Chapter Eleven
John's eyes widened, remembering the horrific attack his son had suffered when they were at the Milligan home.
"Sam wasn't attacked at school was he?"
Dean pursed his lips. "He was, actually. But you're right if you're thinking that his breakdown the other night had nothing to do with it." His gaze darkened. "Sammy had a psychotic break when Cas broke the wall, he's been hallucinating about Lucifer ever since."
"His grace should've healed that." Gabriel cut in and the eldest brother frowned.
"Whose Grace?"
"Sam's. His soul is almost eighty-five percent Grace."
*/*
"It won't. His grace is the cause so it won't heal it."
Everyone turned to Sam, who looked unsurprised at Gabriel's assessment. He wasn't the only one, Adam wore a pale but otherwise unaffected expression.
"You knew his grace was there?" Dean whispered and Sam gave him a depreciating smile.
"By the time Death reached us in the cage, Lucifer had destroyed most of my soul and replaced it with his grace." His gaze was unfocused even as their eyes remained locked. "The only reason I still have any of my soul left is because he found my "attempts" to protect Adam intriguing."
"You never told me…"
"I didn't."
The elder Winchester frowned at him, moss green eyes flashing. "Why?" He growled, but the other hummed softly.
It was Adam that responded. "Lucifer, he told us that if you knew...you would kill us. Kill Sam, and that Castiel would help you. Death locked most of it away when he pulled us out, but it's been there. I felt it the second you guys pulled up to my mom's house."
Gabriel cut in, scowling. "Lucifer's grace is what's causing your mental illness?"
Sam nodded, resting his head on Adam's hair. "It connects us, which allows him to continue the torture even if he can't do so physically. It allows him to alter the way I perceive the world around me, although it is limited by the cage. The rest, my mind fills in."
Dean's lips curled dangerously. "Yet another thing you didn't tell me. I thought we agreed no more secrets, Sammy. Especially secrets that affect your health!"
The younger man stared at him. "I...don't remember…" He responded softly. "My memories are still messed up after Cas-" He cut himself off, seeing the way his lover's lips tightened at his words.
John frowned at the younger Winchester. "Even without remembering that, you should've at least told your brother about it anyways."
His middle child shrugged. "It been with me far longer than I've known anyone in this room. It just became easier to forget it was there."
Adam nodded in agreement. "Yeah, after the first millenia or so, you kinda just get used to it."
Dean's eyes widened. "M-millenia?" His voice broke.
Gabriel sighed. "Time runs faster in Lucifer's Cage, Deano. And with two archangels inside it, it can run at any length they wish it to." He turned to Sam and Adam. "How long was it for you?"
Sam shrugged, his gaze unfocused as he started to hum that haunting melody once more. Adam looked away. "They liked to play with time there. After the first 4,500 years we just stopped counting. Topside it was a year and a half."
Dean swallowed thickly and John gave a heavy sigh. "We need to get to Jim's. Once there we can plan our next move. I'm assuming both sides are trying to rush this apocalypse thing now?"
Gabriel nodded.
Dean nodded as well. "That means we waste Azazel first. The angels are gonna be waiting for the showdown of his special children before they do anything and the demons are still waiting for Sam to become their new general." He glanced at the archangel. "You staying?"
Gabriel thought about it.
He took in the way the youngest Winchester was watching him full of fear and defiance. The way the two eldest were observing him as if they already expected him to throw them to the dogs. Worse, he took in the result of his brothers' vengeance in the haze that covered the intelligent eyes of the tallest Winchester. The grace-filled scars on his otherwise pure if damaged soul and he felt resolve fill him.
This couldn't be allowed to happen again. For all that humans were flawed he had yet to meet one of his father's creations that weren't, angels included. They didn't deserve to have their very essence ripped from them and shredded by two angels having what truly equated to a cosmic temper tantrum.
They didn't deserve to be so broken reality was nearly completely lost to them.
Steeling his spine, he gave the two elder Winchesters a smirk. "Sign me up, boys."
*/*
He'd been expecting this.
Staring at the luminescent form of his former captor, Sam felt everything in him both scream in fear and relax at the familiarity of where he was.
This.
This is what he knew, what he had known for the past fifteen millenia.
Or was it sixteen now?
Twenty?
It felt like an eternity.
He felt Adam's fragile soul curling tighter against his own and he smiled, wrapping it in his own essence so completely that neither archangel would be able to get to it without further tearing him apart.
He should know.
They'd done it before.
Multiple times.
"Sam," Lucifer called and he started, looking up as he realized his thoughts had drifted once more.
"Lucifer," He greeted softly and the devil smiled at him, a burning cold hand cupping his cheek.
"It's true," The fallen archangel whispered, staring at him in awe. "You are mine. I can feel my grace inside you, wound into your very soul. So damaged and bright. So beautiful and mine."
He scowled. "I am not yours. I am Dean's." He hissed the enochian slipping past his lips as if he'd never stopped speaking it.
Lucifer chuckled, but his gaze was burning. "Sing with me."
Sam stared at him, then shuddered closing his eyes as that beautifully dark voice slid over him.
Angels fall
Always at night
Fallen stars
On the battleground
Tell me, Master
Where have I gone wrong?
Unbidden, he joined him, eyes burning as the words hit home.
Demons rise
In the light of day
Like that perfect smile
On your face
I scream and cry
Tell me where I went wrong
He curled tighter around Adam, feeling his grace reach for the Archangel that would one day destroy him.
I fought when asked
Killed and crashed
It's not enough
But somehow I was wrong
I fell and rose
Cried and prayed
Still I'm trapped
By your grace.
Tell me, please
Where have I gone wrong?
Oh, tell~ me
Where have I gone wrong?
Their grace met in a wave of warmth, and he felt his consciousness slowly returning topside. Still Lucifer's voice rang in his ears.
"Where, Sam? Where?"
Worse, when he opened his eyes...he still had no answer.
He curled closer to Dean, letting the older male's warmth chase away the cold of the Cage, and wondered why he'd been forsaken and allowed to rot for so long.
Allowed to be completely shattered.
And why, looking at Dean, he was being forced to face it all other again.
He had no answer.
And the silence of the night didn't seem eager to share.
So he closed his eyes and hummed along to the song only he and Lucifer knew.
"Angels fall…"
*/*
Gabriel watched him and felt his vessel's heart clench.
Sam Winchester was far from alright, all of the Winchesters were.
However, he wasn't one of the original guardian angels for nothing. He would make things better for them all if it was the last thing he did.
They deserved it, after all.
TBC...