Remus had both not wanted to leave and wanted to rush put the door all at once. And both emotions made him feel awful. He still didn't know what he was supposed to be feeling, he was still reeling from... everything.

Ted was dead. He was buried. He wasn't here anymore.

And he was expected to just go on Potterwatch and report like normal? How was he supposed to do that?

"Go, Remus," Dora said heavily, unshed tears in her eyes. "Please. Just, just go."

He gave her a long look and nodded slowly, still unsure of himself.

Dora had been up and down recently, happy one minute and deeply grieving the next. Not that there was nothing wrong with that but it meant that he didn't want to leave her alone. And Andromeda hadn't even started talking yet. It was eerie. His mother-in-law wasn't exactly chatty in the first place but now she was completely quiet. It was unnerving.

He felt like he should be doing something, anything to make things even a little bit better but he didn't know what to do. He never knew what to do when someone who was family to you was killed. He just felt lost and helpless. He didn't like feeling helpless.

At least he knew what he was doing when he was on Potterwatch. Had a little bit of control.

"But-"

"Please, Remus," Dora pleaded. "I need, we need this. Please."

Giving her a long look, not knowing what he was expecting to see, and then nodded slowly.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

He didn't know what she was thanking him for but he gave her a hug.

"Now," she said, pushing him back slightly with a shadow of a smile on her face. "Go and give people hope."

How on earth was he supposed to do that if it felt like all hope was lost?

[xxxxxx]

"You good to go?" Remus asked quietly as he slipped into a chair along the table.

"Yep," George said, frowning as he tapped on a speaker and then looked up at him with a concerned loom on his face. "How are you all doing?"

"Getting by."

That was the honest answer. They weren't doing well, that was for sure. How could you when you'd lost a parent? But they were pushing on. Slowly, very slowly, but surely.

The twins gave him sympathetic looks but thankfully didn't offer up any platitudes. He didn't think he'd be able to take any more of those.

"You all ready?" Lee asked, sitting at the head of the table. "Know what you're doing?"

Fred gave him an apologetic look as they started up the show. The equipment was a bit dented and tarnished now but thankfully still worked.

"...apologize for our temporary absence from the airwaves, which was due to a number of house calls in our area by those charming Death Eaters."

Remus couldn't hold back a growl at that. Between Death Eaters trying to track Order members down (and thankfully failing even if they did find where they lived) and... and... and Ted, his tolerance for even the words 'Death Eaters' was at zero.

"...now found ourselves another secure location," Lee was saying, "and I'm pleased to tell you that two of our regular contributors have joined me here this evening. Evening, boys!"

"Hi."

"Evening, River."

He and Kingsley dutifully said.

"But before we hear from Royal and Romulus," Lee went on, "let's take a moment to report those deaths that the Wizarding Wireless Network News and Daily Prophet don't think important enough to mention. It is with great regret that we inform our listeners of the murders of Ted Tonks and Dirk Cresswell."

Lee continued on with the other casualties; goblins, Muggleborns, muggles Bathilda Bagshot. Remus knew exactly who had died but he was still struggling with hearing Ted's name be amongst that of the Ted. Yes, they had buried him. Yes, logically he knew he was gone but... nothing ever made you get used to hearing that a loved one was dead.

"- her body showed unmistakable signs of injuries inflicted by Dark Magic."

"Listeners, I'd like to invite you now to join us in a minute's silence in memory of Ted Tonks, Dirk Cresswell, Bathilda Bagshot, Gornuk, and the unnamed, but no less regretted, Muggles murdered by the Death Eaters."

Everyone in the room lapsed into solemn silence, Lee keeping an eye in his watch.

"Thank you," said Lee's voice. "And now we can return to regular contributor -

Remus couldn't help but tune Kingsley's update out, his thoughts still on Ted.

"And now, over to Romulus for our popular feature 'Pals of Potter.'"

George had to actually elbow him to get his attention. He hadn't realised he'd zoned out for so long.

"Thanks, River," Remus said carefully

"Romulus, do you maintain, as you have every time you've appeared on our program, that Harry Potter is still alive?"

"I do," said Remus firmly. "There is no doubt at all in my mind that his death would be proclaimed as widely as possible by the Death Eaters if it had happened, because it would strike a deadly blow at the morale of those resisting the new regime. 'The Boy Who Lived' remains a symbol of everything for which we are fighting: the triumph of good, the power of innocence, the need to keep resisting."

He did believe that. He had to believe that. Harry was not dead. He wasn't.

"And what would you say to Harry if you knew he was listening, Romulus?"

"I'd tell him we're all with him in spirit," said Remus, then hesitated slightly, not really knowing if Harry was listening but holding out hope that he was. "And I'd tell him to follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right."

He'd wanted to tell his defacto godson that ever since Harry had all but pummelled it into him. He was the reason he'd gone back to Dora so quickly. If at all.

Lee paused briefly to let that statement sink in before continuing.

"...and our usual update on those friends of Harry Potter's who are suffering for their allegiance?"

Remus listed off the people that had come to their attention. Such an odd group of people from Lovegood to Hagrid. But their faith for Harry was strong so he couldn't find it in himself to begrudge any of them.

"I suppose it helps, when escaping from Death Eaters, if you've got a sixteen-foot-high half-brother?" asked Lee, trying to insert a bit of humour into the situation.

Something Remus didn't necessarily think was needed right now and said as much.

"It would tend to give you an edge," agreed Remus gravely, giving his ex-student a slightly disapproving look which he squirmed under. "May I just add that while we here at Potterwatch applaud Hagrid's spirit, we would urge even the most devoted of Harry's supporters against following Hagrid's lead. 'Support Harry Potter' parties are unwise in the present climate."

"Indeed, they are, Romulus," said Lee, nodding in his enthusiasm to get back into his good graces. "so we suggest that you continue to show your devotion to the man with the lightning scar by listening to Potterwatch! And now let's move to news concerning the wizard who is proving just as elusive as Harry Potter. We like to refer to him as the Chief Death Eater, and here to give his views on some of the more insane rumours circulating about him, I'd like to introduce a new correspondent. Rodent?"

Lee looked expectantly at Fred with amusement written all over his face.

"I'm not being 'Rodent,' no way, I told you I wanted to be 'Rapier'!" Fed said in the most insulted voice Remus had ever heard him use.

Even with the seriousness of the topic, Remus found himself struggling to hold back laughter. As did Kingsley if his shaking shoulders were anything to go by. It was a good bit of light-heartedness that everyone could do with these days.

It was enjoyable, listening to the two of them banter back and forth, somehow making even news and facts about Voldemort both amusing and serious. Though the comment about basilisks was probably unnecessary.

"- he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo when he wants to, so don't count on him being a long way away if you're planning to take any risks. I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first!"

Remus did however enjoy all the jabs they could get in on Snape. It was extremely satisfying and somewhat appeased his immediate need for vengeance on the man. One of the reasons why he didn't try to think too much of him. It wasn't like he could do anything to Snivellus right now, could he?

That seemed to be the end of the show for now, a bit shorter than usual but Remus could hardly blame them considering the raid that they almost got caught in. He wanted to get back to Dora anyway.

"- twiddling those dials: The next password will be 'Mad-Eye.' Keep each other safe: Keep faith. Good night."

Keep faith. Keep faith. That was something that was becoming harder and harder to do.