When they got the helicarrier on a gliding path toward SHIELD, she tried to argue with Clint about being allowed to go to the back with him, but he would not budge. She didn't remember ever describing the Winter Soldier she knew to him, but it was possible that she had forgotten about it. In either case, she was not confident that she would be able to walk on her ankles and foot; they were pulsing with every step she took and she could feel the blood that had pooled at her toes, making them disgustingly slick.

"Clint, am I supposed to just stay up here and stare at the wall until we get back? That's ridiculous."

"What are you going to do if it is him?"

"I-" she stumbled over her words, unsure how she would react. "I was trained to deal with it, I'll be fine."

"I don't want you to just be fine. And I don't think you will be."

"Clint, I'm going to have to see him at some point. Wouldn't it be easier here? With all of you?"

"I guess that makes a bit of sense…" he trailed off. "Maybe I should check with the others first?"

"Clint." She said firmly.

"Alright."

"Could… um, could you help me back there?"

"Why? What's wrong? What did you do?"

"Clint," she sighed. "I haven't been hooked up for a few hours, I'm just a little bit dizzy."

"Right, right. Of course. I'm sorry, Tash."

"It's okay," she said as she wrapped her arm over his shoulder, cradling her bad foot so that more weight was taken off of it as she leaned against him. She felt bad for the extra weight of her body pulling on his side and mumbled an apology under her breath and she stumbled down the narrow walkway with him.

"For what?"

"Being so heavy… You have to help me…"

"Tash, you barely weigh anything. I could carry you without any extra effort. You are not a burden for taking up space."

She shrugged off his response as they walked through the door to be met with a scene of chaos. Clint noticed that his mask had been removed and Steve was in a near-catatonic state in the corner, with Bruce attempting to bring him back.

"It wasn't…" Steve got up from his spot and came within inches of Natasha's. His eyes were nearly bloodshot and frantic. "Was this him?"

"I haven't seen yet, what's going on?"

"I…" Steve stuttered. "Just tell me it wasn't him."

"Tony?"

"It seems that Steve's friend from, you know, the dinosaur days, did not die. He was captured. And you're looking at him."

Clint searched his partner's face, still blocking the small girl's view of the paralyzed body laid in the center of their jet.

"Clint, please move," her voice shook, but she remained strong in her resolve.

"This is not a good idea."

"Better now than sometime without all of us here to support both of them," Bruce interjected as he pulled Steve back to a seat.

"For the record, I do not think this a good idea. At all."

"Yeah, yeah Legolas we get it. Step aside."

Natasha took in the sight before her and instantly knew that it was him, but steeled her face as she walked closer and looked at his body, paralyzed and unmoving in front of her. Her brain played quick flashes of her memories of him: the fear on her face the first time, he head hitting the hard concrete behind her bed, the sadistic look in his eyes as she was on top of him, the rough entering and thrusting that shook the bed, the blood dripping down her legs when she disobeyed him and he took a jagged piece of armor and drew a deep line on her thigh. She Met his eyes, open and fearful of the people around him but still the same steely blue color.

"Nat?"

If she was quick enough, she could probably grab the scissors from the bathroom and kill him right here and now. She would probably be in a decent amount of trouble with SHIELD, but that wouldn't be anything new. The bigger issue was that she was fairly certain she could not walk unassisted at this point. So instead, she collapsed to the ground and stared ahead, not passing out, but not speaking to any of her teammates.

After a few minutes of trying to get her attention and pull her out of the state she was in, she felt someone sit down on either side of her. She was comforted by Clint's rough hands, but the person on the other side also grabbed her hand but made no move to talk to her. She slowly turned her head to see Steve sitting next to her, still in shock, but comforting her.

"Steve…"

"No, Nat. This isn't your fault, don't you dare say you're sorry."

"He didn't have a choice…"

"But I left him."

"You thought he was dead! Of course you left."

"I failed him. And I failed you. If I hadn't left him, this wouldn't have happened to you."

"Steve…" she exhaled. "Yes, it would have. It's not… It's not about the person for them. If it hadn't been him, it would have been one of the others and maybe it wouldn't have been the exact same, but it still would have happened. Would the person that you knew do this?"

"Never!"

"Then it was him. It was whatever they did to him. For all we know, they did all of the same things to him and Steve… I would have done anything during that time to avoid more of their punishments. You could never understand how awful it was, how you would do anything they said to avoid them doing what they wanted."

"That doesn't make it okay to do what he did." She knew that if he knew what she had done, he would probably try to convince her that it wasn't her fault, but his statement solidified her belief that she deserved everything she did to herself. She was just as bad as the person they captured, and she would make them see it too.

"No, it doesn't." She replied softly and laid her head on her partner's shoulder.