After some consideration, the 'facts' before the chapter title will be removed. Reading it felt like a databook rather than a story. And mostly because I have... plans. I'll reveal it after Flower District Arc.
And this is the last revised chapter.
(Chapter edited. There might be some minor mistakes.)
They had no longer spared each other's presence,
their bond was now all but divided.
Despite this, The Fool still remembers.
interlude
Mystery, Misery, Memory
Tsuyuri Kanao, at some point, had these thoughts lingering from the back of her mind.
They're already dead, why do people still had earthly desires?
They're just souls, why do they still wish to live comfortably?
They're gone, why yearn to exist again?
They are meaningless. Meaningless because they are temporary. Meaningless because they would fade. Meaningless because they had no purpose.
But despite being meaningless, why do people still reach after it? Was it because it was fleeting? Was it because it doesn't live long? Was it because— was it— was it—
Was it because it was the human instinct?
Was it because they longed for it?
Was it because they wished for it?
Was it because they gazed for it?
…or was it because it was only natural for them?
Tsuyuri Kanao doesn't know what was natural for—for her. She doesn't possess ambition, desire, nor dream; she doesn't know was supposed to be natural. Mind? Body? Heart? Which one is she supposed to follow and tell her what was natural?
Natural means it was to be expected.
Natural means it was usual.
Natural means it was ordinary.
Then, if it was normal, what was the purpose behind it? The earthly desires, longing for peace, yearning to exist again, what was the meaning of it?
Tell me, why do you desire that thing?
Tell me, why do you want a quiet life?
Tell me, why you want to live again?
Tell me—
tell me—
Tell me—
Can someone please tell me?
In the end, she doesn't know. She heard everything has a purpose, a meaning, a reason to explain an event that was unexplainable. If those words echoed some kind of truth; if no one can tell her what she wanted to know, then she will search for it by herself. She will look for it no matter what it takes. With her eyes, she will search for the purpose. Why everyone desired what was 'natural'. Why they longed for peace. Why they want to live again.
Yes, this will be her solution. An answer to her question.
…now that reminds her, Tsuyuri Kanao, where did she get this name?
…she forgot.
And then, she forgot everything.
Thus, she became an Observer from Farthest Gaze.
What Kanao first saw was an unfamiliar run down ceiling above her. In alarm, she immediately sat up from her position before wincing in pain. Trailing her eyes down to her legs, she reached to touch the newly secured bandage around her legs.
"If you're wondering about the bandage, I replaced it."
She raised her attention at the direction where she heard the voice and saw Tokitō Yuichirō… or maybe Muichirō?
"Again, if you're wondering, I'm Yuichirō. I guess you were pretty sleepy back there that you fell asleep in Hashibira's arms. Where did you go last night with that wound of yours? Well, whatever. I'll be back. Let me call Muichirō and Hashibira so my brother can formally greet you."
As she watched him going towards the door, disappearing from her sight, Kanao returned her eyes to her legs, looking at the neatly tied bandage from her legs as she started rubbing it gently, hoping the ease the lingering pain. While she was silently grateful what Yuichirō for replacing the bandage, she doesn't know what she was supposed to do in did say that his twin brother wanted to meet her, but she doesn't know if it was just to meet her. It is evident that they wanted something from her. Yes, she was saved by his twin brother but still, why go through all the lengths searching for her in 14th District and meet her?
"Tsuyuri Kanao, isn't it?"
Bristling her spine in surprise, Kanao looked up and saw the three of them towered before her. That was fast. She was startled at their sudden appearance and relaxed her posture before she nodded at the man which she assumed to be Muichirō.
"Good. I'm sorry if this sounded rude but, Yuichirō, can you leave us alone?"
When Muichirō spoke those words, she glanced at Yuichirou as she saw him eyeing his twin brother with a look as if he had already expected it. "I'm fine with it. Let's go outside, Hashibira. Let them talk in peace."
"Inosuke stays. This matter also concerns him." Muichirō instantly refuted him.
Sliding her eyes from Yuichirou, Kanao glanced at the good-looking man with green eyes who appeared uninterested at the conversation. Hashibira Inosuke… so that was his name. She made a quick note to herself.
Yuichirō briefly paused. "…alright. I'll wait outside. Take your time."
The three occupants waited for Yuichirou to walk outside as he closed the door behind him. Inosuke was first to break the silence before either of them could start.
"So? Yukana is gone, you two can start."
Kanao landed her eyes in puzzlement at the unfamiliar name. Yukana… For some reason, she had an inkling he was talking about Yuichirō.
"I was about to, Shinora, but you started first."
As if offended, Inosuke immediately reacted. "Shinora?! Who the hell is that?! If you're talking about my name, it's Inosuke! Hashibira Inosuke!"
"I know, you idiot. Unless you start remembering names clearly, I will continue to mispronouncing your name until then."
"What did you say?!"
He was… mispronouncing Yuichirō's name…? Yukana was far from Yuichirō though… Aiming an incredulous look at Inosuke, Kanao averted her eyes from him when Muichirō started talking to her.
"Let me formally introduce myself. I'm Tokitō Muichirō, Shinigami belonging in the Sixth Division. If you knew this Inoshishi behind me," he pointed at Inosuke behind him who shouted 'don't ignore me!' at his back and completely disregard him, "then let me also introduce myself as the former leader of Black Zeal. As for the incident at Orange Zeal a few days ago, I apologize for his behavior."
Kanao held her hands up when she received a bow of apology from him. "No, it's fine. I think I should show gratitude to you since you saved me back there."
"Ah, that? Don't mention it. Quite a bizarre situation, isn't it, since we're all present here."
"Yeah…"
With the exception of the siblings, it is odd they're having pleasantries to each other in this room together as if the incident a few days ago didn't happened.
"…now that's enough small talks. I will tell you why I called you here. According to Inobira, you seem to know the breathing technique he saw earlier this morning. Are you aware of this technique the whole time?"
As Muichirō's expression shifted to a hard, serious look—though, he doesn't look that much different from before but she noticed the subtle transition—Kanao blinked since she was not expecting to get questioned out of nowhere. "No. An incident made me realized it. I didn't know it until that. Is there something in it?"
He wore a subtle pondering look for a split second before returning to his usual expression. "…possibly. How did you discover it?" Muichirō asked curiously.
"I was in pain because of the poison. I did the breathing technique for a week and somehow, I was healed." Kanao respectively answered.
"Hmm… it can do that, huh? What about fighting? Did you use it while fighting?"
"No… not really…" She glanced to the side as she remembered the men she defeated in front of Red Light but that was most of her…probably.
Muichirou nodded at her reply. "I see. What about you? The same thing happened to you, right? The breathing technique?" He turned his head to Inosuke in inquiry.
Inosuke who had taken his time to lie down at the floor, he rolled his head to them and openly showed his scowl. "Did you forgot about it, you damn Mochi? Of course it did. You suddenly approached and told me you will taught me how to use my breathing technique effectively."
"And you did. But you didn't really use it for good, isn't it? Now we finally met each other after many years, I think I can say this to you after seeing how Black Zeal had fallen. I'm disappointed."
Kanao anxiously glanced Muichirō at his sudden change of tone before sweeping her eyes at Inosuke who grimaced when he received those words as he sat up and spoke in a hesitant, confrontational tone.
"T-That's your fault, you idiot! Why did you make me The Leader, anyway?! I tried my best to make my part!"
"Because I know you're a good person. But for some reason, you have become worse. Before you were all talk and bite but now, you're biting more than you should."
She stopped her glancing back and forth between them. What should she do? She had a feeling their conversation would escalate to something worse.
Hearing silence in Inosuke's part, Muichirou continued. "You never raised a hand against someone before, Inosuke, unless they deserve it. But when I saw you a few days ago, slashing Tsuyuri's wrist and legs, what the hell were you think back there when you did that? You attacked an innocent person; didn't that thought came to you? You broke the unspoken rule of Black Zeal."
"Bastard… Don't talk any further." Inosuke hissed through clenched teeth. When she saw that, Kanao wanted to slither away from them.
This is bad. This is really bad.
"Why should I? I have my mouth to talk, you can't stop me. Are you angry because I'm telling the truth?" Muichirō added mockingly, adding more fuel to the fire.
"Muichirō! I already told you to shut your goddamn mouth!"
Kanao watched Muichirō leaned back at the outburst, obviously taken back before he recovered and spoke with raised eyebrow, musing. "…that's rare. You got my name on second try."
"You…!"
Expelling a sigh, she raised her voice between them. "If you're fighting in front of me, I would like to leave."
Gaining the attention of the men in front of her, it was Muichirō who responded first after a brief moment of pause as he jabbed a thumb to Inosuke. "…no. I'm actually done talking with this guy. Arguing with him any longer will further waste my time."
She shot him a wide-eyed look, suddenly receiving déjà vu from those words. Where did she hear…?
"Hey, Inosuke, where do you think you're going?"
Snapping her attention at the other man when she heard those words, Kanao watched Inosuke moving away from them with a hard look on his face as he opened the door and loudly closed it behind him. She tilted her head when caught a glimpse of his expression. For some reason, why does he look like—
"That Inosuke… why does he look guilty?"
—Muichirō ended up echoing her thoughts.
"He probably left to clear his thoughts." Kanao spoke those words to reassure him. "I'm sure he will come back."
Muichirō shot her a dubious look before he heavily sighed. "I hope so. He must have did something while I was gone and made him somehow worse than before. Continuing our conversation earlier, it was the breathing technique, right?"
Taken back the previous topic earlier was abruptly returned in the conversation, Kanao gave him a flustered nod. He doesn't really waste time, isn't he?
"Just like I did with Inosuke, I will taught you how to use it effectively but I will not do it for free."
Hearing a matter-of-factly response from him, she stiffened. Just as she feared, she was right at her assumption. "…you wanted something from me?"
Muichirō wore a thoughtful frown as if he was confused at her words. "'from you'…you could see it like that perhaps. I'm giving you a proposal, a recommendation. And by accepting it, I will teach you how to use the breathing technique."
She cocked her head. "What is it?"
"Become a Shinigami."
It took her a full minute to process his words.
"What?"
And then the lightning flashed from the window, a roaring thunder echoing in the distance.
In the corner of his eyes, the lightning flashed from the sky as the roaring thunder echoing in the distance before droplets of rain started to pour down on him, gently prickling on his naked skin. Despite the swirling, troubling weather above him, he heed no thought from it, his thoughts currently occupied with more troubling matter swirling in his mind.
How dare he bring up those words? Inosuke thought, racked with unknown emotion churning in his chest. With Tokitō sharp and blunt tongue, he should have expected to receive those piercing words from him. Tokitō Muichirō was a person of critical mind with dicing critiques who was not afraid to voice his thoughts. And yet, despite seeing it miles away, the former leader still had a lasting effects to him, wounding his pride even though he thought he had already cloaked himself from the past experience, being the constant target of his brutally honest words.
Yes, he was a disappointment. Yes, he didn't live up to his expectation. Just what the hell Tokitō had in mind with him when he passed down the responsibility to him?
Because I know you're a good person.
Recalling those words, continuously echoing in his mind, Inosuke buried his face to his hands as the churning feeling in his chest returned heavier than before. Seriously, why did he choose him to become The Leader of Black Zeal?
"Do you have an umbrella with you?"
Hearing a feminine voice, he glanced to see the woman he carried earlier in his arms with an umbrella above her, providing protection at the itching sensation of the heavy rain. Inosuke scowled at her.
"What do you see in me? A handful of umbrellas?"
She just gave him a discerning look with an eyebrow raised slightly as if silently observing him. Apprehensively, he scoffed and looked away stubbornly.
"So, your talk with Muncho already done? That was fast." He started, hoping to shift her attention from him.
"It was a brief talk. He seemed to be in a hurry with Shinigami duties."
"Shinigami, huh?" He repeated indifferently. He can still remember vaguely back then when he refused the position of The Leader of Black Zeal, wanted to follow Muichirō's footsteps as a Shinigami but he had long considered it as an old shame.
"And also, since you weren't there, he gave me the responsibility to relay contents of our talk since the matter also involves you."
"Me?" He didn't expect he would be included.
"Yes. This is how our conversation went…"
People must have liked getting her off guard through words. With the only a dumbfounded word 'what?' she can come up for a response what Muichirō said to her, Kanao was reminded how Inosuke demanded a fight with her earlier with the same 'what?' response from her. She inwardly sighed.
Can't people mind their business and leave her to have her quiet life?
Unfortunately, a Shinigami named Kusajishi Yachiru doesn't.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you but I have to refuse your offer."
Looking over at his reaction, Kanao observed him as she said those words. He wasn't angry nor upset at her response, rather, he still had his indifferent look on him. She saw him closed his eyes as if he expected her reply.
"Can't say I didn't anticipated that but it must have come out of nowhere for you, right?"
Kanao didn't respond. If he had already expected her response coming, there's no need for further words.
"Take your time. I didn't say you were going to accept the offer now. I am simply giving it to you as an option—a choice, you could say. When you make up your mind, tell your decision to me, I'm not in a hurry to accept it now."
She openly showed her astonishment, not expecting the type of response. A choice, huh? Muichirou must have assumed she was not in the right condition to accept it right now and gave her time to think. She's not exactly sure whether to be grateful or dismayed about it but for now, she's quite relieved at his consideration.
Wait… speaking of consideration…
"Inosuke, your predecessor, knows about the breathing technique. Why didn't he become a Shinigami when you offered it to him?"
Muichirou paused, looking up as he regarded her words. "Circumstances was different that time. He was like a wild animal back then and he needed someone to tame him so I made him join the Black Zeal as an offer since I still lead the group before. The reason I made him follow my steps as The Leader because I know he had the potential but now… I don't know if I made the right decision…"
That… makes sense, she guessed.
"So the reason you made him include in this matter because you wanted offer him the same as mine." Kanao realized why Inosuke was deliberately included in the conversation.
"That's right. Even though I said those words to him, I think it's better for the current Black Zeal to fall on its own, seeing how low it had gotten under Inosuke's leadership and start anew with a new Leader." Muichirō rolled his words with a pensive frown before he looked up to her. "So, you got any more questions for me, Tsuyuri?"
When she was about to reply it was enough but curiosity gotten better of her when a question came over her. "Did someone taught you how to use breathing technique? Since you taught Inosuke when you're still leading Black Zeal, I thought it was a bit weird…"
Muichirou suddenly wore a thoughtful look; downcast, narrowed eyes with a pondering distant expression. He was silent for a while before he responded, "I guess it would be fair to tell the reason why I'm giving you that offer. It may not look like it was a simple proposal, there is actually more behind it." He moved closer to her, whispering, "Tsuyuri, no matter what you hear from me, no matter I said to you, promise me don't tell a single soul about this unless I permitted it, got that?"
Despite the confusion of the sudden discreetness, Kanao nodded in oblige.
He leaned back. "Good. Before I answer your question, let me ask you first. Tsuyuri Kanao—that's your name, right? Do you remember anything other than that, any memory about yourself when you were still alive?"
She shook her head.
"Figured. Then, back when you were still on your own, you had an irresistible urge to search for something? For example, the sudden restlessness to satisfy it but not knowing what to do about it."
Her widened in fraction before she nodded. "Yes."
"It was the same case as mine but it wasn't just me. Tomioka Giyū from the same Division as mine, the Shinazugawa siblings and Rengoku Kyōjurō of Eleventh Division, the Elder Kochō of Fourth Division, Younger Kochō of Third Division, Himejima Gyomei of First Division, Uzui Tengen of Second Division and also, Karonji Mitsuri and Iguro Obanai counts too despite not in Gotei 13, they all got the same experience."
"…there were people just like…us?" It was weird for her to say 'us' since she just met him. And also, Elder Kochō from Fourth Division? That's awfully… familiar…
"That's right. And just like them, we have a mission to carry out, not involving outsiders to prevent to find out." Muichirō paused as if to prepare himself before he continued in low voice. "To find out the truth of our seemingly amnesiac state when we arrived here in Soul Society."
Kanao listened briskly.
"Apparently, as we found out, some people was aware why we were given that state but they were forcibly shut their mouth for the sake of secrecy, preventing it to come out from hiding. For example…" Muichirou turned his head, trailing his gaze outside. She followed after him and gaze beyond the window as she saw his twin brother loitering outside.
"…your brother…?" She voiced out her thoughts.
"When I asked him about it, he stubbornly didn't budge. But he told me he was being 'leashed' by powerful figures, preventing himself from answering me. I didn't bother him any further than that. It wasn't loyalty nor dignity why he didn't respond to me, it was a threat from Central 46 for turning my brother into a prisoner of secrecy who unwillingly chained himself to obey them."
Central 46. As far as she can remember, they regulate the Soul Society as whole, working as a collective rational figures, carrying many jurisdictions with them under their belt. But for them to be involved of their lost memories, for some reason, it felt like they were…
It felt like they were criminals being cleansed of their sins. As in their case, it was their memories they were 'cleansed', preventing themselves from finding who they were when they were still alive. Why? They deserve to find out who they were, what was the reason Central 46 did that to them?
"Well, despite that, we actually haven't made any progress in our mission and we're getting a bit desperate, opting out to scout other people like us. I actually met you by accident when I was planning to recruit Inosuke. According to Iguro and Kanroji, they met someone who knows the existence of breathing technique. Agatsuma Zenitsu, was it? Whatever. When I'm done here, I'm planning to meet him after you under the guise of Shinigami duties."
Kanao… doesn't know to respond so she stayed silent. She thought her lost memory was just a common case in Rukongai just like Hara who named herself to identify herself among the mass. Who would have never thought that there was actually more into it?
Kanao decided to distract herself with another question. "Who taught you the breathing technique?"
"Oh. I nearly forgot about that. The person who taught me was Urokodaki Sakonji. He was a former Shinigami who wore tattered shihakushō and Tengu mask. He said he was on the run and searching for someone who defeated the 'living calamity' when he was alive. The way he said it, he seems to be looking for more than one person. Originally, he was our main objective in our mission since he spoke great lengths when he was still alive but had to rethink our quest. He might be even in the Human World to hide right now and we can't move freely without jigokuchō."
"…"
"Any more questions?"
"N…no. I think it's already more than enough."
More than enough was actually an understatement. Kanao can feel the throbbing headache from all those string of words she just heard and moreover, she's having conflicted feelings about Central 46 and her legs is kinda not in a good shape right now, considering it is currently burning painfully under her.
"I see," Muichirou stretched his legs and stood up. "Well then, even though it's raining heavily, I still have to carry my duties. You can rest here, Tsuyuri. You're still tired, right?"
Kanao refused his offer while standing up despite the excruciating pain. "No. I will go. The siblings I left is waiting for me."
He raised an eyebrow, glancing at her legs before looking up to her face. "That's fine. Grab an umbrella at the door. If you can see a spare, make sure to give it to a certain dumb idiot standing half-naked outside."
She blinked. "Inosuke?"
"Who else? Until then, Tsuyuri. And also," he stopped by the door and turned his head to her. "Tell Inosuke about our conversation. Make sure there's no one else around you, alright?"
Muichirou had already made it outside before she can respond to him. Kanao glanced at the window where she can see Inosuke standing outside under the rain. With a heavy sigh, she grabbed the only umbrella, not seeing a single spare before she opened it and walked outside towards him.
"…and that's the last of our conversation as he left."
He… doesn't know what to say. Inosuke didn't know the truth until now why he was recruited in Black Zeal. And for Tokitou to say it's for the good the group to fall on its own was a bit upsetting yet at the same time, a part of him was relieved at those words.
But it wasn't just about that matter. The words this woman spouted to him, it was all complicated and convoluted that he had to use his thinking to comprehend the situation. Like, a lot of thinking. Inosuke was annoyed when he realized this. What the hell, Muichirō, that bastard! He's making me think in a time like this…!
"Have you gotten all of that?" The pink-eyed woman inquired.
His eyebrow twitched as bulging vein appeared in his temple from aggravation. "Are you making me dumb?! Of course, I did!"
"Well then, I have to go." She said simply in response before she turned her heel and walked away.
"Wait!"
At his loud shout, she stopped her trail and turned around.
"The Fang of Vengeance—don't forget I will collect that from you! Make sure to heal yourself and we'll fight fair and square!"
The woman looked bewildered, blinking as if there was something in her eyes before she responded weakly, "Yeah…" She started ahead to her destination but didn't look away from him as if by caution he would attack her from behind before she was completely obscured by the fog caused by the heavy rain.
"Do you know this thing called metaphor, Inosuke?"
After he heard that, the prickling sensation from his skin disappeared before he noticed the shadow behind him as he looked back. Inosuke scowled at the familiar face peering at him.
"Meta-what?"
Yuichirō gave him a weird look. "You… did you live under the rock? Did you seriously not know? Fang of Vengeance. That's the example of metaphor, idiot. Don't tell me you're not aware of it? Whatever. I expected that from you anyway."
Inosuke crossed his arms with a huff.
"Well, speaking of metaphor, if we're talking in abstract words, you could say I'm burning right now."
"Ha?" Inosuke looked at him up and down. "Are you an idiot? You're not on fire."
Yuichirō's eyelid dropped into narrow, giving him an unimpressed look. He hanged his head and sighed. "Inosuke… you're really hopeless, aren't you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?!" He shouted, insulted.
"Exactly what it means. Go home before you get sick."
"I told you earlier, don't treat order me around like a slave in your biding!"
"You may say that and yet you walk away."
"Shut up!"
Watching Inosuke walking away without taking the umbrella from him, a sigh went through Yuichirō. Inosuke, what a hopeless idiot you are. But despite that, he never changed at all. He's still the same hot-blooded idiot who constantly seeks for a fight as if he lives through it. Always burning, always passionate.
Reminded of the word 'burning', Yuichirō recalled the conversation between him and the hot-blooded idiot. If only for Inosuke being hopeless, Yuichirō should've said what he wanted to relay. Despite Inosuke's words, he wasn't literally on fire. What a way to say the obvious but that wasn't what he meant. The fire he possessed in his heart was a silent, unseen one. It doesn't crackle, it doesn't crumble in literal sense but instead, it gradually corrupts his mind due to a certain emotion, an emotion he possessed since then even he was alive.
Anger.
It may seem an understatement because of his current behavior but nonetheless, he is always angry. The reason of his anger was many to count. Being 'leashed' by the certain figures he was shackled, the secrecy he was burdened into hiding because of the said 'leash', the helplessness he was feeling in his heart, his silence to not reveal everything—all of those are just among one of the reasons.
How could have this happen? Yuichirou thought afterlife was supposed to be peaceful and yet, it was stolen, forcing his brother to take once again the way of sword and endeavored himself and few others like him to search for truth.
Why did all this happen when they had finally reconciled? The result—the answer of his question was always imbued with anger but lashing out was never an option. He would never make the same mistake before. Not again.
Why? Why? Why? He wanted screamed in anger, to be lost in its scorching madness. What he longed was a calm, peaceful life with his brother, and yet it was taken away because of them. If only it wasn't for them, he would got what he wanted. If only it wasn't for them, this wouldn't have happen. If only it wasn't for them, if only, if only, if only…!
With all this thoughts running through his head, he walked towards to his home despite the burning anger in his heart. He may obey the Central 46, it doesn't mean he would easily forgive them.
With a tranquil fury running in his veins, he lived a life in Flower District as if everything is normal.
Looks like living normally was now out of question.
Kanao had initially thought observing and watching would be her everlasting 'hobby' while she sat in front of her 'home' without ceasing in her undying life. A single encounter changed everything. Everything that she thought would remain untouched as long as everyone minds their business.
What would have happened she didn't meet the Shinigami, Kusajishi Yachiru?
Of course, nothing would change.
If only Kusajishi didn't approached her, everything would have stay the same. If only she didn't save Hara, no one would visit her early in the morning before she went to work. If only she didn't meet the Captains, Unohana and Ichimaru in Seireitei, she wouldn't have survived the poison ordeal and passed through the boundary to Rukongai. If only she didn't meet Kusajishi's friend, she wouldn't have felt the threatening presence from Kenpachi. If only she didn't encounter the siblings and followed after them, she wouldn't suffered the injuries on her legs and wrist and then gets offered to become a Shinigami.
If only.
But everything changed now, isn't it? There's no way her normal, quiet life would go back the way it was.
Kanao stumbled in her steps as she felt her knees weakened and reached for something to keep her balanced. When she didn't touch anything with her hands, the umbrella was thrown ahead as she kneeled all fours to the ground, feeling the dampening of her yukata as it clung to her back from the rain. Looking at the forming puddle under her, she watched the single drop descending from her soaking hair to the still water as it created a ripple.
A ripple.
Huffing a single chuckle from her chest, Kanao adjusted her position so her rear touched the wet ground, her legs folded in her either side while flattened to the puddle and tilted her head up to the skies, feeling the droplets of rain tickling her face. A ripple. She had considered Kusajishi before as the rain to the quiet water of her life, creating a ripple of encounters after she had met the pink-haired Shinigami.
Of all people, it all started with her.
She's getting tired. Not because of the encounters caused by the Shinigami, it was just her body increasingly getting weary. Her legs are burning, her wrist are burning and the rain was strangely comforting. She wants to lie down; she doesn't care if she gets wet of the puddles under her. She only wanted to rest.
If Kanao gets sick from this then so be it.
"Do you need help from getting up?"
Just as she was about to close her eyes and lie down, Kanao heard a voice above her. Raising her attention to him, she can see an umbrella hovering above him and another one in his other hand. She immediately recognized it and pointed.
"That's… mine…"
Kanao was taken back at her own voice. Why does she sounded like a drunkard just now?
"Yes, I noticed. That's why I approached you."
She puffed a breath. And then, what, have a series of interesting encounters later on?
"Here."
Leaning back, she was startled when an outstretched hand came into her view. Returning her gaze back at him, she squinted her eyes to take a closer of his face. Glasses. Despite the darkness of the night around them, Kanao can see the glare of light from his glasses.
Tentatively, she glanced at his outstretched hand while she slowly lifted her hand to reach it as their hands hovered each other…
…then the pressure from the back of her neck returned at full force when her fingers touched his hand.
Now fully awake at the shock she felt throughout her body, Kanao instantly pulled her hand and crawled away from him, hearing the beating of her heart thundering in her ears.
Her strange behavior didn't go unnoticed by the man in front of her. "What's wrong?"
Raising the same hand she drew away from him, looking at it before glancing to the man, Kanao knew what she had felt earlier. It was the same feeling when Kusajishi's companion, Zaraki Kenpachi, visited her and used it to 'threaten' her. But except… it was different. When she touched him earlier, the pressure was heavier than Kenpachi that she was sure she would keel over at the heaviness if she was standing up. Instead of the pickling needle prodding her, she just felt numb, like a heart-stopping numbness that if she had touched him any further, she would have been frozen at the spot.
Dangerous, her nerves screamed, get away from him.
"…you don't need help?"
Hearing a confused inquiry from him, she attempted to get up to her feet despite the discomforting pain from her legs. "N-no, I can walk by myself—"
Her hands flew everywhere when her legs buckled under her. When she expected to land a cold, hard ground, her body collided to a warm object as hands touched her shoulders to keep her grounded.
Kanao stiffened.
"Bandages…? Are you wounded? Why are you walking under this weather in this state of yours, miss?"
Get away, all her senses shouted at her, or he'll swallow you whole.
"Miss…? Wha… you're trembling and you look pale! Are you sure you don't need my help?"
Wait… there's something Kanao noticed. The pressure was gone—not entirely gone, but the intensity was faint as if it was deliberately lowered and the numbing feeling was no longer there. Compared to earlier, touching him felt easier, approachable.
Reaching his hands that was gripping her shoulders, she raised her head up to him. What she should tell him? No, because she don't need his help despite the obvious that she needed it? Tell him to leave her alone and mind his own business? Or accept his offer and carry her to a local clinic?
No, neither all of them.
"Can you… take me to Red Light?"
She wholly received his frown. "Why there?"
Honestly, she doesn't know herself. It was the first place that came over her mind. She had no attachment to the place other than being her source of food whenever she gets hungry. Why there, he asks? If she needed a reason, this is probably the one.
Because in this time of night, Hara who is currently worked as an Oiran in Red Light will surely be there.
"Please," Kanao pushed her words, "take me there."
She saw his frown deepened. "Why not your home?"
Because I don't want the siblings to see me like this, she almost responded. Instead, she said, "Please."
The man looked at her with furrowed eyebrows as if thinking the weight of her words before he sighed. "Then please, can you take this umbrella for me?"
Blinking, Kanao promptly took the umbrella from him. "Okay… but why—"
She let out a gasp when she was heaved into the air, nearly loosen her hold of the umbrella as she found herself being carried by the man's arms. Kanao openly gave him an incredulous look who offered her a closed-eyes smile.
"If you carry the umbrella for me, taking you to Red Light like this would be easier."
This is the second time she had been carried like this. Though, the first time was a blur and she fell asleep. For the second time… Kanao doesn't know if she should be embarrassed or grateful at this man for granting her selfish request when it was obvious that she needed help.
Kanao offered him a faint smile. "Thank you."
The man returned her gesture, his dark eyes softened under his glasses while his hair swept to the side when he tilted his head. "You're welcome. If you're tired, you can sleep all you want. Don't worry, I'll make sure you'll arrive at Red Light."
As if comforted by his words, she buried deep in his chest, finding solace at the pressure she had feared earlier into a blanket of warmness. When she closed her eyes, she can't help but feel that she forgot something.
Ah, Kanao realized, she forgot to ask his name.
She made a quick note to introduce herself to him when she wakes up.
…
The Fool still remembers, the responsibility and companionship, he still remembers.
Tied down at his role of secrecy and authority, he can only look on as his companions ignore him.
Confined, leashed, chained, he can't take a step forward from his prisoner.
And so, The Fool waited.
For the Reunion to come.
epilogue
Author's Musing:
Talking about the eventually anime continuation/adaptation, I was thinking if they're gonna include Can't Fear Your Own World (since it doesn't focus on Ichigo but Hisagi) as its own arc or they're gonna cram it up in the Thousand-Year Blood War because if they do, that would be clunky as hell.
…
Terminology used in the chapter
(taken from r/bleach, wikia and google)
Chūō Shijūroku (Central 46): The highest authority of Soul Society below Soul King. Comprised of 40 Wise Men and 6 Judges.
Rukongai (City of Wandering Souls): The slums outside of Seireitei where souls from the World of the Living/Human Realm are sent.
Shihakushō (Garments of Dead Souls): A specialized uniform worn by Shinigami.
Tengu (Heavenly Dog):A type of legendary creature found in Japanese folk religion and are also considered a type of Shinto god (kami) or yōkai (supernatural beings).
Jigokuchō (Hell Butterfly): The butterflies used by Shinigami to lead them to the Human World. They are also used as messengers in Soul Society.
Seireitei (Court of Pure Souls): The citadel at the center of Soul Society where nobles and Shinigami live.
…
'A quiet life' and 'for the Reunion to come' is a reference to Kira Yoshikage from JoJo: Part 4 and Final Fantasy 7 respectively because I really like Kira as a character and a villain and you know as hell I'm excited for Final Fantasy 7 Remake… and watch the playthrough/walkthrough in YouTube because I'm poor and can't afford those expensive consoles.
And also, another hint(?) who that mystery Shinigami was in the last section of this chapter.
Regarding about author's musing from previous chapter, there's a livestream on March 21 since AnimeJapan was cancelled.