Chapter 4

Thirteen Years Ago

"It's not gonna stop."

"Yes it is."

"You said that ten minutes ago."

"Yeah, which means it's ten minutes closer to being d one."

"Or it's getting worse."

He let out an exasperated sigh and turned to see Tess smirking at him, not at all bothered that they were stuck inside this bus shack waiting for the rain to stop.

Which it would.

Soon.

It had been three days since his mom's funeral and there'd been very little of that time he hadn't spent with the woman next to him. The morning after Jay had woken with her arms still wrapped around him but thankfully there hadn't been enough time to feel embarrassed about the fact that he had cried himself to sleep on top of her because Will had started loudly knocking at his door, calling him down for breakfast. He'd kept his family distracted while she snuck out, nearly choking when his father brought up the 'bizarre' conversation he'd had with their neighbour; apparently after the wake Mrs. O'Farrell next door had seen what she described as a 'demon with skinny white limbs' crawling up the side of their house. She'd vehemently advised they call the priest back but thankfully neither his father or brother put any stock in her story, instead joking about the repercussions of mixing a lifetime of religious fanaticism with too much sherry. Still when Tess had picked him up 15 minutes later he'd made a quick exit just in case one of them put two and two together.

They'd spent the drive to her place laughing about it and he'd taken great pleasure in her blush as he teased her, but then it had been his turn when they'd arrived and found her aunt home and not at work like Tess had said she would be. If Jay had had any doubts about their relation the familiar wicked grin she gave as she rounded the corner into the Brownstones front hall and saw him would have put them to rest. She looked exactly like Tess, the only difference being a few more lines on her face and brown eyes instead of blue but aside from that the two could have been sisters, a compliment he could tell she'd appreciated. She'd also been positively gleeful at the opportunity to embarrass her niece and he'd been just as amused, especially when Lydia shooed her upstairs to change; the reluctant way Tess looked between them told him her aunt was the kind to share but instead she had just stared at him, that grin slowly fading as a deep sadness took over.

"I'm going to hug you now." She'd said before doing just that, getting in close and wrapping her arms around him. Tightly. "Thank you."

It had taken him a second to understand but then she'd whispered it again, thank you for saving her, and as soon as he caught the tremor in her voice he was hugging her back just as tightly. He tried to tell her he didn't need any thanks but Lydia just shushed him, squeezing with a strength he hadn't expected from her small frame before she took his face in her hands and told him that he was to drop his letters off in person now and that she'd only stayed to tease Tess and was late for work. In the next breath she'd been out the door and he'd found himself thinking how much his mom would've liked her.

He certainly did.

Once she was gone he'd made Tess give him the tour, even poking his head in her closet despite it being far too small; it had hurt to hear how she'd chosen the smaller room because the one across the hall had made her feel suffocated but he understood. He felt the same way about being in his house now.

Because of that they'd decided to spend the day outside and had ended up walking the entire length of the Riverwalk, twice, only stopping to grab lunch, and as they ate he'd realized it was the first time they'd been together outside an active war zone. After what they'd been through he was starting to feel like he knew Tess almost as well as he knew himself, but the longer they spent together the more he realized how much he still had to learn, from their very different high school experiences, she had been much more popular than him, at least in Victoria, to her time at MIT and their introductions into the military. Jay was still impressed at how heavily she'd been recruited but he didn't envy her training, not the eighteen months at the Farm and certainly not the fact that she'd been the only female recruit, pretty much the only female in general aside from two instructors and a few staff. She didn't go into detail but he knew it couldn't have been pleasant.

The day had passed quickly, far quicker than he'd liked and before he'd known it she was dropping him back at his house, gently but firmly insisting he spend some time with his family. He'd been about to ask if she would come back when he'd caught the look in her eyes and known she was already planning on it, that there wasn't a chance in hell she was going to let him be alone. Tess was his saving grace, the only thing that could pull him back in a time when every other thought tried to send him down the dark spiral of grief. Sometimes he wondered if he clung to her a little too much, if maybe he should be feeling his mother's loss more but every time he went near it the depth and intensity scared him right back into her arms. Jay told himself that was okay, that there would be plenty of time to feel this hurt. A lifetime. He only had Tess for a little while, something else he actively tried not to think about.

And so that was how they spent their days. The only deviations had been yesterday when she'd come inside to pick him up and had invited Will to join them, which had gone surprisingly better than all of them had thought, and this evening when she would have dinner at their place, at his brothers' request and to Carol's delight.

That is if they made it there.

Technically they already had but no one had been home and rather than wait in the silent house he'd suggested they go for another walk. She had cautioned against it since the weather had been turning but he'd been confident they could get to the park a few blocks away and back before it rained. He'd been wrong.

And he was starting to think he was wrong about it being a light shower too.

BA-BOOM.

A crack of thunder cleaved the air so strong the glass walls of the shelter rattled and Tess gave him another look.

Yeah, he was definitely wrong.

"Fuck it." The next thing Jay knew she was darting out into the rain, her arms spread wide as she ran backwards down the sidewalk. "You coming or what?"

He let out a laugh and ran after her, his heart skipping a beat when her eyes lit up as he took her hand and twined his fingers with hers. They were only a little more than three blocks from his house but he didn't let go of her once, not until they ran through the front door and Carol came out to greet them, the massive grin on his aunt's lips instantly making him nervous.

Tonight was not going to be good.

For him anyway. Judging by each of the women's smiles, and Will's who was poking his head out from the kitchen, they were all going to enjoy this. Immensely.

"We were wondering where you two were! I'm glad to see the rain hasn't put a damper on your moods. Theresa, it's so nice to see you again. I'm glad you're finally joining us for dinner, even if it did take a while for someone to give you an invite. The wrong someone." His aunt finished with a pointed look in his direction.

It took everything he had not to roll his eyes back at her.

She had been on his back every day to have Tess over, for dinner, for lunch, 'just for a cup of tea', but he'd found a way to dodge the question every time. Not because he didn't want her here but because he didn't want her around his family. Not only was Carol bound to ask something inappropriate she was bound to share something inappropriate, Will too, and he didn't think hearing about how he used run around in his tighty-whitey's was high up on the list of things that would impress Tess.

And damn it he wanted to impress her. Wanted her to think he was the cool Ranger and not the angry kid from Canaryville.

"Thank you for having me." Tess replied softly, shifting slightly on her feet. "I brought some wine, we put it in the fridge earlier. I hope everyone likes white- I thought it would go nicely with the casserole."

"How thoughtful of you. I'm sure it will." Carol told her with a bright smile, right before she gave him a sour look. "Jay she's soaking wet, get her a towel already."

"We just got-" He let the protest die on his tongue as Carol's eyes narrowed- it wasn't worth it.

Just like it hadn't been worth it when he'd tried to convince Tess she didn't need to bring anything, though at least he'd talked her out of getting a second bottle. She'd wanted to bring a red and a white, 'just in case'.

Instead he nodded and led her upstairs, shooting a dark look at his brother when he caught him snickering. He was still sulking as he grabbed the towels from the hall closet, half serious as he contemplated different excuses to get them out of this, but then he walked into his room and they all vanished. Every thought in his head but one.

God she was beautiful.

Every part of her, from the onyx hair that stuck to her neck to the pretty skirt and top he'd called church ready just this morning, the outfit now filling him with very unholy thoughts as he took in the way the damp material clung to her curves. Suddenly Jay couldn't stop thinking about those curves, how flawlessly they molded against him every time he held her. Couldn't stop thinking about how else they might fit. And then there were the droplets rolling down her collarbone, their dewy sheen highlighting her sun kissed skin and the way her chest rose and fell with each heavy breath, very heavy he noted distantly as his gaze continued up before getting stuck on her mouth. That mouth had haunted his dreams, sleeping and waking. Two brief, adrenaline filled kisses was all they'd shared yet he could still remember exactly what her lips had felt like, how she'd tasted, like dirt and sweat and pine nuts. And vanilla. Even trekking through the middle of a mountain range she had tasted like vanilla, the same sweet scent that was surrounding him now. His eyes kept rising, taking in her flushed, rosy cheeks and straight nose, a part of the body he'd never before thought of as cute, until finally they fell hers. That was the ocean in her eyes, vast and infinite and waiting.

Waiting on him.

What was he waiting for?

There were no rules here, nothing to hold him back- all he had to do to have her was take her.

Without another second of hesitation he strode across the room, a hot flood of desire rushing through him the minute his lips took hers. Jay had to force himself to go slow, to savour the way Tess melted into him and the tiny tremors that ran through her, the breathy moan she let out when his tongue slipped in to caress hers. She'd made the same sweet sound when he'd kissed her in the valley and just like then hearing it struck a chord deep inside him; he didn't even know he'd moved them to the bed until he was laying down atop her, his own shiver of delight running through him as he settled between her legs. Just like he'd thought he fit perfectly. Only the need to breathe had him finally pulling his lips from hers but he solved the problem by moving to her neck, kissing along the smooth column until the heat of her fingers trailing up and down his sides grew too distracting to ignore. He threw his shirt off so he could feel more, intent on going right back to kissing her but then his eyes fell into hers and the pressing need that was bearing down on him softened.

He was in love with her.

He had to be because nothing but love could be this strong, this right. They were right together, in that way that made him believe they'd been made just for each other.

He hadn't realized his own fingers were playing with the hem of her top until she dipped her chin and then they were pulling it up, the growing ache between his legs giving a sharp throb when she arched her back to help and then it was off and all the breath rushed out of him. Beautiful was his first thought. Anger was his second. His mouth went dry as he took in her breasts, full and rounded and held tight in some kind of lacy nude bralette but then he saw it, the scar permanently seared into the flesh of her right breast. He recognized it immediately. The image of her crumpled on that mountain trail had never faded, nor had his catalogue of her injuries. Before he knew it Jay was brushing his lips across it as gently as he could and then he turned to his necklace, righting the pendant so St. Michael stared up at him before he pressed a kiss to the angel in thanks and prayer.

Protect her in battle.

When he lifted his head Tess was staring up at him, her eyes full of the same intimate desire that was drowning him. For a moment their gazes stayed locked, something he didn't think either understood passing between them until he grew tired of just looking and went back to kissing her. He didn't need to know what it meant- just that he wanted it.

This time he took advantage of their shared undress to explore her, memorizing the suppleness of her body and the softness of her skin, the hitch in her breath as his hands moved up her sides until finally they cupped her breasts, that throbbing increasing when she let out a soft sigh. Even more when his thumbs brushed over her nipples and she arched into him. Looking at her wasn't conscious, it was instinct, a primal urge to see her, see how she reacted to him, and it was better than anything he'd imagined. Her head was thrown back with her dark hair strewn around her, on his sheets, her pink lips parted as she panted save for a gentle pull between her teeth when his hips returned the pressure she so temptingly sent into his. Seeing her this way, knowing he was the one responsible for her pleasure only made Jay want more. He moved down her neck and chest, keeping his eyes locked on her face as he brushed his lips along the spot where her skin met the lace of her bralette, his fingers dancing up to pull the material to the side, just about to finally bare her to him when,

"Hey, you guys g-oh shit."

Will was there and gone in a second but it was enough to send them both scrambling. Tess curled her body behind his while he threw an arm out to cover her, doing his best to keep the expletives running through his mind to himself.

"I'm sorry. I'm so- I'll be right back, I promise." He ran after his brother, only stopping long enough to make sure the door was shut firmly behind him and then he threw his fist into Will's arm. Hard. His yelp was satisfying but it didn't erase the mental image of her staring up at him in wide-eyed shock, in fear, so he did it again, then a third time.

"Ow. Ow! Enough already! It's not my fault you didn't lock the door. Or shut it."

Jay hit him one more time, backing off just as his brother went to hit back, though the look in his eyes said he understood it wasn't going to be an even fight. It was quite possibly the first time it wouldn't be and both brothers realized it at the same time. Will looked displeased. He smirked.

"Go away."

"You do realize dad and Carol are downstairs right? Might want to save jumping your girlfriend for after dinner."

"Go away." He repeated, now waving a dismissive hand at him. "We'll be down in a minute."

"Might want to take care of that first."

His brother's sly glance had Jay lunging for him but he made a break for the stairs, laughing as he took them two at a time. He glared after him then let out a quiet huff, followed by several deep breaths in a poor attempt to calm himself before he went back into his room, catching Tess just as she whirled behind his closet door.

"It's okay, it's just me."

It took a second but she stepped out, now dressed in one of his sweaters and looking more uncomfortable than he'd ever seen her. "Hi."

"Hey. Listen-"

"It's fine. Really, everything's- everything's fine. I'm just- I'm gonna-"

He'd never seen her stumble over her words before and to make matters worse when he tried to go to her she actually flinched, skirting him before she ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. Jay was left standing there, shock and guilt washing over him until a shudder reminded him that his window was still open- and that he was still shirtless.

Fuck him.