Heyo!! I know it's been a while since I updated! I apologize. Real life has been hectic, to say the least. I'm back now though! That being said, I'd love it if anyone would be open to proof reading my chapters before they're posted. The more the merrier, so feel free to let me know if you're interested in helping a girl out. Now, thank you for continuing the story! Read on!!
A cough erupted from my lips, causing me to jolt upright in the bed. The first cough led to another cough, which led to another cough, which, in turn, put me in a coughing fit. Voices guided me as I struggled to breathe. Sit up straight. Deep breaths. Hold the mask tightly. I put a hand over the one that was holding the oxygen mask to my face. Another gentle hand on my back helped me sit up straight. After I was able to get a few deep breaths in, the coughing subsided. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking against the brightness of the medbay. I saw Obi-Wan sitting next to me holding my face mask and resting his other hand on my back.
"Just a few more deep breaths, Commander." A new voice said from next to Obi-Wan. My eyebrows furrowed and I looked over to him.
"Oh, Kix, for now, just Kemara." Obi-Wan told him as I struggled to get the mask off my face. Obi-Wan held it securely in place. "Three more, Kemara." I slumped slightly, much to the displeasure of Obi-Wan. He tapped a single finger on my back and reminded me to sit up as I took my breaths. I obliged, but slumped again after the mask had come off. "Kemara..." He said it in a tone. I'm sure I'd heard it before.
"Where's Anakin?" My throat was raw and my voice was hoarse. I put a hand up to my throat and winced as I swallowed.
"Kix, could she get some water, please?" Obi-Wan asked. I didn't care about water for me, I cared about the man I'd pulled out of the burning apartment. I pled with Obi-Wan for an answer with my eyes. He sighed. "He's alright." He nodded towards something on my other side. I turned slowly to see Anakin in a bed next to mine. He wore an oxygen mask as well, along with a few bandages wrapped around his forehead, chest, and his left arm. My eyebrows furrowed. "Here, drink this." Obi-Wan offered, tapping his finger on my back again to get my attention. I looked back to him and held my hand out for the cup, murmuring a small thank you as I looked at the foot of my bed and sipped on it. The water felt like bliss going down my throat. This was my fault. If I hadn't ran, then Obi-Wan could have stayed to help Anakin and he wouldn't be in that bed right there. "Kemara, I can sense your guilt. This is not your fault." I didn't look up to him.
"I should have trusted you two." It was barely above a whisper.
"You didn't know who you were and you didn't know us. You were scared, you felt alone. There is no shame in that." He explained. I furrowed my eyebrows and frowned as I looked up to him. He had a sympathetic smile, which relaxed me slightly. After a moment, he spoke again. "How are you feeling?" I nodded numbly. "Is it okay if we go to your quarters? Maybe being in a familiar place would help you remember something." I nodded again, not saying anything.
"Well, Kemara..." The man named Kix started. I looked up at him, forcing a very soft smile. He looked incredibly uncomfortable addressing me like that. "If you have any pain or discomfort in your chest or feel lightheaded or nauseous, find your way back down here and I'll get you taken care of." Obi-Wan helped me up as Kix listed symptoms.
"Thank you.. uh, Kix." I responded, just as uncomfortable. I turned back to follow Obi-Wan and gulped. As we were walking down the hall, we saw a few more men in those white uniforms. Some with helmets, some without. "Are they- uh, all-"
"Clones? Yes." Obi-Wan interjected, obviously picking up on how uncomfortable I was.
"How-" Once again, I was cut off. This time by the clone I saw in the alley. The one in yellow.
"General Kenobi, we are underway. We should arrive at Coruscant at 0500." General? 0500? What's with all the military terms?
"Thank you, Cody." He saluted and continued on his way, nodding to me as he passed. I looked back at him and watched him walk, confused. "Kemara." I heard Obi-Wan call to me. I looked the other way to see Obi-Wan halfway down the corridor. I ran to catch up, taking up step beside him again. Before I could ask what the deal was, he gestured to a door.
"It's mine?" I asked, looking at him then to the door.
"Yes. Go ahead." I took a deep breath at his words, holding it for a moment as I opened the door. I exhaled as I stepped into the room. It was... plain. Just a bed and desk with a couple data pads. I slowly made my way to the desk, reaching out the data pads. My hand wavered, pulling back slightly.
"Are these... mine?" A stupid question. They were in my room so they most likely were. I think I was just trying to stall, unsure of the emotions it would bring.
"Don't be scared, Kemara. I'm here if you need me." Obi-Wan said, stepping into the room. I bit my lip and reached forward, grasping the device.
"You know, you probably could've been a Knight by now." It was Anakin's voice. I looked over and he was sitting on the bed.
"Thanks for reminding me." I scoffed and sat on the chair in front of my desk, picking up the data pad. I scrolled through, looking over the Jedi Code before looking back to him with a sigh.
"I didn't mean it as a jab." He said softly after a moment, leaning forward. I set the data pad back down.
"I know." I put my head in my hands and rubbed my face. "And you're right. I screwed up."
I gasped as I came back to reality, the vision over. I looked down at the data pad. Words came on the screen as it powered up. The Jedi Code.
"Kemara, what did you see?" Obi-Wan asked from behind me. I looked over to the empty bed.
"Anakin was in here..." My voice was barely above a whisper. "We were talking about me messing up my Knighting." I said a little louder. Obi-Wan let out a sigh and sat on the bed.
"It wasn't your fault." I blinked at his words.
"What did I do?" I moved to sit on the side of the desk, watching him carefully. Not really sure how, I could feel the regret in him.
"It's not what you did. It's what I did. Your reaction to it is what the Council didn't like." He lowered his head slightly as he talked. I furrowed my eyebrows and gripped the sides of the desk, letting my shoulders slump slightly. I didn't say anything. I figured he'd talk when he was ready. It took him a moment, but he continued. "When I was still a Padawan, my master and I found you in the slums of Coruscant. We felt your connection to the Force. To us. We knew we had to take you in."
"Where did I come from?" I questioned when he paused.
"We didn't know. There was a note in the backpack you had saying you needed better care than the people that had you could give you. That you were meant for more." I frowned.
"They- abandoned me?" I couldn't stop the stinging in my eyes.
"Not exactly..." He said, looking up at me. "By the time we got you back to the Temple, it was very clear why they had left you for us to find. Your Force abilities were very strong..." He laughed and looked down again. "And your other powers as well."
"You mean, what I did in the alley?" Obi-Wan nodded.
"Yes. You actually froze the inner circuits of my lightsaber. It took me 2 whole days to figure out what was wrong." He let out a small chuckle and my frown faded slightly. I relaxed a little more sensing his own unease fade. "A few years later, you had been assigned a master and had been training under him during your time at the Temple. About a year before we had found Anakin, evidence came to light about your past. Where you came from. I was told to keep it from you."
"From who? Where did it come from? Why did they want to keep me in the dark? Did you keep it from me?" I blurted out the questions, watching his gaze fall to the floor even lower.
"The Council feared what you would do if you knew the truth. We don't know where the information came from. We found it on a data pad in a bag that was left on the Temple steps. Nothing to indicate who left it." He paused but looked up to me again. "It said the Sith was your brother. The one who you saw in the alley."
"He was a Sith? Is he the one-" My voice cracked, thinking back to when I walked into the apartment and found the cloth sitting in the corner. I ducked my head and bit my lower lip.
"What is it? Do you remember something?" He got up from the bed and I saw his boots come into view on the floor in front of me, along with feeling a hand on my shoulder. I nodded slowly, but didn't dare bring my head up. I didn't want him to see the tears in my eyes.
"In that apartment, the one where you guys found me, there was a cloth..." I stopped to take a breath, feeling myself freak out.
"Feel it. Feel your emotions and let them pass over you, but only pass over you. Don't hold on to them." Obi-Wan advised. I nodded quickly and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to feel them, but then let go. It worked, at least for a little bit.
"I saw him. I was there. In that apartment. He kept me there." I couldn't help from getting worked up. "He killed someone because of me." I ground out, looking up at Obi-Wan. He squeezed my shoulder.
"It was not your fault. He killed that person, not you." I dropped my head again, squeezing my eyes shut, letting my tears fall. I heeded his words, taking a deep breath. "Good. Your emotions don't control you. You control your emotions." I nodded slowly as I let the fear pass over me, knowing I was safe with Obi-Wan. I realized my hands were gripping the desk tightly, so I let them go, only to feel my hands stick to them. I looked down to my hand to see ice around my fingers on the desk. Wrenching them free, I hopped off the desk and quickly took a step back from the desk.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" Obi-Wan took a step forward.
"Kemara, relax. It's okay. You are receiving a lot of new information, most of which is confusing and probably frightening." I nodded slowly, working through to calm myself down again. "Good. You always were good at calming yourself down." I sniffled before letting a small smile grace my lips.
"So what did I do that the Council didn't like?" I asked, trying to get the rest of the story out of him. He sighed, moving back to sit on the bed. I held my arms close to me, hugging myself, careful not to touch anything.
"Well, several years after we found out, I let it slip to Anakin. He insisted that we tell you, but I told him it was against the will of the Council. He wasn't happy. I'm still not sure how you found out. Anakin swore he never told you. I believed him. After you discovered we'd been lying to you, naturally, you felt betrayed." He felt alone, hurt, shameful. All the things I felt while running around on Nar Shaddaa. He paused, so I moved to sit next to him on the bed, careful not to make physical contact with him, yet close enough to know I wasn't leaving. "After an extended mission to Mon Calamari to keep the peace between the Quarren and the Mon Cala, you decided you needed time before returning to the Order."
"How long was I gone?"
"Over a year." Neither of us moved our gaze from the floor.
"I'm sorry I don't remember..." Obi-Wan let out a sigh.
"We'll figure it out. Don't worry." He said softly. I felt a pain run through my chest. I let out a small gasp and pressed a hand to my chest, doubling over. "Kemara!" Obi-Wan grabbed my arm. It quickly subsided.
"I'm okay. It's not me. I think it's Anakin." I said standing up and heading for the door. Obi-Wan was right behind me. Clones stepped to the side to let us pass as we ran down the hall. We arrived at med-bay and looked around. Kix was standing over an unconscious Anakin, an injector in his hand.
"Sorry, sirs. He was in too much pain, demanding to see the Comman-ah, Kemara." A pang of guilt ran through me. I lowered my gaze to the ground, furrowing my eyebrows.
"Excuse me, General. The Council requests you contact them immediately." A voice said from behind us. I turned around to see the one named Cody standing there. Obi-Wan turned as well.
"Thank you, Cody. I'll be there in a moment." Again, Cody nodded to me before turning to leave. Obi-Wan let out a sigh.
"I'll stay with Anakin. You can go talk to the Council." I said softly, looking up to him. Obi-Wan pressed his lips together and gave a tight nod. Without saying anything, he turned and walked out, the door sliding closed behind him. I took a tentative step forward, not moving my eyes from Anakin's prone form. I stood by his bedside, studying his face. He seemed at peace, despite the oxygen mask on his face. Not at all worried or scared or angry like he was in the alley. Despite not remembering him at all, I felt a connection.
"Do you remember him?" The clone Kix asked. I looked up and realized I'd been too lost in thought to see him move to the other side of the bed, checking Anakin's vitals on a data pad. I also didn't even realize I'd put my hand in his. Shaking my head softly, I answered him as I looked back down to Anakin's face.
"No... but I know I care about him." I let my gaze wander up to Kix. "Do you know when he'll wake up?"
"Shouldn't be long at all, Command-er, Kemara. Sorry." I frowned at his unease.
"I'm your Commander?"
"Ehr, not mine, but the 212th's. You're one of their commanding officers. Commander Cody is yours and General Kenobi's second-in-command. I'm one of the 501st's, or General Skywalker's, medics." I nodded, trying to process all the new information.
"You can call me Commander, if you want. You seem uncomfortable calling me Kemara." I offered. He let out a short chuckle.
"Thank you, Commander. No offense, but I was." He walked away with a smile. I sat on the edge of Anakin's bed, going through my head, trying to figure out why we were so close. My mind just kept replaying the way he introduced the two of them. The way he felt hurt when I didn't recognize them. Another pang of guilt fluttered through me as I realized we have years of history, and I can't relate to them anymore. Not a single one. When I thought back to how he tried to stun me, I pulled my hand away from his. His fingers tightening around mine made me freeze.
"Kemara." He groaned.
"Kix." I called out in a hushed voice, looking up to find him already on his way over.
"General Skywalker, how are you feeling? I upped your pain medication and will increase the rate of your bacta treatments." Kix talked to him from the other side of the bed.
"I'm fine, Kix." Anakin deadpanned. Then, he winced as he tried to adjust himself in the bed, which led to a cough, and that to a coughing fit.
"Yes, totally fine." I rolled my eyes as we helped him sit up and get the coughs under control. He seemed to realize that he was still holding my hand and gently let go.
"Still sarcastic as ever." He said offhandedly through his mask. I bit my lower lip and stepped back from the bed, furrowing my eyebrows. I didn't want to get too familiar with him too fast. Even if we had been best friends before I lost my memory. His gaze lowered as he realized I'd backed away. He brought his hand up and took his mask off, much to the displeasure of Kix.
"Sir-" He had started, but Anakin cut him off.
"Kix, I'm good." His voice was a bit raspy. I walked around the bed and got a cup of water poured for him. I turned back and brought the water and handed it to him gently. "Thank you, Kemara." I gave him a half smile and nod. It was weird, hearing a name that meant nothing to me. No recognition at all. I took a deep breath and sat down on the bed next to Anakin's. Kix started listing off symptoms, asking Anakin if he had any of them. Anakin, obviously just going through the motions and not paying attention, said no to all of them. Then, Kix said chest pain. And Anakin sighed. "Yes." He begrudged. Kix gave him a smirk.
"Confined to bed rest until we reach Coruscant!" Kix exclaimed as he turned around and walked away while pointing a finger in the air. I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows with a tight lipped smile.
"Kix..." Anakin groaned, but I saw the wince.
"Orders!" He proclaimed as he left the medbay, finger still in the air. I lowered my gaze and let my smile fall a little.
"How are you?" His voice made me look up at him suddenly, unsure of what to say. I shrugged and hugged my arms to my chest, not crossing them though as I looked back down.
"I'm fine, I guess... I had a little smoke inhalation so my throat is sore, but I-"
"Kemara..." He didn't mean physically. I hesitated, biting my lip.
"I feel bad, not being able to remember. I know I shouldn't, unless it's my fault, but I don't remember if it is, so I can't say for certain-"
"Kemara.."
"Right, sorry." I visibly winced as I looked back up to him.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm sure Obi-Wan has told you already, but I'll say it again. None of this is your fault. If anything, it's my fault. I didn't protect you when that Sith attacked." There was a venom in his voice when he mentioned the Sith, but he was genuinely rueful.
"Attacked? Is that how I... forgot?" I questioned, unsure of how to word it.
"I don't know. It all happened so fast... I think the fight lasted less than a minute. There was an explosion... you tried to block it with your powers, but it was too big. We were wounded and he just... overpowered us." He explained slowly. "I came to and you were gone." He put his head down, obviously blaming himself. I didn't know him. Didn't know how to comfort him. I hugged myself a little tighter. The door slid open to reveal the other clone I saw in the alley. The one in blue. The one who tried to stun me. I furrowed my eyebrows slightly as I looked to the floor. "Rex."
"General." He responded with a head nod. "General Kenobi asked Cody and I to give the Commander a tour of the ship, try to see if she remembers anything." I looked back up to see Cody walk in when I heard the door slide open again. Kix followed.
"Rex." Kix started scolding, following Cody to the bedside. "Don't even think about trying to break the General out."
"Relax Kix, we're here to show the Commander around." Cody covered.
"Yeah, that's what you said last time too." Kix argued. Rex, Cody, and Anakin started laughing.
"He's got a point." Cody offered Rex.
"Yeah, yeah." Rex dismisses with a wave of his hands, obviously guilty of whatever they were talking about. Kix and Cody grinned.
"Commander, Captain Rex and I are here to show you around the ship. General Kenobi hopes you might remember something." Cody addressed me. I pushed my shoulders back and pressed my lips together, nodding.
"Maybe next time, Rex." Anakin said as the four of us that weren't in the bed turned to leave the room.
"Next time, General." Rex responded. The clones all snickered, obviously still amused about what happened last time. "See you around, Kix." Rex said as Kix waved and walked the opposite way as the three of us.
Thanks for reading, y'all! Be sure to drop those comments, questions, and concerns if you guys have any! I'll see you next time!
P.S.: You are all loved and appreciated more than you know. I know times are tough and there's a lot of hate in the world right now, but even if you feel like you are alone or no one loves you... I do!! And I always will.