"I just wish I was able to heal all of them. I wish I could do more". Leaving was emotionally taxing for Raven. She knew it was going to be rough, but she did not think it was going to hit her so personally.
"Yeah…I know what you mean Rae. It sucks, no one deserves any of that, especially kids.
But you know you can't play nurse to every sick person. It takes a toll on you".
Raven arched her eyebrows in confusion, "What do you mean?".
Beast Boy looked at her with sympathetic eyes, "I know that you heal by literally taking the pain away, and you heal yourself after".
Raven never told anyone this, Robin did find this out eventually through their mind link, but she always told him that it was no big deal, and that she would try to reserve it for moments where it dire.
"Did Robin tell you?".
"No. I figured it out this one time you healed my broken nose done by Billy Numerous. Your nose twitched, only slightly of course, but I was able to notice. After that I started checking your body language when you would heal the others, your body would react here and there. That is why I never really ask you to heal any of my injuries".
Raven felt her cheeks flush ever so slightly at the thought of Beast Boy studying her body long enough to notice one of her secrets. It was not necessarily a secret either, but she knew if the rest of the team found out they likely would not be so open of her healing them, or at least feel guilt which she wouldn't want either. Raven never even thought about Beast Boy figuring it out though, she just assumed he was being stubborn refusing her to heal him whenever she offered. "It really is no big deal, I can heal myself. Sure, it spends some energy, but it saves you guys time and pain".
"It is a big deal to me, Rae. Just because you can take the pain does not mean I want to transfer it to you. Besides, I have been working on using my powers more effectively".
She couldn't helped be intrigued. "How so?".
Beast Boy flashed a proud and snarky grin, "Well I am glad you asked", where Raven responded with an eyeroll. "There are some animals that can regenerate and heal themselves pretty fast, I have been relying on those characteristics to heal myself faster".
Raven couldn't help but be impressed, she really did not give him enough credit.
"I was not aware of that, but that does explain a lot now that I really think of it. After a battle you seem to be much more unaffected than I expect you to be. That is really impressive Beast Boy".
Beast Boy overly dramatically touched his chest, "I impressed the almighty demon queen herself? Maybe I do have one too many concussions".
"Ha. Ha. Take the compliment and shut up Beast Boy -".
"Gar. You can call me Gar when it's just us".
That certainly caught her off guard. "Why?"
"Well, my name is Garfield, and I was never a fan of the name, but a nickname growing up was Gar".
Raven did not know much about Garfield's past, not because she was not interested, just because he did not openly disclose it. She had to admit, she didn't know if it was because he chose not to talk about it, or if it was because no one asked.
They learned Starfire's real name back when they visited Tamaran when Galfore announced her arrival. They of course knew about Blackfire and her mistreatment towards Starfire.
Starfire once told them, with Cyborg's permission of course, about his real name when he went undercover at the Hive. He showed the team the pictures of his room of how he looked before his accident, which is something he was evidently still not comfortable talking about. It did not take long for the rest of the team to find out who his father was since he was a well renowned STARS researcher.
Robin disclosed his true name not long ago, and it was only because Beast Boy once overheard one of Batman's calls.
"Dude, your name is Dick? No wonder you still go by a random bird".
Said the guy that shared his name with an obese orange cat.
When it came to Beast Boy however, all she knew about him was his real name apparently and his history with the Doom Patrol, which he still never gave exact details about even with all of Cyborg's insistent questions. She assumed it had to with Mento considering their experience with them. She was able to feel the warmth and affection he had for Rita, especially when they hugged towards the end of the mission. She was also able to feel the motherly emotions radiating from her. Negative Man and Robot Man where also emanating care towards Beast Boy, but nothing could overshadow the immense love from Rita.
Raven could not help being slightly jealous during the moment, but she did feel happy for Beast Boy. At least he had people to look out for him during his Doom Patrol days.
She wanted to know more about Beast Boy (or should she mentally refer to him as Gar now?), but she didn't want to bring up hurt memories or intrude. She also didn't want to ask him now since she was supposed to be avoiding him. You know, aside from the whole volunteering with him the whole day thing.
"We call each other by our superhero names this whole time, why the sudden change?".
"Well not exactly. I mean, Cyborg and I call each other nicknames, Starfire too. I call her just Star at times and I've overheard Robin call her Kory here and there. You know I call you Rae even though you don't like it. So, I am just suggesting you to call me something else other than Beast Boy when we just talk. Besides, I would rather you call me Gar than Cyborg's green bean nickname".
"Hm. I understand what you are coming from, but have you told anyone else to call you Gar as well?".
Beast Boy paused for a bit and stared at Raven absently for a bit before he revealed, "Uhhh not exactly, but I wouldn't mind if others began to call me Gar either".
"So why me?".
Raven immediately regretted asking. She was able to feel his hesitation and mixed feelings once she asked. Her own feelings became harder to interpret when he responded with,
"…Because you're more than your superhero identity to me, so I hope you see me beyond just Beast Boy".
He regained his seriousness as soon as he saw how surprised that statement made her.
"But yeah Raven, I wish I could help them more too. You can't heal them all, you would weaken yourself too much. You already sacrifice your life every day protecting everyone else". Garfield sighed, "I just hate how unfair the world could be to them".
"I agree, the world can be cruel. I am glad that he has his family there to be with him through it all".
"Yeah, especially that Brooke. She reminds me so much of you when I met her, I knew you two would get along?".
Raven raised a curious brow. "Oh really? How where you so sure?"
"She is so sassy like you, which I admit did take me as a surprise, but it reaffirmed to me that you guys would get along, even if it would be at my dispense. But despite the tough girl look, she is so full of selflessness like you. You are the most selfless person I know. You would rather take everyone else's pain and have you endure it without complaining once. You came with me to a building full of over excited children just to make their day, even though I know it must have also taken a toll on you".
Raven felt her face heat up a bit at the compliment. She avoided his gaze but responded, "Thank you, Beast B – I mean Gar".
Raven did not know what went through her mind or body, but she then approached Beast Boy and lightly grabbed one of his hands into hers. "You sacrifice your life every day too. I guess that is all we can really do. But what you are doing is just great, Gar. Really. I don't know how many times I can join because I hate to admit, it did take a lot of energy being around so many people, let alone children. But I would still be open to joining you another time. I hate to admit it, but I don't regret it".
Garfield listened to everything Raven said, but it took a while to process everything. He was too busy trying to translate her holding his hand at the moment. When he noticed the awkward pause, he finally responded with, "I really am glad you came, Rae. I would love you to come again with me in future too".
He lightly squeezed her hands with the other hand. "We still need to talk though".