September 24, 2017
The sound of Judith's enthusiastic singing lures Shane inside the cabin like few other things will. It's not English, but that's not surprising considering the multilingual nature of all Homestead children. What is interesting is it isn't either of the other two languages Judith is fluent in.
Tilting his head, he knows enough of the words to puzzle it out as he leans against the door after closing it behind him and setting down the bag he's carrying. Judith is gesturing as she sings, not quite dancing, but close. Both boys are watching with absolute fascination, Griffin from a play mat on his tummy and Cameron from his spot in Scout's lap. Anaya sprawls on the rug next to Griffin, grinning.
But the best part of the entire scene is Scout isn't just giving the cautious half smile he's been seeing since they returned home to Georgia.
She's laughing.
Whoever taught Judith the song has his gratitude. Based on the French, he's guessing either Rick or Daryl, maybe both.
Judith's song comes to an end and she bows with a flourish. When Shane joins the applause, it draws their attention. Crossing the room, he ends up with an armful of one daughter and a wiggling son after he scoops Griffin up on off his mat to keep him from bopping his head on the floor in excitement.
"Y'all are having a concert without Tåtå?" Pouting gains him a kiss from Judith and a smile and rolled eyes from Anaya as she plunks onto the couch next to Scout.
"Tåtå, you missed supper. We had to let Nåna cook!" Judith giggles.
"I haven't burned anything in at least two weeks," Scout protests, smiling.
The years of joking about her inability to cook make it habit, but one of the things Denise set for therapy was baking. Strict adherence to rules is inherent to baking, so Scout's spent hours in practice with Carol and Lori. However, that skill doesn't always translate to cooking.
"How did tonight turn out?"
"I made grilled cheese and we had tomato soup Carol sent down," Scout says. "Did they at least feed you down at the farm?"
"What do you think took so long? Patricia sent some of her lemon blueberry poundcake if y'all haven't had dessert yet."
When both girls look at Scout, Shane knows that yes, they did have dessert, but he also knows she's going to spoil them. "Share a slice and save the rest for later."
Judith follows Anaya to retrieve the bag Shane left by the door, which contains the usual wealth of extra food Patricia shares with any visitor. Shane settles on the couch next to Scout, feeling content when she snuggles close. The boys reach for each other like always do, shrieking excitedly as if they were miles apart instead of four feet. Neither can sit up properly yet, so their efforts end with Cameron sprawled atop Griffin, babbling happily.
Keeping a restraining hand hooked in the back of Cameron's onesie, Scout giggles, and the sound is as good as the full laugh earlier to Shane. "Do you think they'll always be this excited about each other?"
Twins can be different than brothers separated by a few years, but based on the ones Shane sees around Homestead, not as much as people think. "I suspect they'll brawl a bit now and then like most siblings, but anyone else who tries it will meet with an unbreakable partnership."
"And the girls will keep them safe."
"Yeah, they will."
Anaya came when Shane asked, putting her apprenticeship at Tybee on indefinite hold when she realized just how fragile her normally stoic and strong mother was. She wanted to change her apprenticeship entirely, to train full-time as security instead of the general training all youth receive. Even though Logan was being escorted, not military, it made the leadership of all the Allies reconsider their most dangerous occupation.
Shane is the first to admit he supported pushing any active militia service back, recalling the enlistment boosts every time a disaster happened in the old world. They're stable, even now, and they don't need to risk their youngest. No one wants to live in fear, but it'll take a while before everyone stops looking outward and wondering if there are other Negans out there.
Rescuing Griffin when closeness to his twin becomes squishing rather than fun, Shane presses a kiss to his unruly curls before grimacing. "Someone needs changing."
His wife, the wretch, snatches Cameron into her arms and fakes a sudden nap. Cameron isn't old enough to play along, but with Scout's braid in reach, he's content to slobber-gnaw on it and ignore Shane entirely.
"I see how it is. Let's go get you unstinky, little man."
The diaper change converts to a bath thanks to diaper malfunction, but Shane doesn't mind. Griffin adores baths so much Shane can't wait to take him to Tybee when he's old enough. Having both felt almost overwhelming when they were born, but being away from them for a month when they were so tiny makes every moment like this even more enjoyable. The extra care twins require assisted in Scout's recovery, too.
Griffin manages to get his wet and wiggly foot to his mouth, his new favorite skill, even as Shane balances one hand across his belly while he reaches for the wash cloth. "Is that tasty, buddy?"
The ba-ba-ba reply is adorable. It won't be long before it's coherent, Shane thinks. Griffin is the more chatty of the twins, so he'll probably be the first to manage a recognizable word. If Judith has her way, it'll be her name, but the jay sound is never an easy one for babies, so Shane wishes her luck.
"Smart time to nibble, when it's fresh and clean. One day you'll start wearing shoes, and then toes won't be so fun anymore."
Judith giggles from behind him, venturing into the bathroom with Cameron perched in the small folding stroller she uses since she's not allowed to physically carry either brother. "Nåna is really tired because the boys didn't nap today. They got really excited by being down at Auntie Cricket's to see the new baby. Can I help you wash them?"
"I'll bet they did." Although Shane doubts it was three-day-old Benjamin who got the boys worked up, With both Judith and Meredith at hand to play 'mommy' or 'teacher' or whatever game they wanted today, the twins and Meredith's toddler sister, Shannon, were probably roped into play.
It's lucky that Judith attributes almost any tiredness on Scout's part to the babies. Explaining the careful combination of medications Denise and Scout experimented with to find something, anything, that helps with the PTSD Scout will never be rid of is a tricky process. The current combination works better than anything else with the fewest side effects, which makes him grateful they scavenged more medication than they'll ever need.
"You can help, but one at a time in the bath, remember?" Although Shane's kneeling in front of the bathtub, he still has Griffin in the small plastic tub that keeps him half sitting in the water. Neither twin has the balance to sit upright in the little ring seat yet.
"Cameron has his sheepie. He'll be patient," Judith declares solemnly, leaving Cameron parked in the stroller at the door. A glance over his shoulder confirms Cameron is idly gumming the colorful plastic teether toy, so Shane returns his attention to his task.
"Where's Anaya?" Shane asks as he massages a tiny dot of homemade baby wash to Griffin's hair to rid it of the drool Cameron deposited earlier.
"She went to meet her friends at the community center. Mama is helping them all make popcorn balls tonight for the movie."
"And you didn't want to go, too?" Movie nights are Judith's favorite events normally, even if she's seen the movie multiple times. She's a social butterfly even more than Shane ever was, and Judith is generally happy to watch them with her younger sisters.
Shaking her head, Judith uses a small cup to gently pour water across Griffin's stomach, smiling with he giggles at the sensation. "I wanted to play with the boys, and Mama said I could stay here tonight."
There's a petulant note to the statement that makes Shane curious. "Is that all?"
Plopping on her bottom in the space between the toilet and bathtub, Judith sighs deeply. "We have too many girls at Mama's house."
Ah. He supposes it makes sense. Daryl and Lori are expecting their third daughter together, and while Judith is an excellent big sister to Sarah and Talia, he can understand why she might feel like one of many. Abby's still in Virginia, so Judith doesn't get the bonus of a doting older sister in house over there. Carl is temporarily at Homestead, staying a few weeks or so after baby Charles' birth last month since Kings Cross doesn't have its own midwife. But having a newborn means he doesn't have time to hang out with his sister.
Shane can't do a lot right now, but the twins will be asleep soon. "Wanna play a game when the boys go to bed? Me, you, and Nåna?"
It's the right suggestion, because Judith grins, flashing her missing front teeth. "Can we play Mouse Trap?"
"Of course." Passing Griffin off to Judith to cuddle in a towel, he swaps Cameron into the bathtub and makes faster work of it because Cameron is dozing off in the water.
Getting the boys dressed in diapers and pajamas doesn't take long, and they do it quietly after Shane realizes Judith was serious about Scout being tired. The fake nap is a serious one now, and Shane holds up a finger to caution Judith to silence while he eases the board game she wanted out of the stack on the shelf. Hopefully, the stealth will make up for a game with just the two of them as they sneak out to the porch.
Eventually, Scout wakes and joins them, blinking sleepily through their second game and joining the third. Once Judith heads off for a bath, Scout helps him pack away the game. She doesn't apologize for the impromptu nap, which he is glad to see. One thing about how far she crashed was she's better about self care now, not trying to be the spartan Marine first and herself second.
When he turns to head inside, game box in hand, he pauses when her hand settles between his shoulder blades. Her touch is gentle, trailing up to the bare skin of his neck to thread her fingers gently into his hair. He can't help the full body shudder at the sensation of the light massage.
"The boys are sleeping through the night now, you know."
It's early for babies to pick up the skill, but a six or seven hour stretch is regular for the boys now, and they've only been down for two hours now. Although reluctant to give up the touch, Shane turns, needing to see Scout to verify her intent. The touch and tone both take him back years, to sitting on top of an RV while her fingers explored just as gently. Tonight, he sees the same invitation clearly on her face, and dear god, he wants. Turning causes her to drag her fingers along his jaw, and she studies him through half-lidded eyes as her thumb presses gently against his pulse.
Setting the box on the small porch table, he cups her face and draws her in for a kiss that isn't the sweet and chaste ones they've been sharing since they came home. Between caring for the boys and Scout piecing her psyche back together bit by jagged bit, neither of them managed any libido. He didn't mind, not like he might have when he was younger, but the moment she presses his back to the cabin door with intent, it's like all the missed urge hits him at once.
He groans as she ends the kiss and nips lightly on his bottom lip. Slipping a hand under the edge of his shirt, she runs her fingers lightly along the skin just above his waistband.
"Gotta get Judith settled, yeah?" he manages.
"Of course. It's my turn to read to her." Scout smiles slyly before snagging the game box and nudging around him. "I hear Anaya. Best not embarrass her by making out like teenagers on the porch."
"It's our anniversary and your birthday. I think we're allowed the PDA," Shane calls after her, but he doesn't mind, not really. Later is good enough.
"Oh my god, I forgot!"
Shane turns to see Anaya looking horrified. She's just past Daryl and Lori's steps, halting where she's been walking back with Lori, Daryl, and the girls. Lori looks equally alarmed, but Daryl just chuckles.
"Don't think your Nåna much cares, Anaya," Daryl tells her. "She doesn't really celebrate her birthday, remember?"
The big Dixon celebrations of everything always respect that Scout doesn't care to be the center of attention. Their wedding was the last time she allowed so much focus on her. It makes life easier in some ways for him, because all she ever wants today is a happy day like she's had. Time with her kids, time with him, and no one expecting anything of her but to enjoy herself. Small gifts, like Carol's tomato soup and Patricia's pound cake, those are perfect.
Granted, Tara joked she tried to convince Scout's newest nephew that a few extra days would let him share the day with Scout and she'd have the present no one could top. Shane suspects Scout's glad the baby got his own day.
"You already spent the whole day with her, right?" Shane asks and Anaya nods. "That's exactly what she wanted."
Anaya eyes him and Daryl worriedly, but heads inside. Before Shane can follow, Daryl calls out. "How is she?"
Pausing, Shane smiles, thinking not just of the sly seduction, but the day as a whole, from before he left to help Morgan with some fencing to the evening spent with his family. "I think she's back."
Daryl looks thoughtful, drawing Lori close even as their girls dance impatiently on their porch. "Told you, Lori. She just needed time to sort everything out."
The confidence in his voice is another layer to the happy feeling Shane is sustaining. He's never seen Scout rebuild herself like this, and at times, he was terrified she might not find her way back to who she was. But Daryl? He's seen her do it twice before. More than anyone else, Daryl knows how Scout's mind functions. Lori trusts Daryl's assessment, too, because she nods, running a hand across her baby bump.
"Tell her I would like some help down at the dairy tomorrow, if she's feeling up to letting the boys go to the daycare a bit."
Shane agrees and they head inside the same as he does, with the girls getting excited by the idea the twins might go to their daycare tomorrow. He hopes Scout does feel up to it, because while she can never put aside her weapons entirely, not in their world, everyone is in agreement there is no military crisis worth risking Scout in again. Scout is officially retired, and eventually, the boys will be independent enough she does need to line something new up. Maybe she won't retire to be a school teacher like Rick, but she'll find something, he knows.
If Anaya tucks herself in with Judith to listen to tonight's story out of a bit of angst and guilt, Scout enjoys it nevertheless. Shane slips in as Scout leaves, pressing a kiss to both girls' foreheads and mouthing a thank you at Anaya over Judith's drowsy head. She frowns for a moment, glancing toward the door, before he motions toward Judith. Her kindness is a gift to more than one family member tonight.
Bidding them goodnight, Shane heads for his own bedroom, not surprised to find Scout knitting. It's another soothing skill she's picked up, although he thinks much like baking, the initial interest was that it's something Carol does. In making her new rules, Scout definitely sought out the figure missing most from her childhood: a mother. Even the time she spends with Lori makes sense, because they've managed a sisterly bond with Lori the elder for so many years now he understands Scout wanting to study what makes Lori's life work as well.
What's new is she's knitting in the nude.
When he clears his throat roughly, closing the door carefully behind him, she looks up and smiles slowly, setting aside the knitting. The other door, to the alcove nursery the boys' crib nestles in, is already shut, with the monitor on their dresser showing a black and white image of soundly sleeping babies. Slowly, he strips away each piece of his own clothing, reveling in how alert she is on his every move.
He doesn't rush, though, settling onto the bed beside her and running a hand across the scarred pattern that is as uniquely part of her to him as her dark hair or blue eyes. "I've missed you," he says softly.
She needed the time, and he'll never begrudge her that.
"I'm sorry I got lost." Scout reaches out, her own hand exploring the contours of his shoulder, chest, abs, and hip. "You kept your promise to lead me back."
"Always," he says huskily. "Always."
When it gets him rolled on his back while she reacquaints herself with every inch of his skin, he just revels in the pleased adoration he can see in her eyes every time she glances up.
All her life, Scout feared nothing more than becoming the same as the monster she once vanquished. Will Dixon became her demon in a way he never did for either of his sons. To have her beloved younger brother look at her in fear? It was her greatest fear come to life, unravelling her in a way nothing else had. But she's a survivor, and the glue that's held her together all these years is still the same.
As long as Scout is still capable of love, she can't ever be truly broken.