Chapter 74

Jessie woke up late in the morning feeling rested for the first time since coming back from hell. She remembered she'd had some nightmares, but they didn't manage to wake her. She really hoped that meant she was finally managing to take control over the nightmares. Of course, she called them nightmares, but they were more like memories. And since they were memories, they were much harder to ignore. But she felt she was beginning to get a handle on them and that put her in a good mood, despite all of the emotional trauma she had dealt with the day before.

After a shower and a light breakfast, she began to clean her house from top to bottom. Every room was dusted, every floor cleaned and even every window. She washed her curtains as well as everything that had been in the linen closet and in the kitchen drawers. Once she was satisfied the house smelled much cleaner and fresher, she began to clean out the cupboards.

It was quite late in the evening before she was completely done cleaning for the day. And since she was hungry, she cooked herself a light meal, being too exhausted to cook something more substantial. After some texts with Sam, she went to bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

When she woke up the next morning, she regretted doing so much work the day before. While it did help her sleep through the night purely from exhaustion, and also kept her mind off her sorrow, the pain was more than she had anticipated. She had pushed herself way too hard and now she was paying for it.

Although she wasn't a fan of taking baths, she made an exception. Her muscles ached so much from all of the cleaning the day before, soaking in the tub was a welcome way to help ease the sore muscles. And in all honesty, it was the reason she could even manage to move around. She had forgotten what being alive was like. In hell, things were much different.

After her bath, she spent the day mostly relaxing and catching up on news. Although after lunch she decided to take a walk outside since it was a mild day.

Once she had come back into the house, she realized she probably shouldn't have gone outside at all, just in case Crowley had decided to pay her a visit. She wasn't ready to deal with him again so soon. And hopefully not again for a lifetime. Although she knew better than that.

She cooked herself a decent evening meal, then spent the rest of the evening watching some action movies and texting Sam, falling asleep on the couch.

She awoke part way through the night with an uneasy feeling. But as she lied on the couch attempting to shake the feeling and go back to sleep, she heard movement of some sort outside. And although fear was griping at her with all its might, she managed to drag her sore, weary body off of the couch.

She approached the livingroom window with soft, deliberate steps, stopping beside the curtains, but being careful not to brush up against them. She stood there as still and quiet as possible, listening intently. She could feel herself trembling, which she chastized herself for.

She stood there quietly for more than a minute before she heard a voice call her name in a taunting manner. It was a voice she'd heard before. One that had her both paralyzed in fear, but also livid.

Although she was frightened and in pain, she sailed to the front door almost instantly, wrenching it open furiously. She placed her hand on the handle to the screen door, then pulled away suddenly as if she'd touched hot metal. It had taken her a few moments to come to her senses. Her anger getting the better of her for a moment, but thankfully her senses had come back to her. It would be a huge mistake to leave the house. She was safe as long as she stayed inside.

It was only a few moments before the dark figure stepped into the light coming from the porch.

"Hello, Jessie," she said with a smirk.

Jessie balled her hands into fists so hard, she could feel her fingernails about to break skin.

"What the fuck do you want, Meg?" she said through gritted teeth.

"My, my, what language," she replied with a mirthless grin.

"What do you want?" she repeated as she unballed her fists.

She giggled slightly. "Don't you want to come out here and talk?"

"Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"It was worth a shot," she said with a smile and a shrug.

Jessie wanted nothing better than to go outside and kill her. But she knew she had no weapon capable of killing her, nor was she strong enough to take her on alone.

"Did you come here for a particular reason, Meg?" she said, trying to sound disinterested.

She was silent for a few moments, seeming to ponder the question. When she spoke, all traces of a smirk had disappeared.

"I was... curious," she said, pausing for a moment as if to collect her thoughts. "How do you feel about Crowley these days?"

An involuntary shudder ran through her body at the mention of his name.

"What do you mean?" she asked with confusion.

She smirked just slightly. "I mean, after all the torturing, are you still going to be his... little pet?"

Jessie felt so many emotions with that one question. Pain. Fear. Rage. She had to swallow hard before she could even speak.

"I see. You've come to see how and why I was let out of hell, is that it?" she asked, not stopping to wait for a response. "You're scared that Crowley somehow found a way to let me out so I could help him. But are you truly that stupid. Meg?"

She looked at her with a mixture of curiosity and ire. "I am anything but stupid."

Jessie stared at her for a few moments with the slightest of smirks.

"You know as well as I do that Crowley cannot just let souls walk out of hell. And after the torturing, do you really think I would have anything to do with him?"

"Of course not. That's why I'm here."

"Wait. You're not here to try and use me to get to Crowley, are you?" she asked with a hint of a snicker.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Are you telling me you wouldn't want to get back at him?"

Jessie shook her head in disbelief. "Are you really that desperate? Should I name all the reasons why I wouldn't help you even if my life depended on it?"

"Oh please, that should all be water under the bridge by now."

"Are you serious?!" she seethed. "Because of you my best friend is dead!"

"You would give up an opportunity like this because of him?"

"Opportunity?" she scoffed. "Making deals with demons definitely isn't an opportunity. I learned that lesson the hard way."

She laughed. "Just because Crowley burned you doesn't mean I will."

"Meg, if I had to make a deal with a demon, you'd be the last one," she snorted. "At least Crowley never tried to lie and tell me he would never turn on me."

She narrowed her eyes at her for a few moments."You may find this hard to believe, but I don't want you dead. And I don't want those flannel clad brothers dead either. I just want Crowley dead. That's it. No pretense. No games. Nothing. And I don't care how that happens. As long as I never have to hear that stupid accent of his ever again."

Jessie shook her head. "Even if I believed you, it'll never happen. You want to use my son to get to Crowley. And not only do I not know where he is, even if I did, I would never let you near him."

Meg looked away for several moments as if she was thinking. When she met Jessie's gaze again, she looked serious. "And what if we could do it without your son? Would you help me then?"

While she was taken aback just slightly, she did her best not to show it. She would definitely never help Meg. As much as she wanted Crowley dead, she was never going to make another deal with a demon as long as she lived. And especially not with Meg. Even if their goals aligned, it didn't matter. She would find a way to not only destroy Crowley for what he had done to her, but Meg as well.

"Absolutely not," she replied adamantly many moments later. "I can't trust you. And as enticing as it sounds to kill Crowley, I'll have to pass. I can't keep repeating my mistakes. Very few people get an opportunity to come back from the dead. And I'm not going to ruin that by jumping straight into bed with demons again."

Meg stood quietly for many moments before speaking.

"Fine. I think you're making a terrible mistake, but it is what it is," she replied with a shrug. "Don't come crying to me later when you need help to take him down. He will search for your son until he finds him and then he will twist him into pure evil. Mark my words."

"You act like you wouldn't do the same exact thing if you could, Meg."

The demon smirked slightly. "I don't have the resources he does as King of Hell. So the chances of me finding your son is pretty slim. This is why I wanted your help. If we take him out, there is no need for your son to ever be in danger."

She shook her head. "No. My son will always be in danger as long as he's alive. Sure, without Crowley in the picture, he would be one less thing to worry about. But even if he didn't have any powers, he's a Winchester and that's reason enough for him to be in danger. I can't, no, I won't, risk his life. And I won't make the mistake of trusting a demon again."

"Okay, I get it," she said with a shrug. "You will regret not taking my help, but that's your choice and you've made up your mind. But I would like to leave you with a bit of advice if I can."

Jessie's eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Advice, huh?"

Meg looked at her with piercing eyes. "Don't trust anyone. Every single person has an agenda here and none if it bodes well for you."

"Why would you tell me this?" she asked in shock.

"What can I say, I admire you. Despite all odds, you've managed to, mostly, survive all of this. How you didn't die to the demon blood...well, that was very impressive."

"Wait! Die to the demon blood? What do you mean?" she asked in surprise.

She chuckled quietly. "Of course Crowley never told you, did he? The reason ol' yellow eyes fed babies demon blood was to make them able to handle their power later on in life. It wasn't just to manifest their powers. You could've killed yourself and your unborn son. The fact you not only survived, but also managed to control some of your powers was very inspiring. And here you thought weaning yourself off the stuff was the only way it could kill you."

Jessie felt like she'd been hit by a truck. She wanted to believe Meg was lying, but deep down she knew she wasn't. She knew the truth would affect her more than lying to her ever would. And the fact she had been close to the yellow eyed demon, Azazael, meant she probably knew more about it than even Crowley did. She had always known Crowley was keeping things from her, but she had no idea about this. It made her regret so much worse than it had already been. She wouldn't have thought that possible, but here she was feeling even more regret than ever.

When it seemed obvious that Jessie wasn't going to speak again, Meg took that opportunity to continue speaking.

"You're obviously much stonger than you know, which is probably why the Winchesters were so attracted to you."

"Okay, that's enough," she said, swinging her hand in front of her for emphasis. "I appreciate the advice, but I'm tired of this conversation."

Meg grinned widely. "I see I've hit a nerve. No matter, I meant what I meant. I admire you, Jessie. If you ever change your mind about helping me take down that Scottish swine, then hit me up." She began to turn away, but stopped herself. "When I said not to trust anyone, I meant anyone. Those winged dickbags aren't on your side either. You need to know that."

Jessie didn't know what to make of what she had said, so she stayed silent and just nodded. The moment she disappeared from sight, she closed her front door instantly, pushed her back up against it and slinked to the floor, burying her face in her hands and began to quietly sob. The sobbing was as much because of what had been said as well as it was because she was relieved she was gone. As brave as she was trying to be, she didn't really feel brave.

Although Meg had said a lot of things, the comment about the angels is what really stuck with her. She had trusted Cas, moreso because she wanted out of hell so badly she would've done just about anything. Considering what she had promised him, though, maybe she had made a huge mistake. She already knew it was going to be a problem with Bobby and the Winchesters. But now she had her doubts in Cas. Maybe he hadn't told her everything. Maybe she couldn't trust him to be honest with her anymore than Crowley had. And since it was too late to change her mind now, a feeling of pure dread washed over her making her stomach feel uneasy.

She stayed on the floor long after the sobbing had stopped and her mind had quieted, feeling much too exhausted, and in pain, to stand up. But eventually she willed herself to stand and headed up to her bedroom, flopping onto the bed. Once she was comfortable, she fell asleep quickly, despite the turmoil in her mind.

When she woke up in the morning, it was still early. The sun had barely risen and it was overcast outside, making it dark and dreary. It fit her mood almost exactly.

After she made herself a simple breakfast, she decided to start packing up her dufflebag so she could head over to Bobby's house. While she missed him, she was also enjoying being alone. Except for the unwanted visitors, it had been nice.

The drive to Bobby's was mostly uneventful. Although, her car had begun to make a sound she wasn't pleased to hear. She wasn't quite sure what was wrong, but she planned a complete tune up at some point very soon. With everything that had been happening, she had neglected to think of her car. Something she would soon rectify.

When Bobby's house came into sight, she felt a surge of elation. It made her incredibly happy to be back here once again. Memories of the times she had shared in the house with him and the Winchesters had kept her going in hell. And although there were also some unpleasant memories associated with the house as well, those were very far from her mind at the moment.

Even though it was a cold day, Bobby came outside to greet her as she pulled up to the house. He practically tackled her to get a hug as she got out of the car, which surprised her, but made her even happier than she already was.

"I can grab my own bag, old man," she teased as he made to grab the dufflebag from her hands.

"Would it hurt to let this old man spoil you?" he teased back.

Although she knew he was teasing, there was more behind those words than what he had said. He was happy to see her. And more than that, he was relieved.

"Fine," she said with a smile, handing him the bag.

"That's better," he said with a wink.

She followed him into the house, taking off her coat the moment she got inside and hanging it up. Then sat at the kitchen table where he motioned for her to sit. After he placed the dufflebag onto one of the vacant chairs, he went to the counter, bringing her back a hot cup of coffee.

"Wow, you're really going all out on the spoiling today," she teased with a grin.

He smiled, but it wasn't as bright as it had been.

"What's wrong?" she asked suspiciously, putting her cup down on the table.

"Nothing," he said, trying to sound innocent.

"Okay, I may have been gone a while, but I know when you're hiding something, Bobby."

He sighed loudly. "Look, I was gonna let you settle in for a few before we get into it. But if you need to know now.."

"I would rather get it out of the way," she replied, then took a sip of her coffee.

"I, uh, well, out of habit, you see, I still have your security camera up on my laptop..."

"You've been spying on me?" she interrupted, suddenly worried. She hoped he hadn't been watching her when she left to find her son. She didn't want to explain where she had gone for so long. It would be difficult to come up with a lie on such short notice.

"No, not exactly," he replied a little sheepishly. "But it was on last night when I couldn't sleep and, well, I saw something I hope you were gonna tell me about it."

"You want to know what Meg wanted?" she asked knowingly.

He nodded.

She sighed lightly. "Could we talk about this after I put my stuff away? I wasn't really expecting to get into this right away?

"But you were gonna talk to me about this?" he asked suspiciously.

"Of course, Bobby," she replied adamantly. "If I've learned anything it's to not keep this stuff to myself anymore."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Fine. We can talk about it when you've settled in."

"Thank you," she said, taking a quick sip of her coffee before getting up from the table, grabbing her dufflebag and heading upstairs.

Although it was true she didn't intend on keeping secrets anymore, she knew there were still some she needed to keep and it made her feel lousy. She wanted to do things differently this time around. And she wanted to be trusted, since she had pretty much ruined all of that in the past. She knew it was pretty much impossible, but she was going to only keep things secret that needed to be. The rest of the time she aimed to be an open book.

As she walked up the stairs to head to the bedroom she called hers, she had to pass the room that Bobby and the WInchesters had turned into a nursery. A deep sadness overcame her so quickly she felt like she couldn't breath. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to keep the tears that were welling up from spilling. It took a few moments, but she eventually overcame the sadness enough to continue walking in the bedroom. After dumping her dufflebag unceremoniously onto the floor, she threw herself onto the bed and began to let her anguish out.