Chapter 4:

The Calm Before the Storm

"The days ahead will only become more difficult. More difficult indeed." Dumbledore's smile twisted into a cruel smirk and suddenly the blue eyes that were so familiar changed into scarlet slits. Ropes bound her arms, dragging her to the ground, forcing her wand from her hand, and left her powerless. This was the end.

"Lily?" She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and instinctively found her wand. Her face was pressed against a hard, sticky surface covered with the smell of Earl Grey tea and ink. Which is not very typical of holding cells.

"Lily?" The redhead straightened and found, much to her relief, that she was in the tea room of St. Mungos, not being held captive by Voldemort. She turned her attention to the hand on her shoulder and discovered that it belonged to a blonde haired, light blue eyed woman.

"Edith? What are you doing here?" She relaxed the grip on her wand.

"Well you never came back after your lunch break. I assumed that you had," She leaned closer to her, her eyes scanning the room, checking to see if anyone was in earshot, "other business to take care of. But your shift will be over in exactly, " She glanced down at his watch, "five minutes. So I decided that I better remind you. Good thing I did too." Lily hastily jumped up and began gathering up the many sheets of parchment she had fallen asleep on.

"I am so sorry that I left you to deal with the ward by yourself! I only meant to be here for a moment. I didn't sleep very well last night. Did any of the superiors come in?" Edith backed away slightly to give her room as Lily tried to shuffle all the pieces of paper in a neat stack.

"A couple did, but I covered for you." She faced her, holding the mound of papers in her arms. One got loose and floated to the ground by her feet. Edith picked it up, catching the words dreamlike and stable condition penned in her loopy handwriting.

"I suppose I can't ask you what this is for."

"No, not this time." Edith nodded at that.

"Thank you so much, though. I owe you one!" She said to Edith as she hurriedly made her way to the staircase.

It had been a week since the three Phoenixes were transferred to St. Mungos. Two weeks since the ambush. Because of the recent loss, any further missions were put on hold for the moment. The meeting today would decide if the Order would continue, and Lily was determined not to be late for a change. Because she was the only Order member who worked in St. Mungos, she was charged with the task of reporting on their current condition. All through her lunch hour she wrote and rewrote so many drafts, and at this point, rushing down the many flights of wooden stairs to get to the witch's locker room to change, she was considering winging it. Sirius would be proud of her at least.

While it was good to be back home, out of the high stress atmosphere, not having the weight of three of her friends' lives solely on her shoulders, she couldn't help this nagging voice in the back of her mind that said this wasn't over with. She couldn't stop the nightmares. She couldn't shake the feeling that this was just the calm before the storm. Lily Evans was becoming paranoid. Every time a door closed she jumped. Every time she went into her apartment, she expected to see a friend bleeding all over her favorite chair protesting that they were all right. Every time she stepped outside she watched for an attack. Any moment now she'd start yelling "constant vigilance" and carrying around her own flask, she thought with a sad smile.

It was the waiting around for something to happen that drove her mad. It felt like watching her mischievous five year old cousin with a balloon, Lily decided. With Kevin, you never knew when he would pop it or how. You could only stare at the boy with his wicked grin and try to steel yourself for that moment when the thin latex membrane was punctured, and all the air trapped inside rushed out, leaving the mangled, flat skin behind.

The redhead arrived at the locker room, and quickly traded her lime green robes out for a pair of worn muggle jeans, a light grey long sleeve shirt, her black peacoat, and a lovely blue scarf she had gotten from Remus for Christmas. Lily then proceeded to stuff the papers into her large tote bag. She thanked Merlin that she had thought to take a shower this morning and had plaited it into one long thick braid to keep off her face as she worked. Her fingers rapidly unraveled the braid, letting her hair fall into natural waves down her back. She glanced into the mirror as she made her way out and felt that for the first time in a month, she looked halfway decent.

Lily found the back exit door, wishing for the millionth time that they could use the fireplaces in St. Mungos for more than just emergencies. Bloody Budget cuts. She stepped out, and after only taking a couple steps, was nearly trampled by a rather plump muggle woman with very red lipstick and very large teeth. Her husband was trailing after her, carrying at least five different shopping bags. He smiled apologetically at Lily as he passed, grunting in response to his wife's continuous babble

After dodging at least ten more muggles, Lily finally reached a safe apparition point. Picturing a small summer cottage, Lily took a deep breath and turned on her heel. With a pop, she was knee deep in snow a couple feet away from her target. Looking at the home, she was reminded of her first meeting here. She whispered to James right before they went in, saying how she wasn't sure it could hold them all. He snorted at her, then threw his arm around her shoulders and laughed as he told her that there was indeed such a thing called magic. She blinked and forced her thoughts away from that summer where it was green, alive and full of promise, and refocused on the present. Finally getting to the door, she tugged her scarf a little tighter around her neck and turned the cold metal knob, wishing that she remembered gloves.

The redhead sighed as a wave of warmth engulfed her the second she came in, slowly returning the feeling into her numb fingers and the tip of her nose. The entryway was painted a lovely pale yellow and a coat rack stood in one corner with a patched, worn brown coat accompanied by several others. Lily touched it as she hung her own on a hook and smiled. Remus was here. She made a note to herself to invite Sirius, and Peter back to the karaoke afterwards to catch up.

With Dumbledore's responsibilities being the Headmaster of Hogwarts, he was often absent for Order meetings and very rarely involved directly in a mission. Because of that, Moody had always naturally assumed the leadership position. Now that he was indisposed, there had been rumors that perhaps Caradoc Dearborn or Edgar Bones would fill that void. Lily hoped that Edgar would. Caradoc Deaborn had four young children; he rarely talked about them, and wouldn't stand to hear of getting an easier mission or less risky task, but still. He wasn't the only one with children. Arthur Weasley and Molly Weasley ( nee Prewett) had four children, all under the age of 10. It was Molly's brothers that brought them into the Order. Dedalus Diggle was actually a grandfather, and he was helping raise some of his grandchildren. One of his daughters had "mysteriously" disappeared early in the war, and it was his search for answers that brought him to Dumbledore. Marlene McKinnon was a single mom to a precocious three year old; her husband had been killed in a Death Eater attack. He was a muggle, he wasn't even the intended target, and the Ministry of Magic didn't bother to announce his death. The next week, Marlene showed up to an Order meeting, and sent her little girl to her muggle Grandma in Ireland.

All of them had lost people, and all of them had people they could still lose. What happened to Alice, Moody, and Fabian was just more proof of that. Looking around the room at everyone who had arrived, Lily saw straight backs, lifted heads, gritted teeth. They were angry, but they were not beaten.

Lily spotted Sirius talking quietly to Remus at the end of the table, and went to take her usual seat on the other side of him.

"...no I haven't heard or seen much of him lately, but that's not saying a lot since I haven't really seen anyone recently." Remus's voice took on a note of bitterness.

"Who are you talking about?" Lily asked as she sat down.

"Pete." Sirius said.

"He's probably just late. You know how he is with time. Remus, it's so good to see you! We need to catch up. Do you want to go karaoke after the meeting?" She asked. Her gaze was drawn to the long cut along Remus's jaw, and her fingers itched to fix it.

"Nice to see you too, Lily. Will we be allowed back, do you think? I'm for it as long as you don't make us play that drinking game again. My liver can't take it," He joked. She turned to question Sirius, and was surprised to find that he had gone quiet, as had the rest of the room. Thinking Dumbledore had stood up to start the meeting, she bent down and pulled out a piece of now wrinkled parchment paper with her notes. Then she heard it: the sound of a person walking across the carpeted floor.

"I don't believe it." Sirius mumbled, more to himself. Lily faced him to smirk victoriously, guessing that it was Peter, late yet again like she said he would be.

"He always did like dramatic entrances." Remus said softly, shaking his head. Lily found that an odd thing to say about self conscious Peter and still smiling, twisted around to greet him and flinched, banging her knees against the table, creating a loud boom that resonated throughout the room. Instead of the pudgy, short, watery eyed man she expected to see, there, walking across the room with his gaze resolutely fixed forward was James Potter. The balloon had popped.

And Lily felt like she had been hit with Petrificus Totalus—she couldn't hear, she couldn't move, she couldn't breathe—she could only watch.