It was that time again, the time where there was absolutely no introduction from Chris McLean himself, just the emptiness of a black screen. Suddenly, letters started to fly around on it, while the Aftermath guitar riff started to play. The letter "T" flew across the blank space, being followed with a clip from when Benjamin was stuck waiting outside of the maze of a mansion that was in the second challenge of the season. Of course, Bonnie was there with him, obsessing over him, as she usually did, and preventing him from going back inside with his team.
"'Uh, guys? I guess I'm going this way now...so I'll see you all later!'"
When the clip cut out, the letter "D" flew across the blank screen, again, being followed by a clip, though, this clip was actually from the paparazzi episode, when Bonnie's cousin, Ginny had come to help with the challenge. The two girls had stumbled upon Benjamin while he was shirtless, much to Bonnie's pleasure.
"'Well, hello Bonnie! And...taller, more boyish Bonnie!'"
"'Oh, I see what's going on! You're trying to fish up a catch with this boy, here, aren't you? Aw, can't you take a little friendly jab here or there? You can't hide from me, BonBon!'"
"'There were two Bonnie's there...I'm not the only one seeing that, right?'"
The next letter to fly by was an "L," soon being followed by another clip. This one came from the episode where everyone was racing dolphins. Benjamin, of course, spent most of his time during that challenge alongside Damien, his closest friend.
"'Oh, hey, hey! Check this one out, I can do it with no hands!'"
"'Not bad, not bad. But can you do it with no legs? Thank you, thank you. And, for my next trick, I will swim ahead while the dolphin rides on my back! Whatcha waiting for, dude?'"
"'You said you were gonna have the dolphin ride on your back while you swam for it! I just gotta see that, that's a once in a lifetime sight right there!'"
"'Ah, well, I wasn't being serious about that...it was just a joke, buddy.'"
"'Aw, man, I was really hoping you could actually do that!'"
The letter "C" came flying around this time, and the clip that followed it came from the episode with the circus themed challenge, right when Benjamin was sitting out in front of the building.
"'Hey, Ben, this is where you've been? Me and the other guys were confused when you weren't in the room this morning.'"
"'Oh, yeah, I come out here sometimes when I'm thinking too much. Those thoughts about the perspective of our place in the universe can really get invasive and they make me start questioning the meaning of everything. But whenever I'm out here, I forget about that. I see some pretty fishy go splash and it makes me go "wow!"'"
Finally, the last letter flew by, this one being an "A." It was followed by one final clip, this one coming from the very same episode, though much later on, after Benjamin had panicked because of all the red things around him. Bonnie was coming up to him, just in a towel.
"'Oh, my! It looks like I just got out of the shower, and I'm not wearing anything under this towel! What a shame it would be if-'"
"'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'"
"'Oh, come on! I give up!'"
The letters pieced themselves together to spell out "TDLC: A," and just like that, the guitar riff finished and the letters disappeared from everyone's sight.
The camera hovered over an ocean, quickly descending beneath the water and happening upon Atlantis, zooming in on the wreck of the Chris space station, where the host himself was on his knees, sad that there was an asteroid in his face, while Poseidon patted him on the shoulder and Amphitrite sighed in annoyance.
"Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine," the camera quickly shifted over to the carnival zone in Atlantis, showing Natt and Anne on a large Ferris wheel, enjoying their time together until it suddenly fell out of place and rolled away.
"You guys are on my mind," down at the controls, Zachary and Amelia were revealed to be messing with them, laughing maniacally until Vicente came over and bonked both of them on the head with plastic baseball bats.
"You asked me what I wanted to be and I think the answer's plain to see," in one of the carnival tents, March and Luna watched Benjamin in awe as he rode a unicycle while bouncing on a trampoline, juggling bowling pins, and holding a torch with his teeth.
"I wanna be famous!" Tony tossed a frisbee at the wheel, causing Benjamin to fall on top of an unsuspecting Bonnie, and the torch to set his shirt on fire before the bowling pins landed on his head, which caused Liz to give him a thumbs up with an evil grin on her face.
"I wanna live close to the sun," out in the ocean, Alex was in his diving suit, trying to catch a sea monkey, but failing utterly, just like he had when it was a space monkey, while Dusty shook her head in disappointment, lassoing the creature back to them, but catching Jett instead.
"So pack your bags, cause I've already won," on the seafloor, Archie studied a squid closely until it shot ink all over his helmet's glass shield, which made Jianne giggle a little bit before wiping it off.
"Everything to prove, nothing in my way, I'll get there one day," not too far from where the two were, Damien and Gretchen ran away from a massive shark, which knocked them off to the side, showing that it was swimming away from Flint, who was throwing rocks at it while Alexis chased after him.
"I wanna be famous!" the camera switched gears to show a submarine, with arcade-esque machines in it that Taylor and Crustacean were fighting over.
"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na," zooming into a "pod" of sorts near the arcade games, a virtual world that was full of immaculate fantasy aspects and monsters was shown.
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!" Nicolás, dressed as a knight, was running in fear as blasts of dark energy were tossed at the ground behind him, each blast destroying part of the ground.
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!" the camera revealed Thomas, in dark mage garb, as the source of the blasts, floating in the sky and laughing maniacally until Maggie, dressed as a witch, flew over to him on her broom and tackled him to the ground, making out with him before he blasted the camera with one of the energy balls.
Afterwards, the whole group was seen on a nautically themed aftermath stage, which Sebastian and Haley were at the center of, glaring at each other while all of the contestants, accompanied by Maggie, who was hugging Thomas tightly, whistled.
The intro had ended, and the camera began to zoom in on the now familiar stage of the Aftermath for the show, though one key part of it was missing. Haley was sitting on her couch, as she usually did, smiling brightly at the camera…a lot cheerier than she usually was. No one else was on the couch with her…not a single person. No frosted tip bearing menace that was usually around to antagonize her. Almost immediately, the crowd started to boo at the sight of the missing Sebastian, bringing a frown to the martial artist's face. "Oh, come on, I haven't even started yet!"
"Boo! We don't want you here, we want Seabass!" One angry member of the crowd protested to the lack of his one and only best boy.
"Hey, that's not cool man!" Another member of the crowd shouted back to the first, "I think Haley is just as good of a host as Sebastian, probably better!"
"Maybe you wouldn't be thinking that way if you weren't such a simp! Simp, simp, simp!" The crowd was ferocious, mostly with each other at this point. Haley could feel a vein about to burst in her forehead, soon standing up and stomping her foot on the stage so hard that she cracked the floorboards, bringing silence to the chaos that was running amok.
"Everybody stay quiet! I know, I know, your favorite dynamic douchebag isn't here right now! Poseidon suggested the two of us each try hosting an episode on our own to keep tension a bit lower. You'll get him back at some point, but for now, you're stuck with me!" She was furious, breathing intensely and seeming to be generating steam from her ears…until she completely lost that edge and shrunk up where she stood. "O-oh…um, sorry about that…he left me with a bit of a short temper."
There were crickets chirping in the crowd while she stood there in silence. Surely, this idea was going just perfectly. "U-uh…I guess we should get a move on with the show, right? I'll sit down and we can call out our first guess. Sorry if that's not what you want…" The crowd was still silent for a good moment before someone suddenly broke the silence.
"...Oh my god, she's so cute!" The fans started to burst out in approval, much unlike how they were acting previously. "Haley we love you! You're so kawaii! That means hot in Italian!" Haley blushed from the compliments, soon seating herself back down on the sofa.
"Thank you everybody…now, let's give a warm welcome to the most lovable dumb dumb to have ever graced Atlantis, Benjamin! Oh…I mean, you can give him a warm welcome if you'd like to…" The crowd continued to cheer for the meek martial artist while the camera panned to the side of the stage, where Benjamin was standing…although he was staring at the wall rather than the stage itself. Haley quickly rushed to his side, spinning him around and pulling him to the chair that was across from the sofa before sitting back down.
"Wowee! This place is so big, I almost got lost!" The crowd laughed at Benjamin's witty remark, not knowing that it wasn't actually a witty remark. "Thanks mystery lady! Do you know when the Aftermath hosts are gonna be here to interview me?"
"Um…Benjamin? It's me, Haley…I am one of the Aftermath hosts." She smiled politely at the boy, only to get a blank stare back from him. "...I competed in Space Station with you?" Still, just more of the same blank look. Her smile started to fade from her face. "We both sat down in the same submarine on our way to Atlantis! D-don't you remember me?"
"Mmm…oh, yeah!" Haley perked up as soon as Benjamin said that, her smile coming back to her face. "You were that pizza delivery girl that accidentally stepped on my foot when I was visiting Guam!" And, just like that, the smile was gone again. "How ya been? Deliver any pizzas lately? Step on any feet? Speaking of feet-"
"Oooooooooooooooookay, moving on so we don't get you talking about that! Benjamin, how does it feel to be out of the game so early?" The host tried her best to stay polite, moving on from both him forgetting her and talking about feet.
"What!? I'm out of the game already!?" Benjamin had a look of utter shock on his face, and the crowd gasped for added effect. "What did I do wrong? Who voted me out? Was it you, pizza girl? I didn't even know you were competing, you can't vote me out!"
"Benjamin! I didn't vote you out, your team voted you out when you threw that big fit back in the circus tent. Remember? You found out that the tent was red and-" As soon as Haley mentioned the color, the boy rose from his seat and started wailing like a banshee. She plugged her ears tightly, pulling out a squeaky toy from her pocket and giving it a squeeze, redirecting his attention to it. "Good boy! You want the toy? You have to not scream this whole interview!"
"Oh, I promise I won't scream! I don't even remember why I was screaming in the first place!" Benjamin eagerly held his hand out for Haley to hand the toy to him. He snickered as she dropped it into the palm of his hand, giving it one squeeze and snickering even more before losing all interest and throwing it behind him. "So, are you gonna start this interview or what? You're a pretty bad host."
The vein was twitching in her forehead yet again, but she managed to keep herself calm for the camera. "We've got some questions from fans about you, Benjamin. Our first one comes from Zoryan El Muerto! 'Benjamin. What's two plus two?'"
Benjamin stared at Haley blankly for a moment, blinking a few times before suddenly bursting out into laughter and slapping his knee. "Man, that sure was a good one! Two plus two? Classic! See, Anne, this is why you're so funny all the time!"
"Anne? W-what? I'm not Anne, I'm Haley! That's not even an answer to this question! You know what…nevermind. We've got another question for you from LittleRedline! 'If you're afraid of the color red, how come you were never afraid around Bonnie? Or whenever you look in a mirror?'" Haley took some deep breaths after asking the question, knowing she was about to freak out if she had to deal with more of his antics.
"Who's Bonnie?" Benjamin looked to the crowd for assistance, but there were only more crickets chirping. "And what even is a mirror? You hosts think you're so cool, making up names and objects. Well, let me tell you something, mister! I-"
"-Think it's time for us to cut to our commercial break!" Haley quickly jumped to the center of the stage, leaving the steamed Benjamin behind her. "Like, right now before Ben does something he's going to regret!" The camera panned away from the stage, with the audience cheering up until Benjamin leaped into the crowd in a fit of rage, causing the feed to cut altogether.
The camera cut to show a grand stage in a theater, the stage being full of empty chairs that were set up for an orchestra. There was a single podium at the front center of the stage, and there was one person standing at it. The camera zoomed in to show their face, a bit pale with purple eyes that shined with determination hidden by nervousness. Their hair was short, black, and it seemed to be spiked up with a sort of gel. They were wearing a conductor's outfit, top to bottom, looking more elegant than most.
"Every magnificent piece…every beautiful sonata…every captivating solo…they all start with one thing." The person spoke softly before raising their conductor's wand and dropping it down, ushering in an orchestra which was playing a lovely, yet somehow complex composure. "Silence. Come join us and watch the Felguard Orchestra perform their newest set, 'An Adoption of Silence.' Tickets are now available for sale."
The camera cut from the commercial to return to the aftermath stage, showing that Benjamin was now being restrained in a straitjacket on the risers. Sure enough, he was the only person on the risers…the show seemed to be missing quite a bit of its key components today, such as the star of its first episode. Haley wiped some sweat from her brow with a handkerchief, soon tucking it into her pocket before a fan spoke up. "Haley, I will pay you twenty dollars for that handkerchief!"
"W-what? Why would I, no, I'm not going to give you that! …Oh my…I'm sorry for getting loud there…do you think you guys could possibly forgive me?" Haley blushed as she innocently gazed out to the crowd, all of which ushered in a choir of "aw"s. "Thank you guys, so much…now, for our next aftermath guest, we have the man with a mind deeper than the marianas. He could form words out of thin air into pieces of pure beauty. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…Archie?"
Haley looked over to the side of the stage, shocked to see Taylor standing where Archie should've been. She wasn't wearing any pants, but instead, a long, green and red striped skirt. "I know, I know, everybody hold your applause. The most amazing presence to have ever graced this stage is here, and she is ready to party!" The adrenaline junkie ran towards the center of the stage, sliding on her knees and ending up near the chair. She hopped onto it, grinning as she stared at the shocked expression on Haley's face.
"T-Taylor? It's not your turn to be on stage yet, it was supposed to be-" Haley tried to protest, but Taylor quickly cut her off by covering her mouth with her hand.
"Haley, Haley! Listen. Listen to the words I am speaking to you. Okay? I…am very drunk right now. And I am belligerent. I will not be waiting for my turn, and I will not be letting Archie go before me. He…is a bum. And we don't like bums here, we like to paaaaaaaaaaaaarty!" Taylor jumped up from her seat again, raising her fists in the air and headbanging like she had never headbanged before. "Woohoo motherfuckers!"
"Taylor! Language!"
"Haley, you need to loosen up! I mean, you're out here like 'blah, blah, rules, I'm blonde, I wanna makeout with Sebastian' and honestly? It's really harshing my mellow. Who here in the crowd thinks that Haley needs to let loose and stop being obsessed with Sebastian?" The crowd immediately started to cheer at Taylor's question, causing Haley to hold her hands in her face in shame. "That's damn right! Woohoo! Hey, hey, hey! And you guys know what? I may have lost, but I'm the real winner. I got a smokin' babe waiting for me when this is over!"
"T-Taylor, can you tone it down a little bit? L-let's just go ahead and move on to your questions so you can…er…simmer down."
"Hey, whatever floats your boat, blondie!" Taylor lounged back in her chair with a big grin on her face, pulling out an unmarked glass bottle from a pocket on her skirt and taking a big swig from it. "Throw them at me already!"
"Okay, okay, jeez…your first question comes from Alexneushoorn. 'What are your thoughts on Gretchen's father Robert and brother Patrick?'" The crowd bellowed out with an "oo" and Taylor nodded her head at the question.
"You see, those are those two guys on that shirt that she's wearing! I was really wasted one time, and I tried to talk to them, but they wouldn't answer me! It was kinda rude, I'm not gonna lie. But then, Gretchen was all like, 'Babe, that's just a shirt. We can call them if you want.' And I was like, sheesh, I guess we could. Then I puked on her bed and passed out! Man, what a thrill that was!" Taylor raised her fist in the air and took another swig from the bottle she was holding, ushering in some cheering from the crowd.
"Uh…right…well, let's move on to your next question, then." Haley looked down at a card that was in her hand, reading along as she spoke. From Lord Gemini, 'We know who the person you miss the most is. Can you send a message to the person you despise the most that is still in the game?'"
"Can I send a- pfft! Of course I can send a message to the person I hate the most! Hang on, let me grab my phone real quick." Taylor dug around in her pocket for a moment, pulling her phone out and frantically typing on it. Meanwhile, back at Atlantis, Jianne was walking outside to clear her mind, when, suddenly, her phone started to buzz. She pulled it out of her own pocket, opening it to see a message from Taylor.
"Jianne, you suck eggs you diaper baby…she's drunk again, isn't she?" She typed something back and sent it, bringing the view back to the stage where Taylor was waiting for the response.
"Well?" Haley piped up, interested to see what was happening, "Did she say anything back?"
"Yeah…but it's in, like, French or something, I don't know. 'A…ahre…yu…durnki?' Bah, who cares what she has to say, she's a loser with a capital t!" Taylor took another swig from her bottle, emptying it out entirely.
"There's no t in the word loser-" Taylor cut Haley off again, this time with a series of "shush"s.
"Haley, with all due respect…" The adrenaline junkie soon let out a loud belch right in the hosts face before turning to the crowd and raising her fists into the air. "Let's party, bitches!" She stood their with her arms up for a moment…before suddenly teetering forth and falling off of the stage. The crowd gasped, but Haley was mostly just glad to have gotten her out of the way.
"Thank goodness…I mean…Taylor is just a lot of fun, isn't she? Now, let's move on to the guest that was supposed to be out here in the first place, Archie!" Haley gestured to the side of the stage, soon gasping as she saw, not only the poet, but March as well. "That's where you've been this whole time? I thought you had just disappeared like Thomas and…and…uh…well, the other one!"
"Oh, well, I was just catching up with my bestie! Things were really rough while he was still there…urk, I can't even begin to imagine having a roommate that clips their toenails near your bed!" March shuddered for a moment before looking up to Archie. "I'll give you the spotlight now! Just make sure you come sit next to me on the risers when your interview is done, 'kay?"
"You got it," Archie mumbled, sending his buddy to run over to the risers. She sat two rows down from Benjamin, looking up at him like he was some sort of escaped mental patient. The poet strolled over to the guest chair, mostly ignoring the applause that was coming from the crowd as he sat down. "Haley…it's been a while. Where's the nuisance?"
"Sebastian? Oh, well, we're trying to host episodes on our own for now! …I think he said something about getting more drip? I don't really remember…but this isn't his episode, this one is mine!" Haley smiled cutely, causing the crowd to "aw" for her once again. Archie rolled his eyes at her and sat back as far as he could in the chair. "So, Archie…from finalist to fodder. Must feel kinda bad, right?"
"Meh, can't say that feels as bad as not being included in the game at all." The crowd let out a loud "oo" at Archie's retort. "But, yes, it kinda sucks to be out of the game so early."
"Geez, you're certainly more abrasive than the last time I saw you…any particular reason for that?"
"Oh, I can think of one. You have that tv to pull up pictures of people on, right?" Haley nodded at Archie's question, using her remote to descend the screen from the ceiling. She handed the remote to the poet, who pressed a button on it to light the screen up with a picture of Flint picking his nose and hiding the boogers under Archie's pillow. "Do I need to explain my harsh exterior any further? Or does this sum it up well enough?"
"Oh dear, I think anybody would be furious to have to deal with that. Truly disgusting stuff, folks." Haley nodded to Archie in understanding. "Are you at least happier to be back with March, someone who appreciates you?"
"Someone who appreciates me? What do you mean by that?" The poet narrowed his eyes at Haley, sensing that she wasn't going to just let him avoid the stress of the show.
"Oh, come on, Archie! You remember how bad your team was treating you while you were still in the runnings! If I were you…well, I'd think they just wanted me gone because I made it so far last time around." The crowd mumbled in conversation, causing Archie to furrow his brow a bit. "Besides, let's not forget Jianne…that little temper issue that destroyed your ship. Such a letdown for us viewers."
"At least there was a time when she cared about me. I can't recall Sebastian ever treating you like a princess." Both Haley and the crowd gasped in shock, with the latter soon booing at him. "Oh, come on! She was egging me on!"
"Hmph…since you want to be so rude, why don't we just get your interview over with already?" Haley grumbled as she reached for her questions cards, scanning over them. "From Nobody245, 'Why are you such a bore?' Oh, that's not the right question! I'm sorry! I meant, 'given Tony's history, were you expecting his eventual betrayal? And how surprised are you that you left not because of Tony, but because Amelia?'"
Archie crossed his arms at the host, clearly unamused with her nastiness. "Hmph…about Tony, well, it was just hard to think about it with all the craziness going on. I was so focused on Flint being obnoxious that I didn't think about the fact that I was falling into his hands. Ugh, Tony…he can really be a good guy at times, but man, he is a sleazeball. And about Amelia…I couldn't have possibly seen that coming. From my point of view, she was one of the more…considerate members of my team. I know better now."
"So…you're saying you were too blind to see the facts? That sure sounds like you!" Haley grinned evilly at the boy, whose anger was just getting worse and worse. March sat at her spot on the risers, worried about her friend. "One more question for you…this one from Lord Gemini. 'Archie, do you ever think that you're getting exactly what you deserve?' …Wait a minute, that's wrong too! The actual question was 'if you hate anime, what possessed you to take the lead of the challenge?'"
"Urgh…because, the way that they were going to do it was just-"
"You just wanted to take control because you didn't want to have to listen to Flint, didn't you?"
"Would you just shut your mouth for one minute and let me answer the question so we can move on already!?" Archie stood from his seat, furious at this point, causing the crowd to gasp again.
"Wow, what a shocking outburst! Folks, I think we're gonna have to head into another commercial break to lower some of the tensions! We'll be right back!" The camera began to pan out, showing the crowd applauding while Archie stormed off the stage in a huff.
The camera cut to a man standing in the center of a massive wrestling ring, spotlights circling the ring itself before eventually landing on him. He was facing away from the camera view at first, but he swiftly turned around and leaned into a microphone that was in his hand. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the one and only…Dukebowl!" Flames lit up around the ring, circling the boy like Hell itself. He was massive, muscularity wise, and he had a face that pulled all attention straight to him. "You're face to face with me, Duke Dodson! That's right, I'm back, baby! You think you've got what it takes to be a champ, like me? You ain't got nothing!"
Duke spit into the fire, causing it to burn even brighter. He ran towards the camera, bounding through the fire to grab it and hold it above his head, aiming it down at his face. "We're hosting a newbies night every Saturday, where wrestling wannabes can come show off their stuff…that is, the lack of stuff that they got! Fifty bucks gets you entered in the ring, and the best of you will even get a chance to face off against me! That's right! Fifty dollars to get your dreams crushed by a true champ!"
Duke tossed the camera back into the ring, sitting himself down in a porcelain throne as it landed, perfectly aimed towards him. "So, come on down and get your ass handed to ya! I'm looking forward to it!" He kissed his own bicep as the address of the Dukebowl flashed up on the screen. Soon after, the ad cut out.
The camera returned to the Aftermath stage, where the crowd was cheering loudly for Haley, yet again. This time, all of the losers that had shown their faces were in their seats. March sat next to Archie, patting him on the back and trying to keep him cool while he was seething with rage. Benjamin was freed from his straitjacket, now smiling as a butterfly sat upon his nose…which he soon scooped into his mouth and ate. Then, there was Taylor, who was passed out off to the side, likely concussed from her fall off of the stage.
"Welcome back everyone! I'm sorry about that break…I was just a little overwhelmed, I think." Haley blushed and tapped her fingers together while the crowd went absolutely nuts for her. "Thanks for being so patient with me…"
"Psh," Archie rolled his eyes at the host before leaning over to whisper something to March. "It's like all the worst parts of Sebastian rubbed off onto her…"
"By worst parts of Sebastian, you mean all parts of Sebastian, right?" March giggled at her own comment, which did manage to get a slight chuckle from the poet.
"Now, we've got two more contestants to interview before we move onto the last, and most important part of our show!" The crowd murmured among themselves, not quite sure what she meant by the "most important part." "Coming up right now, it's the boy who's more of a hero than he'll admit to being! He'll have your back even if you stab his, he'll show up to your birthday party if everyone else ditches you, and he would probably go to prom with you if you couldn't get a date! The most gentlemanly gentleman around, please welcome Alex to the stage!"
Haley looked off to the side of the stage, smiling as the boy made himself seen. The fans went wild when they saw him, really bringing a smile to his face. He proudly walked to the center of the stage, waving to the crowd before finally sitting down in the chair across from Haley. "Thanks ta everyone for such a warm welcome! Ah'm not sure what Ah did to deserve this, but Ah sure do appreciate it!"
"Are you kidding me? You're the hero! The people in Atlantis may not quite recall what happened on the day of your unfair elimination, but we all saw it go down!" Haley gestured to the crowd, showing that many of the fans were holding up signs that said things like "I love you, Alex!" The adventurer beamed at the mass approval of his appearance, feeling taller than ever. "We're just sorry that you had to go in such a way, it really is a shame, don't you think?"
"While it is up there for one of the most unfair things to happen to anyone on the show, what's done is done, isn't it?" Alex shrugged his shoulders, getting even more cheers from the crowd that already loved him so much. "Besides, Ah'm right sure that something will happen to show Zachary the error of his ways."
"It's so interesting to hear you saying that! You know, you showed an awful lot of friendliness towards Zach in some of the more recent episodes. He kicked you out of the game, and you still seem to think he can learn from this? So humbling!" Haley nodded while the crowd clapped their hands feverishly. "In fact, this kind of reminds me of a similar situation! You were good friends with Thomas at a point…do you feel similarly about him? That he can learn from his evil ways?"
"Eh? Ah hadn't much thought about Thomas in a good while…he's an interesting bugger, that's for sure. Ah'd say…he could, but it's a bit too hard to tell." Alex scratched his chin in thought before looking back to Haley. "The only way to find out is with time, don't you agree?"
"That was well said, Alex. A true hero that doesn't even put his enemies down. Now, as much as I would love to keep this conversation going, we do have another person to get to. What do you say we get to your questions from the fans?" Haley had her question cards in her hand, smiling cheerfully as Alex nodded to the question. "Your first question comes from Zoryan El Muerto. 'Do you plan to sue Total Drama for how you were eliminated?'"
The crowd chattered to themselves while Alex sat there in thought, completely silent for the moment. It wasn't until the silence was broken by Alex's own chuckling that the crowd started murmuring. "You know, Ah did think about that for a brief moment, but ran into an issue pretty quick. After Luna insisted she would sue Chris if he eliminated her when she was injured in Space Station, he made an addendum to the contract. 'No matter what the case, all eliminations are declared fair, and upon elimination, the contestant cannot take legal action.' Guess that slimeball got one over on me there, didn't he?"
The crowd "boo"d loudly upon hearing this, though Alex could still only shrug. "That is sure awful to hear…and I know that most of us just signed the contract without looking at the fine print. Well, your next question comes from Grape Escape! 'Who are you again?'" The crowd was outraged by this insult to their hero, immediately pulling out pitchforks and torches like an angry mob would.
Alex waved them off with his hand, the smile on his face still not washing off. "Who am Ah? Well, all Ah am is me, and it's all Ah'll ever be!" Just like that, the crowd was back to cheering like they were previously, even more of them sporting signs that showed their appreciation of the lad.
"Wow…just, wow. You really are one amazing guy, you know that?" Alex tipped his hat to Haley and stood from his seat, waving to the crowd once more before joining his fellow losers on the risers. He sat next to Benjamin, giving him a fist bump. "It's gonna be pretty tough to follow that guy up, isn't it? Well, maybe not. We've got another fan favorite about to roll her way onto stage. You laugh at her, sometimes you laugh with her…either way, you're laughing when you're around her. Here she is, Anne!"
The camera panned to the side of the stage where Anne was present, balancing herself on a unicycle whilst juggling a couple of bowling pins. She wheeled her way to the center of the stage, the wheel of her unicycle getting caught on the cracked floor boards from earlier and causing her to go cascading into the chair with her pins, all of which bonked her on the head. The crowd, as well as Haley, gasped at the sight. "Oh my goodness, Anne! Are you alright?"
The comedian flipped herself around in the chair, facing forward while smiling a big, dumb smile. She flashed a thumbs up to everyone, though she was wobbling a bit where she sat. "I'm all good…slapstick is a staple in comedy!" Swiftly, Anne pulled a stapler out of her pants, snapping it down on her finger by accident, causing another loud gasp. "Don't worry! This one doesn't actually have any staples in it!" She pulled the stapler away from her hand to show that her hand was undamaged and, sure enough, there was a staple lodge right in two of her fingers, holding them together. "Huh…I'm sensing a connection her, but I can't quite put my finger on it!"
The crowd groaned at Anne's joke, and Haley rolled her eyes at her. She soon started picking at her fingers, pulling the staple out slowly. "Yowza! But, you know what's cool! This staple is made of chocolate!" She tossed the staple into her mouth, chewing on it a bit before gagging and spitting it out. "Oop! I guess this one was just a regular old staple! Silly me!"
"Alright, don't wear out your welcome, you just got here." Haley sighed and rubbed her forehead, clearly annoyed with Anne and her Anne-tics. "Anne, like Archie and March, you made the top six of the previous season. Does it feel bad that you lost so early?"
"Eh, can't say I've got any complaints. I'm just as chipper and goofy as usual!" Anne smiled widely at the host. "Winning and losing are like two sides of the same coin! Like…opposites or something, right? Yeah!"
"...Right. You know, Anne. You really are pretty special." Haley snickered at her harsh comment, though Anne simply saw it as an ordinary compliment. "Well, like the others, we've got some questions from the fans for you. Would you like to go ahead and answer some of these? I bet you'll have a lot of fun with it!"
"Sure thing, Halestorm! Oo, that is a reference, I think!" Anne clapped her hands together excitedly while Haley just groaned. "Not a fan of that one? That's okay, I'll get you giggling soon enough."
"Leeeet's just move on with the interview, okay?" Haley glanced down at her question cards, reading over them with a grin. "Our first question is coming at you from Nobody245. 'Due to the number of breakups that have happened this season, do you think you and Natt being separated saved your relationship?'"
"Eh? What kind of a lousy question is that!?" Anne seemed to be genuinely offended by the question, crossing her arms and glaring at the host. "Natt and I aren't some fling that can be shaken up by a silly game and the drama in it, so you can just forget about that happening! What we have is real! So, you can tell Mr. or Ms. Nobody that…uh…" Anne snapped her fingers and pulled out her clown horn, squeaking it loudly, much to Haley's displeasure. "There, I think I made my point."
"...I'm not really sure what kind of point you were trying to make there, but sure…we'll say you did. Ahem, as far as your other question goes…well, several people actually asked this one! Guess it's a real hot button topic! 'Can you tell us what you wrote to Natt after looking at the photo of him dressed like Sunny?'"
Anne immediately blushed, her face as red as the jacket she was wearing. "Why that's…I-I mean, I'm not sure I should share something like that…that was…that conversation is private! I can't just tell some random people about that!"
"Aw, are you sure? I really didn't peg you as the type to not answer a silly little question." Anne blushed even brighter at Haley's comment, quickly getting up and hiding behind March and Archie on the risers. "Well, there you have it, folks! Anne Banovic! Gotta love that little clown!"
The crowd started to cheer even louder than before, seeing all of the losers together on the risers. Haley stood up and walked to the center of the stage, tossing her question cards away. "Now, I did mention before that we would be having a super special important part in this episode after the interviews. That…would be a challenge!" The contestants on the benches perked up upon hearing the word challenge, except for Taylor, who was still asleep. "That's right, these six losers here will be competing in a simple challenge…one that determines whether or not they can return to the game!"
The crowd went absolutely nuts, with each of the contestants on the bench shooting up from the risers out of excitement…well, still excluding the sleeping Taylor from that. "I was tasked with setting this challenge up to be fair to each of them, which I know I well have! Our theme is a nautical season, of course! We are underwater, after all. So, the challenge could only make sense if it were something revolving around the sea."
Haley pushed the button on her remote, bringing the screen down from the ceiling again. On it, there was a picture of a touch tank. "We thought about a scavenger hunt in a touch tank full of sea urchins, but after some thought, we realized that would be far too dangerous for the contestants." The group at the risers let out a sigh of relief, hearing that the idea for that challenge was rejected. "So, in its place, we decided something a lot safer!"
Haley whistled, ushering to interns to roll a large tank full of fish to the stage. The fish were all dark blue in color, not seeming any different than the others. On the platform that the tank was on, there was also six buckets and six toy fishing rods. "We knew that we had to make this little challenge…a fishing challenge! Of course, you can't use your own equipment, so Alex can't have the advantage." The crowd let out a choraled "aw" after she said that. "I know, I know, but it is in all fairness. This is more than just a fishing contest, though. I did really like the scavenger hunt idea, so I knew we would have to keep it in somehow!"
The contestants and the crowd leaned towards Haley, intrigued to see exactly what it was that they were going to be looking for. "Of course, I'll let you all know the specifics…right after our third and final commercial break!" The contestants groaned while the camera panned out from the stage, soon cutting to commercial.
The camera cut to show a beautiful girl laying on a white mattress, of which she seemed to sink into. She was short, with beautifully tanned skin, and gorgeous brown hair. Her eyes were bright blue, sparkling with just a hint of drowsiness. She was wearing purple, silk pajamas…and she looked phenomenal in them. "Have you ever wished that you could sleep on a cloud? Feeling yourself being wrapped up with comfort, no matter which way you toss and turn?" She spoke her words quite slowly, but she did get the point across. Oddly enough, her voice was just as pretty as she was.
"Well, now you can! Everybody wants to get the perfect amount of beauty sleep to look their best. The PureComfort mattress is the only mattress out for sale that makes it possible." The girl turned to her side, seeming to sink right back into the mattress. "With a special padding made up of love and sunshine, this mattress is sure to envelop you like a hug from your closest friends. I'm Angelina Lark, world famous supermodel, and I recommend this mattress to everyone I know! It's just…just…zzz…"
Angelina seemed to drift off to slumber on the mattress, despite there being no pillows or blankets on it. The company's number showed up over the video at the bottom of the screen, as well as a link to the model's website. At the very bottom of the ad, in very, very small print, it read a mass of words. "Angelina Lark's presence in this advertisement was not approved by her manager, Kylie Conroy. Please do not tell her that we used her model for a mattress commercial. We are sure she will sue us, if not break our arms. Thank you, your friends from PureComfort."
Suddenly, the door to the room that Angelina was in was kicked down, paving way for a tall, ferocious looking woman to enter. She was built like a truck, and had her shirt's sleeves rolled all the way up. The text quickly disappeared and was replaced by the word "HELP." "Angelina, what on Earth are you doing!? We aren't getting paid for this ad! I swear to God, I am going to be breaking somebody's arms when I find who's responsible for this!" The video soon cut out after the break in.
The view came back to the Aftermath stage, where Haley was standing by the fish tank. The six contestants, including Taylor, who was now awake, though very loopy, stood around it as well. "Welcome back, everybody! I missed you so much!" Haley blushed twiddled her thumbs, only getting her a disapproving look from Archie…oh, as well as a massive cheer from the crowd. "I can go ahead and finish up the challenge rules and specifics now…if you guys are okay with that."
The crowd cheered even louder than before, causing Taylor to cover her ears in agonizing pain. Haley giggled, staring sweetly back at her fans. "Now, I did mention that I wanted to keep the scavenger hunt bit of the challenge to this…well, we did! Two of the fish in this tank have red bellies, only two! The goal is to somehow fish up one of the red bellied fish…that'll be your key back into the game. Yep! We're bringing back two of these losers!"
The contestants glared at Haley for calling them losers, but she was quick to move past it. "Is there anything I'm forgetting about the challenge…? I don't think there is, it's pretty straightforward in my mind. Oh…oh! I did forget to mention one, eensy weensy, teeny tiny part…all of the fish in this tank are piranhas!" The contestants gasped out of shock when Haley revealed this, though the crowd kept on cheering.
"How on Earth is that any less dangerous than having us try to scoop up a bunch of urchins?" Alex questioned Haley and the challenge, though the crowd was very quick to turn on him, holding their pitchforks up high. "S-so much for being appreciated by the fans…"
"There are probably one hundred fish in there…maybe more? I'm not really sure exactly how many we dumped in the tank." Haley shrugged her shoulders, looking as innocent as ever to the crowd, though seeming like the devil to the contestants. "I'm sure two of you will have no trouble getting the right fish for the challenge, though!"
Confessional
"Ay, dios mio!" March rubbed her forehead as she sat in front of the massive makeup mirror. "Sebastian may be crazy beyond belief, but Haley is so deceptive! Poor girl was really ruined by him…"
"There are a lot of things that are funny, or considered slapstick at the very least. Making six innocent people dig around in a tank full of piranhas for your own amusement doesn't fall into either of these categories." Anne honked her clown horn, bearing an angry look on her face.
Confessional End
Haley made sure that each of the six contestants had a toy bucket and fishing rod in their hands before she walked over to her sofa, sitting down on it with a cutesy little smile on her face. "Now then, do any of you have any questions before we get the ball rolling here? I'm sure the crowd is just itching to see you guys fish these piranhas up!"
"Yeah, I got a question," Archie spoke up, a grin on his own face. "How does it feel to be just as nasty if not nastier than your co-host?"
Haley's face flared up with anger and she glared back at the poet. "Watch your mouth- I mean…I dunno what you mean about that? Any other questions?" Some of the other contestants raised their hands to ask more questions, though Haley ignored all of them. "Alright then! On your marks, get set, fish!"
A horn blared loudly, and the crowd went berserk, signalling the contestants to get their butts in gear. Alex was inspecting the toy fishing rod in his hands, much disappointed to see just how impractical it was. With a sigh, he reeled it back and swung it forward, letting the two feet of available line to sink into the tank. A piranha was quick to latch onto the line, and the boy reeled it in as fast as he could. "Alright, ya bugger, let's take a look at your gullet, shall we?"
The adventurer grabbed a hold of the fish in question, turning it so he could see its stomach, only to be disappointed when it was just plain blue, like the rest of the fish. He sighed, tossing it back into the tank before recasting his line. Meanwhile, other contestants had other methods of how to handle their fishing. Taylor hooked a jug of whiskey to the end of her fishing rod, snickering evilly before letting it sink into the tank. She whistled while it sat there, soon reeling it back up to reveal that a fish had somehow slipped into the bottle.
"Aha, that's what I call a job well done!" The adrenaline junkie applauded herself and held the jug up high, flipping it over to get a better look at the piranha…only for it to slip out of the bottle and latch onto her hair. She started squealing, running like a wild animal all over the stage. Much to her disappointment, the fish in her hair wasn't even red-bellied, just an ordinary piranha. "Aw, you've got to be kidding me!" She ran back to the tank, sweeping the fish off of her scalp and back into its home.
"Jeez, Taylor, that sure is an aggressive way to handle this challenge." March giggled a little, holding her fishing rod over one shoulder while using her other arm to hold up her bucket…which was full to the brim with piranhas.
"March!? How did you get so many of those fish to get into the bucket!?" Taylor looked down at the bucket she had, astounded by it. "I could only manage to get one with my whiskey jug trick!"
"Well, maybe you shouldn't be trying to catch a bunch of fish with whiskey in the first place." Taylor waved March off, thinking nothing wrong with her methods. "As far as how I caught mine, well…" She glanced over to Benjamin, who had both of his arms dipped into the tank. He was whistling innocently, not thinking anything special of what he was doing. He pulled his arms out of the tank, showing that there were plenty of fish biting onto his arms.
"Wow, that sure is a lot of fish! This kinda tickles…AHHHHHHHH!" Suddenly, the boy flailed his arms violently, causing the fish to go flying all over, some landing back in the tank while others fell to the floor. March scooped a couple more of them off the floor and into her bucket, smiling sweetly.
"Keep up the good work, Benjamin! I'm sure you'll find one!" She leaned over to Taylor to whisper to her, "I really don't think he will, but it keeps him happy if you give him positive reinforcement. Anyways, good luck with your whiskey thing! I'm sure you're gonna catch some soon enough!"
Taylor grumbled to herself while March scooted away to count the fish that were in her bucket, soon casting the whiskey jug back into the tank.
Confessional
"Of course! The reason this trick isn't working well is because I don't have vodka!" Taylor slapped herself on the forehead as if it was supposed to be obvious. "Man, I should've known that no other liquor can do the jobs that vodka can."
"My arms feel like tv static!" Benjamin giggled a bit, showing off all the bite marks all over his arms before noticing that another one of his fingers was missing. "Oh no, not again!" He then opened his fist, showing that his finger was, in fact, still attached to him. "Oh…nevermind."
Confessional End
Archie watched the other contestants going buckwild with their fishing tactics, confused as to what exactly he should do to get a good amount of his own fish. While he tried to think peacefully, he was suddenly interrupted by an awful noise. It almost sounded like regurgitation…or something like that, at least. He looked around him to find the source of the horrendous noise, his eyes eventually landing on Anne. She was standing off to the side, pulling a chain of piranhas out of her mouth like a clown would do with a scarf rope.
"A-Anne!? What the hell are you doing with all those fish in your mouth!? How did you even…what the…I think I'm going to be sick…" Archie covered his mouth, his face starting to turn green from the awful sight.
"I know, right?" Anne was just barely able to squeeze the words out while she kept pulling fish out of her mouth, dropping them into her bucket. "I only remember stuffing one fish in my mouth for this joke. I wonder how many of them are left in there!"
Archie couldn't help himself at that point, he keeled over and vomited right into the bucket. The audience echoed a loud "ew" throughout the building, bringing forth a grin on Haley's face. "Oooh, talk about nasty! We've got one contestant sick out of his mind and several that are sick in the mind! I wonder which of these crazy kiddos will manage to reel in the right fish to go back to the game? My money's on not Archie."
Confessional
Archie was kneeling over a trash bin, still vomiting into it with green plastered all over his face. He pulled away from it for a second, glancing over at the camera. "I'm in here with some messed up people I swear to-...uhf…" He couldn't finish his sentence before the need to barf came crawling back.
Confessional End
The five contestants that were still good to keep fishing were busy at work while Archie was essentially out of commission. March was knelt down on the ground, picking fish out of her bucket to check and see if they had red on the bottom of them. One by one, she would build up anticipation, just to be disappointed when she found that they were regular piranhas. "Come on, one of you has gotta be a redbelly!"
"Having fun down there, March?" Alex chuckled as he saw her picking through her fish, casting and catching piranhas at record speeds. "Ah'm really having a spree over here! Woah there, fishy!" He reeled his line back in to see that a cluster of piranhas were biting onto it, bringing a wide grin to his face. "Now this right here is the jackpot!"
"Ha! Jackpot? That small amount of fish? I could get that many out of my mouth in twenty seconds, tops!" Anne kept pulling fish out of her mouth, though each of them were regular piranhas, to her disappointment. "If only I could pull the special clowney fish out of here."
"Please…I beg you…stop pulling fish out of your mouth…you're going to make my stomach explode…" Archie's gut grumbled loudly, causing Anne to briefly stop what she was doing. He looked up to her, pleading with her to stop…only for her to slowly start shoving them back down her throat. "W-what!? That's not any bett-...oh crap…" He barfed again, this time, splattering the comedian. She blinked twice, her eyes being the only visible thing on her face before she barfed right back on him, shooting fish out of her mouth like bullets from a machine gun.
"Oof, that sure doesn't bode well for the two of them!" Haley tried her best not to look over at the two contestants, mainly in hopes to keep the contents of her own stomach down. "I just wonder which of the other four is going to pull through and win this thing…eh?" Her attention was suddenly caught by something off to the side of the stage. "What on Earth is Taylor up to now?"
"I found my vodka!" Taylor cheered, holding a large clear jug over her head. She barreled towards the fish tank, not seeing the vomit all over the ground in front of her. It caused her to slip, making her throw the jug forth as she fell to the floor. The jug flew through the air, inevitably crashing into the tank. All of the piranhas went flying…each and every single one of them biting onto Benjamin when they did so.
"Oh, man! I got a whole lot of fishy friends! Why do I feel an indescribable pain right now?" The simpleton pulled his hand up to his face, seeing that there was a specific piranha latched onto his stump finger. This piranha had something special about it…a red belly. He stared at it for a moment, eventually screaming like a madman and running all over the stage.
"Come on, come on!" Alex was picking through his cluster of fish, trying to find a red belly of his own, though not having much luck in the slightest. "One of yas has got to be a red one!"
"Oh dear…" March glanced down at her bucket, only seeing one final fish in it. She gulped nervously, crossing her fingers tightly and closing her eyes before reaching in to grab it. She pulled it up, holding it in front of her face. Then, she very slowly started to open her eyes to inspect the fish. "It's…a red one! ¡Lo hice! Haley, Haley! I got a red bellied piranha!" March rose from her spot on the floor, holding the fish up proudly while Benjamin ran past her, screaming bloody murder.
"Would you look at that, folks! It would seem that both of the red-bellied piranhas have been found!" Haley announced the result of the challenge loudly, causing Taylor, Anne, Alex, and Archie to groan. "That's right, March and Benjamin are the lucky little winners of our challenge. Of course, this means that both of them get a free pass back to the show, and another shot at the five million dollars!"
The crowd cheered obnoxiously, causing March to blush nervously, but smile all the while. Benjamin, on the other hand, slowed to a halt right next to her, wobbling a bit before falling to the floor, all of the piranhas still biting him. "Anne, Taylor, Archie, Alex, sorry to say it, but you guys are gonna be stuck with me and…sigh, Sebastian, for the foreseeable future."
"Wait a minute, I forgot about Sebastian!" A man from the crowd shouted, ripping off his "I Love Haley" shirt to reveal a tattoo of Sebastian on his chest. "We want Sebastian, we want Sebastian, we want Sebastian!" The crowd began to chant madly, demanding that Sebastian was brought back, or that he never come back at all. It was an all out war again, and the sight of it left each of the contestants utterly speechless.
"U-uh, alright everybody! That's gonna be all of the entertainment for tonight, I hope you enjoyed the show!" Haley tried to close things up, only for a chair to be thrown at her, which she karate chopped in half. "Hey! No throwing the furniture! We have to pay for all of that ,you know!"
"I don't care, I want my Bass Daddy back!" A fan chanted, causing Haley to facepalm.
"Ugh! Everybody, I hope you have a nice night! Join us next time to catch up with our friends back at Atlantis!" With those words, Haley jumped into the crowd, cracking her knuckles. "You guys are gonna be in for it if you keep damaging the building!" And, just like that, the camera cut out.
Author's Notes:
*And we've got two of these wild contestants coming back into the game! As far as when they will return, I can't give an exact, but know that it will be sometime soon. After all, Aftermath is gonna need to grab another two people to take their spots! That being said, I hope you all enjoyed the episode, and I'll see you guys next time!
*Placements: 22nd - Crustacean; 21st - Thomas; 20th - Archie; 19th - Anne; 18th - Alex; 17th - Taylor