...Kit...
I greatly underestimated how boring a meeting with the Avengers would be. For the majority of them time I sit drawing invisible patterns on the dark black table top with my fingers. So far the most excitement was when I first walked in the room and Steve and Tony both protested. Natasha shrugged her shoulders and basically told them to deal with it and they argued amongst themselves for a solid ten minutes. Did anyone of them want to hear what I had to say? Nope. Didn't even ask. So I'll admit it, my mood soured a little bit and maybe now I'm pouting... A little. And ignoring just about everything they're talking about.
My ears are open enough that I haven't heard them mention Reed or anything having to do with him thus far. Sighing, I lean back in my chair and tilt my head back against the top of the backrest. My mind begins to drift as I now search out patterns in the texture of the ceiling when Bucky nudges me back to the present. With a jolt, I sit forward and lean back towards the table, folding my arms neatly on the table top as if I've been very interested in everything they've had to say.
"... I think that we should all go, honestly. I mean... Nat's right. If the serum that Banner developed really works then there's no reason to be worried-"
"Oh, come on, Rogers. She is nowhere near ready to be put in the field! She hasn't even been off the compound for weeks!" Tony shoots back at Steve. It's this retort that makes me realize that they're talking about me.
"She's sitting right here," I cut in with a scowl on my face. "And she knows how to speak for herself." All eyes turn to me but I don't shrink under the heat of their gazes. "I'd like to be a part of this. If we can be inoculated against those serums.. then what's the risk? I'm still strong physically and mentally if I take Banner's serums, right?" Silence answers me. "Perfect. Then I'd like to be a part of it from here on out. Please."
Tony doesn't say anything and instead shoots Steve a look that seems to hold a thousand words. Steve just smirks at him with one eyebrow lifted as if to say Tony's on his own with me. Maybe you should sit this one out, a small voice says in the back of my head. Maybe it's time to rest and finally know peace. I stamp the voice down and push it as far from the front of my brain as I can. I refuse to let them capture Reed without my involvement. After everything he's done to me? No way am I letting him go down without seeing it first hand. Besides, there's literally no risk for me. Well, no extra risk I guess I should say. I'll still be stronger than almost everyone there, I'll still be faster and have a higher endurance than them. The only threats posed to me are the exact same ones that the others will be in the direct path of as well. And even then, if I get shot or injured, my chance of survival is a lot higher than an unaltered person's chance.
Before that tiny voice has a chance to bring up its concerns again Tony speaks. "Fine," he says. "Fine. But I need to know that you aren't going to shut down when we come face to face with Reed. That your past with him isn't going to slow you down, or cause any kind of hesitation. If just one of us hesitates, it can be catastrophic. Understood?"
"Of course," I lift one shoulder in an attempt to show exactly how blase' I feel. When in reality I do worry that maybe it will be harder than I'm thinking.
"Okay. Perfect." One thing that has amazed me about Steve ever since we were kids was the way he can switch gears. I came into this room and saw one version of him sitting before me, and now he has shifted into Captain Mode. He's all business and grim expressions. I have to stifle a laugh as I clock his voice deepening as he becomes all Serious-Captain-America. "John Teller revealed that Reed is the head of the Hydra underground. So we need any and all information we can get from him as far as facilities they're running, people in charge, where they have their men stationed around the globe. All of it. As much as possible. We do not want him dead." He shoots me a look as he lays out the key part of this mission. 'Keep him alive.' Again I have to stifle my natural reaction to this and physically stop myself from rolling my eyes. Instead, I offer what I hope is a complacent smile. Yes sir, Captain America, sir!
"He's been staying here," Tony takes back the figurative mic and waves his hand over the top of the table. A holographic map of the city springs up from thin air and spreads out in front of all of us. A red, blinking dot signals what I can only assume is a Hydra safe house and Reed's current location. It's a large building spreading across about the same amount of land as the Avengers compound covers. Surprisingly, I've never been to this particular place. But I guess a lot can change in the years that you're absent from your mob boss ex boyfriend's life. Besides, I'm sure there's plenty I don't know about Reed. He kept it quite hush hush that he was operating Hydra right under my nose. Bile fills my throat as I think about how he kept that a secret from me all those years ago. How he could know what I went through at the hands of Hydra scientists and Dreykov and keep quiet about his deep involvement in the group. He's evil, I remind myself. He didn't ever truly care about you, how could he? He isn't capable of feeling empathy or remorse for the things he's done or the thing Hydra has done.
"What we're going to do is divide into two teams. One team will go to Reed Publishing Co and clear the building, go up to Reeds office and get into his files before he has the chance to raise any alarms and have the information erased."
"I can do that," Vision says, his words lilting a little bit with his soothing accent. "I can get into any computer as long as I have direct access to the machine." Tony nods his head.
"Okay, you'll need people to help you out. Wanda, Bucky, and Natasha can go with you. The four of you should be able to get to the top floor fairly quick without causing too much commotion. We'll do it this weekend so that there are no civilians in the building." Wanda and Natasha are nodding along, and when I look at Bucky I find him already staring at me with a concerned look on his face. Clearly he isn't happy with these arrangements. I just shrug.
"So that leaves me, Tony, Kit, Peter, Clint, and Sam to go into Reed's hide out," Steve says with finality, he glances over to where I sit and seems to be speaking directly to Bucky. "As soon as Vision is into the computer, Wanda's group can come straight to the safe house to offer any needed assistance. I don't think we'll need a very in depth strategy for getting into the building. Three go in the front door, three go in the back. One super soldier on each team." He nods at me in acknowledgment and I return it in affirmation. Easy enough.
"Do we have any idea how many people are in there?" Tony shakes his head at my question. "Perfect."
The meeting comes to an end and we are all set to leave the compound in the early hours of the morning in two days time. Until then, we're set loose to do as we please. I trail out of the room and wander around the house for a while before heading to the great room where Natasha is kicked back on the couch with her phone in her hand. I sit next to her, sliding down on the couch and resting my head on her shoulder.
"I can't believe Hydra is still around."
"If a head is cut off, two more shall take its place," Natasha recites in a deep monotone voice. I see the corners of her lips pull into a crooked smile.
"You think they'll always be around?"
"I think that someone like them will always be around. Whether it is Hydra or some other group that is formed later down the line. People will always band together over their hate and greed for power."
"Well that's cynical."
"It's realistic," she counters. "But it's fine. That's what we're here for. The good guys."
"Yeah, this life isn't for me." I laugh a little. "As soon as I get my pardons, I'm leaving this godforsaken compound and enjoying a nice, quiet life."
"A quiet life?" She can't contain her smile anymore and it spreads wide across her face, lighting up her eyes. "What do you know about a quiet life? What do any of us know about a quiet life?"
"You know, slow down... sit on a porch in the middle of nowhere and listen to the crickets and cicadas... that kind of thing." I smile back at her. It sounds so absurd after everything I've experienced in my life. "I don't really know... but I'm willing to figure it out. And I'll take as much time as I need to do so."
"I don't think you'd be able to slow down and listen to bugs chirping if your life depended on it, Kit." She briefly leans her head against mine, pressing her temple to the top of my head before she stands up and offers me a hand. "It's late, let's get some sleep. We don't have long to prepare for beating up your ex." I grin again and grab her hand allowing her to pull me to my feet.
"Lead the way, boss lady." We separate at our respective rooms and I close the door behind me softly before turning and flipping the light switch. There's only one lamp in the corner of the small room and it illuminates the area in a soft, yellow glow. When I turn around, I nearly jump out of my skin. Bucky, sitting previously in the dark, is perched on the edge of my bed. "Jesus Christ!" I exclaim, clutching my chest. "What is wrong with you?!"
"What?" The confusion on his face is almost comical. "I just wanted to talk to you."
"So you came into my bedroom and sat down in the dark like a creep?" I stride across the room and climb onto the bed near the top of the mattress and throw the comforter to the side before settling in. "What'd you want to talk about?"
"This plan... I don't like the idea of us being separated. Or the idea of you being on the team that goes directly to the safe house."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I scowl at him.
"I just feel like, given everything that's happened, maybe you should go to the publisher's office and maybe-"
"Maybe," I interrupt him. "You should just loosen the reigns a bit and realize that I'm totally capable of doing this. I'm just as strong as you or Steve and I can do this."
"I don't doubt that you can physically do this I just-"
"Then it's settled. No reason for further discussion. Goodnight." I settle down under the covers and feel my feet touch him as I stretch out across the bed. He shuffles a little bit to give me more space and I scoot down enough to kick him again.
"Katherine," oooh. He's using my full name. He grabs my foot and pulls on it trying to get me to look at him. I don't, instead I pull the covers up snuggly around my face. "As someone that has been dealing with PTSD for the majority of my life, I just want to make sure you're okay."
His voice is soft and there's still that edge of concern to it and I feel the fight go out of me, I emerge from my bundled up blanket and look him in the eye. "I'm fine, Bucky. I promise. Am I worried about it? Of course I am. Who wouldn't be? But this is something I need to do. I need to be in the room when he's brought to his knees. Surely you can understand that?" I see his eyes go glassy as if he's far away and remembering something from a different time. After a moment, his eyes clear and he nods infinitesimally.
"Okay, fine. But we'll be connected through our ear comms the whole day, so if you need anything..." He trails off and in a moment of impulse, I sit forward and grab his hand and pull him towards the top of the bed. Towards me. He's surprised at the motion, but doesn't resist and comes to a resting position beside me, his left arm draped across my abdomen and propping himself up on his right elbow. "Anything," he repeats.
"Of course. If I need anything, I'll page you." I grin at him and he responds with an exaggerated eye roll. "Yes, James. Should I need anything at all, I will let you know. But I promise I am 100% in this. I've got it."
"I trust you," he says and punctuates his words with a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. "I'll see you in the morning, Kit." He rolls away from me and moves to slide off the bed on the opposite side but I scoot after him and wrap my arms around his chest, keeping him in place.
"Will you stay with me?" I ask, my voice muffled as I press my face against the center point between his shoulder blades. "No ulterior motives, just... stay?" I feel his muscles relax under my touch and he lays back against the pillows.
"No ulterior motives?" He asks, and I don't need to see his face to know that he has that dumb smirk across his face. I squeeze him tightly and ignore the question. "Fine. But I get to be the little spoon. And don't you dare tell anyone out there about that fact."