The boys looked around the room at each other, not sure of how to respond to what they had just learned about their teammate. They had known the horrors she had faced in the Red Room to an extent, but none of them had dreamt that the true extent was this horrifying. Even Clint, who had perhaps the best grasp on the situation solely based on the state he had found her in, was stunned into silence as she finished her story of her tenth birthday.
"Pretty fucked up, Red," Tony said quietly.
"Not really, if you think about it. They needed us to be deadly and to get the information they needed. They did what they had to do to help us to do just that."
"But you do understand that it was wrong, right? I mean, SHIELD gets the information it needs, but they don't do… that."
"It takes them, what, a few weeks of recon to do it? It took the Red Room one evening with one of us in the field to get the information we needed, take them out, and move on with their missions. It was just more efficient, that's all."
"I don't understand Earth," Thor interjects quietly.
"That's so… wrong."
"That's being a widow. You asked, I told you that you wouldn't want to hear it."
"So, what happened from then on?"
"It was a fairly logical progression, fellatio for a few weeks until the right… skills were deemed satisfactory." She shuddered and hugged her legs closer, suddenly insecure about her training. "Then other foreplay techniques, intercourse, anal sex, kink training… The seduction classes became a daily addition to my schedule, the eliminations were once or twice a year until there was just me. Then, it was all about enhancing my skills with even more methods of torture to withstand, more violent and niche kinks, and some random skills."
The men in the room were visibly uncomfortable, but tried, for their part, not to show it.
"And how often…" Clint began. "How often did they… test your skills?"
"I don't want to answer that."
"Nat, it's important that we know." Bruce said gently, quickly cut off by Tony's words.
"Was that what she meant, by her almost wanting to try you out herself?" Natasha refused to make eye contact. "So that's a yes, then. How often? Was it always just the instructor?"
"During my training, yes." She spoke so quietly that they barely heard her words.
"And what about at night? In your… room?"
She was silent once again.
"Nat, come on."
"I lost track." She said shortly.
"Every night? Every week? Just a ballpark here, Red."
"More than that."
"More than what? More than every ni-" Tony interrupted himself. "Oh."
"Can we be done here?"
"Not quite, we have one more question because it may be important to the team." Steve stated as she tried to make her way off the couch. "Who was the Winter Soldier? Viktoriya said that he was one of the men who…. Got to enjoy you."
"America wasn't the only country that wanted a Super Soldier, Captain." Her voice was dripping with malice as she darted quickly to the elevator. She had a hunch and hoped it was correct as she headed to Steve's floor. Tony had stocked his bathroom with the old kind of safety razor so that Steve would feel more at home and the blades for those were sturdy and sharp when new; she was hoping that he still had some clean ones and that JARVIS wasn't enabled on his floor in the same way that he was on her floor. The boys didn't make a move to follow her when she got off the couch, so she assumed that they were still in shock of what she had told them. When the elevator landed on Steve's floor, she was met with the eerily silent halls leading to his room. It was fairly barren inside, with only a few photographs on the nightstand and his shield in the corner; the bed was made perfectly and the bathroom looked untouched, but there was a razor on the side of the sink. She began opening cabinets and silently thanked whatever higher power existed that he did have a pack of blades that was untouched and unopened, she grabbed one from the package and quickly darted from the room, careful to leave everything exactly the way it was. Tucking the wrapped blade into the lining of her bra, she walked to the elevator to find it occupied. The boys were on their way to room, two floors above. She thought quickly about her options. They would beat her to her room and she didn't want to be caught here, so she quickly ran down the stairs to the training floor. At least if they caught her here, they wouldn't find out what she took. A few moments later, they emerged from the elevator to her doing target practice with a Glock in her hand.
"Natasha, you are not allowed to train," Thor said.
"Come on big guy, it's not like this burns many calories." She said shakily.
"JARVIS, please pull up Natasha's caloric stats for the day." Tony said. "See that red, Red? That means you've burned more calories than you've eaten. So no training. Besides, we're not done talking yet."
"What more do you want to know? Have I not repulsed you yet?"
"None of that was your fault. But you can help us. Any information about the Winter Soldier could help us."
"What? You want to know how good he was in bed? I don't know anything about him other than how he liked to fuck." Rogers visibly twitched at her language, and she briefly smirked. "He liked his girls tied down more than just the handcuffs. And he liked to be in control the whole time, his favorite thing to do was to make his girls ride him and then slam them into the bed, sometimes hitting their head on the way down." All of the men were showing physical discomfort at this point and she let them keep wriggling as she spoke. "He liked to leave bruises on the thighs and stomach, where the ballet tights and leotard would cover it enough that they'd let him keep doing it. He loved it when his girls would writhe in terror and slit their wrists on the handcuffs. He loved to-"
"ENOUGH."
"That's" she spit the words like venom, taking a brief pause to meet each of their glances. "What I know about him." She put the Glock on the table in front of her, barrel facing down range, safety on, like a perfectly trained soldier even in the heat of the moment. Then she stalked out of the room and up to her room.