"I hate this," Tonks said, folding her arms and pouting as she sat down.
Her arms could now rest on a tiny bump coming from her body which was weird, cool and lovely all at once. Mostly weird though. She had a bump coming out of her body that was holding another tiny human? How was that not weird? Actually, was it even person shaped at this point or was it just a blob?
"That could mean any number of things, my Nymph," Remus said, handing her a cup of mint tea (something she had grown to tolerate over the past few weeks because the nausea just wasn't going away).
My Nymph. He had started calling her that again. It must have been a year... no... longer since she last heard it. She had almost forgotten about it thanks to everything that had happened. She hadn't realised that she had missed it. She liked it. It was his name just for her. Just between him and her.
"So," he sat down next to her. "What do you hate?"
It was true, there were a lot of things to hate right now. The fact that her dad had gone on the run, and there hadn't been any word from him since then, the War in general (was kt even a war anymore?), the fact that she couldn't work. Her stomach gurgled and she quickly took a sip of her tea. Oh, and this pregnancy. Don't forget about her pregnancy.
Don't get her wrong, having a baby with Remus was good, it still freaked her out that they were going to be responsible for a child, but it was... good. Yeah, it still hadn't really sunk in yet for her despite the aforementioned bump. Was that weird? Like, why did her ankles ache when she wasn't even that fat yet? And don't forget about the stupid nausea, that was never not going to suck. Why did she always have to feel like she was going to throw up even when she wasn't going to throw up? Where was the sense in that?
Wait, there was a question she was supposed to be answering here. How did she get so lost in her own thoughts? Could she blame being pregnant on that? Was that a thing?
"I hate this sitting around and not being able to do anything," she finally gave as her reason.
Because that's what she had been thinking in the moment when she sat down - though, all those other thoughts were never too hard behind.
"Is that down to the current state of the country or because you're pregnant?"
Tonks' eyebrows furrowed. "State of the country. I hate that we can just react to things and not even very well. What do you mean because I'm pregnant?"
What did her being pregnant have to do with her not being able to do anything?
"Well," Remus began, looking like he was trying to think of the best way to reply which probably meant that she wasn't going to like his answer. "I mean, uh, from what I remember of Lily's pregnancy; you can't put your body through a lot of stress - it's bad for the baby. It's very sensitive to that sort of thing. I think. And, well, as the baby grows, you're not going to be able to move around the same way."
Which was the nice and polite way of saying that she was going to be massive and not be able to see her own feet and probably waddle everywhere. Fan-freaking-tactic. Was there anything good about being pregnant? And being promised a baby at the end of it didn't count as a good thing about currently being pregnant.
"Okay, that sucks too."
Remus let out a received breath that Tonks couldn't help but roll her eyes at. He probably thought that she was going to argue about doing things while pregnant but she wasn't stupid. She knew that when her stomach got larger it meant that she wouldn't be able to do as many things. She'd just have to cross that bridge when she came to it. As long as he suddenly didn't get stupidly overprotective of her then everything would be fine. Annoying and almost definitely frustrating but fine.
"Well, I also hate the current state the country is in," Remus said, frowning. "Especially since, like you said, we no longer know what's going on except for rumours and then articles after the fact which don't give us any details and are often late in reporting, like the whole thing about Death Eaters teaching at Hogwarts."
Which had been the focus of the last few Order meetings, mainly because there had been no further news about Hogwarts. Nothing even though two months had passed. It was like the new regime was trying to make it out to be as normal as possible.
"I wonder what's really going on at Hogwarts?" Tonks asked.
"Who knows?" said Remus. "It's not like Arthur or Molly have got much news from Ginny."
"There's no way that their post is not being watched."
A school being run by Death Eaters? With prominent Light families' children there? Having their post watched was probably the least of their worries. Not that Tonks wanted to think about what the worse things could be... no. She wasn't going to think like that. Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. Or else she'd spiral into a state where there would be no hope and, well, they had to have hope, didn't they?
"I hope they realise that and be careful."
"They're smart kids, Remus," Tonks pointed out. "I'm sure they've figured it out."
He nodded and then it was his turn to get lost in his thoughts. If he was anything like her, there were a lot of thoughts to sort through these days.
"Do you think that Godric's Hollow would be under watch?" Remus asked suddenly.
Tonks blinked at him. "What?"
"It's just that..." he trailed off.
"It's past Hallowe'en," Tonks finished gently, realising what he had been asking.
He gave her a sad smile. "Yes. I usually visit their graves on it but of course, this year..."
He didn't have to say who 'they' were. James and Lily. His best friends. Tonks didn't even want to think of the anguish he felt over their deaths. She used to not understand the feelings he had about surviving when they didn't. About the pain and loss, he felt. She had sympathised because of course she did but she hadn't known that sort of pain herself until the last year. And even then, she didn't think it really compared. Sure, they both shared Sirius' death (if you could share a person's death like that) and then for her, her close person had been Mad-Eye. But she still didn't think that compared to Remus losing all of his friends through death or betrayal. Was loss even comparable like that? Sue didn't think so. It all sucked, either way.
"I'm almost certain that they will be watched," Tonks said with a sigh. "Surely anything to do with Harry-?"
Remus sighed sadly and gave her hand a squeeze. "You're right. The whole area will probably be watched constantly. That why I didn't want to risk it but I thought I should ask, anyway. Just in case."
"Which brings me back to my opinion that everything sucks," she offered.
That got the corners of his lips quirking up into something of a smile.
"Yes, Dora. Everything sucks."