Chapter 32

The Winchesters and Jessie drove back to the motel room in complete silence. Neither of the boys seemed to be in the mood to make small talk and Jessie definitely wasn't. Her head was aching and so was her leg, where she'd been grazed by one of Dean's bullets.

Once they were in the motel room, Jessie flopped onto the couch while Sam hovered nearby. Dean, noticing the tension in the room, excused himself, leaving the room to grab himself a beer.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked as he sat beside her, laying a supportive hand on her knee.

"My head is aching and my leg hurts, but otherwise I'm okay," she replied with a slight smile.

"What happened to your leg?" he asked in surprise.

"One of Dean's bullets grazed it."

She tried to pull her pant leg up to look at it, but her jeans were too tight. So after a moments thought, she stood up and pulled down her pants.

He moved closer, taking a good look at it before deciding she was okay.

"Nothing a bandage can't handle," he said with a smile.

As he stood up, Jessie noticed some blood on the back of his jeans.

"Did you get hit, too?"

He shrugged his shoulders looking surprised.

She grabbed him by the shoulder, turning him around. As soon as she saw where the blood was, she released an involuntary giggle, then covered her mouth to stop herself from doing it again.

"What's so funny?" he asked with annoyance.

"You got shot in the ass and you didn't even notice," she replied trying to stifle a smile.

"What?" he said as he tried desperately to look for himself.

She laughed at him until he shot her an annoyed look.

"Just pull your pants down and let me see."

He hesitated for a moment before pulling down his pants and his underwear.

She leaned in close to his butt cheek to get a closer look.

"It's nothing more than a scrape, Sam," she replied as she slapped his other butt cheek playfully with a grin. "Which is a good thing 'cause you have such a nice ass."

He pulled his pants up quickly before pulling Jessie into his arms and kissing her lightly.

"Thank you," he said softly as he pulled away slightly.

"For what?" she asked curiously.

"For being you."

She looked at him teasingly. "Are you sure you didn't hurt your head too?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. I was just happy to see you accept Sarah's invitation for dinner."

"Why wouldn't I, Sam?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe you'd be happy never to see her again."

She smiled. "Im not gonna lie and say I wasn't jealous, Sam. But I actually like her. She's pretty cool."

He smiled, pulled her close and kissed her deeply, until his brother walked in, slamming the door loudly behind him.

"Are we gonna get ready or what?" he asked impatiently.

Jessie rolled her eyes, let go of Sam, grabbed her dufflebag and headed into the bathroom to change into something more appropriate for a nice dinner, which meant nothing with rips or blood stains. When she was done, she walked into the main room to find Sam already changed and waiting.

With no argument, Jessie allowed Dean to take his car, riding along with no complaints. He seemed to be surprised but Sam wasn't. He assumed she was trying to get along with Dean for his sake.

The dinner was pleasant, if not a little awkward. Jessie really was enjoying herself, although she was being a little reserved. Her thoughts were turned inward and had been since she had changed her clothes earlier. She blamed her silence on the pain she was in, but Sarah seemed to know there was more to it.

Jessie had excused herself, heading to the bathroom for a moment alone. Sarah following her a minute later.

"Are you okay, Jessie?" she asked as she walked in, spying her splashing water on her face.

She wiped her face dry with a paper towel before glancing in her direction.

"I'm fine, Sarah."

"It's not me, is it?"

She smiled slightly. "No, it's not you, and, it's not, Sam."

"So the two of you are okay now?"

"I think we are. Why do you ask?"

"Sam's a good guy. He deserves to be happy."

"I couldn't agree with you more, Sarah."

She was silent, glancing at her pensively before saying more.

"You're good for him, Jessie. And I can see how crazy he is about you. I just wanted you to know that I wish you the best."

She smiled, nodding her head slightly. "Thanks, Sarah. That means a lot."

There was a moment of silence before Sarah grinned.

"We better get back to the table or the guys are gonna think we killed each other or something."

Jessie laughed as she followed Sarah from the bathroom and back to the table.

"What's so funny?" Dean asked as the ladies sat down.

"Your face is, Dean," Jessie replied teasingly.

"Ha, ha," he laughed mockingly.

The rest of the dinner went by well for everyone. Jessie genuinely had a good time and she found she really liked Sarah. If she had time for friends, she thought she would have liked to be friends with her, despite her past with Sam.

When the three of them arrived back at the motel room, Jessie was much more quiet and reserved than she had been only minutes before. She had been sufficiently distracted during the dinner, but now her mind was left alone once again to think. Not waiting for a discussion, she retrieved a blanket and pillow and began to prepare the couch to sleep.

"Jessie," Sam called as she laid out the blanket.

"Sam," she replied turning to face him.

"What're you doing?"

"I'm getting ready for bed, what does it look like?"

He took a few steps closer until he was standing beside her.

"What's going on?" he asked with concern. "Your emotions have been flip-flopping around all night."

She tried not to look too solemn, but she was finding it difficult.

"Can we talk about this in the morning, please?" she begged. "I'm sore and tired. I just really need my sleep."

He gazed at her with concern, nodding his head gently in acquiescence.

"Thank you, Sam," she said quietly, before kissing him gently on the cheek.

He watched quietly while she climbed under the covers, turned to face the back of the couch and became still. He was worried about her but he figured a good night's sleep was probably all she needed. At least that was what he was hoping.

Jessie woke up early the next morning before either of the brothers. Her physical problems felt better from a good night's sleep, but her mental state wasn't much better than it had been before she'd drifted off to sleep.

After she quickly changed her clothes in the bathroom, she left to get some coffee for herself and the Winchesters. Both of them were awake when she came back with the coffee. She'd expected an admonishment for leaving without letting anyone know she was leaving, but Sam didn't even look concerned, which she was pleased to see.

"How're you feeling this morning, Jessie?" Sam asked as she handed him a coffee.

"Physically I'm good," she replied, handing Dean a coffee.

"And mentally?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She drew in a long breath, releasing it slowly. "Can we talk about that when we're alone?"

He looked curious and confused, shooting a knowing look at his brother.

Dean rolled his eyes, sighing exaggeratingly. "Fine. I'll go grab us some breakfast."

Jessie waited until Dean had left before walking over to the couch and sitting down. She hesitated a moment after Sam sat down before turning towards him.

"Before I tell you this, I want you to know this has nothing to do with you."

"Okay," he replied looking both concerned and confused.

"I'm going to be leaving for my house shortly. I need to have a few days to myself."

"Is it something I did, or Dean?"

She shook her head. "No, Sam, it has nothing to do with you or even Dean. The truth is, today is an anniversary of sorts and I almost didn't remember. That in itself kind of upset me." Sam opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted before he had a chance to say anything.

"Today is the day that nine years ago I had to kill my grandfather. I'm usually incapacitated by grief, but, I guess, I don't know–"

He laid his hand on her shoulder looking solemn. "I'm sorry, Jessie, I didn't know."

"I know, it's fine. I just need some time alone at home. Can you give me that, Sam?"

"If you promise to take care of yourself."

She smiled, taking his hand into hers. "Of course I will. Just promise not to contact me unless I contact you."

He hesitated, unsure if he should agree, but he could tell it meant a lot to her, so he relented.

"After I stay at my house for a few days, I'm gonna head to Bobby's to spend a few days with him. I'll call you then."

He leaned in closely, kissing her once gently on the lips. "When are you leaving?"

"Right away," she replied regretfully.

He smiled as he pulled her into a tight embrace, whispering into her ear, "I love you."

She hugged him back tightly, whispering the same in his ear, before pulling herself from his embrace. She knew if she hesitated she wouldn't want to leave, so she immediately began to pack her belongings, with the help of Sam.

Once she was packed, she took one long glance at Sam before walking to the door. She was about to turn the knob when Dean came flying in carrying a paper bag from some restaurant.

"What's going on?" he asked while chewing his breakfast.

"I'm leaving for a few days, Dean. Sam can fill you in," she replied.

He shot her a curious glance before shooting the same one at his brother, who could only shrug in response.

"Here," Dean said as he reached inside the paper bag, pulling out a breakfast wrap and handing it to Jessie.

She took the wrap from him, smiling.

"Thanks, Dean," she said before turning on her heel and walking out of the door.

Jessie threw her bag, laptop and scanner into the backseat of her Caprice and began the long drive home. She drove for almost ten hours before she had to stop from a bathroom break, and something to eat. As soon as she was done, she headed back on the road and didn't stop again until she was home.

It was early in the morning when she arrived at her house. The sky was still pitch black and the air had a coolness to it, although she could also feel a warmth in the air that seemed to promise a warm day.

She grabbed the dufflebag from her backseat and dragged it into the house, throwing it haphazardly onto the couch. After checking she locked her door and set her alarm properly, she hauled her exhausted body upstairs, flopped onto her bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

When Jessie finally awakened it was already late morning. After changing into some clean clothes, she went into the kitchen to find something to eat. She'd forgotten to stop at a store to grab some bread before returning home, so she opened a can of chicken noodle soup to have for breakfast. She would have waited until she could go to the store if she hadn't been so hungry. She now regretted skipping a few meals the day before.

After cleaning up, she walked outside into the warm early June day. The sun was almost completely overhead and was bright in her eyes. She returned to the house to retrieve her sunglasses before heading back out into the backyard.

She pulled a bunch of peonies from one of the gardens as she walked passed it, then continued walking until she reached the place where her family was buried.

The apple trees had been in bloom recently. The discarded dried up blooms were strewn across the grass around them. She wished she could have been home when they bloomed, they always reminded her of her grandfather.

After placing a solitary flower on the spot where her parents, sister and grandmother were buried, she placed the remaining bunch of flowers where her grandfather was buried, then flopped onto the ground sitting cross-legged.

She sat in the shade of the apple trees for a long time just thinking about the past. Sometimes tears would fall, but she was able to keep herself from completely breaking down.

She thought about her grandfather, wondering if he would be proud of her. She came to her own conclusion, assuming he might be proud of her now, but up until a few months ago she figured he wouldn't have been. She hadn't realized how cold and aloof she had really been, or how lonely she really was until she'd met the Winchesters. She may have become a good hunter, but it was at the expense of a social life.

She was about to get up from the ground when she heard the sound of footsteps approaching in the grass behind her. Instinctively she reached for her gun, which was in the pocket of her pants, but with the awkward position she was sitting in, she only managed to fall onto her side.

"Crowley!" she exclaimed as she tried to scramble to her feet.

"It's nice to see you again, my dear," he greeted her with a smirk.

Once she managed to get to her feet, she retrieved her handgun from her pants, only to have Crowley wave his hand lazily, sending it flying into the grass a short distance away.

"What do you want?" she asked furiously, although her body language said she was more frightened than angry.

"Can I not stop by just to visit?" he asked with a sarcastic smirk.

"No. Cut the games and tell me what you want."

His eyes narrowed as he glared at her.

"I just heard that you finally got smart and left the moose, so I came to see for myself."

She was silent for a moment while she pondered how to react.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Crowley, but I'm still with Sam."

"And I'm sorry to hear that, Jessie," he replied regretfully. "I guess I was wrong. You are as dimwitted as the Winchesters."

"Why?" she asked with frustration. "You've never given me a good reason why I shouldn't be with Sam, but somehow I'm supposed to believe a demon that it's a bad thing. That in itself tells me the opposite is probably true."

He chuckled lightly. "You can believe what you want, but I'm just trying to help you."

This time, she was the one who laughed.

"Do you seriously think I believe a word you say, Crowley? I might have some things in common with Sam and Dean, but trusting demons is not one of them."

"Maybe I was wrong," he replied with a grin. "Perhaps you are smarter than them after all."

She rolled her eyes with anger and frustration.

"Was there something else you wanted?"

He grinned furtively. "How did you enjoy your last case?"

She glared at him for a moment before a look of understanding passed in her eyes.

"The box. That was your doing, wasn't it?"

"Guilty."

"Why? Why would you do that to an innocent man?"

He sighed exaggeratedly. "You mean you have no idea? None at all?"

"It was about Sarah, wasn't it? You were hoping she would come between me and Sam."

His only response was a smirk.

"So you killed an innocent man in hopes that it might break us up?"

He nodded in response. "I'm a demon, what can I say? Of course it could have killed you or perhaps even Sam. Then I wouldn't have to stand here speaking to you."

"Why don't you just kill me then, Crowley?"

He grinned. "I could arrange that if you'd like."

"Then do it," she replied, setting her hands on her hips defiantly.

He narrowed his eyes wondering if he should call her bluff or not.

"I'm not going to make it that easy on you."

She shook her head in disbelief.

"If you're not going to kill me then get the hell outta here."

She thought she noticed a strange kind of pride in his eyes as he fixed his gaze on her. His eyes narrowed, but he said nothing before he disappeared abruptly.

Jessie's brave façade fell away the moment he disappeared. She began to tremble slightly and her breathing began to come in ragged gasps. It took a few moments to gain control over her panic, but she did so as she took a series of long breaths to calm herself.

Once her mind had shifted back to survival mode, she went looking for her gun, which she quickly found, then almost ran into her house. She knew if nothing else, she would be safe from Crowley there. No demon would ever be able to get in.

She went in search of her phone, which she found lying by her dufflebag, which was still on the couch exactly where she'd left it. But as she held the phone in her hand, she wasn't sure who she should call. She knew if she called Sam, he would rush to the house and she wouldn't be able to have the alone time she needed. But she knew if she called Bobby, he would call the Winchesters.

After much thought, she decided to wait to tell anyone about Crowley. She needed some time to herself and she preferred to forget about demons for the time being.

Although she was hesitant about leaving the house again, she wasn't going to allow demons to keep her from living her life. She headed in to town shortly after Crowley's appearance to grab some perishables and toiletries, before stopping by Frank's bar to visit with Mike. She didn't stay long. He'd always known her way too well and he could tell something was bothering her. She tried to play it off as sadness because of the anniversary of her grandfather's death, but he didn't seem to buy it.

When she got home, she put her things away before going outside to weed the numerous gardens around the house and yard. She was pleased that the new person she'd hired to cut the grass was doing a good job, but he wasn't doing any of the extra things the previous man had done for her. She felt a tinge of guilt as she thought about him.

She was exhausted when she finally finished cleaning up the flower beds. She made herself a simple dinner, sat in front of the TV and fell fast asleep before the sun was even fully set.

The next day she spent tidying up the house. While it wasn't really dirty, it was dusty and had begun to collect cobwebs in the corners and behind open doors. She also took down the blinds, hosing them off outside and washed the curtains, before she steam cleaned the carpets and furniture.

She ate sparsely that day and decided to leave the dishes for the next day. She'd overworked herself and she was exhausted. She didn't even attempt to watch TV this time, she went straight upstairs to bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

After having breakfast and washing the dishes that morning, she decided she'd had more than enough alone time. In the time she'd spent alone, she realized she really had changed in the past couple months. And while she did like to have some alone time, she really missed Sam, and to a lesser extent, Dean. Even the anniversary of her grandfather's death couldn't incapacitate her like it had in previous years. For the first time in a long time she felt really and truly alive.

She packed everything she would need, made sure everything was closed and secure, then began the almost two hour drive to Bobby's house. She had thought about calling him beforehand, but she was hoping to surprise him.

When she pulled her car into the driveway, she glimpsed the Impala parked close to the house. She wasn't sure if she should be upset they would be at Bobby's waiting for her, but she realized it could be entirely innocent. After all, they didn't have any idea how long she'd been planning to stay at her home.

She walked into the kitchen quietly, being careful not to close the door too loudly. She could hear muffled voices coming from the library, so she walked softly through the kitchen door. But as she stepped into view of the assembled group, everyone became silent, turning around with a surprised look on their face. However, none of their faces were as surprised as hers as she glimpsed Castiel standing amongst the group.

"What's going on?" she asked anxiously.

Bobby and the Winchesters glanced at Castiel then back at Jessie.

"Well?" she asked impatiently.

"I should go," Castiel said before disappearing in the blink of an eye. The sound of wings flapping announcing his departure.

"Does this have something to do with Crowley?" she asked, fixing her eyes on Bobby.

"Why would you ask that?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "He came to pay me a visit the other day, but somehow I think you already knew that."

She noticed no one was surprised by her admission.

"Cas has been watching Crowley, trying to figure what he's been up to. He only just told us about the visit he made to your house," he replied.

"What did he tell you?"

He glanced quickly at Sam before turning his attention back to her.

"He didn't hear the entire conversation."

"Well let me give you all the gist of it then," she said with frustration. "He was the one that sent the box to Daniel Blake hoping it would cause problems between me and Sam. He obviously doesn't want us together. I did tell him just to kill me, but for some reason he wouldn't go for that."

The three men looked horrified as she spoke so matter-of-factly about offering herself up to Crowley.

"Well, Cas was there. Maybe that's why he didn't," Dean said.

She snorted. "Really, Dean? Do you really think Castiel would bother trying to stop him?"

"I think he would have."

She chuckled. "You think too highly of your angel friend, Dean."

He gazed at her angrily but didn't respond.

"What do you think Crowley wanted, Jess?" Sam asked with concern.

She hesitated when she realized what he had called her, but she decided not to let it bother her.

"I don't know what his real intention is, but he said he was trying to help me."

"Crowley trying to help you, that's rich," Dean said sarcastically.

She sighed loudly.

"My alone time didn't go exactly as planned, although nothing seems to be going that way lately," she said turning to Bobby. "But I'm here to fight another day and I'm in one piece. I guess I can't ask for much more than that."

Bobby nodded his head and smiled. "And don't you forget it, kid."

She returned his smile. "Now that that's settled, when's lunch?"

He rolled his eyes teasingly with a smile then headed towards the kitchen, patting her on the shoulder affectionately as he passed by her.

Dean glanced at his brother and Jessie awkwardly for a moment before following Bobby into the kitchen.

Sam approached her almost reluctantly, unsure what kind of mood she was really in. But as he stood beside her, she wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled.

"Did you miss me?" she asked with a grin.

"Of course I did," he replied as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into an embrace.

She closed her eyes as she laid her head against his chest, holding him tightly. She'd missed him more than she realized until the moment she'd laid eyes on him again.

He stroked her hair until she finally opened her eyes and gazed up at him. He took that moment to lean down and kiss her lips lightly.

"I thought you were going to be angry with me," he said quietly as he brushed some hair from her face.

Her look remained even for a moment while she tried to figure out what he meant.

"For which thing, Sam? For speaking to Castiel about me, or for calling me Jess?" she asked impassively.

"Uh, both."

She continued to look impassive for a moment before smiling.

"It's okay, Sam. I'm not angry. I don't even care."

"You don't?" he asked with surprise.

"Nope. Not even a little."

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked jokingly.

She smiled. "Absolutely."

He looked like he didn't believe her, but he had no reason to think she was lying.

"The question is, Sam, are you mad at me?"

He looked at her questioningly. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I didn't call to tell you about Crowley."

"Oh, well, I'm not mad about that."

"Why not?" she asked with surprise.

He smiled lightly, brushing her face lightly with his hand.

"You said you needed some time to yourself. I figured you would have told me, if Cas hadn't gotten to it first."

She returned his smile. "That was the plan. As usual, something had to interfere."

"I'm just glad you're okay."

They kissed lightly for a short time before walking into the kitchen, hand in hand, sitting at the table beside each other.

While everyone was eating a simple lunch that consisted of a sandwich and some soup, one of Bobby's phones began to go off. The Winchesters and Jessie listened to Bobby's end of the conversation hoping to figure out what was going on.

"Why would you call me about this? Can't you take care of this?" he asked, pausing for a response. "And there's no one else?" He rolled his eyes as he listened.

"I'll see what I can do," he said, hanging up the phone.

"What's going on, Bobby?" Dean asked.

"Uh," he said glancing at him. "Nothing for you to worry about."

Dean traded a questioning look with his brother, who looked like he was about to say something, when Bobby's phone went off again.

"I already told Chet that's not gonna happen," he said to the new caller after listening for a minute.

"What the hell?" Dean asked his brother.

He only shrugged his shoulders in response.

"She's not gonna do it and that's all there is to it," Bobby said as he glanced at Jessie. "You need to find someone else."

He began pacing around the room while the brothers were looking at Jessie curiously.

"She can't be the only person for the job. You need to look harder." He said angrily as he turned away from the table. "No! What part of that don't you understand!"

He was quiet for a moment before he hung up the phone, uttering, "Idjit."

"Bobby?" Jessie called, but was interrupted by her phone ringing.

She looked at the screen of her phone, raising an eyebrow before she answered it.

She was listening intently to the caller, her face changing from curious and confused to shock and dismay. Sam was concerned, but Bobby looked downright furious.

She said very little during the call, disconnecting it without so much as a bye.

"What is it, Jessie?" Sam asked with concern.

She looked at him for a moment before getting out of her seat and fixing her gaze on Bobby.

"Was that Malcolm?" he asked.

She nodded her head.

"He doesn't seem to understand what no means. I'm gonna call him back."

"No, Bobby, it's okay."

"No, it's not. I told him not to call you and that's exactly what he did. That idgit needs a good what for."

"Bobby," she said with a sigh. "Don't waste your breath."

"You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, Jess. No one would think any less of you."

"But I would."

The brothers looked at each other with confusion, before Sam stood up from his seat. He walked over to Jessie, placed his arm around her back in support, but she shrugged it off.

"I'm gonna go get my stuff from the car," she said quickly, leaving the kitchen before anyone could say more.

"What was that all about, Bobby?" he asked.

"Oh no, this isn't my story to tell, Sam. You're just gonna have to get that out of her yourself."

He glanced at his brother who could only shrug.

Sam sighed. "Fine. I guess I'll go talk to her."

Bobby glanced at him with a smirk.

"Good luck, boy. You're gonna need it."

A/N: I'm SO sorry it took so long to update. My hard drive finally failed and I had to make sure that was all it is before I replaced it. The bad part was, I had part of this chapter written and I hadn't had time to back it up before it died. I remembered the gist of it, so I just changed it a little. The part with Crowley might have been much better the first time I wrote it, but whatcha gonna do, right? lol.

It might be a bit before I update again, all depends. While I was unable to write, I had all kinds of ideas for my other fanfics, go figure. So while they're still fresh—ish in my mind I'm gonna try and get some of that written as well.

Thanks for reading!