A/N: Finally
After two days of flying with only a handful of breaks, the Water Tribe siblings finally made it. The journey to get back home was rather cathartic. Being hundreds of feet up in the air with nothing but the sound of the wind was the best place in the world for reflection. Reflection for the past, present, and most heartbreakingly, a future without Gran Gran in it.
Sokka guided Appa to land right next to Gran Gran's hut. Since it was the middle of the night, there wasn't anyone around to start the commotion of how the Avatar's flying bison was in the Southern Water Tribe. The one person who did hear Appa land was their father.
When he stepped out of the hut, his jaw dropped when he saw the bison. It took a few moments for him to register that the flying bison wasn't alone and his children were aboard the beast. His expression immediately softened as Katara and Sokka rushed to him for an embrace.
"I didn't expect to see you two here so soon," he said as he pulled himself out of the hug. His eyes drifted back to Appa and confusion was plastered across his face. "Is that the-,"
"Yeah," Katara cut him off, "We'll explain later. How is Gran Gran?"
"About the same," he replied softly. "You can see her now. Pakku is sleeping in the guest chambers, so she's all alone."
"Why don't you go first," Katara told Sokka. "I need to make Appa a structure to keep him warm for the night." He nodded and reluctantly made his way inside.
Once he was inside, Katara bent a huge dome with a massive entrance for Appa. She was about to call for him so he could enter, but the bison didn't need to be told as he scurried inside instinctively.
"So… are you going to explain to me how you got here on the Avatar's bison? Not that I'm complaining or anything, but I hope you didn't steal him. I'm sure the Avatar wouldn't be too happy about that. It might start another war," Hakoda said teasingly.
Katara let out a small laugh. Even during a time like this, her dad would never miss the opportunity to throw in some dad humor. She knew he would try to lighten the atmosphere a bit before she would have to see her grandmother and she was extremely grateful for it.
"Sokka and I have actually become pretty close to the Avatar. And you can just call him Aang by the way." At some point, she would tell him about her and Aang's relationship, but she wasn't here to drop something as massive as that when much more important things were in the forefronts of everyone's minds.
"Aang. Hmm, sounds strange without hearing Avatar before it. How is he by the way? The last time I saw him must have been four years ago."
Her posture straightened at that remark. "Wait, you saw him that recently? You've never said anything about that." Katara had known that her father had spent quite a bit of time with Aang and the other leaders once the war ended, but once all the treaties were signed, he hardly ever left the South Pole.
"It was more of an encounter. He probably wouldn't even remember it."
"Let me guess, you tried to hit him with your trademark Southern Water Tribe humor," she teased.
"No, I saved him," he responded proudly. When he glanced at his daughter, he chuckled at her dumbfounded expression. "Not like that. I saved his evening. Remember when I went to the Northern Water Tribe to discuss some trade agreements?"
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with Aang."
"He was there too. Apparently, he was working on his healing abilities and our sister tribe decided to throw an informal banquet for his final night in the city. Anyways, during the night, I saw him get cornered by a few of the younger women who were eager to give him a going away present if you know what I mean.
It was clear as day that he wasn't interested. The only problem was that the poor kid was too nice for his own good and couldn't say no. As amusing as the scene was, I decided to step in and in my proudest chief voice, I told the ladies that I needed to speak to the Avatar alone."
"And that worked?" she asked completely enraptured by the tale.
"Sure did. Although, it may have worked too well as I might have scared the Ava-, Aang too."
"That's it? You didn't talk to him afterwards?"
He shrugged. "He thanked me and I told him to enjoy the rest of his night. I'm sure he had better things to do than talk to an old man like me."
"How come you've never done anything like that for me?"
"You?" he said with a snort. "Whenever a boy was coming onto you too strong, you didn't need my help. They were perfectly clear that you weren't interested."
She smiled sheepishly at him. "I guess I never thought of it that way."
The two then turned their attention to a groaning sound from Appa as he was struggling to find a comfortable position to sleep in. It was adorable to see such a ferocious animal acting so cute.
"How have you taken the news?" he asked in a tone much somber than it was a few moments ago.
Katara let out a long sigh. "I'm not really sure how to answer that question."
"That's ok," he replied comfortingly. "This is a lot to take in."
"Yeah… it really is."
"Before you go in there, I want you to promise me that you'll try not to feel guilty."
"Dad I-,"
"No," he cut her off firmly and grabbed both of her shoulders. "I know you Katara. I know that you feel guilty that you weren't here, but your grandmother wouldn't want that and I don't want that. We all wish things were different but they're not. Can you try to do that? For her?"
She looked up at the pleading look in eyes. He was right of course. Among the many things she thought about on the flight over, the what if scenarios were the most gut wrenching. Maybe if she was there, she could've helped Gran Gran and stabilize her condition before the damage was too severe. Maybe if she never left home, the heart attack wouldn't have happened in the first place. While she understood that these thoughts weren't doing her any good, they were unavoidable.
"I'll try."
"Good," Hakoda responded brightly and brought her in for a hug. "This is going to be a tough stretch for us, but we can get through it together as a family."
"You can see her now Katara," Sokka said quietly emerging from the hut.
She nodded and saw the tears on his cheeks reflecting from the moonlight. Her father gave her one last squeeze on her arm before she began the short walk to the hut.
When she entered, she suddenly noticed things she never really thought about before. The rug in the living room still had the stain from when she accidently knocked over Pakku's wine glass five years ago. One of the chairs in the dining room had a chip in it when Sokka was fooling around with his boomerang as a toddler. The sofa still had the tear from when Katara bended an icicle at Sokka and barely missed him.
Katara could have just stood at the entrance for hours thinking about all these memories and mementos but ultimately, that would accomplish nothing. She needed to see her grandmother and get to say goodbye the way she never had the opportunity to have with her mother.
As she approached Gran Gran's bedroom, Katara could literally feel the shift of energy in the hut. What had always been a source of safety and comfort was now filled with dread and finality. With a few deep breaths to gather the courage to enter, she burst through the door. The room was illuminated with a single candle and everything felt so normal. She had been in this room hundreds of times before but was never as uneasy as she was now.
Katara's breath hitched when she finally saw her. Gran Gran looked so… peaceful. If she didn't know her situation, she would look like she was simply asleep. Hesitantly, Katara took the remaining steps to be right by Gran Gran's side.
Katara went into healer mode and began to analyze Gran Gran's chi. Part of her fantasized that because of her superior healing abilities, she would be able to bring her out of the coma and save her. It took almost no time for her to realize that not only was Gran Gran's condition set in stone, her energy was so weak that Katara knew that her time was close. Not wanting to waste any more time, Katara grabbed one of Gran Gran's hands in her own.
For a while, she just stared down at her. Despite knowing what her condition was, the thought that Gran Gran's eyes would never flutter open again was killing her inside.
"Hi Gran," she finally said softly. "I thought about a million things I wanted to say to you on the way, but now that I'm actually here, I'm not really sure where to start. I guess I'll just say how thankful I am and I'm going to miss you so much. I'm not sure where I'd be if it weren't for you. I know dealing with me and Sokka probably took a few years out of you, but you always were the one to keep the family together. You were always the one I turned to when I needed someone to talk to and I'll always be grateful for all the wisdom you have given me. Umm…"
Katara let out an ironic snort and wiped away a few tears with her free hand. She was never one to be at a loss for words, but here she was having no idea what to say in what could be the last time she spoke to her grandmother.
"I know you said you wanted to come and visit me in Republic City once I was settled in, but I guess the best I can do is describe it to you. It's so different from here, yet it's amazing," she said with a proud smile.
"The weather is perfect, the smell of the ocean is something I'll never get tired of, the architecture throughout the city is beautiful, and the people can be… brash, but seeing all of the different cultures united together is what really makes the city so special. I wish you could've gotten the chance to see it."
"Also, I met someone… Well maybe met isn't the right word since I met him 10 years ago. I know you were shocked like the rest of us when that the goofy airbender I saved from the iceberg turned out to be the what may come as an even bigger shock to you is that he might be the one. We've only been dating for about a month, but I can't shake the feeling that we are destined to be together for the rest of our lives."
Katara paused before continuing as she could've sworn she saw a faint smile on Gran Gran's lips. Shaking that ridiculous thought from her mind, she continued.
"I sound like such an idiot, don't I? Dating someone for such a short amount of time and being hopelessly in love with them. Maybe this will all blow up in my face and he'll realize he can do much better than me. But I hope not. He makes me so happy and I pray I can make him half as happy as me makes me."
"You know, he's not much different than when you saw him all those years ago. Sure, now he's tall, handsome, and carries the weight of the entire world on his shoulders, but he still is the same goofy airbender that brought so much fun into our lives for the brief time he spent here. I'm sure he'd be even able to brighten your mood on the days where you were extra grumpy."
For the next few minutes, Katara once again returned to staring at her grandmother to try and ingrain her image as deep into her memory as possible. She wasn't crying as much as she imagined she would but being a healer for the last 10 years and dealing with the grief of losing her mother had gotten her better prepared for a tragic situation like this.
Katara let out a massive yawn and realized the fatigue of traveling on Appa was starting to set in.
"I should probably get some sleep. If I don't see you again, I just want you to know that I love you so much and I know you will always be looking down at me."
She stood up and pressed a long kiss to Gran Gran's forehead. When she moved away something was off, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. It then dawned on her that she knew exactly what has happened. Gran Gran stopped breathing. Katara frantically checked her chi, her pulse, anything that would indicate what she feared. Unfortunately, they all told her what she needed to know; Gran Gran was gone.
The next 24 hours were a blur. From telling her dad, Pakku, and Sokka the tragic news to setting up the memorial service, it all felt like a dream. She stayed in her room the rest of the night struggling to find the peace of mind to be able to drift into deep slumber.
The memorial service was able to commence rather quickly. Years ago, Gran Gran requested that she didn't want all the bells and whistles that came with a traditional funeral. In fact, her exact words were, "burn my body and be done with it."
And that they did to an extent. In the wee hours of the morning, they cremated the body, gathered close friends and family, said some prayers, and buried the ashes right next to Kya's grave. Katara didn't allow her mind to even think about her mother otherwise the pain of losing both of her favorite women in the world would be unbearable.
When word got out about Gran Gran's passing the following day, the whole tribe wanted to pay their respects to Kanna of the Southern Water Tribe. A feast in her honor was set into motion. While Katara didn't really want to attend, she begrudgingly went and put on a fake smile to storm through it.
To her surprise however, the feast lifted her spirits considerably. People of all genders and ages gave speeches about what Gran Gran meant to them. Seeing how much of an influence Gran Gran had on so many people in the tribe made her proud to be related to someone so special. The fake smile she had to begin the feast was transformed into a genuine one and by the time she returned to her room for the night, sleep came easy.
The next morning, Katara went to the dojo to work on some waterbending. While her spirits were a lot better since her arrival, her brain was still having a hard time adjusting to the reality that Gran Gran really was no longer with them.
"I knew I'd find you here."
Katara dropped the orb she had bended and whipped her head around to see her waterbending master walking towards her. She hadn't really interacted much with Pakku since she got back. He seemed like someone who needed some space and she was more than happy to provide that to him.
"That obvious huh?"
"Pretty much," Pakku responded with a small smile. "How are you holding up?"
"Good I guess with all things considered. How about you?"
"About the same," he replied with a sigh. "I think it still hasn't hit me quite yet that she really is gone."
Katara nodded her head in agreement. "I know what you mean."
"Your grandmother was the strongest person I've ever known. Even if she did break my heart all those years ago."
"To be fair, you deserved it."
"I did," he replied with a chuckle. "I've been a sexist prick most of my life. But you and your grandmother have helped me grow out of it. I'm just grateful that I got to spend the last years of her life by her side."
She smiled and her mind drifted back to some of the memories of her first interactions with Pakku. Their dynamic started off a little rocky to say the least. While he had promised Aang he would be Katara's waterbending master, he certainly wasn't fond of it in the beginning. They eventually grew to respect one another, and their relationship only grew when he officially became part of her family.
"Here," he said and handed her a letter. "A messenger hawk came soon after you left the hut this morning."
"Thanks," she replied and took the letter from his grasp.
"Looks like it's from the Avatar," he said with a smirk as she saw his eyes drift towards the Air Nation symbol on the seal."
She smiled with her cheeks flushed and gave him a quick hug. When Pakku walked out the door, she opened the letter from Aang.
Katara,
I hope Appa treated you and your brother well and got you to the South Pole in a timely fashion. You and your brother had to rush out, so I didn't get a chance to say much while you were still here. I'd like to offer my deepest condolences to you and your family. I don't know the exact condition your grandmother is in, but regardless, I hope you are holding up well given the circumstances. I know I only met your grandmother that one time, but I could feel an energy that radiated from her that told me she was a strong, powerful woman. I'm sure she means a lot to you and your family and her loss will be devastating.
Please do not feel pressured to come back to Republic City before you are ready. Everyone here is aware your situation is very understanding of what you are going through. And don't worry too much about Appa. He'll be fine and is a good listener if you need one. I miss you already and I hope to see you soon (but not too soon).
Love,
Aang
She couldn't help but trace a finger over the word "love". It probably was a gesture of sending his best wishes during a difficult time, but it meant something to her. While she knew it was unrealistic and highly unpractical, she wished he were here now. Having someone to cuddle with after these long, grueling days would be nice. Thinking about the airbender made her mind drift back to a few weeks ago when he attempted to teach her how to meditate.
"You want me to teach you how to meditate?"
"Yeah!" Katara replied excitedly. "It seems to do you wonders, maybe it would do me some good."
He laughed at her enthusiasm. "Ok, sit down like this."
Katara saw him sit in a lotus position with his fists punched together and attempted to copy his position. She sat down and struggled for a bit to get comfortable. When she felt like she was in the correct position, she smiled at him hoping for his approval.
"Not quite," he said and stood up to adjust her posture so her back was strait in line with her skull. "Perfect. Comfortable?"
"I guess so. Do you have to be seated like this to meditate?"
He shook his head and retook his seat. "This is the most common way, but you don't have to be like this. When I got my tattoos, I was in all sorts of positions and-,"
"Wait, you were meditating while you got your tattoos?"
"Of course. The technique airbenders get their tattoos is excruciatingly painful and lasts 12 hours a day for an entire week. The mental aspects of airbending are just as important if not more important than the physical aspects. Being able to put your mind in a place that allows you to not feel pain while needles are digging into your skin is like the final step in achieving mastery status with the mental aspect of becoming an airbender. Now, just sit in this position for a while to get used to it."
She sat like he requested and she felt comfortable for the most part. A nice leather chair would be better but she could see herself in this position for a while to meditate.
"Before we go any further, tell me what you think meditating is about."
She thought about how Aang looked once he was finished with his daily meditation sessions. "Emptying your mind and relaxation?"
"No, but those could be benefits of meditation. Meditation is all about learning how to put yourself in the present moment. We do that by focusing on our breath. Your mind is naturally going to wander to things outside of your breath while meditating. When that happens, you need to acknowledge that it is happening, and instead of trying to flush it away, you need to return focus to your breath. Understand?"
She nodded eagerly and closed her eyes and turned her attention to her breath. The first breath in was easy to focus on. When she breathed out, her mind drifted to that annoying cabbage merchant who was once again pestering her about how Aang needed to be imprisoned for crimes against humanity. What was his deal? What did Aang do to him that would cause him to hate him so much? Her eyes shot open when she realized how quickly she lost focus.
"Not that easy, huh?" Aang asked with a bemused smile. "Meditation is something that requires patience and practice before you see any real benefits from it. I remember when I first started learning, I couldn't even sit still for more than ten seconds before I'd become bored out of my mind. I thought I would never be able to do it. Like anything else though, when you put your mind to something, anything is possible.
She smiled at the memory and decided to give meditation another shot. She sat in the lotus position, knuckles pressed together, closed her eyes, and took a big breath in. When the breath came out, her thoughts drifted to a memory of her grandmother slapping Sokka's hand for trying to get a second helping of sea prunes before he was supposed to.
Realizing her mind drifted to that, she regained focus on her breath. In and out. This time, she was able to get a few breaths in before her mind once again drifted to another memory of her grandmother. This time, it was when Katara was grounded for freezing Sokka outside of their hut after he said something sexist to her. She laughed in realization that Aang wasn't lying at all that meditation takes time to learn. For now, she returned to her own form of meditation: violently launching icicles at a practice dummy.
After finishing up her waterbending, she went home and began to write a letter back to Aang to inform him on the current situation. As much as she loved the family time and spending time back home, there wasn't much left to accomplish. She got to say goodbye and mourn with her family. The longer she stayed, it felt like she would be treading water versus moving past this. With that in mind, she made the decision that she would spend a few more days in the Southern Water Tribe before embarking on the journey back to Republic City.
Aang,
Thank you for the kind words. It means a lot to me and my family. Gran Gran is gone, but thanks to you and Appa, Sokka and I got to chance to say goodbye. I'm not sure how we can ever repay for it. I'm doing ok. I think the opportunity to say goodbye really helped and spending time with my family is making the mourning process a lot easier.
By the time this letter reaches you, I'll already be heading back. I promise that I'm not coming back because I feel pressured to. While the sadness is still there, getting back to my normal routine will help me move forward. I miss you too and I'll see you soon.
Love,
Katara