Ch. 3

Morgan opened her eyes to total darkness and wondered what had happened to the street-light outside her window. Her room always had some light, even in the middle of the night. It took a moment for the confusion in her mind to clear and for her to remember where she was and why she was there. New tears of grief sprung up in her eyes and she started to roll over to cry into the pillow.

Her whole body screamed with pain from the overworked muscles that had stiffened in her sleep. From her head to her toes, everything ached. Tears of pain joined the tears of grief. Every move brought on another burst of pain. She had never hurt this much in her life. Finally making it onto her side, she pulled a pillow to her face and sobbed into it.

When she didn't show up for breakfast, Wong came knocking on her door. By then, the tears had slowed and she had a stuffy nose with aching eyes. She didn't answer right away and he opened the door a crack.

"Morgan?"

"Yeah?" Her voice came out as a rusty croak, like she hadn't spoken in weeks…or she'd screamed until her voice cracked.

"Are you okay?" Wong made a tossing gesture and a soft, golden light spun into existence that was easier on the eyes than the LED lights the wall switch would activate.

"I hurt. Everything hurts. My hair hurts."

Wong chuckled. "We expected that. I have some tea to help with the pain and some liniment to rub on the worst of your aches." He came into the room with a basket in hand. Leaving the LED light off, he set out a teapot in a tea cozy with a cup and a pot of what looked like solidified snot.

"Is that supposed to look that shade of yellow?" Morgan asked, wrinkling her nose at the liniment.

"It works. That's what matters. You'll see."

She couldn't sit up to drink the tea, so he started rubbing liniment into her back muscles and to her surprise, it started to work almost immediately. She still hurt, but not so much she dared not move. After massaging the ointment into most of her major muscle groups, Wong sat back and she found she could at least sit up. She reached for the tea and made a face at the bitter taste.

"It works faster, straight," Wong said, smirking at the look on her face. Morgan nodded and knocked back the tea cup, drinking it as quickly as she could. Wong poured her a second cup and gestured for her to drink it. This one, she sipped and stared into the golden liquid.

"I forgot about my mom," she said quietly, giving voice to what had gurgled up through her confused thoughts as she wept. "Yesterday. During training. I always think about her, but for a while, I forgot." She looked up at Wong with tears brimming at the edges of her hazelnut brown eyes. "Am I a bad person?"

"Of course you aren't." Wong knelt on the floor in front of her. "Your spirit cannot hold constant grief. You did not forget your mother. She is always there, in your heart. Just because something distracts you does not mean you forget."

"I never forgot her when I distracted myself, before," Morgan said, looking away. A tear slipped down her cheek.

"I don't think you've ever worked as hard as you did, yesterday," Wong pointed out, reaching up to swipe the tear away. She told herself he was right, but the reassurance didn't touch the tight knot of guilt tied up under her sternum. Wong searched her face, frowning. Another tear slipped down her cheek.

"Okay," he said, taking the cup from her. "You are sore in both body and spirit. The best cure for what ails you is work." Morgan looked back at him with wide eyes.

"You can't mean…"

"Yup." Wong pulled her to her feet. She hadn't changed after falling into bed yesterday and protested that she needed fresh clothes.

"You can shower and change after you sweat," he said, hauling her out the door.

He took her to the same empty room they had used yesterday for her introduction to martial arts. She didn't quite believe he was doing this until he started walking her through the stretches and exercises they had performed before the lesson began the day before. In a daze, she followed his movements, gasping at one ache after another, but as they worked through the exercises, her muscles warmed up. The aches began to fade and the knot in her chest loosened. She didn't forget about her mom or her guilt, but it seemed easier to bear. What Wong told her started to make more sense. After all, she couldn't go the rest of her life dwelling on her mom's death. Eventually, it would become a more distant thing.

Wong didn't work her to total exhaustion the way Uncle Strange had the day before, but her muscles felt a bit like wet noodles when he sent her off to shower, change and eat.

Clean, dressed and fed, she met Uncle Strange in the library. With a sigh, she flopped down into a chair and let her head fall back. Her eyes closed and for once, her thoughts just sat in idle.

"Have you tried to look into the Web of Spirit again since last night?" Uncle Strange asked. Morgan laughed and winced at the wave of fatigue it brought on.

"When did I have time to? Wong drilled me until lunch."

Uncle Strange chuckled.

"Then clear your mind and look for it, now."

Morgan sighed. He made it sound so easy. Stretching her fingers, she concentrated on relaxing each muscle group. Twinges of pain held her back, but she just moved her concentration to those areas, adjusting her position to ease the aches. When she ran out of aches to chase down, she focused on the shadowy snow on the undersides of her eyelids. She breathed evenly, remembering the moment of peace that had let her slide into that otherworldly vision from the evening before. It almost, almost snapped into place, but another ache popped up and she had to start all over.

Thus began the most grueling days of her life. In the mornings, Wong trained her in martial arts. In the afternoon to evening, Uncle Strange handled her mystic training. For the first week, she woke up aching every day due to the exercise her body wasn't accustomed to, but as time passed, her body adjusted. The second week, she wasn't nearly as exhausted when she went to work with Uncle Strange in the afternoon, but she had finally gotten a feel for emptying her mind and looking into the Web. Uncle Strange introduced her to some beginner books and started on helping her touch the power she could see.

By the third week, she found herself waking up before Wong came to her room. She felt more awake and more aware than she could remember ever feeling in her life. Maybe that was from the physical training, or maybe it was the mystic training. She suspected it might be a combination of the two. By the fourth week, she actually had extra energy at the end of the day to spend on reading the books Uncle Strange had given her. It was then that Uncle Strange introduced her to her first sling ring.

"I want you to keep this with you at all times. If you have a moment to practice, do it, but do not cross a threshold without your phone on you. In case you get into trouble."

Eyes wide, she took the double ring from his hand. The metal felt warm under her fingertips, as though it had its own energy.

"Do you think I'll be able to open a portal right away?"

Uncle Strange grinned at her.

"There's only one way to find out."

She didn't. He showed her the motion, talked her through touching the power she could now see every time she closed her eyes. Time after time, he spun up a window into another place and the best she could manage was a spark or two. She could sense something there, but she couldn't seem to grasp it. The power slipped through her fingers like sand. She could feel it, but she couldn't command it.

"This isn't working!" Morgan shook her hands out and flopped onto the ground. "I'm not good at this. I give up."

Strange closed his own portal and stared down at her.

"Have you truly tried?"

"Yes!" She glared up at him. "Couldn't you see me trying?"

"I saw you. You're making progress, but you give up at the first obstacle." Morgan bristled and jumped to her feet, fists clenched. Uncle Strange pulled his feet up into his lotus position, floating in midair. Her anger swept over him like a light breeze. "Have you ever struggled to master anything in your life?"

She opened her mouth to protest and Uncle Strange arched an eyebrow at her. The look, alone, shut her up and she frowned, stopping to think. "I'm still working on my own armor, like dad's. I haven't gotten that figured out yet," she said in a low monotone, shoulders slumping and eyes glaring out of hooded lids.

"Is that because you can't grasp the concept or because you're innovating out of thin air because you can't access all the notes your father left behind?"

"I don't know. What difference does it make?"

"It makes a huge difference. Have you ever struggled to master a lesson? Have you ever had to actually study?"

Morgan's fists relaxed at her sides as her brow creased in thought. She reviewed all the lessons she had flown through, all the assessments she had aced. Rarely did she ever have to go over something a second time. Everything just made sense to her.

"No. Not really. This is the first time I haven't gotten it right away."

Uncle Strange nodded.

"You've never truly been challenged. I had never really failed at anything when I started down the sorcerer's path. I didn't dare allow myself to fail. Failure terrified me. I had to learn to deal with failure."

"So, wait. You had trouble during training? But you're the Sorcerer Supreme!"

Uncle Strange laughed and set his feet back on the ground.

"Having to work for something does not mean you can't master it. Quite the opposite, in fact. Flying through learning a subject creates opportunities to miss important aspects. Morgan, you don't have to continue your training. You can stop at any time, but don't give up because it's hard. The most important accomplishments in life are hard. That's what makes them accomplishments."

Morgan smoothed her fingers over the seams on her jeans, a nervous habit she had picked up in the last few days. She mulled over what Uncle Strange had said. She didn't like struggling with learning anything. It made her feel stupid. It made her feel like she wasn't making her parents proud; not doing them justice.

But, maybe she was looking at it wrong. Maybe just sticking with subjects that automatically made sense to her was the easy way out. Maybe real success meant tackling the hard things and mastering them anyway.

Stretching her left hand out, she watched the light gleam off the surface of the sling ring. Her sling ring. Neither her mother nor her father had ever tackled the mystic arts. Would they have struggled like she was struggling? Would they have persevered and overcome?

Her brow furrowed and her eyes narrowed at the sling ring. Of course they would overcome. It took all six infinity stones and an absolute point in time to take her parents away. She wouldn't let anything less stop her.

Taking a deep breath, she planted her feet, raised the hand with the sling ring and started the circular motions with her other hand. Sparks ignited in the air. They didn't quite make up a portal, but they at least made a circle. Strange smiled.

"Maybe I won't have to strand you on Everest after all."

The sparks stuttered out.

"What?"

"Nothing. Try again."