They didn't talk for three days and that was slowly killing Clint. Natasha dealt with it the same way she did everything else, by adding a smooth line to her leg for every mistake – one for every hour they didn't talk. It wasn't like she was addicted, it just helped to keep her mind off things, especially since she had to avoid the training floor for fear of running into him. It took three days, and even then, they only spoke because Fury had called the pair in for a mission. Natasha acted the same as she always did in front of Fury, even making a few jokes at Clint's expense, but when they reached the helicarrier and took off en route to Brazil, she turned off her comms and ignored his pleas for her to talk to him, only turning them back on once they landed.

"Target locked. Your left." She said briefly, swerving to avoid a car as she drove a stolen motorcycle down a rural road. His arrow soared past her as she passed the target and looped back to retrieve the unconscious woman. Fury had not given many details, but her blood had run cold when she locked eyes with the woman and realized who exactly SHIELD was targeting with this mission. She was reluctant to collect the woman's body and considered defying orders and killing her instead of bringing her back to SHIELD.

"Tash, let's go." Clint's voice always pulled her out of these deep thoughts. Today was no exception as she lugged the woman onto the bike and sped toward their transport shakily. Clint knew something was off, he could see it even from the roof of the decrepit building he was perched on. She was shaking and breathing rapidly before they even made it to the helicarrier and this was markedly different than the other times. Natasha was still present and aware enough to know they were on a SHIELD mission, but she was definitely panicking.

"Tash?" Clint asked gently.

"I need…" she said between breaths.

"You need what, Tash? Talk to me." Clint secured the woman with cuffs in a seat in the back of the helicarrier and set the course.

"Tower. I need to get to the Tower."

"We are heading there right after we deliver this bitch to Fury and give a mission report. I need you to calm down so we can do that." He tried to gently guide Natasha to sit in the copilot seat, but she would not budge.

"No… I can't… I need…."

"Tash, what do you need from the tower? I can have Stark bring it to headquarters and meet us there."

Natasha seemed to relax a bit at this, so he continued.

"Just tell me what you need and Stark can bring it to us. I just need you to tell me what's going on."

"Just…" She spoke slowly, catching her breath and attempt to self-soothe by pressing the rounds of her fingernails into her hands. "Woman troubles. I need Midol. I was just panicked that I would be stuck without it and I'm in pain. It hit when I hit a pothole with the bike. Sorry I freaked you out."

"Oh, uh, okay," Clint blushes furiously and Natasha knows that she has once again hid her habit, even in the midst of a bad panic attack. Now, if she can stay calm until the helicarrier lands, she can get her fix. Except something wasn't quite sitting well with Natasha. This wasn't punishment and she wasn't struggling too much with the memories of the Red Room, she just saw a former handler and couldn't control he emotions. This one hadn't done anything to her. Could she use her blade for this? Of course she could, she was in control of this and if she though it was a reason, then it was a reason. It wasn't like she needed it, she just needed control of her emotions again. A punishment for losing control of her emotions, she decided. For almost letting Clint figure it out.

"Hey," Clint breaks her out of her thoughts once again. "Stark needs to know where to find your… woman stuff."

"It's in my medicine cabinet in my bathroom," she laughs, but there is still a weight to her giggle that she cannot seem to shake.

It feels like days before the helicarrier lands, maybe even weeks. Clint lets you find Tony while he takes hold of the woman you extracted and he doesn't miss your shudder when he uses that word to describe the mission. You hop off the transport and nearly sprint to the front of SHIELD headquarters, finding an angry Tony waiting for you, holding your bottle in his left hand and yelling angrily into his phone. When he sees you, he lowers his voice and hangs up on whoever he's talking to and grabs your wrist, pulling you toward the car Happy is waiting in. Your expression turns to one of confusion.

"Tony, I have to give a mission report and I need to take some Midol, where are we" Natasha says hurriedly, stopped when he begins to unscrew the lid. She darts for the bottle, only for him to yank his hand backward.

"What's wrong? It's just a painkiller, it won't hurt me. Besides, I've got a killer stress headache."

She knows she's caught. Something in his eye tells her that much as the car speeds away from SHIELD and Happy lifts the divider, giving Tony the privacy he requested before picking you up. She knows she's caught and she still tries to fix it.

"I just only have a few left and I'm in a lot of pain and where are we going anyway because I still have to give my mission report and deal with that woman." The way she spits the word woman at him, like it was poison in her mouth, tells Tony more than he needs to know. He asks anyway.

"Who is she? And why do you have this?" He shakes the bottle and she hears metal clank against the plastic, making her legs itch and burn for a new cut.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Okay, so I'll have Happy drive us back to SHIELD and I'll go get Fury and Clint and you can explain this to all of us."

"No!"

"Start talking," he says harshly, pocketing the bottle.

"I…" Natasha lets out a loud huff. "She a Red Room handler. Or was. I don't know anymore."

"What did she do to you?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Natasha."

"She didn't do anything to me. Not directly, at least."

"What do you mean 'not directly?'"

"Tony," she whined.

"I'll still have Happy turn this car around."

"If she is responsible for anything, I don't know about it. The only women who gave us training were our ballet teachers."

"Kind of sexist."

"Wow, Stark, never thought I'd see the day."

"Now," he said firmly. "Your arms."

"Excuse me?"

"I need to see the damage. Show me your arms."

"I can't exactly do that," she replied, motioning to the skin-tight catsuit she wore as Black Widow. "If you forgot, I just finished a mission."

As if on cue, Tony's phone rang. He glared daggers at her to indicate that the conversation was not over. A few minutes later, they were headed back to SHIELD headquarters on orders form Fury, who was trying to pacify Clint's anxious rambling about Natasha and where she had disappeared to. Evidently, the woman from the Red Room had demanded to talk to Natalia upon waking and refused to speak to anyone else.