Episode 11: The Start of a New Life
"That's about everything I know. The Poipole are still a mystery to me," Prem stated. He was sat at a bright and colourful tea table with Dinair and Deana, while Laurent snacked on biscuits and juice. "This kind of leaves more up to Leos than I'd like, but I'm not sure what else I can do."
"So that is why they decided to marry the prince young. I don't feel that any of this is a coincidence, however," Dinair replied. They were totally calm despite Prem's explanation about the dark world Laurent came from. After a sip of tea, Dinair leaned across the table toward Prem. "The Radiant One is connected directly to the Constellars, you know."
"That's the first I've heard of that, and I was a Constellar when I was younger," Prem replied.
"That's because of the old High Priest. He led our Pokémon for his own gain, not our cause. The God of the Stars we look up to is the Radiant One. I'm not supposed to refer to them this way, but to outsiders, they are a legendary Pokémon called Necrozma," Dinair explained, and leaned back. "Cosmog is like a child of the stars given to us as a test. We raise it well, and it will evolve into a Pokémon that can call upon Necrozma, who will then fill our world with light. The power Leos can wield, called aura. This leads to an era of peace and prosperity… that's our legend."
"But then why is it in Leos and Griselle's control? Shouldn't you have been the ones to raise a Cosmog? Is that why you came to Halcandra?" Prem quizzed intently.
"No. I promise you; we came to Halcandra to address the issue with Kristen. This is the first time I'm learning about your Cosmog. I feel as though the way this is playing out is a strange trick of fate," Dinair answered. They stood up and began to pace, getting Deana's attention. "I don't understand where this Dark World fits in, nor what the arrival of the Poipole means."
"It does not have to mean anything. Lord Dinair, you are too worried about minor details," Deana said. They took a sip of their own cup, and then floated over to Laurent, who immediately hid behind Prem.
"You've been quiet and on edge since we got here. Is everything okay?" Prem wondered. Laurent replied with a shake of their head. "There's no need to be afraid. I won't let anything hurt you."
"Not that either of us would," Dinair muttered.
"I may have stingers on my head, but so do you. It is like we are one of the same thing, do you not think that is the funny?" Deana said with a laugh.
This Poipole can speak a lot clearer than Lau, but their words are still a little mixed. I wonder if they know each other, or if they're from the same herd or something? Prem swayed his head.
"Perhaps I should hurt you. Would that take away the shy from you?" Deana asked.
"Huh?" Prem reacted.
"You leave Daddy alone!" Laurent cried and came forward.
"Deana! Don't provoke our honoured guests," Dinair snapped.
"Ahahaha! It is okay, I was not really going hurt you. But it is funny that you are the scared of me. Also, daddy? Is that this big yellow guy?" Deana replied. Laurent puffed out their cheeks and pouted. "That is the funny. How can this guy be your daddy?"
"That's enough! We won't go there," Dinair stepped in. "Please excuse Deana."
"It's fine—" Prem said.
"He is my Daddy because I said he is my Daddy! Daddy is the person who cares about you and you love a lot," Laurent came forward.
"You love him? How can you love him? He looks like an alien!" Deana pointed and laughed.
Wait a minute, I'm the alien? Prem tried not to react, but that one confused him.
"Stop saying mean things about Daddy! You are the mean!" Laurent squealed.
"And you are the soft. Are you going to cry about it to mummy? What weirdo have you chosen to be mummy?" Deana laughed even more.
To Prem's surprise, Laurent blushed at the remark and tensed up, and then broke into a cry. The two Poipole started squabbling, trying to slap each other with their small arms or prod each other with their stingers.
"Whoa, that's enough. Stop it you two!" Dinair commanded, but neither listened.
This is… I shouldn't be surprised, but Laurent has some spine after all. That or seeing our recent battles did something, Prem thought to himself. "Kids will be kids, huh?"
"You see these two as kids?" Dinair replied.
"They look, act, and sound like it. This pretty much solidifies it. I think they're the youngest of their species," Prem put a paw to his mouth. Both Poipole quickly tired themselves out, puffing and panting flat on the floor. "They don't last long in a fight, either."
"So when Laurent called you 'daddy', you felt as though you became an actual father," Dinair said quietly. They giggled after a moment, and Prem raised an eyebrow. "My apologies. What brought that on, if I may ask?"
"You're reading too much into it. When I met Laurent, I quickly figured they didn't have an understanding of things or a place to stay. It was the easiest way to keep them safe. That's all," Prem explained. "What about you? Why is your Poipole so rude?"
"Honestly? Beats me. Maybe they're jealous," Dinair shrugged. "They're not normally this rude."
"Lord Dinair, the jealous? You think I am the jealous?" Deana cried.
"If you're offended, then you can stop acting like it. You've no reason to be mean to these Pokémon," Dinair said.
"There. Doesn't that seem like something a mother would say?" Prem commented, surprising Dinair. "In one sense, it's like you've chosen Dinair as your parent."
"Oh let's not start this," Dinair rolled their eyes, and he giggled.
…
In the fields between Eris and Faernia's kingdoms was a village nestled in a grassy valley. Far from each kingdom's towns or any notable dangers like dungeons, most didn't know that Pokémon had even settled here. Griselle certainly didn't, and was impressed by the view she and Leos were greeted to as they neared.
Tall, green cliffs sheltered a village underneath, while a large river ran through the centre. With so few houses, so much green, and a pleasant natural slope, Griselle was reminded of childhood days. Peaceful village life, where she could grow up in distant rural spots and no one was afraid of her hybrid shape.
"Wow," Leos whispered and smiled. They could spot all sorts of necessities nearby too, such as a farm with several fields, a water tower, and even a lookout post. The whole valley was bursting with colour, activity, and comfort.
"You say that like you don't see views like this every day," Griselle said with a giggle.
"It… hits different because we're going to be living here this time. And c'mon, like I'd ever get tired of nature," Leos snickered. "Don't you like it?"
Griselle was in summery clothes, a white, flower petal themed dress with a short but loose and flowy skirt. "Of course I do. It's a fresh enough change from Halcandra after how many months. What about you, Lollipop?"
"Pew!" squeaked the Cosmog on her head. The creature waved its arm-like appendages in glee.
"Hey, I thought we were going to lay down before we settled on a name?" Leos objected.
"Well I gave it a few tests, and Lollipop seems to stick. They like the name, too," Griselle said as she pulled Cosmog down to smile and tickle its belly. "Don't you, Lollipop? Yes you do, you are Lollipop, the little sweetie!"
Leos couldn't help but snicker as her voice descended into all manner of funny noises. Cosmog responded in equal measure, giggling and squirming away. "Being adorable about it is cheating, just so you know."
Both Pokémon froze, and then stared at him with stern, half-lidded gazes. "Ah-pew."
"Okay-okay, don't look at me like I'm a stick in the mud. Lollipop it is!" Leos laughed.
"Yay, you hear that?" Griselle cheered. She began to lightly throw and catch Lollipop, and the Cosmog went straight back to laughing. Leos sighed in relief of something, to which she giggled. "Something up?"
"Just… happy thoughts," he shook his head.
When they arrived, she was expecting the village to be cool from the clear sun of the fields, but instead, it was as if the shade didn't exist there. There were cliffs overhead, but plenty of sun still lit the place, while watery winds were their only saviour from the heat. Fittingly, a Sunflora with a walking stick was stood by the archway entrance. They were healthier and greener than any Sunflora that came to the urban towns, but this one's wrinkled body gave away their age.
"There you are. It's about time you rascals showed up," the old Sunflora began. "Don't give me those sketchy looks. I was told you were coming. Didn't think you'd be dumb enough to carry the legendary child in plain sight, though."
Leos and Griselle exchanged glances, and she stepped forward. "Where else were we meant to put 'em? Would be awful if we tried to keep him in a bag or something."
"And to be fair, we were hidden from sight in a coach until we got near the village. Might as well let them get some fresh air since we were close," Leos added.
"And if you had the wrong village? Some bandits like myself could come along and steal 'em," Sunflora threatened, leaning forward. Something about her tone and stance made the couple shift into battle poses, but Sunflora laughed it off. "I'm yankin' yer tails. I used to be a bandit, but if I tried to steal a child from you, I'd be melted alive in a day for it. You don't have to worry about a thing here!"
"Still not the peppiest welcome," Leos muttered. Griselle slapped his paw lightly and giggled.
"Welcome to Vanil Village, Your Highnesses. We call it a village, but really, it's just this tiny thing we got here. Follow me, we've got your honeymoon spot all tidy for you," Sunflora began to direct them. "And pardon me, I didn't even introduce myself! The name's Gretel."
"Thank you, Gretel," Leos bowed and followed.
"You'd do well to remember everyone's names here. We're all one big family. Me and the five others who've settled here," Gretel laughed. She waddled surprisingly fast, despite needing a walking stick. "It's quiet here. Not many dungeons nearby, or areas for feral Pokémon to hide and do their biz. So we spend our days in peace, and work to get our food and water. Hope that's not too mundane for ya."
"Oh trust me, I need a break from it all," Griselle replied. "Oh, wait… am I okay looking like this?"
"Looking like what, honey?" Gretel turned around.
Griselle was hesitant, and Lollipop seemed to react to her unsureness. "I mean… I just realised you didn't freak out at me."
"I was told you were coming, why would I- oh yes, the whole hybrid thing," Gretel slapped her forehead. "You don't worry about that at all, hon'. In fact, the others are dyin' to meet ya, ha!"
"That always ends well," Griselle sighed.
"Na uh. They're excited to meet you. These Pokémon don't really get news from the bigwigs," Gretel explained. She waddled down a few slopes, headed towards the river and a large gazebo with a waterwheel beside it. "Us, it's as if we're in our own little world away from the rest. No news, no drama, no celebrities, barely even a tale of war. Why, the most excitement we've had in weeks is Faernia and Eris' messengers telling us to setup for your arrival!"
"Is that really possible? You're right in the middle of the fields. Terrain like this is perfect for army camps and recruitments," Leos pointed out.
"Is it? It's so well hidden from view that I doubt many Pokémon even know there's a village here!" Gretel laughed. "But anyway, our folks have never seen a hybrid Pokémon before. They're more interested in what you're like than they are afraid. You've permission to show off to them."
"They'll be disappointed to learn I can't use moves," Griselle muttered.
"Speaking of, where are they all? I can't even hear other Pokémon," Leos wondered.
"Working the fields or something. It gets this quiet around this time. Don't worry about doing work right now, though," Gretel said as she came to a stop. She tucked her stick under her leafy arm and presented their new home. "Here you go, lovebirds!"
"Wait a minute," Leos whispered.
It was more than a gazebo. The gazebo was merely the outside front garden, which ran alongside the river, separated by a wall. Their new home was a wooden structure built into the side of the cliff, cleverly resembling a Samurott's head, horn and all. It looked like they could dive into the river from the windows, while a cave was their entrance. They even had a cute, Oshawott-themed mailbox and a couple of tilled patches.
"This whole thing?" Leos gasped.
"This is bigger than any home I've ever had… but why are you surprised? You live in a castle," Griselle pointed out.
"I've stayed in a castle a few times, but I've never lived in one before. And to be honest, a castle's got nothing on this. Look at this place!" Leos smiled. "It looks so cosy and cool. And it's practical, and near water, and- oh, I have to see the inside!"
"Leos!" Griselle squeaked as he rushed off. She bowed to Gretel. "Sorry, and thank you so much for this. He's not normally this excitable."
"It's fine, go chase him," Gretel laughed and gave her a playful shove. "And don't make too much noise tonight, lovebirds!"
"Er, right," Griselle said. She still hesitated and tugged at her collar before turning to leave.
Inside, Leos had already begun to turn the place into his own. Leaves were spread out to make a carpet in the main room, while scrolls made curtains anywhere that had a window, and he opened them all at first glance. There were only three rooms, yet Griselle could already find his books and belongings scattered around the shelves and corners.
"Two bedrooms and a main room, and then the stairs to leave," Griselle muttered as she put Lollipop down on the carpet. "Something smells fresh."
"Pupupuu," Lollipop mused in agreement.
"It's the woodwork," Leos called from the other room. She was surprised he even heard her. "C'mon, look at this!"
She came to find him arranging a toolbox in a bedroom, though she was more drawn to the room itself. A few vines and greenery flowed down the walls here, while another leaf carpet covered most of the floor. Otherwise, a single large bed sat in the corner, while a bookshelf and desk sat opposite.
"They must've known I'd want to look around here a lot. There's a map of the region, and a Perfect Rank toolbox. They even put a few fresh wands in here," Leos remarked. "The bookshelf's a bit big, but knowing me, I'll fill it up in no time. And there's way more space than we'll ever need in here, but it's simple enough that I won't ever get lost, unlike stuffy old castles."
"This bed is," Griselle mumbled. She hesitated to sit too, almost afraid of how soft and plush it was. She could sink into it, but she couldn't tell if it was going to break. Certainly a change from the hay beds she was used to.
"It's so soft, right? No need to be afraid!" Leos cheered as he jumped on.
"Ah, Leos—" she gasped as he pulled her with him. She quickly lost balance and rolled between the soft sheets and his fur. Something made it seem like it would hurt, but no pain came. There was only Leos' unusually excited chuckles, and a bit of tangling from her dress.
She opened her eyes and found herself directly below him, both his paws at her sides while her gaze went directly into his. Her heart began to race, even though she instinctively relaxed a bit.
"Not yet, soldier," she whispered, putting a paw to his lips. He seemed confused for a moment, and then went bright red.
"Wa-wait, that's not what I—" he gasped, and threw himself off her. "S-sorry! I didn't mean to—"
"Why're you shy for?" she giggled and sat up. "I left Lollipop in the other room, is all. But we really should wait until they're asleep."
"Wa-wait? Um, yes, right," Leos cleared his throat. "Lollipop might need their own bed, too."
"Leos," Griselle mumbled.
"Yes?" he replied quickly. That made her giggle, and she held his paw.
He's so nervous, she realised.
All they did was walk back through to the front room, and yet she became very conscious of so many things. Whether her grip was too tight or too loose on his, how fast she walked, how he was feeling now and what he may have wanted… how fast her heart beat. What just happened visually stuck in her head.
Was it something she wanted? Was she ready? Or did she mess up, and was supposed to play along? Leos was her husband now; this was something they had to do. Who could she ask to answer those questions? Whatever the answers, this angst drove her crazy, made it feel like time was going slowly, like something in her body hurt – even though all they did was walk to another room to see Lollipop.
The Cosmog curiously bounced around the room with the same zeal as Leos earlier, prompting him to dive for it. "Got you, before you hurt yourself on something. I never thought about this, but I wonder if we'll have to baby-proof the house?"
Griselle was blank. She heard him, but the image just wouldn't leave her mind. What was it about being beneath him in bed that stuck so much? I'm not scared of this, but why does it feel like… this isn't fear. I'm not scared of Leos, I'm not—
"Griselle?" Leos said, making her jump and gasp. She covered her mouth. Her breath was shaky. "Are you okay? You blanked there for a moment."
"I… yeah, I'm okay. Sorry about that," she replied. She shook herself and smiled. "Lollipop's just a baby, what's the worst that could happen?"
"Err, could chew something they're not supposed to?" Leos shrugged.
"He doesn't even have teeth! Or just keep your books on the high shelf," she giggled.
"Pewpu?" Lollipop replied, twisting a little in Leos' paws.
"Yes, you. No eating paper. And no bashing things, either," Leos ordered.
"Pew pu! Pu, pu, pu, pew!" Lollipop cheered happily.
"That means he's gonna eat everything in sight," Griselle giggled. "Save some for me ya hungry blob!"
"Wait, you're not going to eat my books too, are you?" Leos gasped.
Griselle laughed. "No one's eating any books!"
The last room was clearly meant to be another bedroom. Similar to their own room, only it had the more typical hay bed of a Pokémon lodging. A flat mattress of hay, leaves, and other soft materials sewn together. The room had a window too, but this one faced the cliff, so the room wasn't as bright.
Maybe I'm worried for nothing. No… I AM worried for nothing. That was just an awkward scenario. I've had more than I can count with Leos. Mostly my fault, too, Griselle sighed in relief. "We don't even have to label it. This is Lollipop's room."
"Hmm. I wonder if I can inquire about a cot, though?" Leos said as he put Lollipop on the bed. "You know. This kid's pretty active. If he wakes up before us or something, it'd be bad to have them wandering around."
"Seriously, he's not gonna eat your books," Griselle stated.
"No, no, I'm serious. I know the village is pretty quiet and stuff, but we are next to a river. Better to be safe than sorry," he suggested.
"Okay, good point. You're a pretty heavy sleeper, too," she teased.
"Me? Wait, I am?" he said.
"I dunno! Think ya can wake up when he wakes up?" she giggled.
"If I have to, then I will. That's not a choice. But I still think it's better to be safe than sorry," he replied.
"Then let's go get some extra wood. There's still some time left in the day," she suggested, scooping Lollipop up.
"Ah uh, sorry. That's not very romantic, is it? Sorry, I just got worried," he admitted, scratching the back of his head.
"Sorry?" she cocked her head.
"… You know. This is supposed to be our honeymoon and stuff, so it'd be all special and romantic and stuff, and… yeah," he muttered. He eyes kept diverting and he played with his paws the whole time.
"It's okay. This is important, ain't it? Seriously, ya got a good point," she replied. He's so nervous… but I really don't mind this. I-I don't know how to make this super romantic, either.
"That's the thing. I've never actually built something like a cot before," he admitted, leading the way out the house. Griselle undid her dress and hung it off the side of the bookshelf as they walked out. "No clothes?"
"Eh, they make carryin' stuff annoying. But I can build, so it's fine," she shrugged. She stopped to admire their garden, though. "Oh I am lookin' forward to getting this thing goin', though."
"Gah no, I feel bad if you're doing all the work!" he remarked. "… But I can't help it. If you can maybe just like, give me pointers and stuff…"
There's that pride again. Oh Leos, you silly bean, the comment made her giggle. "I'm just talking about the garden. I love gardening, but I could never do it 'cos the kids in Halcandra always messed with stuff. I told you before, me and Mama used to do a lot when we lived in the Second Country."
"You did say, actually. I won't get in the way there, then. Eager to see what you can do with flowers," Leos commented.
"Bold of you to assume I'm gonna be growing flowers," she giggled, half-lidded.
"Oh? What are you planning on growing?" he wondered.
"Edibles, of course! I can grow lots of spicy fruit for you, right here. Me too, I guess I can put sweet stuff on the other side! Pechas and things!" she rambled.
"It's a funny thought. You're super strong, yet you want to deal with delicate stuff like berries. I thought only grass type Pokémon liked that sort of thing," he commented with a paw on his hip. "Think I can help here, too?"
"You need to be really strong to deal with plants, Leos. It's tough work. Not saying you can't do it or anythin', but I wouldn't wanna flare up your asthma or something," she explained.
"If I have to push myself, I'll let you know. I just don't want to sit around doing nothing while you do all the heavy lifting," he promised.
"But that's you, soldier. You literally cannot lift heavy stuff. If we're still talkin' the garden, I'd be happy with you and Lollipop keepin' me company! That'd bring me back to the old days," she said. Yeah, that would be like the old days. Hot days out in the dirt, hours upon hours rooting stuff…
"Urf… if there's anything I can do to actually help, you won't hesitate to ask me, right?" he asked with a slump.
"Have I ever not done that? I hope you know I've always done that," she replied.
That perked him up. "You're right. Sorry about that."
"Hee hee. I love you, Leos," she said, nuzzling him a bit.
…
The rest of the day went about as well as expected. The duo managed to find Gretel, who happily gave them access to a community box in the village. At the same time, Gretel gave them a brief tour of the village, so the duo knew where to get what they needed in the future. They had more than enough wood from that and spent the day building the cot as intended.
Leos got to help in the end, too. Since it was a self-made job, Leos got to draw up plans and a design to which Griselle followed, and they got done in record time with little trouble at all. The whole time, the duo chatted and played with Lollipop, and the hours flew by. Before they knew it, the sun had set and Lollipop had played themselves to sleep.
When nightfall came, the temperature did a one-eighty. Griselle wasn't cold, especially not with such fluffy blankets or the warmth of their home to help, but she knew not to linger out at night if the area was this chilly. Things felt even quieter as well, with only the river running in the distance, or Kricketot occasionally humming somewhere.
She stood over Lollipop's cot with an unsure look. The Cosmog was asleep, snoring away on a circular pillow. I didn't think this through.
The cot was built for the average baby Pokémon, but Lollipop was not an average baby. Not matter how she pictured it in her head, she couldn't imagine putting a blanket on it would be safe or comfortable. Lollipop was already asleep though, so could she just leave them there?
She opted to twist the blanket and wrap the lower half of the Cosmog in it, creating a Pokémon ice cream cone. Not only did it look cute and delicious, but if Lollipop decided to wake up and play with the blanket, they'd have a hard time covering themselves or something.
I'm a genius sometimes, Griselle praised herself as she admired the adorable baby.
Now it was time. The moment she turned to their new bedroom, her chest weighed her down and her heart sped up. There was no reason why, right? Maybe she should sleep here tonight, just to make sure Lollipop slept soundly. This was their first night after being asleep due to the legend, after all.
She shook her head. What's wrong with me? Why am I putting this off? All I have to do is be with Leos. That's how it'll be from now on. That's what I wanted…
She came to find him at the toolbox again, this time with a book on the desk, too. "It was so quiet. Is Lollipop already asleep?"
"Yeah. I guess all that walking around in the sun tired them out. It's their first day, after all," she said, nervously sitting down. At least here, she was still nervous about not breaking the bed.
"Sorry about not saying goodnight. I got carried away here," he admitted, still fiddling with a few items. "I'm getting a bit curious about the villagers here. They know what they're doing more than Gretel let on."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Griselle walked over. The weight in her chest vanished.
"The community shed had so much leftover material, all cut and ready for use. But there were wands and seeds in there too, and tons of food. I'm sure you noticed," he pointed out. "And now I've just seen in the toolbox they casually handed us. A slumber Wand followed by a Surround Wand. And both of these are modified to have a good amount of uses. For a place that supposedly doesn't see much danger or action, that's a really powerful combo, don't you think?"
"And they just gave it for free? Why complain?" she asked, happy about it. "You don't think they've got secrets, do ya?"
"Well I don't want to think that, honestly. I just can't help but ask myself why they have this, and why they'd happily give it away," he asked.
"They probably just don't have any use for it. But we're the city kids, so we know how to use it. Probably will, if we're going exploring tomorrow," she replied, returning to the bed.
"… You're right. Maybe I am reading too much into it," he mumbled. He continued to work for half a minute, and then perked up. "No. You're right. You're totally right."
"Huh?" she looked surprised.
"The war is over. It's been over for ages now. That whole Dinair stuff just put me back into the mindset. Not everyone's trying to kill me anymore," he stated as he impatiently stuffed everything back into the toolbox. "And I sure as heck shouldn't be worried about that when it's our time."
"Oh no, it's fine! Don't let me interrupt you. I'm not ready for bed yet either, to be honest," she admitted with a nervous laugh. Just like that, the weight returned.
"But it's true though," he said. Everything seemed to slow right down again. She focused on him and the oddly innocent look on his face, and loosened up when he held her paws in his. "We don't have to worry about fighting anymore. It's just us."
"Leos," she said quietly.
Something was happening. Something overwhelmingly unpleasant. Her surroundings faded and all she could feel was Leos' careful touch. He reacted worriedly though, so she must have been reacting negatively, too.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yes, yes I'm fine," she huffed, forcing herself to give him a smile. He smiled back so she must have managed it, but she still felt empty forcing it. She let herself sink back into the mattress. "J-just go slow, please."
She breathed through her mouth, her focus was all over the place, and she felt hotter than she could take. As he guided her under the covers, it felt like she was fading away into another world, one where the moment seemed to go agonizingly slow, and another where a thousand processes were running through her at once.
I'm cuddling him, right? We just going to hug and kiss and stuff… that's all I ever wanted. That's what I worked towards for so long. So why, why am I so… why am I so weirded out? She couldn't help but shudder.
She had to blink and hold her breath to get a hold of herself. She was below him again, the two of them wrapped under the blankets of their overly soft bed. They were so close together she could feel her fur tangling in his, as well as every movement his paws made. His movements seemed to be conscious of her entirely, not touching any uncomfortable areas or trying to force her into any positions. In fact, he wasn't actually even kissing her.
Yet everything was so foreign and unpredictable, like a battle against a foe she had never met before. She moaned lightly as she attempted to reciprocate his actions with her own intimate ones, bringing her paws to his sides as if to bring him closer. Nuzzling him brought her breath out, and rubbing his sides made her wriggle in excitement. When their lips touched, it was as if his excitement grew as well, and his hands began to caress her belly, as their lower bodies touched even closer. Both actions made her anxiety spike, and her moany breaths became frantic.
I don't know what to do… I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
The words screamed in her mind, and she gasped and whispered them, too. Just like that, Leos froze, and she stared up at him. His gaze was lost too, and in the warm lighting, she could just about notice his eyes were a little watery. Otherwise, her panicked breaths filled the air, and her paws went to her cheeks.
"I'm hurting you," Leos shuddered.
"Huh?" Griselle whispered and froze.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Leos gasped and rolled off her.
"Leos, I—"
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise you weren't- I didn't mean to—"
"Leos it's okay, I—" she cut herself off. No. No, no, no, what do I say? I don't even know what to say!
A long moment of silence followed. She was able to settle her breath, but she didn't dare touch him now. She knew what to do, what they were meant to be doing, and yet when it came to actually doing it, it became the toughest thing in the world.
He wasn't hurting her. He barely even touched her. She knew deep down he meant no harm in this attempt to make love, but just like moments ago, everything she knew she could do felt terrifying to do right now.
"I'm so sorry," he whimpered. He wasn't facing her, but she could feel the held back tears in his voice. "I thought we had to… we were meant to."
Her whole body churned with sick, but she fought it. Finally, a solution came and she fought for it. The best she could manage was to shuffle over and cuddle him. The moment she did, he seemed to stop trembling.
"Can I be honest?" he asked.
"Please," she said with just as much petty in her voice. He slowly shuffled over and returned her cuddle, though it was nowhere near the intimacy they had before. It was the comfortable type of hug they were used to sharing. No tangled fur, no shared breath, no held paws.
"I don't know what to do. I've never done it before. I thought I could do it because it's what you wanted, but the moment we started, I got scared," he said. "Now I don't know what to do."
Both their paws gripped each other.
"It's… okay. I don't know what to do, either," Griselle admitted with a whimper.