"It's just those fake contractions," Tonks dismissed, pushing Remus away for the third time that day. "You know I've had them on and off for days."

They were the most frustrating things in existence. And painful. And really made her want to hold her baby because one; that meant no more contractions and two; she had been all ready to go into labour and then nothing. So oh, no. They weren't going to fool her this time. She wasn't going to wait with bated breath and count them. She wasn't going to time them. She wasn't going to check her labour bag as she had dubbed it - considering that a hospital trip was looking unlikely. An Order member being vulnerable in St Mungo's where Death Eaters could get to them easily? No thank you. So, a home birth is what it was going to be. She still had a bag for that. It was the right thing to have in her mind. Comfy, loose clothes for her, her baby's first set of clothes, moisturiser, fluffy socks, teeny, tiny newborn nappies, strange looking nipple cream. And some other stuff her mum had added and deemed necessary. Everything that she needed was in there. She thought so anyway. But she wasn't going to check that because she didn't need to right now because she wasn't going to be giving birth today!

"Ow," she hissed as another cramp rolled through her.

Oh, that had been a big one. Her body really did like to mess around with her, didn't it? Tonks just hoped that no one had heard that.

Tough luck with that happening when you had a freaking werewolf for a husband and a paranoid, attentive mother.

"Nymphadora, just how frequently are your contractions coming?" Andromeda asked sharply.

"I don't know, does it matter?"

They'd been on and off for what felt like ages. They were really annoying and she was done with them, thank you very much. She got the idea; her body was trying to prepare itself for labour. But did it really need this many practice runs? It was a bit much, in her opinion. She'd had less practice when it came to her Stealth and Tracking exam a way back in her Auror Training!

"Yes, it matters. Didn't Molly tell you?"

"Well, yeah, she said that the way to tell the real ones from the fake were that the real ones would get closer and closer togeth- Shhh."

There was another one. And that was sooner after the last one before the one before that had been.

"Dora," the fact that Andromeda called her Dora was enough to grab her attention. "I think you're in labour."

Remus froze at that while Tonks shook her head. There was no way that was true. Another set of contractions went through her. A strong one. It actually made her legs shake and give way. Remus, as usual, caught her.

It's early. The baby. It was too early. It was meant to be the end of the month, not now. Now was too early!

Everything was pretty much a blur after that. It turns out your waters breaking didn't have to be a big production and the absolute gush of liquid she had released in the early hours of this morning was probably them breaking. How was she supposed to know that? She had been expecting it to be all dramatic and everything, not mistaking it for pee! It was normal for a very pregnant woman to pee a lot! How was she supposed to know any different?

Thankfully, Molly and Muriel Prewitt had been called and they soon got her settled and sorted out. Muriel was surprisingly a very good midwife and had a really good, if stern, bedside manner.

"I didn't mean what I said about being too tired to carry it anymore," she said frantically in a gap in her contractions.

"Well, you'll soon be carrying your arms instead of your uterus," Muriel told her, glancing up from between her legs.

It was a bit disconcerting talking to a woman who was spending more time looking at your lady bits. Another round of contractions made sure that she didn't really mind that right now.

"Right," Muriel said briskly. "Your fully dilated and it's time for you to push."

"What?"

There was no way she was ready for a baby right now!

"You can do it," Remus said encouragingly, still hiding her hand from when she had been put on this damned bed.

That was the last thing she remembered him saying before she was screaming her way through the birth. Apparently, she had been too far into labour to get any sort of pain relief which she had not been planning on but she couldn't exactly fix that now.

Tonks didn't know how long it took or how difficult it was but all she knew that after what seemed like an endless amount of time, she was being handed a squalling, messy, pink creature.

"Congratulations," Molly said, beaming.

"You have a son," Muriel said quickly, not wanting her to steal her thunder.

"A son," Tonks breathed, looking down at the baby, her son, on her chest.

An hour or two passed and everyone and everything was now cleaned up and dressed appropriately. Well, almost.

"Wait, Remus, where is it?" She asked, looking all around her for the bag they turned out not to need after all despite their preparation.

"Where what?"

"My bag!"

He looked at her in confusion but retrieved it for her.

"Where is it, where is it?" She muttered, rummaging through it. "Ah ha!"

Tonks proudly plopped Andromeda's misshapen hat on his little head. It didn't quite fit and it bulged in a weird way on one side but it worked.

"Perfect."

"He really is, isn't he," Remus beamed.

"He is," Andromeda agreed, coming closer to them with this massive smile on her face. "Are you sure of his name?"

Tonks and Remus looked at each other and then nodded.

"Edward Remus Lupin."

"Teddy, for short," Tonks added helpfully and her mum gave her a water grin.

"The perfect name," Remus agreed, he hadn't stopped smiling.

He was pretty much vibrating in his excitement. There had never been anyone so proud as Remus Lupin in this moment. Tonks thought it was pretty adorable.

"Oh, go on," Andromeda said in amusement. "Go and spread the good news."

"Dora?" Remus looked at her so hopefully that she had to laugh.

It was good to laugh again. She couldn't remember the last time she had.

"Go and tell people," she instructed. "But be quick!"

Tonks watched her incredibly happy husband run eagerly out of the room, only after giving her and Teddy a quick kiss, and soon after heard the 'crack' of his hasty apparition. Normally once of the most silent, Remus wasn't taking any care in his excitement to tell everyone they possibly could about their son's birth. That left him with a whimpering Teddy in her arms. Teddy. Edward Remus. After her dad. And, well, Remus. And you couldn't call an itty-bitty baby Ted! That was such a grown-up name! So, Teddy it was.

"Typical man," she told the baby as she rocked him gently. "Worries like anything before you're born and then has so much excitement that he can't think straight when you do arrive."

Teddy looked at her with those big, blue eyes of his. His little tuft of hair had settled to match her mousey brown (bleurgh). It had come out darker than hers. Looks like her mum was right - Metamorphmaguses (Metamorphmagusi? That never did get resolved) did show their abilities as soon as they were born. Deep red hair on a screaming baby was a rather terrifying sight, though. Especially when it seemed to also have faint black tip so it looked like aforementioned baby was smoking.

Andromeda came into the room with a fresh bundle of blankets for Teddy - he'd already spit up on the original one he'd been wrapped in, a smile still on her face.

"Talking to yourself, Dora?" Her mother asked her. "I'm sure that's a sign that you're mad."

"We already knew that," Tonks dismissed. "But I was talking to the baby."

"Who probably thinks you're mad as well."

Tonks glared at her mother. Weren't you supposed to be nice to women who had just given birth?

"Do you want to hold your grandson? He might be your only if that was how birth is always going to be."

Oh, she was aware some women loved the whole birth process, she very much did not. Eurgh.

Andromeda all but snatched Teddy from her and cradled him gently. A yawn basically cracked her face in half. Sleep sounded like a good thing while Teddy was occupied.