Chapter 71

Jessie stared at her husband and his brother in shock. She hadn't expected to see them so soon. Even though all she had dreamt about while she was in hell was being with Sam again, now that she was here with him, it didn't seem as simple as that. So much had happened and so much time had passed, especially for her.

There was an awkward silence for many moments, before Sam finally spoke.

"Jess, is that really you?" he asked with trepidation.

She smiled awkwardly, shaking her head in response.

"Sam," Dean called, placing a hand on his shoulder. "We can't be sure that's her."

She wasn't sure what it was about Dean's tone, but it irritated her enough she couldn't stay silent. She raised her hand in front of Bobby, as if to make sure he understood she had it under control.

"Yes, it's me, okay," she said sighing with exaggeration. "There's no need to check if I'm a demon, Bobby already did. Besides, I didn't think of this before, you know, because I was dead for sixty years, but, demons can't get in this house because of the iron so..." she trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

The three men shared awkward and uncomfortable glances for a few moments. Then Bobby gave a supportive pat on Jessie's back before he walked towards the front door.

"Dean, why don't we go to the store?" he suggested as he stopped at the door, turning to look at Dean.

Dean gave Bobby a look of understanding, then gave his brother a meaningful glance and a pat on the back as he left with Bobby without a word.

The couple looked at each other awkwardly for several moments, before Sam approached Jessie hesitantly, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace, burying his head in the crook of her neck where he began to silently cry tears of joy and relief.

Jessie flinched slightly at Sam's touch, but allowed him to hold her tightly. She had dreamt of this for so long, she didn't want to ruin it. But after the torture she'd suffered in hell, it was difficult to be in such close physical contact without feeling some panic. She did her best to shut it out of her mind, though. The warmth of her husband's body and his scent made her feel relaxed for the first time in a very long time. She buried her face into his chest, sobbing gently.

The couple held each other for several minutes, before Sam loosened his grip, pulling back so he could look into his wife's eyes.

"I can't believe you're here," he said, choking back tears as he spoke.

She smiled brightly. "I can't either."

"I've missed you so much," he said, while a lone silent tear rolled down his face.

She wiggled free of his embrace, then took his hand and lead him to the couch, sitting down. Once he had sat down beside her, she took his hand into hers.

"It's been a really long time for me, Sam," she said, trembling slightly. "And I've been through a lot."

"I get that," he said gently. "I do."

As hard as she tried, she couldn't keep the tears from welling up in her eyes. She was trying to be brave, but for the first time in her life, she didn't want to be. She wanted to curl up into a ball and just sleep so she didn't have to remember her time in hell anymore. But as she looked into the eyes of the man she loved, she knew she couldn't do that to him.

"But you have to understand, Sam," she began, her voice trembling slightly as she spoke. "I'm not the same person I was six months ago. It's been sixty years for me. And the things I went through..." she paused for a moment, choking back a few tears,"it changes a woman."

Sam looked at her sadly. Grabbing both of her hands, he squeezed them firmly in support. "I'll be as patient as you need. I never thought I would see you again."

She smiled at him as she pulled her hands from his grip, snuggling up beside him. As he wrapped his arm around her, she sighed with contentment. "I love you, Sam," she whispered.

"I love you, too, Jess," he whispered in response. "More than you know."

Jessie closed her eyes intending only to rest for a few moments. But she was terribly exhausted and was unable to keep herself from drifting off into a restless slumber.

It was almost an hour later when she awoke suddenly, screaming. But once her eyes were open and she realized she was still in Sam's arms, she was able to calm herself down.

"You're okay," Sam said gently as he stroked her hair.

Her first instinct was a snarky remark like. But not only did she not think it was the time, something in her didn't have the energy for it. She didn't think she had any fight left in her at the moment and that was what usually drove her sarcasm.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"No thanks needed," he said as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

She sighed in contentment then closed her eyes again, this time only to relax. However, it was only minutes later that Bobby and Dean walked back into the house. She knew this meant the time for relaxing was over, at least for some time.

"Did the two of you have a chance to talk?" Bobby asked as he sat down on a chair across from the couch.

Dean sat down on the chair beside Bobby, looking at his brother intently.

"Not really," Sam replied. "Jessie was tired. She mostly slept."

Jessie didn't know why, but she suddenly felt embarrassed. She knew it wasn't an accusation, but it felt like it. She tried very hard to push those negative thoughts out of her head, knowing they came from a place of insecurity. However, after all she'd been through, it wasn't that easy. She had never been a terribly anxious person, but her experience in hell put her on edge. It wasn't something that was going to be easy for her to shake.

Bobby looked at her with sympathy. "I'm sorry, Jess. But I think it's time we got some answers."

She sat up straighter, suddenly feeling like she needed to act confident, even though she felt the furthest away from that.

"Let me guess, you want to know who sprung me from hell?" she asked rhetorically. "You can save it because I have no idea who."

Dean looked at her suspiciously, but stayed silent.

"You have no idea at all?" Bobby asked with surprise.

The truth was, she did know who brought her back. But one of the conditions was she wasn't allowed to tell anyone. And although she hated herself for having to lie to the people who cared most about her, it was neccesary. And she was going to have to play the part well enough to fool them. She felt herself become even more anxious as she worked up what little courage she had at the moment.

"No idea at all, Bobby," she said as convincingly as she could. "And before you ask, no, it wasn't Crowley. Yes, he was pissed I was there. He needed me alive for whatever plan he had for me, but he can't just release souls from hell."

"Hmmm," he said with a pondering look. "I always wondered about that. But how do you know for sure?"

"He told me so."

"He told you? Why would he do that?" he asked curiously.

She sighed loudly. "Why does Crowley do anything? To hear his own voice of course."

Bobby grinned just slightly knowing she was right, before he took on a serious demeanor once again. "But I don't understand why he took the time. The king of hell usually has more important things to do."

She stood up from the couch, suddenly becoming agitated. "You would think, right? But not only did he like to show up and tell me how angry he was with what had happened, he often came to oversee my..." she trailed off for a moment, shuddering. "my punishments."

Bobby stood up from the chair, closing the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her when he noticed tears begin to fall. He could feel her trembling begin to ease as he held her, which he did for a short time until she was able to get control of herself again.

Once both of them had returned to their seats, Dean decided it was finally time for him to speak.

"Jessie, let me be the bad guy here," he began, watching as she looked at him both curiously and apprehensively."What did you sell your soul for?"

"Dean!" Bobby and Sam yelled at the same time.

"It's fine," she said, shooting both of the men an understanding look. "I know all of you want to know. I did it to save my son."

The three men suddenly looked ashamed.

"Speaking of, where is my son?" she asked, suddenly feeling her anxiety rise again.

The three men looked at each other apprehensively, neither sure they wanted to be the one to explain.

"Wait!" she exclaimed, standing up from the couch. "He's not dead, is he?" she asked, fear and trepidation lacing each word, tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

"No, he's not," Bobby replied quickly.

She shot each man the angriest look she could muster while she was visibly shaking. "Where is he then?"

"Jessie," Sam called as he stood up beside her, reaching out to take her hand into his.

"No," she said adamantly, pulling her hand from his grip. "You tell me and you tell me now. I might be traumatised by hell, but I am not, fucking, broken and I want to know right now!"

"Can we not talk about this later?" Maybe when we're alone," Sam asked gently.

She knew Sam was trying to spare her feelings, but she was much too irate to think clearly.

"I went to hell for our son, Sam. I think I deserve to know what's happened to him."

Sam was taken aback by her words, so much so he flinched as if they had physically hit him.

"Boys," Bobby called firmly. "Why don't you go find something to do outside."

Sam and Dean both looked at him as if they were going to refuse, but as he stood up and gave them a stern look, they knew he was serious and neither of them wanted to argue with him.

Once they had left, he walked over to the couch and sat down, urging Jessie to do the same. And once she had, he took her hands into his, knowing this was going to be incredibly tough to tell her.

"Jessie, I want you to know we did everything we could for that boy," he began explaining with sadness. "But our everything wasn't good enough for the state. They didn't see an old drunk and two men with police records as parenting material. So they took him away from us."

She silently listened to his explanation, tears welling up in her eyes. And although she understood why the state would want to take her son, she couldn't understand why any of them had let it happen. She knew she would've taken her son and ran. She couldn't understand why they didn't do the same thing. She felt incredibly hurt and betrayed.

"I need you to go, Bobby," she said as she pulled her hands free of his grip. "And take the two of them with you."

"Jessie, you can't be serious?" he said with concern. "We can't leave you here alone."

The anger that was bubbling up inside her was dangerously close to boiling over. She tried so hard to tell herself he only meant well, but she was no longer rational.

"How dare you think you know what's best for me!" she yelled irately as she stood up. "You can't even look after one baby."

Bobby looked at her with utter shock, too stunned to say anything.

"I can't believe that after all I sacrificed for my son, that the three of you allowed this to happen," she continued angrily. "What did I go to hell for? Why was I tortured and..." she stopped herself, unable to finish her thought.

"Jessie, please," he pleaded. "I know you're upset, but you need to calm down so we can discuss this rationally."

She narrowed her eyes in disbelief. "Did you just call me irrational?"

"That's not what I said at all," he replied as calmy as possible.

She closed her eyes, fighting to keep herself calm. Deep down she knew Bobby would never do something to hurt her or her son, but hell was still fresh in her mind. All the anger and frustration she had was trying to overtake her. The worst part was it made her feel better. Not so lost and frightened. But she didn't want to take it out on Bobby. Regardless of being angry with him about the situation, she knew he would never intentionally do anything to hurt her.

"Get out, Bobby," she said quietly, once she was able to open her eyes and speak calmly.

"What?" he asked in surprise.

She glared at him with frustration. "You heard me. Get out. And take the boys with you."

"You can't really mean that."

"I'm dead serious," she snapped. "I need some time alone."

"But..."

He tried to speak but she cut him off.

"Please, just do as I ask," she begged calmly, finally able to keep control of her emotions. "And if you're so inclined, you can send Sam back here tomorrow after I've had some time to myself. But just him."

He pondered her request for a few moments before nodding in agreement. As he turned to leave, he turned back around to face her once again, looking at her with concern.

"You know how to contact me if you need me, right?"

She nodded her head in response, not wanting to speak in case she changed her mind.

He lingered there for a few moments, then headed out the door, hesitating again for a few moments before closing the door behind him.

Jessie walked up to the door, leaning against it to listen. She couldn't make out words, but she could hear the raised voices of the three men obviously having a heated discussion. But after a couple of minutes, she heard them quiet down and then the roar of two engines. She then walked to the window and made sure they had actually driven away, before collapsing on the floor against the wall and began to sob heavily.

She cried for several minutes before she managed to get control of her emotions and think clearly once again. She then realized it had probably been a mistake to ask the three men to leave. She had been angry and frustrated and she did want some time alone to think. But now that it would be dark soon, she wasn't feeling very brave. In fact, she felt terrified. And even though she knew her house was a safe place to be, fear gripped her tightly as it had for the past sixty years and was unwilling to release it's grip.

She picked herself up from the floor a few minutes later then began walking around her house to turn every single light switch to on before the darkness appeared. After she was sure every light was on, even in the rooms she probably wouldn't even venture into, she headed to her computer room.

After checking to make sure her security system was armed and the cameras were still working, she booted up her other computer, waiting for it impatiently. She only had one thought running through her mind and that was to find her son. She could only hope that not only did she remember how to hack, but that technology hadn't changed too drastically in the six months since she'd been gone.

While she was in the midst of trying to get into the state's system, she heard a very loud knock at her front door that made her physically jump in her chair. Turning to look at her monitors to see who it was, she suddenly felt violently sick to her stomach. She wanted to ignore it, but she knew there was no way her visitor was going to leave without speaking with her. However, it was the last thing she wanted to do.

It took her a short time to work up enough courage to even get out of her seat. And each step towards the front door felt heavier than the last. As she stood at the door, she felt her heart beating wildly and she could barely breathe. But she managed to open the wooden door, leaving the screen door closed.

Although she felt like she was about to jump out of her skin, she knew no matter how terrified she was, she couldn't allow herself to show her fear. Not to him.

"What the fuck do you want, Crowley?" she yelled as bravely and confidently as she could.