Chapter 11: G-O-O-D-B-Y-E
… there are, or were, however, several prevailing theories about where souls are located when divested of a body. Most are only speculation, but perhaps the most plausible one is that Lilith, the counterpart to Adam, acts as a storage unit for souls, until such souls are either able to manifest AT Fields again or, as per the Human Instrumentality Project, utilized to create the Instrumentality.
Such is the nature of the soul. With such information in mind, the true purpose of this report can now be presented.
- Confidential Report on the Theory and Application of Long-term AT-Field Manipulation, Section 1: "A Reiteration of the Known Mechanics of Souls and the AT Field"
Within Lilith, Terminal Dogma
Rei stepped back from the slowly approaching mass of Frames, creeping towards her through the water like the tentacles of some eldritch sea beast. "I do not wish to join you." Rei said levelly, fighting to keep concern out of her voice.
"Eldest…" Suriel rasped. "Please…"
The Frames continued to advance, writhing and snapping at her. Rei dodged as best she could until one of the Frames brushed her arm.
The alarm clock rang, and Rei opened her eyes slowly as she looked over at it. 8 o'clock. An early start.
She stretched, yawning cavernously as she sat up in bed, scratching the back of her head.
"Well, good morning, love."
Rei looked beside her as Kaworu sat up and stretched as well, the ring on his finger glinting in the light the crack in the blinds allowed through. He ran a hand through black hair, then rubbed at his eyes and turned on a lamp, its light casting his face into a shadow his black eyes gleamed in.
"So," Kaworu said as he got out of bed, "excited for the recital tonight?"
"Of course." Rei replied, itching at her arm as she too got out of bed, picking out some appropriate clothing for the practice that they would be doing.
She went into the bathroom to wash up, running a hand through her brown hair and rubbing one last time at her brown eyes as she prepared for the day.
"Well, well, Wondergirl. How was sleeping? Or was there?"
Rei glanced through the mirror at the door, smiling at Asuka. "There was plenty of sleep, thank you very much." she said with a smile.
Her college roommate sniffed even as she smiled. "Says you, miss private life. Well, when you get done, the rest of us will be waiting out in the living room."
She turned and left, allowing Rei to finish getting prepped. She walked from the bathroom to the closet. There, she took down the case for her viola, opening it and taking in her well-worn instrument before closing it and taking it.
The living room was a small, comfortable thing, taken up usually by a couch and coffee table. Those were pushed aside, the room made for four chairs with music stands in front of them. Three of them were already occupied by Kaworu, Asuka, and Shinji, their instruments ready and waiting.
Shinji smiled. "Alright, now that everyone's here, let's go over the piece."
As they talked quietly, Rei felt the itch on her arm again, like her skin was reacting to something. But really, it didn't matter. As they put bows to strings and began to play, Rei reveled in the music they made. It was… perfect.
Too perfect.
. . .
Infinity Box, Theisman Residence
"What is the backup plan?" Kaworu asked quietly. No such thing came immediately to mind in his memories from Kadmonel.
"We understood there was a great risk in sending the Eggs, both White and Black, into the void. I, especially, worried for the safety of our work, that the Soul Arts would be lost from existence with an accident." Kadmonel replied.
"Then, one of my assistants, a fairly odd, but intelligent sort, proposed a radical idea." Kadmonel continued. "He posited that should our understanding of the Soul Arts be combined with the possibility of the multiverse existing, that such potential problems could be foreseen and forestalled, by etching a scripture onto the soul of a willing participant."
"He was dismissed out of hand by the others." Kadmonel said, and Kaworu could almost see him shake his head slowly. "But these were desperate times. He turned to me, and I decided to accept his proposal."
"It was a harried, terrified rush, those few weeks of research and development of the necessary scripture. But in the end, his dedication and my knowledge proved to be fruitful. It could be done. But only once. Time had run out, and the process of creating the Vessels and their Eggs was almost finished. So, my assistant offered himself up to be the testbed for the scripture."
It was silent for a moment. Then, Kadmonel sighed quietly. "That was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. Then, our souls boarded the Vessels, which in turn were entombed in the Eggs. And… it seems my assistant's scripture works."
Kadmonel chuckled. "Would that he were whole to hear that. He would be… ecstatic."
"I see." Kaworu said after a moment. "And a part of his soul makes up my own."
"Yes." Kadmonel said quietly. "And beyond that, I am unsure if that soul shall ever fully exist again. You, along with young Miss Ayanami, are oddities. Particular cases. Ones which I have no idea how it works."
"I see." Kaworu replied. "I am sorry you may not get to see your assistant again."
It was silent again between them for a moment, Kaworu taking in the quiet grief that Kadmonel felt at the fact. "What was his name?" Kaworu asked quietly.
"Karathen." Kadmonel said simply. "It was Karathen."
"Thank you." Kaworu said quietly. "I will remember that."
It was silent again between them for a moment. "So," Kaworu said, "even with such an explanation, there are still questions I have. I have seen flashes of other lives, but there is one which I have begun to view more clearly than the others. Why?"
"An excellent question." Kadmonel replied frankly. "Karathen was the one who decided upon the final form of the scripture. I simply gave him direction and etched it on his soul. Its powers were generally known to me, but it seems the scripture has grown beyond what I have perceived. Fascinating."
Unbidden, an image of a stern-faced man with pointed ears came to Kaworu's mind, an artifact of a rather schlocky (such was the term Asuka used) science fiction television show. It took some effort not to have it cross the link.
"So, Kaworu," Kadmonel began, "as you have come to know both sides of Suriel and I's story, you may recognize that I was a… bachelor, shall we put it."
"So…" Kadmonel continued, trailing off. "What is it like? Being with Miss Ayanami?"
Kaworu couldn't help but smile at the wonder in Kadmonel's voice. "It is… beautiful. She is beautiful."
. . .
Quelaan's Apartment
Kensuke listened attentively to Quelaan as she gestured to his and Ichigo's Grips. "What you have captured is what is known as a Seed Spirit. It is…" she tilted her head slightly. "A nascent Spirit, one might say. Able to be very easily influenced by your direction as it grows under your stewardship."
"Really?" Kensuke said, looking at his Grip with his sight. The Spirit was a tiny thing, a mote of red light that pulsed every so often. "So this is just a baby Spirit. They don't just kind of… pop into existence?"
"As with all things that concern Spirits and being an Animist, it depends." Quelaan replied. "There are many different Spirits, especially those connected to strong emotions and events, that do simply step into existence. But most start their 'life' in the Conceptual Realm as Seeds."
Quelaan smiled. "You have an interesting journey ahead of you both, and I will remind you that raising a Seed Spirit is no easy task. There is no shame in coming to me throughout your time raising the Seed with questions, however trivial. Do you have any now?"
"Uh…" Kensuke replied. "How do we feed these things?"
"A wise question." Quelaan said. "They will only require Metos for now. Depending on how the Spirit develops, other means of sustenance, rarely physical in nature, may become needed."
"Oh." Kensuke said, nodding. "Makes sense."
"And will we be able to know what kind of Spirits these will grow into?" Ichigo asked.
"There will be indications in the coming weeks." Quelaan replied. "For now, be patient. Establish a connection with your Spirit. Respect is a vital part of the bonds you will make. I, like many, err on the side of trust and positively bonding with the Spirits one comes across. Others," she said as her smile dimmed, "are less scrupulous."
Kensuke and Ichigo nodded slowly, a serious look on their faces.
Quelaan chuckled. "Of course, I would be hard-pressed to think that you two, of all people, would stoop that low, as to domineer over the Spirits under your care."
The two children chuckled, one more nervously than the other.
"Now," Quelaan said, "Let us begin to discuss what different kinds of Spirits, broadly speaking, you might expect from your Seeds."
. . .
The itch in Rei's arm became a burn, and she blinked as she looked around, a mirror in the entryway showing her that her eyes had become red again, her skin pale, her hair bright blue.
'I am in an illusion.' she realized. 'One where I'm happy. Where I'm… normal.'
She stopped playing, the others carrying on without her as she activated her Sight. On her arm, she saw a tether of Frames, felt a pull towards… something.
'No. No. I can be happy without this illusion.' Rei thought, setting the viola down and wrapping her free hand in her own Frames. She grabbed at the Frames that bound her arm and pulled.
The world around her shattered after a moment, and she found herself back in the blue depths of the sea, standing before Suriel as the Frames reeled back, then started to advance on her again. "Suriel, I simply wish to speak with you." Rei said firmly.
Suriel's brow furrowed as if she finally registered the use of her name. "Suriel…" she said again, and her voice sounded… sad. The Frames stopped moving towards her.
Then, the slightest movement of her head. "No. There cannot be Suriel."
Rei blinked. "Why can there not be Suriel?" she said slowly.
"There can only be the Black Egg, and the Vessel. There can only be survival."
"Survival." Rei repeated. "I remember. I understand. But circumstances have changed. You know this, on some level. You reacted to the bodily death of Kadmonel. To the knowledge that Kaworu and I had safely achieved the Forbidden Union."
Finally, Suriel looked at Rei. The look in her eyes was inscrutable. "Kadmonel… Kadmonel…" Suriel said quietly.
Rei nodded. "Yes. But we have his soul. It is safe."
The shimmering light above the water caught Suriel's face as a tear welled up in one eye. "Safe…" she whispered.
The Frames began to recede, and Rei nodded again. "Yes. Safe."
She looked up at the canopy of Frames, then filled their path back to the pillar Suriel was encased in. "You hold the weight of all their illusions on yourself." she said with a dawning realization. "You power the dreams that Instrumentality gives to those who enter here."
"I must." Suriel said, a hint of insistence in her voice. "My children…"
It was silent for a moment, save the muffled lapping of the surface waters far above.
"Can they not continue should you release yourself from this duty?" Rei asked softly.
"No." Suriel replied, her voice heavy and quiet. "I must endure."
"Is there any way in which Interfacing could, perhaps, free you from this duty?" Rei asked quietly.
"Free…" Suriel replied. She was silent for a moment as she seemed to ponder the concept.
"Perhaps." she finally said.
Rei waited for a moment longer for Suriel to elaborate. When no answer was forthcoming, Rei nodded. "Very well. I can't promise that whatever we try will be quick, but I can promise that we will try."
Rei waited for a moment as Suriel slowly dipped her head.
. . .
Kaworu continued to smile as he described his relationship to one who had never really had one before. The wonder and joy, the anxieties and fears, all of it was… miraculous to him. To both of them.
As he paused for a moment, Kadmonel sighed. "It's been a… well, a long, long time since I've had a body that is anything like yours. Not since before we left our world. But…"
"You would be interested in perhaps taking up a physical body again." Kaworu finished.
"Yes." Kadmonel admitted. "But there is still the matter of the last child. A matter which I believe you are acutely aware of."
"Camael." Kaworu said quietly.
"Is that what you all call him?" Kadmonel said with no small amount of bemusement. "I didn't know pieces of our language would survive the trip. I'll have to look into that more."
"Indeed." Kaworu replied. "There are a few prevailing theories amongst Doctor Akagi and Captain Ibuki if such might be the case and why."
"I'll have to hear them at some point. They'll likely be interested in speaking to me at some point soon."
"That they will." Kaworu replied. It was silent for a moment. "Well, father… thank you. I know that you've answered my questions as best you could. And I appreciate that."
"As I appreciate being able to speak to, in a sense, one of my friends again. Thank you." Kadmonel replied.
"Farewell. I hope to speak with you again soon." Kaworu said quietly.
And with that, he severed the connection between him and Kadmonel, opening his eyes as he sighed quietly.
He stood from his chair as it disappeared into the floor, turning to see Eleanor standing alone, looking at him with a grave expression. His eyebrow arched. "Has Daniel gone to attend to other matters?"
"Yes." Eleanor said. "Rei turned into LCL 45 minutes ago. She still hasn't returned. We'll be joining Daniel now that you're done."
A quiet fear came to life, nestling in Kaworu's chest. 'Suriel… don't take her.'
. . .
Quelaan's Apartment
"There are two different types of Spirits most Animists will encounter on their paths." Quelaan said quietly, a tiny pilot-light flame snapping to life in both her upturned palms. "The first of them is Motive Spirits."
The flame in her right hand flared up, trails of fire following an unseen path as they coalesced into a roughly humanoid form.
"These Spirits, while certainly not confined to a human form, are capable of independent movement, whether they walk or fly or swim. You've likely heard of at least one form of these Spirits." Quelaan continued, her voice hardening slightly as she said the last sentence.
"Revenants." Ichigo whispered, and Kensuke suppressed a shudder at the mention of them.
"Yes." Quelaan said softly, her expression one of concern. "Terrible creatures. Few have the skill or the willpower to try at taming them. Fewer still succeed. Whomever this Aaminata that I've heard that Daniel and your friends faced is, she is quite powerful. I would that you be careful should either of you meet her."
"However," Quelaan said after a moment of silence, "that is not important as of this moment. The other type of Spirit you will encounter is Static Spirits."
The flames in her left hand came to life, outlining a sword. "These Spirits often inhabit objects or can make the objects themselves. Regardless, they must be wielded for their powers to come to the fore."
"So, like, talking swords, magic amulets, and all that?" Kensuke asked.
"Yes," Quelaan said with a smile, "those and far far more. Every object you can think of and more than a few that you can't can either be recreated or enhanced in some form or fashion by Static Spirits. Their need for their Animists to channel their power through them makes them usually more docile and subservient than Motive Spirits, but there are always exceptions."
Kensuke nodded. "Oh… I get it." he said, smiling slightly as the possibilities whirled through his mind.
"There are, of course, many different sub-categories under those two broad terms, but for now, all you need to really worry about is the Seeds that you now possess." Quelaan said with a slight smile of her own.
Quelaan stood as the two diagrams floating over her hands winked out, making the room dim again. "For now, our lesson is over. Go home and rest, and I will see you in the coming weeks."
Kensuke and Ichigo both stood, and Ichigo looked over at Kensuke. "Then I shall see you then unless we meet again sooner."
Kensuke nodded after a moment, somewhat grateful that the dimness hid his blush. "Uh, yeah. I'll see you then, Ichigo."
Ichigo smiled slightly, then turned and walked out of the living room.
Before Kensuke could follow, Quelaan spoke softly. "Kensuke." it was a simple word, but it stuck him to the spot as he slowly turned to regard his new teacher. Had she grown… taller, somehow?
But then, she smiled, a warm smile that reminded him of a campfire at night during one of his campouts, and the apprehension he felt diminished.
"You fancy her, I see." Quelaan said, her voice equally warm as her smile.
Kensuke blinked for a moment as he processed what Quelaan said, then his blush deepened. "Well, no… at least, not like that, I mean. I mean…" he trailed off after a moment, then sighed.
"Perhaps I was somewhat presumptuous." Quelaan said. "But it is clear that you like her."
"Well… yeah." Kensuke admitted. But did he like her like that? The closest he had gotten with someone, anyone really, was with Sayaka and Kyoko. It had been all too brief, but he had cared for them, enough to provide a cover for their relationship with each other from their rather strict parents. Just as, in time, they had come to care for him too. And now… they were gone. Could he do that again?
"But… I already tried doing that whole relationship thing once, ma'am. It… didn't exactly pan out." Kensuke said quietly.
Quelaan nodded. "I see." she sighed quietly. "I… may not be the best source to find inspiration when it comes to matters of the heart. I have remained a maiden, and never given my heart so fully to another. But… she thinks highly of you. She values the time that you spend with her. From what I've heard her tell me about you, and from watching you two as we undertook this lesson."
She sat back down, and Kensuke followed her lead. "But what I can do," Quelaan said, "is share some wisdom. Any relationship, as my mother would say, is like a spark that lights a flame."
"She does seem to enjoy the whole fire thing, doesn't she?" Kensuke said idly.
Quelaan chuckled softly. "Well, when one of your names is 'The Mother of Fire', I could see how one could say that."
She continued after a moment. "But, as my mother was fond of saying anyways, a relationship is like a spark. Full of possibility. It could flicker out, which I do not see happening here, or it could spread. How far it spreads depends on how much fuel the flame has."
Kensuke nodded. "Alright." he said slowly. "So…"
"I would personally say feed the flames." Quelaan replied. "Explore your relationship with Ichigo. Who knows," she said as she smiled again, "it might lead somewhere exciting. For such is the nature of flame."
Kensuke nodded again, more sure of himself this time. "Alright. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, sensei."
"You're welcome, Kensuke." Quelaan replied.
. . .
Terminal Dogma
Kaworu and Eleanor stepped through the wall of seawater onto the stark white floor of Terminal Dogma, Eleanor carrying a fresh change of clothes for Rei. By the artificial shore, two similarly white changing stations were set up near the edge of the deep orange sea of LCL, the limp form of Suriel hanging ominously above them.
Daniel looked over in front of the stations as he, along with Ritsuko and Maya, noted their arrival. "How was the chat?" Daniel said to Kaworu as they stopped in front of them, a flippant tone only slightly covering the anxiety in his eyes.
"Well enough." Kaworu replied levelly. "What are you planning to do to retrieve Rei?"
"Being foolish is what he's doing." Ritsuko interjected. "We still have no idea-"
"So we'll just have to find out." Daniel said, his brow furrowed in annoyance as he looked over at Ritsuko.
"Daniel…" Eleanor said, stepping forward.
Daniel took a deep breath. "Yeah. I'm going in after her."
. . .
Rei looked back at Suriel. "Is there something that you wish to say to Kadmonel, that I can carry out of this place?
Suriel looked back up at Rei, seeming to stare through her silently. "I…"
Suriel sighed quietly, as another tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm sorry."
It was silent again for a moment, then Rei nodded. "I will make sure that he hears that."
She turned to walk away, then paused as she looked back. "Suriel… thank you. Even if this was not what I expected. We will free you from this duty. We will help you to rest." she said with growing conviction.
Suriel simply looked sadly back at Rei. "Perhaps."
Rei nodded. "Goodbye, for now, Suriel."
She turned and began to walk away from the steward of her soul.
. . .
Daniel entered the changing booth, drawing the white curtain closed as he began to strip down. After all, the process of turning into LCL would stain his good work clothes if he didn't.
As he sat down in the adjacent basin, recoiling slightly at the touch of bare skin on cool metal, he looked up through the opening above him at Lilith.
He'd be entering Lilith, trying to find someone and get them back. The look of Lilith may have—or, rather, might not have—changed, but the memories of how he failed Shinji so long ago, a world away, came crashing back regardless as he drew his knees to his chest.
He took a deep breath as he marshaled his thoughts and fought against the memories. Then another… then another…
"Daniel? Is there something wrong?" Ritsuko called, and Daniel flinched a little as he heard a gunshot in his mind, saw the splash of LCL at the shore of this very room.
The curtain rustled behind him, and he felt the touch of Eleanor's soul on his as she crouched down beside him. "Daniel," she said patiently, "it's going to be okay. I promise."
"I know." Daniel replied quietly. "I know. And yet…"
"I can go if you want." Eleanor said softly. "You don't need to-"
"No." Daniel said firmly. "I need to do this. I need to. To… to be able to tell myself I can do it without screwing everything up."
Eleanor looked at him silently for a moment. "Alright. I'll be with you as far as I can go."
"Thanks, dear." Daniel said gratefully.
Daniel took one last deep breath as he closed his eyes, grateful for the support and understanding he felt through his link with Eleanor. Then, he opened his Sight.
He couldn't have missed Lilith if he was trying. The mass of souls that hung in front of him was like a main-sequence star, the light of the souls that hung there unmistakable.
Daniel took one last breath as his soul moved away from his body, slowly moving towards the entrance to that realm of souls. After what felt like forever, he bumped up against… something. That must have been the Doors of Guf.
"Good luck." Eleanor said through their link before she severed it.
'Thank you. I'll need it.' Daniel thought silently as he began to push against the Doors in front of him. He struggled for a moment and wondered idly if he'd feel it in his muscles when he got back.
Then, the doors gave way, and Daniel tumbled into a familiar ocean of blue and white sand as he heard a distant wet pop.
Daniel looked around at the empty water around him, looking up at the harsh white light that shone down on him. He opened his mouth to call out, then shut it as no sound came out.
He swallowed hard, then looked down at his naked body and shook his head as he closed his eyes as he focused.
When he opened his eyes, he wore one of his t-shirts and a pair of jeans. It would do.
He gathered his wits and his courage and looked forward as he began to advance. "Rei! Rei, if you can hear me, follow the sound of my voice!"
. . .
Rei walked back the way she came slowly and felt… disappointed.
It felt strange to be disappointed in the being who was, at least in some part, responsible for her existence. Certainly, she was sad, and sympathized with her plight, but… she had expected deeper conversation, a look into who the woman Suriel was when all she found was a shell weighed down by the dreams and desires of the souls in her care.
And yet she was also grateful that she could even do this at all, find a degree of separation between herself, her personality and soul, and Lilith, from whence she came.
She shook her head. How she could feel both emotions simultaneously and deeply was still somewhat… confusing to her. Even with all the time she had spent free of the numbing effects of her medication, the mysteries of emotion continued to surprise and fascinate her.
So, she simply listened to the sound of the souls that surrounded her, the symphony washing over her mind and sweeping out the confusion for just a moment. It was a somewhat soothing sound, now, almost familiar to her.
She walked on as she listened, until a far more familiar sound split the spiritual air.
"Rei? Rei! Can you hear me?"
Rei looked around her, straining to hear the voice as she sped up. Was it…
After minutes of searching, Rei saw the small figure of Daniel approaching, clothed and concern etched on his face.
Confusion at his appearance in this place turned to wondering, then her mind helpfully brought up the fact that if Daniel was able to clothe himself, she did not have to go about naked as well. She focused, and a dark t-shirt and jeans manifested on her body as she nodded in satisfaction, looking back up at Daniel as she waved. "I'm here!"
After many minutes of moving more and more quickly towards each other, they finally came to a stop in front of each other.
Rei saw the relief in Daniel's eyes as he examined her silently for a moment, then jumped slightly as he nearly engulfed her in a hug.
"Daniel… I'm okay." she said, her voice somehow muffled despite only being a representation made by her soul. "How long have I been gone?"
"Long enough to worry, but not anything dramatic." Daniel replied. "I'm just… glad I found you."
Rei reached out to Daniel's soul and saw the memories. Familiar memories from many months ago. She understood his relief, now, and hugged Daniel back, squeezing gently. "I am too."
After a moment, they stepped back from the hug, Daniel taking a deep breath. "Alright, then. Shall we go?"
Rei nodded. "Yes, father. We can go now."
. . .
Eleanor stood silently by Ritsuko, Maya, and Kaworu as they waited. And waited some more. Ritsuko stole a glance at a watch every few moments, and even Kaworu began to tap his foot slightly.
Then, a hollow slurp came from within the two changing stations, and Daniel called out from the right stall. "Oh honey, I'm home!" he said in a singsong voice.
A sigh of relief rippled through the collected group. "Oh, good, it was getting late." Eleanor replied. "You're just in time for dinner." she added sardonically.
The rustle of clothing for a moment presaged the slide of the curtains revealing a far more relaxed Daniel and a slightly smiling Rei.
"So," Kaworu said with his slight smile, how was your conversation with Suriel?"
Rei's smile faded, and Kaworu's faltered. "It was… not much of a conversation." Rei replied softly.
"Oh." Kaworu said quietly. "What… was it then?"
Rei took a deep breath as she waved off Ritsuko and Maya's close study of her and began walking towards the door, the group following her. "She is... burdened by her duty. Shackled to it. Not dissimilarly to how the Vessel she resides in is crucified. She gives life to the illusions that those souls currently within her possession."
Ritsuko nodded, looking back at the pale giant with her Sight. "That would make sense, based on what we've been Seeing. Is there something she can do to… free herself?"
Rei shook her head. "Not without our help. As for whether she will accept it… I am unsure."
As they proceeded through Ritsuko's lab and Ritsuko and Maya bid their farewells, Rei looked over at Kaworu. "Suriel also had a message for Kadmonel." she said quietly.
Kaworu arched an eyebrow silently as he looked over at Rei.
"She wants to apologize." Rei said simply.
Kaworu nodded. "I see. Perhaps I will have the chance to tell him soon."