Lean on Me Ch. 5: Are you-?
"Mao Mao?" Badgerclops began, quietly. "Are you... sick?"
The question felt stupid rolling off the edge of Badgerclops' tongue and, for a second, he considered forgoing the mention of it. Surely, it would've been a whole lot more obvious if Mao Mao had been sick. That is, until he registered the fact that Mao Mao's body immediately tensed the instance in which the inquiry left Badgerclops' mouth, the feline's green eyes flickering to the floor and back to Badgerclops' face. Stiffly, as if the cat was forcing himself to, Mao Mao gave him a crooked smile.
"What?" Mao Mao squawked, offensively, waving off Badgerclops' suggestion. "Of course not."
Badgerclops gave him a blank look, his face slipping into a deadpan. Even someone who didn't even know Mao Mao well enough could've easily been able to tell that the feline was lying through his teeth.
"Mao, come on," Badgerclops continued. "I know something's up with you."
This time, Mao Mao flinched, as if Badgerclops had slapped him, and he pressed his lips into a thin line. The expression distinctly reminded Badgerclops of Adorabat. It was the same look the young bat would make whenever she obviously did something wrong and refused to tell anyone what exactly it was that she did.
"There's nothing 'up' with me, Badgerclops." Mao Mao muttered, darkly. His tone suggested that he was starting to get fed-up with the topic of their conversation. "I'm just-"
"You're just – what?" Badgerclops inquired, raising a brow.
Unsurprisingly, Mao Mao didn't reply. Instead, he looked away, and he crossed his trembling arms close to his chest.
Badgerclops scowled at this development because, honestly, what should he have expected from Mao Mao? They were in their current position because the cat wanted to be stubborn and ignore the needs of his body. Then, an idea formed within his mind, and Badgerclops wasted no time pulling the still opened first aid kit into his lap. As he fished through its contents, he could feel Mao Mao's curious stare burning into his side, the feline craning his neck to try and see what he was up to. After a few seconds of fruitlessly searching in the dim light, Badgerclops eventually found what he was looking for, and he plucked it out.
It was a thermometer.
It was a small blue-and-white plastic stick with two buttons on the side, and it just so happened to be the thing that Badgerclops needed.
He turned back around to address Mao Mao, and he was unsurprised to see the cat's green eyes narrow once they landed upon the thermometer. "Seriously?" Mao Mao asked, his voice still raspy from his coughing fit.
"Seriously, man," Badgerclops echoed, sarcastically, using the device to point at the feline. "Now, open your mouth."
Mao Mao did the exact opposite of his demand.
Mao Mao pressed himself against the cushions of the couch, backing away from the cybernetic badger as if he held a sharp knife. If that wasn't enough, Mao Mao closed his mouth, and he clenched his jaw.
Badgerclops rolled his eye, and he brought the stick closer to the retreating cat. "Look, Mao. If you're not sick like you say, then you have nothing to fear by using this."
Mao Mao sat there for a moment, silently digesting Badgerclops' words. Then, he reluctantly held his hand out. When Badgerclops rose a confused brow, Mao Mao huffed. "I'm capable of doing it myself," he stated.
Badgerclops frowned, but, nevertheless, he complied. Mao Mao wasn't completely resisting him, so he didn't really have a reason to deny him. He plopped the thermometer in Mao Mao's awaiting gloved hand, eying the feline for any sort of suspicious activity. Slowly, Mao Mao opened his mouth, and he placed the device underneath his tongue. Once it became obvious that the feline wasn't going to spit out the thermometer, Badgerclops sat back and waited for the result.
Not that he didn't already have an idea.
After about a minute, the thermometer beeped, the shrill noise slicing through the silence of the room and startling both of them. Specifically, Mao Mao who seemed as if he'd drifted off for a bit. Badgerclops took advantage of that fact, and he snatched the device out of Mao Mao's mouth. Mao Mao glared at him for it, but he ignored it in favor of studying the screen of the thermometer. The screen glowed a pleasant shade of blue as Badgerclops stared at the numbers.
He winced. "Wow, Mao. I guess you're not sick," he shoved the thermometer in Mao Mao's face. "Because healthy people totally run a temperature of 102."
Mao Mao squinted at the screen – the bright light probably burning his eyes – before he promptly snatched the thermometer from Badgerclops' hand. Badgerclops watched, unimpressed, as Mao Mao tossed it back into the first aid kit.
"Come on, Mao. Your secret's already out," Mao Mao ignored him. "Just talk to me, okay? The quicker we have this conversation, the quicker the both of us can go to bed."
He made a point to put emphasis on the last part of his sentence. Mao Mao didn't seem to notice, nor did he reply, but Badgerclops assumed that he agreed, and he continued their somewhat one-sided conversation. "Can you at least tell me how long you've been sick? Because I think we both know that it didn't suddenly start today."
Mao Mao looked up at Badgerclops – this close, the cybernetic badger was able to tell how haggard the cat appeared – but he didn't say a word. The fact that Mao Mao – the guy who always seemed to be talking – refused to say anything, unnerved Badgerclops.
"Come on, Mao Mao~," Badgerclops sang, smiling knowingly. "Tell me."
Mao Mao scowled at him.
They used this exact tactic on Adorabat whenever she refused to tell them something. The idea was to lean against Adorabat until they were practically squishing her. The action always proved victorious in causing her to lose her resolve. And, since it usually worked on her, why would it not now?
"I'm not going to leave you alone until you tell me~" Badgerclops pressed, leaning ever closer.
Mao Mao twisted his head to the side, trying and failing to ignore the cybernetic badger. Badgerclops took that as a reason to creep even closer, and he could feel Mao Mao tensing up in response.
"Mao-"
"... days," Mao Mao murmured. It was the quietest that Badgerclops could recall Mao Mao speaking.
"What?" He inquired.
Mao Mao sighed, annoyed. "3 days," he finally said, his voice low.
Badgerclops was glad Mao Mao couldn't see his jaw almost hit the ground.
3 days?
Mao Mao had been ill for 3 whole days, and Badgerclops just noticed it now? He usually prided himself on being one of the few people that could read and deal with Mao Mao. The cat has a track record of not letting a lot of people in, and it took a couple of years for Mao Mao to fully trust him enough to tell him some of his insecurities. So, how come he didn't see it until now?
Maybe, it was because Mao Mao wasn't usually this good at hiding it.
Mao Mao was a notoriously bad liar; that was just a basic fact. Whether it had to with him being raised in a heroic family, or Badgerclops rolling with a group of lying thieves for an extended period, he didn't know. Either way, Badgerclops could always tell when Mao Mao was lying about something. Heck, the last time Mao Mao was sick, the cat spent the entire day hacking. But, this time, there was none of that. And, it made Badgerclops upset to think that he was oblivious to it.
What if he noticed it sooner? Could he have prevented Mao Mao from nearly getting his leg torn off-?
He immediately derailed that thought.
"Why didn't tell me?" Badgerclops asked, instead. "I mean, you know, that I got your back and everything, right?"
Mao Mao scowled. "I'm not obligated to tell you how I feel."
"Uh," Badgerclops stared at Mao Mao, incredulously. "It's called being friends. You tell your friends that you're sick, and they help you."
Mao Mao pursed his lips.
Badgerclops took that as his cue to continue. "You felt sick during the fight earlier, didn't you?" Mao Mao didn't answer. "You do realize all of this could have been avoided if you told me that you were sick. I mean, we've been friends for a while now, and I like to think that we can trust each other."
Mao Mao blinked up at him, brows furrowed. "I do trust you."
"Then, why not tell me?" Badgerclops leaned against the back of the couch. "Instead, you wear yourself down and nearly get killed in an easy fight. And, I bet if I hadn't woken up and caught you outside, you wouldn't have even told me you were sick. Am I right?"
Mao Mao opened his mouth - as if he was about to object to Badgerclops' statement - and closed it just as quickly, an almost sheepish look on his face.
Badgerclops sighed. "That doesn't sound like trust to me."
The truth be told, Badgerclops wasn't too upset by Mao Mao's lack of trust in him. From what he heard about the cat's partnership between Bao Bao and Tanya, things never ended well. Bao Bao left Mao Mao alone in a painful situation, and Tanya left because she and Mao Mao didn't see eye-to-eye. Maybe, Mao Mao thought Badgerclops would be the same; suddenly outgrow him and leave him behind when he needs someone the most.
"It's not-'' Mao Mao cleared his throat. "It's not like that, Badgerclops."
Badgerclops' eye fell upon the stained bandages lying dejectedly on the wooden floorboards. "Then, tell me what's up with you, dude. And, I swear I won't judge you for it."
Mao Mao's only response was to hunch in on himself, his signature cape hugging his frame. Badgerclops thought it made him look smaller than he already was.
"Mao Mao-"
"I couldn't tell you guys."
Badgerclops crossed his arms. "Couldn't, or didn't want to?"
Mao Mao sighed, clenching his fists in his lap. "You don't understand, Badgerclops."
The cybernetic badger rose a hand, contemplating whether he should lay it on Mao Mao's shaking shoulder before he thought better of it. "Then, help me understand, man."
Mao Mao bit his bottom lip, and he breathed in through his nose as if he'd been steeling himself to do something big. Badgerclops sat back and waited for him to speak. At times like these, he knew it was better to let Mao Mao speak on his own terms.
"I-I can't be sick," Mao Mao stuttered out in a matter-of-fact tone. He said it like it was some sort of common knowledge that Badgerclops should've already known. "I just can't be."
This conversation felt like it was going in a familiar direction.
"Dude," Badgerclops began. "Didn't we already have this exact conversation?"
Mao Mao had caught a nasty cold just a few short months ago. Even then, he'd demanded the entire day that he hadn't been sick, and all that did was worsen his cold. Eventually, it had gotten to the point that Mao Mao was one swing of his sword away from killing himself. After the battle with the ice dragon, Badgerclops and Adorabat just barely got the feline to take a break. Yet, it now seemed all that convincing had come undone. The question is: why?
Actually-
Now that Badgerclops really thought about it, they never really did talk about it. Yes, he and Adorabat did get Mao Mao to slow down and take a break but, beyond that, they never really got the cat to agree with them. Mao Mao rested alongside them, and the moment that he felt better, he was back to protecting the valley. The conversation that should've taken place never did. It was one thing to tell Mao Mao that it was okay to be sick, but it was a completely different thing to making sure that the feline understood the implications behind it.
"That was different," Mao Mao stated, hotly.
Badgerclops rose a brow. "So? Adorabat and I told you it was okay to be sick, Mao. And, we meant it."
"It's not that simple," Mao Mao hissed. It was obvious that he was getting increasingly aggravated with their topic of choice again.
"And, why not?"
"Because, Badgerclops, a hero can't-'' Mao Mao's breath hitched for a second, and Badgerclops feared that he would break out into another coughing fit. The reason for the cat's sudden breathlessness during the battle earlier suddenly made a lot of sense. Somehow, Mao Mao managed to swallow the urge, and he continued like nothing happened. "Can't be sick. They just can't."
Badgerclops leaned forward. "Because… ?"
"Because they'll be weak," Mao Mao said, hoarsely, staring at Badgerclops. "And, I can't be weak."
Badgerclops' eye widened. That particular sentence triggered a dominant memory in the back of his mind.
Mao Mao had said the same thing all those months ago. Badgerclops hadn't taken the statement seriously at the time - how could he with the way Mao Mao was stumbling all over the place in a fevered haze. But now, sitting here staring at Mao Mao's bloody bandages and feeling the heat pouring off the cat, Badgerclops knew Mao Mao really meant it.
He knew from experience that Mao Mao absolutely disliked sitting on the sidelines. The feline fancied being in the middle of all the action, leading the charge - not watching it from afar. Badgerclops assumed it made him feel useless; like he was just some broken toy no one wanted to play with. So, in Mao Mao's weird little mind, he thought that by hiding his illness, he would somehow avoid that scenario altogether. Although, that still didn't explain why Mao Mao felt that way.
"Dude," Badgerclops started, carefully. "Where is all of this coming from?"
Mao Mao scrunched up his nose. It was hard to tell whether he didn't understand what Badgerclops just said to him, or how to reply to him.
"Hey, man-"
"It's, uh," Mao Mao grumbled. "My family."
If this was several years ago - back when he first met Mao Mao - Badgerclops might've been a little perplexed by that statement. Now, he gestured for Mao Mao to finish his thought.
Mao Mao licked his lips. "For a while now, it's been an unspoken rule that no one is allowed to get sick. Not my dad; not my sisters; and not me. The only one exempt from that rule is-" he looked down at his gloved hands. "My mom."