The Magicians' Realm Chapter 84: Calculating, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

Chapter 84, everyone! In which the writer needs to focus on the next couple of chapters—darn inspiration hitting elsewhere. On a more entertaining note: I used 'pundit' here and looked it up, as I'm wont to do when I use a word with only a vague idea of the meaning and want to make sure it means what I think (like me using the turn 'fob off' when a fob is, in reality, that tiny pocket in your jeans—just looked it up to make sure, and it can also refer to the chain of the pocket watch that the fob pocket is supposed to store, as well as being an old term for cheat or deceive. This has been another useless fact). Pundit, to get back on track, means an expert or an authority on some subject, and was something Mom asked me the meaning of shortly after I wrote the section it appears in. How strange. *-*

Oh, and the okra and squash is a reference to our own garden—we lost our squash to a bunch of annoying bugs, but the okra's doing incredibly well, and since Mom won't touch the plants (because they do eat you up) Dad has to pick it. In other news, we've gotten quite a few aircraft buzzing low over our garden—Mom is of the opinion this is because tomato and okra plants bear a passing resemblance to marijuana plants.

In other news: that moment of Maxwellian snark cost me a few brain cells as I worked to recall high-school English class. X| "The magnificent Maxwell" is how I usually have him introduce himself, and references the Don't Starve/Great Gatsby story I did a few years back. Self-promotion for the win! :)

Movies this week are Rear Window and The Three Faces of Eve:

Rear Window – we were channel-hopping one day waiting for breakfast (Dad always serves it to us in bed on the weekends :D) when Mom came across this movie and I realized I recognized it. This Alfred Hitchcock movie is what inspired the Shia LeBeouf film Disturbia, and helps me to understand just why Skulduggery Pleasant has a crush on Grace Kelly (said flat-out in the Playing With Fire book). We started watching it because of it being the film that inspired Disturbia (which we liked) and stayed because we were honestly hooked—Hitchcock does a marvelous job of keeping everyone guessing, because the storyline isn't resolved until the last five minutes and no body is ever shown. An excellent movie, and one I'm going to watch again. :D

The Three Faces of Eve – this came on right after Rear Window on the channel we were watching, and is very interesting if you like Yu-Gi-Oh! Permit me to explain: the main character, Eve, has multiple personality disorder, which is triggered by a traumatic event and results in more than one personality in the body. The one personality is aware of what the other is doing, but not the other way around, and the one at the disadvantage experiences blackouts when the other personality takes over. Sound familiar? It's a wonder no one ever sent Yugi or Bakura to a psychiatrist (but then I'm sure the Shadow Realm has enough of those).

Angiembabe, thanks for the review! I did! I hope your holiday was enjoyable too. :D It does—and this is true. She's not ready to commit. D: Actually, depending on the colors, a paisley skirt can actually be pretty striking. Yes…I suppose ignorance is bliss here. Ah, see, you said it and tempted Murphy's Law….Yami first needs the means to make such a portal—hence second reason why Anzu and Yuki are off to the library. :D

Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes….This is true. And this is true—it's a universal parent thing (Atem's parents: "Slow that chariot down! You'll break something!"). Same here—I had no time this summer from everything that was going on. XP So long as you stay abreast of the topics….It does—and Mom pulls it off just fine, so I have some hope. :D

FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! That's okay—I apologize for the late chapter. ^^; You did. :D I'm glad you're liking the snippets—it's tempting to just go off on tangents and explain things in detail, but I know that annoys me when I encounter it in stories, so I try not to do it. A side thing that does it sounds like a good idea though—I'll do that. :D Yes! Ghastly may be a sight, but at least he makes sense! Yes! Or at least slow him down-*looks down* "What's wrong with my tie?" *paf!* Eh…recently it's been for more practical purposes, but Administrator Carter is one of those fellas that need constant distraction, mostly because they can be downright nasty when left to their own devices (tormenting people for entertainment? Seems legit to Maxwell, who in his own canon traps random saps in the Shadowlands). No they cannot, although some parental assistance could be useful right about now….

References:

Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)

"Well that was nice."

"Nice, yes," Teana noised as they drove back to the Pleasant's house. "I notice you didn't let me look at the receipt."

"I told you, it was a gift," Yami insisted, waving her concerns away. "And you're not supposed to know how much a gift costs. That's looking a gift horse in the mouth, isn't it?"

"Dear me, I'm glad Idgy isn't this particular about the gifts I get her," Skulduggery said.

"You just keep driving," Teana said.

"I will," Skulduggery said brightly. "Because this is my car, and I do so very much love this car. And she loves me—don't you girl?"

Teana did a slow take to Yami, tipped her head to indicate Skulduggery.

"I saw that," Skulduggery said.

"Skulduggery likes his car," Yami said.

"No I do not. To say I like my car is to intimate that I employ the same level of enjoyment that I give a nice breeze, or seeing an Administrator trip on a crack. I love my car with the same amount of love I give my wife."

"Idgy's okay with sharing him, apparently."

"It helps that she loves this car too."

"Isn't the only other car in town the one Heph and Vul drive?" Teana asked. "It's not like there's any competition."

"You're right, there isn't," Skulduggery said, driving into the garage. "Because this car is at the top of the automotive food chain."

"Please tell me we're done," Teana said to Yami.

"We may have to have Skul chauffer us again to pick up your clothes," Yami admitted sheepishly.

Teana sighed, slid out of the door Skulduggery opened for her, watched as Yami got out and shut the door, followed Skulduggery into the house.

"Honey, we're home!" Skulduggery said, sticking his head into the living room. "Abandoned homework—backyard."

"So that's why you made detective," Teana observed drily.

"It's a gift," Skulduggery sighed, going out the open back door and into the yard, where indeed Idgy and Jack were puttering around a garden—Teana glanced back at Yami, who indicated that they follow.

Teana was immediately accosted by Idgy upon stepping out and embraced in a tight hug.

"Oh, thank you," she said, kissing her on the cheek. "Thank you thank you thank you—that subject is evil."

"I'm guessing Skulduggery told you about that thought he had," Teana sighed, trying to peel Idgy off.

"He did. And I'm not letting go unless you agree. I'm a desperate woman."

"Fine, fine…."

"Perfect!" Idgy said, letting go. "You want to stay for lunch? We have squash. Oh hon, ratatouille's for dinner."

"We must have a lot of squash," Skulduggery said, looking at the offending plants.

"And you need to pick okra. It eats me alive," Idgy said to Teana.

"Oh good for me."

"Dad, Dad, I put some spiders on the squash to eat the bugs sucking on them—Mom says they're eating the roots," Jack said, running up to Skulduggery.

"Oh good for the spiders—and I see you found more, besides."

"How good are you with spiders?" Idgy asked Teana.

"Why?" Teana asked.

"In other news, Miss Teana will be teaching you algebra from now on," Skulduggery said, pointing at her.

Jack looked at her before running over.

"Is it going to be less boring?" he asked her.

"Hopefully," Teana said, fairly certain she saw something move in his tawny brown hair.

"Can my friends come?"

"I thought it was just him," Teana said to Idgy.

"Jack's friends are much smaller," Idgy said. "And eight-legged."

"Except for Joe," Jack said, fishing around his shirt before coming up with a spider that handily fit in his palm. "He only has seven, see?"

Teana was fairly certain she was pressed up against Yami at the moment, and that Yami saw no issue with this. "Uh…they won't need to come," she squeaked.

"Why not?"

"Uh…spiders don't use algebra."

"They use geometry and trig," Yami said.

"Not helping."

"We'll be spider-less for the lesson," Idgy said, shooing Jack away. "Now go put your friends back and get cleaned up for lunch. I'll be back."

"We're hoping it's a phase," Skulduggery said, scratching his ear as he came over.

"What, the spiders?" Teana asked. "That's a boy thing, isn't it? Fascination with bugs and all that?"

"Spiders are arachnids," Yami pointed out.

"Not helping."

"Hopefully—the way he talks, he can hear the blasted things," Skulduggery said, making sure Jack was out of earshot before continuing. "Personally, I'm glad we're here rather than my old stomping grounds—if he ever heard about the Children of the Spider, that'd be that. I mean, we love him dearly, and would support him in whatever he wants to pursue—within law-abiding reason, of course—but turning into a giant spider is pushing it."

Teana took a few moments to process that. "Please," she said finally. "Tell me that wherever you used to live is far away from here."

"Across the pond, actually. The big pond, the one that no amount of ducks could carry away. Good thing on the distance too—the way they transform is all sorts of nasty. And the women keep spiders in their bodies, like a giant…spider-hive…thing."

Teana felt faint.

Which was about the time Idgy came back with Jack and a pan of veggies in tow.

"So!" she said brightly. "Who's hungry?"

*\*/*

It was several moments later and a sober observation of the roped-off location of Administrator Mesthil's death before they managed to find an aisle that might have had what they were looking for.

"Portals, apertures," Anzu muttered, fingering the books as she read the titles. "What are we looking for, exactly?"

"Something that makes a big portal," Yuki said, opening a book about moon rocks and glancing through it before putting it back—how one would get rocks from the moon was beyond her. "Because…well…."

Anzu could guess what that well encompassed. "And then what? It's not like we could check it out of the library—we just chased off the only attendant."

"I can say it's for school. Hopefully," Yuki said, although he looked and sounded like he didn't fully believe it.

Anzu took a deep breath, tried to think positive.

"Okay then," she said. "So we can probably rule out…I don't know, portals that stay in one dimension. Inter-dimensional portals, maybe," she added, glancing along the shelves. Stocked full of books with words and terms foreign to her—hopeless suddenly occurred to her. "Why isn't Yami here looking for it?"

Yuki bit his lip. "Um…Dad…kind of banned him from the Administration Building."

"Do what?"

"Well…he figured that Yami would be wanting to go to the Administration Library…and get into some books above his station…and if he was caught, he'd get into trouble…."

Anzu suddenly had some idea how the page from earlier felt: like all the blood suddenly abandoned her body.

They literally had no excuse for being here.

She glanced at the shelves opposite them before directing Yuki. "Go around, see if this is the only shelf—the sooner we're out of here, the better."

Yuki nodded, dashed off as Anzu quickly fingered through the books. She had no idea what she was looking for or even what she would do if she found something that might be it—panic was starting to well up in her stomach, and it occurred to her that she might miss something in her haste—

"Say, pal, you don't look so good."

She screamed, nearly climbed up the shelves in her haste to put some distance between herself and the guy she was spinning to face—

And then cricking her neck to look him in the eye. Good gravy, he was tall.

And a little surprised to see her, if his expression was any indication. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"I…what?" she asked, scrambling for a precious few seconds to compose herself.

Except her response apparently prompted a half-lidded stare from the guy. "Well, let me repeat myself and break it down for you: what, adverb; are, verb; you, subject, meaning the person in front of me; doing, verb; here, adverb, meaning location, meaning in front of me, in the Administration Library, which last I checked, was closed. Or did you miss the little rope in the front there?"

Anzu decided right then and there that she didn't like this guy. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

That—apparently confirmed something for him; his expression shifted subtly as he rocked back on his heels and hooked a hand on his lapel, the other on his hip.

"Me? I am the magnificent Maxwell, although most pundits call me Administrator Carter."

Oop.

"Oh, that one you heard of," he said, tipping his head and grinning in a way that struck her as vicious. "Say, maybe you can tell me who's been tossing my name at pages today—I prefer to actually be doing the things I'm getting blamed for."

"I…wouldn't know," she hedged.

"I see. And your reason for being here, do you know that? What are you, morbid and want to see the crime scene?"

Quick—at least try one of your excuses! "I'm…looking for a book doctor."

"Uh-huh. Did you miss the part where the library was closed?"

"I work for the Delvaire Public Library. And obviously I did, otherwise I'd still be there instead of here on a wild goose chase." In every sense of the term.

"So you're here, by yourself, looking for a book doctor," he confirmed, rocking back on his heels before leaning forward—she smelled cigar smoke, and noted uncomfortably that up close, his hooded eyes actually looked dark with pale irises. "Is that your final answer?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment and trying her very best not to lean away from him—there was just something about him that was…off-putting, beyond the fact that he was an Administrator—

And had known Skellington.

Had he helped the Boogie Mage last night?

And then he was rocking backward again, giving her her much-needed personal space back; she resisted heaving a sigh of relief.

"Right," he drawled, thumbs hooked in his belt loops. "One moment."

And then suddenly he was gone, with such immediacy that she yelped in alarm—like he had just dropped right out of existence.

And then someone else yelped too—

And then Administrator Carter was rounding the corner, one hand firmly gripped on the back of Yuki's neck.

"Let me guess: this is your little helper?" Administrator Carter asked, quickly swinging from a jovial tone to an aggravated one within the space of a single sentence. "Both of you: out. Out of this library, and out of this building."

Anzu started to move—

Administrator Carter's hand was suddenly on her shoulder.

"Nah-ah," he noised, shaking his head sagely. "This is the sort of thing I prefer to make sure of."

And then suddenly they were falling into blackness.