Total Despair Academy Chapter 5: Funhouse Frazzle (Part 3), a Total Drama series + Danganronpa Crossover fanfic

Chapter 5: Funhouse Frazzle (Part 3 - Starved n' Smashed)

(Coyler's note: "That's a horse...in a hole,oh hohoho you could...say a whole horse...TO EVEN,ahem TO EVEN TAKE IT ANOTHER STEP! You've got a whole horse in in that hole BUT WAIT YOU'VE GOTTEN A WHOLE HORSE IN THE HOLE WHICH ONE COULD CONSIDER A HORSE HOLE SO! SO! You have a HORSE HOLE TO WHICH YOU ALSO HAVE A WHOLE HORSE IN YOUR HORSE HOLE YOUR HORSE HOLE HAS A WHOLE HORSE! That's CRAZY BRO!" - Some random JoJo fan from Reddit. Coyler,out!)

*Grape House*

Alarms could be heard ringing out through the halls of Grape House. Bridgette was in her room and yawned as she woke up. It was 11am,the usual time that the clock in her room,the other rooms and the lounge went off to allow everyone to be at Grape Tower for Monokuma's boot camp. "Dang it,this whole wake up call routine is really messing with my natural clock" Bridgette complained. She got dressed into her usual shirt,hoodie and shorts before leaving her room. She waved at Ella and Heather who were in the lounge shutting off the large wall clock. "Morning girls" said greeted. "Hey Bridgette" Heather yawned. "A fine morning" added Ella. Bridgette stretched her arms, "Did you two wake up Scarlett and Lindsay yet?". Ella shook her head, "No,we've only just woken up". "Hmm,that's weird" said Heather,who was holding the clock to shut it off, "Looks like the screws are missing,I was able to just slip off the back cover". "We should probably get a move on" said Ella,standing up from the couch. She walked past Bridgette towards the deluxe rooms and knocked on the doors,sticking her head into either room to wake Lindsay and Scarlett. The two girls could be heard groaning and mumbling in annoyance but after a few minutes they were dressed and closing the doors behind them. Bridgette struck a pose, "Looks like that's all of us. The guys are probably all waiting for us,so let's go!".

The girls all walked down the stairs. "Seriously wish we didn't have to do this everyday" complained Scarlett. "Same here,I'm withering away into dust over here. Having to get up early to exercise really isn't helping" agreed Heather. "Don't sweat it guys,just give it another day or two. We'll get outta soon for sure!" said Lindsay. "That's the spirit,always think about the positives!" laughed Bridgette,high fiving Lindsay. Reaching the bottom of the stairs,they walked through the arch to Grape Hall. As they apporached the door,Scarlett noticed something. "Hey,check it out. Looks like someone busted up the button?" she mused,looking at the dented switch with some screws removed. "Oh I'm sure it'll buff out" Ella said quickly. She picked it up and clicked it back into the wall. "See,all good" she smiled. "Huh. Weird" Bridgette muttered to herself. Pressing the button,the doors could be heard grinding as the gears inside the wall struggled to open. They cracked open slightly,but weren't wide enough to enter. "It's jammed on something" said Heather, "Looks like someone tied up rope around the handles". "Why would someone do that?" asked Lindsay. "Beats me" said Bridgette, "Maybe the guys thought it would be a funny prank". "Some prank,absolutely hilarious" scoffed Scarlett, "Look at my face. You'd swear I'd just seen two identical rocks in the middle of the desert or something". "If we can't get in then maybe we should just all go back to bed" added Ella,who began to walk away. Heather shook her head and pulled out her nail file, "Why bother? Monokuma will just kill us if we don't show up. I'll use this to cut through the rope,one of you girls go over to Strawberry House and see if we can just get in that way". "Good thinking! I'll head over and see what's going on" said Bridgette. "Ooh,I can come too!" Lindsay replied.

They walked over to the elevator while Heather continued to saw through the rope binding the doors. At the elevator,Bridgette went to press the button but noticed something. "Yo Lindsay,check this out. This one's completely busted up too" Bridgette called out. Lindsay put a finger to her chin, "Really? Let me have a look". She leaned down a bit and examined it. Unlike the Grape Tower button,this one was completely smashed to pieces. "Oh no! Does this mean we can't get to the guys?" Lindsay asked. Bridgette flipped her ponytail in circles with her fingers, "Seems so,without the call button we can't bring the elevator over or open the doors to get in". The two girls pondered on what to do,when Lindsay had a lightbulb moment. "I got it! We can use the phone in the lounge to call the guys!" she exclaimed. "Ayyy,nice! Definitely a big brain moment" Bridgette smiled as the two shared another high five. "HEY! The elevator is busted so we're ringing the guys from the lounge!" Bridgette called out as they ran towards the stairs. "Yep,good for you" Heather murmured as she kept hacking away. Once in the lounge Bridgette pressed the red button and picked up the phone. The ringing started and soon it was picked up on the other end. Bridgette could hear a droning alarm and the voices of Topher,Brick and Alejandro complaining in the lounge. "HELLO?" Alejandro yelled down the phone. "Alejandro! This is Bridgette!" she yelled. "BRIDGETTE? HEY,LISTEN,WE'RE KINDA BUSY HERE! THE CLOCK ALARM WENT OFF IN OUR LOUNGE FOR US TO GET UP BUT WE CAN'T TURN IT OFF!" Alejandro explained. "Huh? It's only going off now? But it's 12am,why'd it go off late?" Bridgette pondered. "WE'LL GET THIS RINGING TO STOP AND THEN CALL YOU BACK!" Alejandro shouted before the line went dead. "Wha-? The bastard hung up on me" Bridgette sulked as she put the phone down. "I NEARLY GOT IT!" Heather shouted from downstairs. "Cool,Heather nearly has the door open" Lindsay smiled,as the jogged off downstairs. "Hey wait!" Bridgette called. Lindsay didn't hear her. Bridgette shook her head, "Man,the day's only started but keeps getting weirder and weirder". Once back at Grape Hall,the girls watched as Heather finally broke through the rope. The doors shut again,so Heather hit the button to open them up again. However,it might've been better if the doors had stayed shut and locked.

-Bathed in green light from Grape Tower,a fallen pillar and broken stones were soaked in fresh crimson coloured blood. Lying in the middle of the tower was the decapitated and broken armed body of Lightning Lynx,the Ultimate Ultimate Quarterback-

The girls all screamed at the gory crime scene. Once again,another one of their classmates had been murdered,which meant somehow had crumbled out of hunger to commit murder. "Oh my god...this is awful!" Lindsay cried. "What is? The murder or the smell?" asked Scarlett as she held her nose. "Both I guess" replied Bridgette. Microphone static could be heard coming from the loud speakers mounted on the wall.

"A BODY HAS BEEN DISCOVERED! A FIFTH CASE OF MURDER,WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED THAT? OH WELL,IT'S EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE TIME AGAIN! INVESTIGATION AND THEN...DRUM ROLL PLEASE...TRIAL TIME! HAPPY SEARCHING FOLKS,AND GOOD LUCK. AFTER WATCHING THIS CASE UNFOLD,YOU'LL DEFINITELY NEED TO PRAY FOR SOME LUCK TO FIND THIS KILLER. SPOILER ALERT,IT'S SOMEONE YOU'D NEVER EXPECT!"

"So that isn't just a really fancy prop?" asked Bridgette, "Someone here really butchered Lightning like that?". "It would appear so. Butchered is probably the right term to use,whoever did him busted him up real good" said Heather,looking at Lightning's caved in skull,which was lying away from his body. "Well look at the bright side,at least we'll get to eat again" added Ella. "Is that all you can think about? One of our friends has just been murdered!" Bridgette exclaimed. "Murdered indeed,but the lady is right! You'll all be able to eat once more!" cheered Monokuma as he walked into the tower. "About time you showed up" said Scarlett, "Where's the food at?". Monokuma shook his head, "Not yet kiddos,not yet. You won't receive your meal until you've finished investigating before the class trial" he tutted. "Aw man,I was hoping to finally get a bite to eat" Lindsay sighed. "You could always take a chomp outta Lightning's twisted arm. I doubt he'll be needing it again" Monokuma chuckled. "Was there something you actually wanted?" asked Ella. Monokuma laughed and pulled out some ipads, "Mhm you bet! Here you go,the Monokuma File for this case! I should probably head up to Strawberry House to give the guys their files to!". "You mean 'over' not 'up',right?" Heather asked. Monokuma didn't hear her and quickly exited. Bridgette sighed, "Guess we should probably get to investigating" she said,as the others nodded.

Bridgette monologue: The victim of murder was Lightning Lynx the Ultimate Quarterback. Time of death is stated to be...11am? What?! That's gotta be a typo or something. A-anyway,we kicked off our investigation by looking around Grape Tower. A lot of weird stuff was found to say the least. For starters,there was rope tied around the door leading to Strawberry House. I guess the killer was trying to stop anyone from finding the body which is kinda weird. There was also some weapons on the ground,a clean hammer and bloody machete,could any of these have been used to decapitate Lightning? One of the pillars was also knocked over with loads of pieces on the ground. Along with that,Scarlett found a broken doorknob on the ground in front of the doors to Strawberry House. Considering all the doors have their doorknobs attached,I wonder where this one came from? I also decided to suck it up and check out the corpse,gross but it had to be done. Lightning was in bad shape. His head was completely seperated from his body,though the seperation wasn't very clean. One of his arms had also come off while the other was twisted all the round. On his left foot I noticed a piece of wire string or something that was tied to his ankle with a loop on the other end. I wonder what it could all mean?

Heather: I took the liberty of searching around the rest of the first floor,dorms and third floor. According to Bridgette and Lindsay the elevator button was smashed to bits. Looking for myself they were definitely right. The killer seems to have been going to real lengths to split the two houses apart at all cost. Going upstairs with Lindsay we remembered something to do with the clocks. The clock in the lounge seemed to be on time,but for some reason the bedside clocks in the dorm rooms were all around five to ten minutes fast. How strange,very strange. On the third floor there was nothing of interest. A pile of books was knocked over in the Monokuma Archive. We also saw what looked to be a metal trap door in the ceiling,had a key hole in it. Lindsay let me stand on her shoulders but we couldn't get it to budge. Our assumption is that it's the entry way that Monokuma uses to get in and out,there's probably another hatch on the third floor of Strawberry House too.

Having finished investigating everything they could inside of Grape House and Grape Tower,the girls met back in the lounge. "Man,I wonder how the guys are doing" Bridgette sighed to herself.

*Strawberry House - Earlier that Day*

11am,the normal time everybody woke up inside of Strawberry House. Inside the lounge,Topher,Brick and Alejandro were in the lounge losing their minds as the large clock wouldn't stop ringing. "C'mon man,turn that shit off!" Topher yelled. "What an annoying noise,can't we just smash it?" asked Brick as he stood by the doorway to the lounge. "I'm trying my hardest here guys" Alejandro snapped as he moved his hand around inside the back of the clock, "Thank God this thing didn't have any screws on the back. As the boys continued to argue,the phone suddenly began to ring. "Oh,phone call coming in" said Alejandro, "Catch". He threw the clock to Topher,who grumbled as he placed it on the table so that he and Brick could get a better look. Wiping his forehead,Alejandro picked up the phone. "HELLO?" Alejandro yelled down the phone. "Alejandro! This is Bridgette!" she yelled. "BRIDGETTE? HEY,LISTEN,WE'RE KINDA BUSY HERE! THE CLOCK ALARM WENT OFF IN OUR LOUNGE FOR US TO GET UP BUT WE CAN'T TURN IT OFF!" Alejandro explained, "WE'LL GET THIS RINGING TO STOP AND THEN CALL YOU BACK!" he shouted before putting down the phone. "Who was that?" asked Brick as he punched the large bells on top of the clock. "It was just Bridgette,no idea what she was ringing us about but I told her we'd call back later" Alejandro explained. Topher shrugged, "Why bother ringing them back? We'll see them now in a few minutes". "True,but you know what women are like. Promise to call them back and don't,they'll hold it against you forever" Brick joked,making the others laugh.

After a few more minutes of struggling they decided to just rip out the wires and finally shut down the clock. "At fucking last" Brick muttered. It was now 11:25am,meaning that obviously they were 25 minutes late to Monokuma's Boot Camp. "Weird,you'd think we should've been killed already for being late" said Topher. "Maybe Monokuma slept in?" suggested Alejandro. "Whatever it is,we might still have time to go. Someone get Harold and Lightning up so we can go" ordered Brick. "Yo,Lightning ain't in his room" Topher called out. "Are you sure?" asked Alejandro walking over. "Yeah,no sign of him. Maybe he's already at Grape Tower?" Topher wondered. Brick nodded, "A plausible theory. Let's be sure that Harold is here though". Walking over and knocking on the door,Harold didn't come to the door. "Is he in there?" Topher asked. "He would've come to the door by now" said Brick. "I'll take a peak just in case" said Topher. He cracked open the door and was relieved to see that the ginger nerd was sound asleep in his bed. "Jesus,how'd he sleep through all that noise? Surely the alarms would've at least woken him up?" Brick questioned. Alejandro shook his head, "False,the deluxe rooms are sound-proof,remember?". "Oh yeah,I totally forgot about that!" Topher exclaimed. He stepped into the room and walked over to the bed so he could wake Harold. "Ugh...huh? Who's there?" Harold muttered. "It's the rest of the guys,obviously" said Brick, "Now c'mon soldier,on you're feet" he ordered,picking Harold up from under his shoulders so he could stand up. Harold rubbed his sleepy eyes, "Alright alright,lemme get changed" he groaned. As he walked over to his drawer,a voice came over the intercom.

The guys all gasped. "What?! Another murder?!" Topher yelled. "Aw no,not again!" Harold exclaimed. "Wait,Lightning wasn't in his room when we went to get him up...you don't think it could be him?" asked Alejandro grimly. Brick slammed a fist into the palm of his hand, "No time for lollygagging men! Quick,to Grape Tower!" he yelled,as the four men charged out of Harold's room and downstairs to the elevator. Arriving at the elevator,Harold was about to press the button when he noticed something. "Hey,the button's been smashed!" he pointed out. Like in Grape House,the call button was completely destroyed to prevent the guys from going to Grape House. "Hmm,this isn't good at all" said Alejandro, "How about we go to Strawberry Tower?". The others nodded and they ran to Strawberry Tower. Upon reaching they were also shocked to learn that not only was the button broken but the doors were tied shut with rope. Unlike the Grape Tower button,this one could not be repaired. "Shit,what do we do?" Topher asked. "You can get to investigating!" a voice squeaked. Turning around they saw Monokuma holding the Monokuma Files for the new murder case. Brick saluted, "Good morning Principal Sir,we seem unable to access Grape House. Apologies for not being in time for your boot camp this morning". Monokuma gave a salute back, "No worries Brickster,the murder of Lightning has excused you all from partaking in my boot camp ever again!" he explained. The guys were all shocked. "So it WAS Lightning who was murdered!" Topher exclaimed. "Damn,what a rip" Harold sighed. "Incredibly sad that we've lost another one of our comrades" Alejandro said sadly.

"Sad it may be,but now I'll give you all a trusty Monokuma File so you can investigate!" Monokuma cheered,as he tossed out the files. "But we can't even access the crime scene,how is this a fair trial?" Alejandro scoffed. "Who cares about fairness? The killer has used everything to their advantage to get some food and save their life!" Monokuma yelled, "You've got some time before the wonderful class trial as always,so goooooood luck!" he cheered as he waddled off. Topher face palmed,well this is just great. How can we possibly search when we can't investigate the body or anything in Grape House?" he sulked. Harold put a hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry man,it'll be all good. We've solved every other murder so far. We just gotta go Plus Ultra!" he yelled. "Your're right Harold,we just need to put our heads together" agreed Alejandro. "Always best to stay positive in dire situations!" added Brick. Topher thought for a moment and then smirked. He stood up straight, "What was I saying before? You guys are right. Plus Ultra,right?". "Plus Ultra!" the others cheered,raising their fists into the air. "Okay,let's get to work!" Topher thought.

Topher monologue: The victim is Lightning Lynx. The time of death seems to be 11am,which is quite strange as it means he was killed while we were all dealing with the clock in the lounge. Could he have been killed by one of the girls in Grape House? Looking at the clocks,they all seemed to be the same though for some reason Lightning's clock was seemingly set back by an hour. Either one clock was purposely set back or every clock is fast. I also found something quite strange,as inside of Alejandro's room there was a paper bag in the bin and some brown crumbs on the floor. What could it mean? Did Alejandro get food,maybe for killing Lightning? No! I refuse to believe it! After checking the dorms,Harold and Brick went upstairs while myself and Alejandro went back to the first floor to examine the buttons on the doors to Strawberry Tower and the elevator to Grape House. The buttons were completely bashed in and probably couldn't be fixed,most likely they'd need to be replaced. The killer was probably trying to seperate both houses to make the case harder to solve. Along with that,Strawberry Tower's doors were tied closed tightly with some rope. After that,we really had nothing left to find or places to search...except one place - The Final Dead Room.

Harold monologue: Myself and Topher decided to be brave and ask Monokuma to unlock The Final Dead Room. Alejandro and Brick heavily advised against it,but we knew that someone had to go. I was gonna be Topher's backup. Monokuma appeared after we all shouted his name a few times,to which he opened the door and led us inside. What was inside seemed to be a really tough Escape Room. According to Monokuma it involved literally taking apart the entire room and an intense game of luck involving a game of Russian Roulette with five out of six bullets loaded into a pistol. No way was I gonna try and do that with my luck,I'd be dead for sure,even if I did beat the rest! Unlocking the door on the other side,we entered a place called 'The Octogon'. No idea why it was named that,but I guess the name doesn't really matter. 'The Octogon' was full of loads of stuff! Weapons like hammers,guns,swords,etc. There was also things like chains and rope! Monokuma left us,while Topher and I kept looking around. Topher found a trap door but he couldn't go through to investigate. I kept looking around and found a small window on the wall. When I looked through I say something quite interesting to say the least - A large strone rectangle and a giant tower with a forrest surounding it...but there was nothing behind the tower. If we're in Strawberry House,then where the hell is Grape House?

With their investigation seemingly over,Topher and Harold left The Final Dead Room. Alejandro and Brick greeted them fondly as they exited. "Find anything interesting?" Brick asked. Topher nodded, "Yeah,a lot of stuff that could've been used as murder weapons. A trap door too,maybe it goes to a basement that Monokuma hides in?". Harold was about to speak,but before he could a quiet ding could be heard as the elevator doors swung open. Monokuma could then be heard speaking over the intercom.

"WELP,I'M SUUUUUPER BORED! DETECTIVE TIME IS UP,SO Y'KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? IIIIIIIT'S TRIAL TIME! ALL STUDENTS PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE FIRST FLOOR OF GRAPE HOUSE SO YOU CAN GET TO THE TRIAL GROUNDS!".

The intercom shut off. "Guess it's time guys" said Brick, "It seems we've gotta go". Alejandro nodded, "It would appear that's the case". Topher pushed up his hair, "Well...what are we waiting for? Let's move" he sighed. Harold adjusted his glasses and posed, "Plus Ultra dudes,Plus Ultra". The other three smiled. "Plus Ultra" they said together. Walking into the elevator,they waited in silence as the elevator clanked to Grape House. Eventually they reached their destination as the doors opened. The girls were standing in the room,and were happy to see the guys all arrive safe and sound. "Thank God you guys are all right!" Lindsay exclaimed happily,as she hugged all the four guys. "Nice *cough* to see *cough* you too Lindsay" spluttered Topher. "Just so you know,we went in-depth with the investigation here so there's no need to worry" Heather smirked,folding her arms. "I'm sure it'll be all good" Harold chuckled. "As long as we all manage to operate on the same wave lengths everything will be just fine" said Scarlett,as Bridgette nodded in agreement. Brick and Ella looked at each other. Brick took a pause before saying, "Alright?". Ella paused too,eventually whispering "Yep". The two walked over and hugged each other. "So...how are we gonna get to the court room?" Topher asked.

As if right on cue,a loud rumbling could be heard. Suddenly on the other side of the room,a huge stone sculpture of Monokuma erupted from the ground,sending debris all over the place. Luckily it didn't hit any of the students. While still shocked,things got somewhat better when Monokuma exited the sculputre holding a brown paper bag. "Bongiorno kiddos! Before we go and get trialing,I've got snacks!" he announced cheerfully. "FINALLY!" the students all yelled happily as they held their food and treated it with great respect. It was nothing special,just rasberry jam sandwiches on white loafer bread,but to the students it was if it was food prepared by Tonio Trendy himself. When deprived of food for so long,anything can taste God-like. Finishing their food,they swalloed their fear and walked inside the large sculpture as Monokuma bekoned them to come forth.

Topher monologue: And so,we began descending into the darkness once more. Once more a friend of ours was murdered in cold blood in the name of survival. But why did it have to be murder? I would've much preferred if we all just starved to death...at least it would mean this wretched killing game wouldn't continue. Lightning Lynx,the Ultimate Quarterback wasn't exactly the smartest around but he was strong and proud of himself,his abilities and his achievements. But now a killer is proud of their achievements,for killing our classmate in cold blood! While they've seemingly created an impossible case to solve,I can't and WON'T back down now! In the name of Lightning,in his honour,I'll work with the others to find his murderer and bring them to justice. It's time for the Fifth Class Trial!

-TO BE CONTINUED-

(Coyler's note: Well this is neato. A new upload finished in a relatively good time! Lightning being killed off was honestly sad because I enjoyed writing him,but this was his time to go and I think he had a really solid run. The killer is also someone I'll be sad to see go,but again it's just the right time to send them off. But who exactly is Lightning's killer? What was their full plot to kill? And just WHAT was their motive? Find out next time in the exciting Fifth Class Trial of Total Despair Academy! Coyler,out!)