Hey guys. I'm actually happy with how this chapter turned out—I hope you like it. Here you'll get to see a little bit more of what's going on with Carlos. You might be upset at him towards the end, because he lies to the guys, a lot. But he has his reasons... Enjoy.

"What kind of topping do you want on your pizza, Carlos?"

I shift in my seat, turning to look at Kendall, who is sitting across from James. James is to my left and Logan is sitting across from me, Katie in between Kendall and Logan.

"I, uhh..." I can feel their eyes on me once more, and in that moment, it feels like the little space between where James is sitting and the wall to my right, is decreasing in size. It feels like I'm being suffocated; like it's all caving in. I can't even think straight.

I rack my brain for a response, blurting out the first thing that comes to my mind and putting on a smile. "Pepperoni," I say uneasily. Kendall nods his head and gets up, walking over to order the pizza. I turn my attention away from him and turn to look at my two brunette friends and Katie, giving them a questioning look when I find that they are still staring at me. "What?"

"You just seem... off," Logan responds, "not to mention that you look a little pale. Are you feeling alright?" I can see the concern in his eyes, and it does nothing but make me feel guilty for worrying him. I feel James lay a hand on my shoulder. I subconsciously jump, not expecting the physical contact. He gives me a worried look too. I want nothing more than for the earth to swallow me whole.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, is all," I respond. "I'll go to bed early. I'm sure that'll help," I say, though knowing me, that will most likely not happen. I can't sleep at night. My thoughts won't allow me to do so. They're bad during the day, but it is at night when they bother me the most. Sleep is not something that comes easily, which causes me to be exhausted during the day. It's not a nice feeling; having to go about your day, feeling like you're going to drop unconscious any second. It's draining, to say the least.

"Alright," Logan says. I turn my gaze to the table, not wanting to meet his eyes. I can still feel them on me. I feel James remove his hand from my shoulder, and soon, the two start talking—the topic being something about pineapple pizza being gross, Katie disagreeing with them. I kind of block out their voices, or try to, at least. All this talk about food is making me nauseous, and I wish that they would stop.

As if things couldn't get any worse, Kendall returns shortly, carrying plates with pizza slices. He sets mine in front of me. I feel my stomach do flip-flops just at the sight of it. I reach for one with my hand, watching as the other boys start eating with no problem. I force myself to take a bite and pass it down, not wanting them to question me any further. It takes a while for me to finish one slice of pizza, and by the time I finish it, I find that I am full. Unfortunately, I still have three slices in front of me. I don't know what to do with them. The mere thought of eating any more has my nerves skyrocketing.

"Um, James, can you scoot over a bit? I'm gonna ask if I can get a take-out box," I say. The taller boy gives me an odd look. "What's wrong?"

"You only ate a slice," he points out. I mentally slap myself, not even knowing what to say to him. "At least eat another one."

I nod my head and grab another slice. I don't know how I manage to do so, but eventually, I manage to finish it. James scoots out of his seat and offers to get the take-out box for me. I nod in response and thank him when he hands it to me.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Logan asks. Sometimes I really hate how much he worries and how easily he can detect when something is wrong. I smile at him as we walk out of the pizzeria, hoping he'll believe the next words that fly out of my mouth.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Guess I'm just tired because of school," I say. Logan nods, but I'm not sure he believes me. If I were him, I wouldn't. I'm far from what most would refer to being okay, but he doesn't need to know that. No one does. I don't want anyone to know—it would just be a weight on their shoulders; a burden of some sort. If there's one thing I hate more than cruel people, it's being a burden to others. I would honestly rather suffer in silence, than have people worrying about me 24/7. I can take care of myself. I'll be fine. At least, that's what I keep telling myself over and over, and I've started to believe it.

"Hurry up, you slowpokes! You're gonna get left behind!" Kendall shouts from a few yards away. Sure enough, he, James and Katie are pretty far from us. I run to catch up with them, Logan following suit. It's not until I have finally caught up with them, that I feel a feeling of dizziness take over me. I grab onto Kendall's shoulder, trying to steady my balance. My vision blurs for a second, and I can't help but allow a feeling of panic to drape over me.

"Carlos?" Kendall asks. I shake my head, managing to shake away the dizziness. "You okay...?" He stops walking, turning to the other three. "Guys, go on ahead, we'll catch up with you guys in a second." Logan and James nod reluctantly and start walking away. Katie follows them, but not before shooting a worried glance in my direction. Kendall and I keep walking, but at a slower pace.

"You okay?" he asks again. He turns to me as he walks, green eyes filled with worry. Out of the three, he had been the one to not seem so concerned. I was hoping he wouldn't think anything was wrong, but I guess that was a little bit too much to ask for. When it comes to the ones he loves, he worries, a lot—more so than Logan. James worries too, but out of the three, Kendall's the one who's always keeping an eye on everyone, making sure everything is going smoothly. And once he sees that something is wrong, he doesn't let it slip.

"Like I told Logan and James, I'm just tired. There's no need for you to worry," I answer him, feigning a smile.

"I'm just... worried. You've seemed really tired for a while now, more so lately than ever. I just want to make sure you're okay." He looks kind of hurt. It makes me feel guilty. "Besides, I have every right to worry. You are my best friend, after all."

"It should be the other way around," I mumble under my breath, hoping he didn't hear me.

"What?" He stops walking and stands in front of me, confusion clear on his face. "What do you mean it should be the other way around?"

I sigh, running a hand through my black tufts of hair. "You shouldn't be worrying about me. I'm the oldest. I should be worrying about you, about all three of you," I say, regretting it as soon as the words spill from my lips.

"We're brothers," Kendall whispers, and if he looked hurt before, he looks a lot more hurt now. "It doesn't matter if you're the oldest and I'm the youngest; I'm still going to worry about you, because I care about you." His words should be comforting, but they're not in the slightest. "It hurts that you'd think otherwise."

There it is—the guilt. It hits me full-force. Of course, he doesn't know it, and frankly, that's how I want it to stay.

"I know. You have nothing to worry about, though. If something was wrong, I'd let you know," I lie.

"You promise?" the blond asks. I swallow the lump that's grown in my throat and push my feelings of guilt to the side, smiling despite the feeling of sadness that has settled upon me.

"I promise."

So, I was about to upload this, and then I realized that I forgot that Katie was with them. I had to go back and include her in the chapter, so hopefully, I didn't mess up and confuse anyone.

What did you guys think? Was it good, bad, great, awful? Let me know. :) And thank you so much for reading!

~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)