After a few more hours of discussing, Steve, Bruce, Thor, and Tony went to Natasha's floor to find the pair of assassins asleep in a heap on the floor. Steve carried them carefully to Natasha's bed after carefully putting the suitcases on the floor, which they unpacked after ensuring that the noise would not wake Clint or Natasha. Tony got straight to work searching every inch of her floor for hidden blades and became visibly upset when he found that Natasha had not disclosed every location when he asked only a few hours earlier. He found more than 30 blades hidden all over the floor, as well as a few lighters and several piles of uneaten food. Other confiscated items included a scale, shaving razors, medicine bottles, tape measures, and a few additional hollowed books, one with a journal inside that Tony made a mental note to read later. As Thor and Steve unpacked her things, Bruce and Tony set to work re-enabling JARVIS in all areas of Natasha's floor, as well as adding several additional levels of encryption and alerts if she chose to tamper with his capabilities again. Bruce added some code which would track vitals and keep a log of Natasha's caloric intake and output, accounting for her Basal Metabolic Rate, which was enhanced by the Red Room's attempts at the Super Soldier Serum. They spent the majority of the next morning writing a meal plan and reconditioning pattern to help Natasha heal as much as they could. At around 9:45 AM, they were alerted by JARVIS that Natasha was having the vital indications of a panic attack and rushed to her floor.
"Is everything okay?"
She was frozen in place, but her eyes were trained on Clint's body next to her in the bed.
"Nat, think. You're still clothed. You're not injured. You're completely safe. Do you remember any of yesterday?"
Her eyes grew even wider in fear as she realized what had occurred yesterday. She sat bolt upright, jostling Clint as his shoulder slipped off her body. As he woke up, she was rubbing her shoulder where his had been resting and her eyes were darting around the room, taking in all of the subtle changes. Quickly realizing what must have happened, she frantically opened her nightstand drawer and found the false bottom had been removed. In the same haste, she threw open her bathroom door and poured out all of her shampoo, searched every book, looked under loose floorboards, and ran down the hall to search other rooms. Bruce and Steve made moves to restrain her, but Tony stopped them.
"She needs to calm down first."
Clint was rubbing his eyes groggily, but seemed to grasp what was happening rather quickly. Down the hall, Natasha screamed and all five men came rushing in after her.
"Where the fuck is all of my stuff?"
"Everything you've hidden to hurt yourself has been removed," Bruce said calmly.
"You have no right! I'll move out of this tower, this is not fair! That was my property."
"You are welcome to move out of the tower, but if you do so, we will have to inform SHIELD of the circumstances and have you removed from the Avengers Initiative." Steve had rehearsed the line a thousand times as she slept, but his voice still shook with every syllable.
"I knew it. I knew you'd kick me off the team. I told you, Clint. They all hate me. It's all my fault. They don't want me here. They're going to tell SHIELD and ruin my life and send me back to the Red Room because that's all I'm good for. I told you all. That's all I'm good for. And here you are, proving me right. Why did you unpack my suitcases? Just to give me one more thing to do?"
"Natasha, calm down. I'm sure there's an explanation here."
At that exact moment she became even more enraged. How dare he tell her to calm down after everything she had worked for was falling apart in front of her eyes? She searched the room for something, anything she could use to hurt herself. The men just stared at her, waiting for this to calm down. She ran past them back to her bedroom and locked the door before they could follow.
"JARVIS, unlock Natasha's bedroom door." The door clicked just as she smashed the lightbulb in her lamp and grabbed a shard. The men rushed into the room and tried to calm her down, but she quickly brought the shard to her exposed wrist and drew a deep, jagged line before Thor could restrain her. He got his arms around her and proud the piece out of her hand, but the damage was done and her eyes were rolling lazily, reveling in the pain now pulsing through her arm. Everything around her was muted and blurry in the background of the searing pain, but she faintly felt someone wrap her wrist and apply pressure. The pressure made the cut sting even more and she relished the feeling before a cream was applied that numbed the area and the world came rushing back to her all at once. She was in a man's lap, being restrained and stared at by four more men, including him. Clint. Or Loki. Was it Clint or Loki? She couldn't tell. She thrashed in his arms away from the others, but she couldn't move.
"Stop!"
"Nat-"
"No! I don't want to!"
"Tash-"
"Stop! Please!"
"Thor, let her go."
"But the lam-"
"She's scared, let her go." He released his grasp and she scurried into the opposite corner of the room, hugging her arms protectively around her legs in a small ball.
"Deep breaths, Nat. This is not your fault," his voice was clear, not riddled with the foreign vocabulary or harsh edges as that day. "This is not your fault. You are safe. You are okay. Just breathe for us."
"Miss Romanoff's heart rate is slowing down."
"Keep talking to her," Tony said.
"This is not your fault. It wasn't your fault then and it isn't now. This is not your fault."
"-lint?" She began to come out of her trance and her teammates came back into her view.
"I'm here, Tash. You're okay."
"But they're going to send me back," she glared at the other men.
"No, actually. The choice is yours." Tony's voice broke through. "You have two choices, the way we see it. Or three. So here are your options: You can pack your bags and leave, but we will tell SHIELD everything and force you to seek treatment, you'll probably be removed from the Initiative, and be forced to ride a desk for the rest of your career. But we figure that's not really a choice for you." He exchanged glances with the rest of the team. "Or, you can let us help you as best as we can, stay in the tower, and adhere to our rules. If you make that choice, you WILL get better, but you'll stay on the team and no one eats SHIELD has to know."
She scoffed. "Not much of a choice, is it?"
"You're free to do whichever, but we will not let you destroy yourself," the Captain tells her firmly.
"Or I can go back to Russia, they'll keep me off SHIELD's radar."
"We know you don't want that."
She averted her eyes from meeting his. It was true, she would never go back there. Ever.
"So, what do you want to do?"