...Kit...
I lose track of time as the days begin to blur together. For the first time in my life I feel somewhat normal. Tony thought it was best to leave me out of any and all meetings surrounding Keiran. Something, something PTSD. I didn't argue with him. Instead I spend my days reading in the great room with floor to ceiling windows and the softest couch I've ever sat on, or I wander through the grounds and the massive main house. Natasha accompanies me a lot but I think it's more out of obligation than anything. She doesn't complain though, instead she sits near the windows in the great room with her own book and just lends me her presence. It's comforting.
On days when I'm too wired to sit around and read a book or wander aimlessly around, I train with Bucky or Steve or anyone willing to spar with me in the state of the art gymnasium. Bucky is usually the only one that will drop whatever he's doing to spar with me, but Steve comes along when he has a free moment. Bucky and I have grown closer and closer since the dinner party and I can no longer ignore the butterflies that fill my stomach any time he looks at me. His constant staring that used to irritate me to the ends of the earth is something that I have grown more than accustomed to.
"If you could go anywhere in the world, right now, where would you go?" I ask Natasha one afternoon as I peer over at her from behind my book. She doesn't react immediately but after a second a small smile pulls at her mouth and she glances up from the page in front of her.
"Ohio," she says simply, her crooked smile widening just so.
"Ohio?" I set my book down beside me and swing my legs over the edge of the couch and lean towards her. "Why Ohio?"
"Sentimental reasons, mostly." She doesn't elaborate, and I don't push. "What about you? Where would you go?" I shrug.
"I've been everywhere... but I don't know if I'm being honest. I think I'd look for home."
"What do you mean?" The sun shines in brightly on her, turning her red hair into flames. Natasha is effortlessly beautiful and I have always envied that.
"I don't really know how to explain it. My parents died when I was really young so I just kind of bounced between relatives and friends.. then Dreykov got ahold of me and I spent my time in the Red Room. After that I just wandered. I think when I was in Madripoor I felt the most at home. So maybe I'd start there." I can't imagine finding comfort or ease in a 'white picket fence' life style after everything I've been through. It could never feel authentic to me. Natasha's smile has fallen from her face to be replaced by a far off, thoughtful expression.
"That's Ohio for me. It's the place that feels like home. Where Yelena and I spent our time in the woods and riding bikes through our neighborhood. I've been back to see the house we lived in a couple of times. It's totally different now, but it still feels the same. Especially in the summer." Her smile is back and her eyes fill with the ghosts of her memories.
We fall back into companionable silence for such a long time that the sun begins to set. The room around us takes on a deep, golden hue by the time I stand up and stretch my arms over my head. Natasha fell asleep at some point and I walk over and shake her with the toe of my shoe just as Bruce Banner walks in the room. 'Walk' may not be the right term, as he stumbles into the room with his hands full and a wild, excited look on his face.
"I did it!" He exclaims. It's just the three of us in the room and his eyes dart between me and Nat as if he expects us to join in his celebration. The only problem is, I don't know what we're celebrating and Natasha is still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
"Congratulations," I say, eyebrows raised in confusion.
"The... the serum! The one that they used on you? To, um, limit your strengths?" He marches towards us quickly and I nod along. Of course I know which serum he's talking about. "Well I figured out how to counteract it! And get this, not just counteract it, but to inoculate against it!"
"That's great, Banner!" I say, slapping his shoulder. "But I'm only following about 85% of this conversation." He fumbles through his lab coat and pulls out another vial, one that I recognize from the medical tray back at Keiran's building. An icy cold hand grips my heart and squeezes tightly just at the sight of the damned thing and I stamp down the fear that threatens to overtake me.
"This one," he waves the vial in front of me. "If I were to inject you with this one right now, your entire system would essentially shut down. It wraps itself around your altered DNA and stifles the serum that pumps through your veins. It won't kill you, but it takes every bit of strength you possess. Not to mention all of the other qualities that the serum gives you. Accelerated healing, speed, strength, energy... everything."
"Right, I know. I was kind of there for that part. I'm more interested in that one," I say pointing at the other vials in his hands. Natasha stands at my shoulder now, fully awake and intently listening to Bruce.
"These ones," he shuffles the vials around, replacing the one from Reed in his coat pocket, and dropping one of the ones produced here into my hands. "They prevent that from happening." He glances between me and Natasha with a look of unadulterated pride.
"I'm still not following. I mean, I get what they do," I say quickly as I see him gearing up to explain it again. "I totally get that. But why? Why did you make these?" Confusion fills his eyes now.
"To help protect you guys." His tone suggests that I should know what he's going on about.
"Protect us from what? Keiran can't get in here."
"Bruce," Natasha breaks in, placing a soft hand on my shoulder. "She hasn't been in any of the meetings, remember?"
"Oh, that's right." He reaches up and scratches the back of his neck with his free hand and as he takes the vial back from my hand I see his cheeks begin to turn pink. Which, I guess is always better than green. "Um, I lost my phone, Nat. Can you give Tony a call and let him know it's done?" Natasha nods and Bruce excuses himself. I turn to Natasha for an explanation and I can see she that she'd rather be anywhere else in the world right now.
"So? Why did he make those?" I cross my arms and stare at her with a quirked eyebrow.
"You've been spending too much time with Barnes. You're giving me his patented stare down."
"Don't change the subject, Romanoff." She rolls her eyes but concedes anyways.
"Fine, but if Tony or Steve jump me for telling you, I'm sending them to you. We've got a date for taking down Reed. But we needed Bruce to finish up these serums so that Bucky and Steve could go in without being compromised."
"What about the rest of you?"
"The rest of us don't have super soldier serum. So that one wouldn't do anything to us."
"What about the other ones?" My heart begins to pound again as I relive the very worst of the serums. "The fear one? The.. pain."
"Bruce and Tony developed serums to combat those pretty much the day you got back here with them. They brought in Strange to help fill in the gaps. But since those two attacked the brain to create the fear and the pain, they were easier to figure out. The serum is your DNA. There isn't a way to separate the two, they became one during your transformation into a super soldier. Bruce has been working tirelessly trying to figure it out."
"So you have serums to fight against the fear serum, the pain serum, and the serum that quiets the super soldier?"
"Yep, that's what we've been working towards. That's why there hasn't been a whole lot of action lately. We've been waiting for this."
"That's great news," I turn this information over in my head. With these serums produced by the Brains of the group, there's no reason to sit on the side lines anymore twiddling my thumbs. I can be a real part of the group and carry my weight. I can help bring down Keiran Reed. "That's great. When is the next meeting?"
"I don't think that's-"
"I'm an adult, and I get to decide how much I can handle. I want to be a part of this. I need to be a part of this." Natasha purses her lips as if she's thinking about arguing with me. Then she grabs her phone and shoots off a quick text.
"I just texted Tony about the new development. I'd say the next meeting will be ASAP."