesitate to pull me out of a tight spot.
Top Cat: Hmmm, I wonder what that entails.
[the tropical music starts up again as the tropical music flashes to Chris]
Chris: And there ya' have it! Stay tuned to here the answer to the question everyone wants to know: what do the losers think of the final five? And who will they vote to win?
[the camera pulls back to show the host still standing at the dock leading up to the playa]
These answers, and more, comin' up!
[the scene cuts to black before the episode continues]
[Fading back in from black, the playa is shown at a distance before the shot cuts to Chris walking past the buffet table]
Chris: Okay, you've seen how the losers are spending their time. Now it's time to find out what they think of the final five!
Jasper: [leans into the shot in front of Chris] Katz can kiss my ass, it's all his fault I got booted out, he's a venomous, vindictive little bastard and I'm gonna enjoy watching him go down!
Chris: Wow, tell us how you really feel.
Jasper: I just did.
[the scene cuts to Yogi putting down a fresh set of hot dogs on the table]
Yogi: What do I think about Katz? I think he can take his strategy and stick it to the sharp end of this poker. [picks up one of the hot dogs] This is fresh, when was the last time he made anything that wasn't second best? [bites into his meal]
Daffy: Katz is a crafty opponent, I'll give him that, but the way he acts all creepy and mysterious? Wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole.
Applejack: I knew that slimy vermin couldn't be trusted, even when he tried to make me out as bein' crazy, but I guess the team didn't get the memo.
Rarity: If it's any consolation, darling, I knew you weren't at fault, and I can say it's backed up given how he got me eliminated.
[a flashback shows Katz passing Rarity during the final part of the bike race, knocking her over, in addition to other scenes of Katz doing questionable things]
Rarity: What an absolute cad! How someone like him managed to get this far is beyond me.
Prince John: You're rather naive, aren't you? I believe him to be among the most intelligent of that lot, given how he's wiped most of the competition out of the water, a formidable opponent clear as day.
Applejack: Ya'll don't just go behind people's backs like that, it ain't right, ya' hear?
Bugs: Well, at least we all know who ain't gettin' the popular vote, I know he had something ta' do with me being booted.
Ivy: Carmen was someone I thought I'd never get along with for more than a few words, but then again, call me surprised when she and I raided Chris and Chef's fridge, hehehe, that was priceless. I'm still a bit wary, but not so much where I think she's completely untrustworthy…would be nice to see her win.
[the flashback of Carmen and Ivy's raid is shown, followed by them running off with the food]
Jasper: Carmen is one of the few that I believe deserves to win, she at least sticks by her group, which is more than can be said for certain people…
Fox: Who do I want to win? Well, that answer should be pretty obvious.
[a montage shows Fox and Wolf's relationship through its development, from being uneasy to becoming more amicable]
Fox: It's a strange feeling, the guy I thought was just an ally at best turned out to be someone that got me to loosen up a bit, thooooough I'll never forget the look on his face when I gave him that surprise.
Robin: I never expected to get along with someone like Wolf, but call me pleasantly surprised to find that he was open to conversation, I still remember the trio we made between us and Fox, what an experience that was.
[several scenes of the trio together are shown]
Tails: You would think I'd steer clear of Wolf throughout my time here, but I found that he's not all bad once you get to know him, hey, anyone who lifts me up after a victory is bound to have some good in them.
[the flashback to the Killer Bass' dodgeball victory is shown, along with Wolf affectionately ruffling Tails' head fur]
Top Cat: Mao Mao was someone I thought was a bit of a clown at first, but spending time with him made me realize that he's got some substance to 'im, especially on our last day together.
[the flashback to Top Cat and Mao Mao on the beach is shown, including them throwing the tiki doll into the cave]
Fiona: That guy ain't special, all he does is twirl a sword around and spew random "hero" garbage, talk about narcissistic.
Aquamarine: He couldn't last a whole week before being kicked off the first time, that should tell you something.
Top Cat: Rich comin' from you, Fifi, you got booted sooner than he did, twice, might I add.
Fiona: I think I'm in the mood for steak now, fresh, hot, off the grill.
Top Cat: [rolls his eyes] Whatever.
Aquamarine: Besides, you could hardly call him a team player, not like me, I was-
Bugs: He's there, you're here, get over it. [gets a cup chucked at him] AH! [falls into the pool]
Usagi: People might think Angelina's bossy or fussy all the time, but I think she's really nice, from the times I've spoken with her.
[the scene of Angelina and Usagi dancing together, coupled with them talking is shown]
Rainbow Dash: She could be pretty bossy at times.
[a few scenes of Angelina being sarcastic, particularly with Rainbow Dash and Charlotte are shown]
Rainbow Dash: Then again, it's not the worst example I've seen.
Rarity: I think Angelina's got style and grace on her side, for all you can say against her, one can't deny that she's a lovely dancer.
Charlotte: Angelina would be my pick to win, she's pretty funny with some of the things that she says.
Jasper: Which are more or less sarcasm when it involves you.
Yogi: Basically, I think they're all fine in some way, well, apart from the obvious thorn in the bosom, man could use a little meat on those bones…[cough] eat a steak [cough], oh sorry, I don't know what came over me there.
[the scene flashes to a screen of full light blue accompanied by the sound of light music being played over the resort. The camera pans up and out to show the majority of the campers gathered at the pool's edge. It is night, and the lights are on in the main resort building behind them; there is a gap between the campers positioned in front of the door. On the left side of the screen sits Robin, Fox, Usagi, Jasper, Bugs, Tails, Fiona, and Rainbow Dash while on the right side of the screen sits Applejack, Rarity, Ivy, Prince John, Daffy, Top Cat, and Yogi while Charlotte and Aquamarine are in the middle sitting on floaties in the pool]
Rarity: [sighs] It doesn't get any better than this.
Yogi: True that, so, who do you all wanna see win if you could vote for 'em?
Charlotte: Oh! I'd vote for me!
Aquamarine: That's not the question, brainiac. He meant contestants still in the competition.
Rarity: I believe Angelina should win, even with her not being as athletic as the others, she can still put up a good fight.
Usagi: Oh, yeah, I second that, my vote's for Angelina.
Robin: I don't think you're all giving Wolf enough credit, comes off as a natural leader in my eyes.
Fox: Even I've gotta give credit where it's due on that bit, showed me that he's just as good as a leader as I am.
Top Cat: It's a split between Mao Mao and Wolf for me, they've both got something for me that I can respect.
Ivy: I've gotta go with Carmen, my respect for her has gone up since I've been here, and I think she's got the skill to win it.
Prince John: My verdict stands, I don't care if it's unpopular, I seemly see the truth and nothing but the truth when it comes to Katz.
[at that moment, Chris suddenly appears in a sudden flash and pinkish smoke, startling the campers]
Chris: Haha! Okay, losers, it is time for the most unexpected twist of all time, Tonight, you will be voting the next camper off Total Drama Island!
Usagi: Wait, really?
Chris: Yep, here's how it's gonna work; there are no marshmallows. I am gonna ask you, one by one, who you would like to join you here tonight, at Playa Des Losers. Charlotte, you're up first. Who would you like to vote for?
Charlotte: Oh! If Wolf were here [a bell dings], he'd be reunited with Fox!
Aquamarine: Eugh, don't see why Wolf [a bell dings] of all people needs to be here.
Ivy: Why are you voting him off? If you like Wolf [a bell dings], leave him in. Why is there dinging?
Jasper: Because you keep saying Wolf. [a bell dings] Oh, come on!
Chris: That's four votes for Wolf.
Usagi: Okay, everyone, no one say the name of you know who.
Fiona: Who?
Usagi: Wolf! [a bell dings] Shoot!
Charlotte: Why can't I say Wolf again? [a bell dings]
Fox: Everyone, stop saying "it"! Pick a different name!
Parrot: BAWK, Wolf! [a bell dings]
Chris: Seven votes; Wolf.
Fox: Oh, come on, that's a parrot, it can't count!
Chris: So long as you keep saying names, it counts.
Parrot: BAWK, Potty wanna Wolf. [a bell dings]
Chris: Eight votes!
Ivy: Someone grab that parrot!
[Robin, Fox, and Ivy stand up to nab the parrot while Applejack throws her hat at it, followed by Robin. The parrot squawks in surprise as it tries to evade its captors, going up to one of the palm trees]
Parrot: BAWK, Wolf, BAWK!
[a bell dings]
Chris: Nine!
All: No!
Chris: PSYCHE! Just kidding, no one's getting voted off tonight, I had you all going, didn't I? [laughs heartily while ignoring the icy glares from the campers, even Charlotte quirks a brow]
Applejack: That wasn't plum funny in the slightest!
Chris: For your reactions, yes, it was. And with that, we had five and five remain. Tune in next week to see the next dramatic episode of Total…Drama…Island!
Parrot: BAWK, Wolf!
All: Shut up!
(Fade to Credits)