Chapter 8
"What the hell are you doing?" He shouted as she ran down into the yard, her arms spread wide as if she'd catch the falling drops.
She was insane.
Completely insane.
"What does it look like?"
"Like you're trying to get struck by lightning!"
Part of him was legitimately concerned, this storm was intense, but the other part just couldn't stop watching her. This was a version of Tess he hadn't seen before. Not really, just glimpses here and there, like when she'd gone toe to toe with Bronson or when he'd spied on her sparring with Nysa, or when she'd showed off all the supplies she'd stolen from the Taliban camp. This wasn't the girl he'd come to know it was the woman, strong and wild and every bit as untamed as this storm. This was the woman he'd seen through his scope. The one he'd fallen in love with. He loved the girl too but that had been slower, quieter and softer.
But this?
His heart whispered the word but his mind refused to acknowledge it and then Tess tipped her head back down and all that power was suddenly trained on him, so strong his knees wobbled and then she smiled and the breath was knocked right out of him. At least until he caught sight of that wicked gleam as she began to back up towards the gate.
"At least stay in the yard!"
She may be the most incredible woman he'd ever met but she was also going to give him a heart attack.
He ran down the steps to grab her but then all he could do was stare. Jesus her eyes were blue. Bluer than blue, bluer than the bluest gemstone. Jay didn't stand a chance against those eyes. So, he didn't bother to fight, just closed his own, tipped his head back to the sky and took in the feeling of the rain as it washed over him.
It felt better than he'd thought it would- it reminded him of that flower he often saw when scouting in the densest parts of the mountains, the little purple one. It was tiny, no bigger than his thumb, but whenever it rained it would bloom and come alive. Jay felt a bit like that flower, wilted and withering and found himself falling into the rain, into each drop as it landed on his skin. Into the woman in his arms. He didn't know how long they stood there but when he found himself looking back down she was already staring up at him, those big blue eyes soft and caring.
"I used to do this with my mom."
Her voice may have been gentle but her words hit him like a ton of bricks.
"Whenever it stormed we'd go out, and sometimes the winds would be so strong they'd push us down the street, and if one of us had had a bad day, or a bad week or bad month we'd yell. Curse at the top of our lungs until we felt better, until the rain carried it all away."
He could picture it. A little fifteen-year-old Tess, swearing like the sailors on the base near where she'd grown up- innocent as she may look she had a mouth on her. He had the feeling she'd gotten it from her mother and could just imagine them side by side, exhausted but smiling when they got home and took the hot chocolate her father would've had waiting. It was a nice picture, but it made the hole inside him ache.
"You can. But I promise you'll be stronger if you do. You'll be happier."
He didn't want to.
He didn't want to feel it.
He didn't want to lose it. What would he have of her then?
"It's okay. It's going to be okay."
How?
How was anything going to be okay without his mom?
Scream. That was what she'd said. Just scream and get it out. Could he do that? What would happen if he did? If he let go of the control he clung to so tightly? What would happen if he didn't? Jay didn't know which thought scared him more but all those feelings were still building up so he did the only thing he could, the only thing that made sense.
He trusted Tess.
The sound that came out of him was so full of despair it startled even him but once he'd started he couldn't stop, and he quickly realized he didn't want to. It felt good to let it out. To feel that weight finally start to lift from his shoulders- and to realize that his mom didn't go with it. She stayed, all her memories, her smiles, just as bright and beautiful as before. Even more now the grief didn't cloud his mind. Eventually he slumped back into Tess, comforted by the gentle love in her eyes, at least until that wicked gleam came back and she kicked a puddle at him.
She really was incredible. Incredibly insane, but incredible, nonetheless.
She went to do it again but before she could he kicked a spray back at her, catching her easily when she tried to feint around him but the laugh she let out had him quickly bringing her back around. Jay wanted to see that laugh, that spark in her eyes that always turned on some light inside him. It was beautiful, bright and innocent and before he knew what he was doing he was kissing her- it was the only way he knew to convey the emotions rushing through him, all the gratitude and love. He would have kissed her again when they finally paused for breath but her smile stunned him, that twinkle stealing any words he could have uttered.
Not her though.
"Can we leave the yard now?"
He'd do anything she wanted.
And he did. He followed as she led him around the block, sometimes walking, sometimes racing, he even skipped, but he'd quickly gotten flustered and had picked her up and swung her in another circle to distract her. Five actually, before he'd grown dizzy and stumbled; he'd had to lean against someone's car to catch his breath but she'd stayed in his arms, making this happy little hum that had his insides twisting. After that he pretty much stopped paying any attention to the storm and focused wholly on her.
She was hilarious.
She did whatever she wanted, jumped in puddles or kicked them at him, twirled and danced and shouted curses at every neighbour he told her he didn't like. He'd never seen anyone be so free. There was an innocence Tess had, that she'd managed to keep even after everything she'd been through that stunned him. That called to him. It was that instinct that made him want to be near her- he'd barely stopped touching her and when just having her at his side was no longer enough he made her climb onto his back, only occasionally getting distracted by her mouth brushing against his ear as she chatted away. That was how he noticed she was getting cold, because he could feel her shivers as she pressed into him so he finally headed back towards the house, giving her a thorough once over as soon as they got inside. Jay liked the colour blue on her, just not on her lips.
"You're freezing- go wrap yourself in one of the blankets, I'm gonna grab us something to dry off."
Towels.
They needed towels.
He took four out of the hall closet then fumbled his way into his bedroom to find them each a set of clothes to change into; in the dark he had no idea what he was grabbing but as long as it was warm and thick he supposed it didn't really matter. It took a second to get everything piled in his arms but then he hurried back downstairs, to his surprise finding Tess just standing there, very much not getting warm like he'd told her to.
"What are you doing? You're gonna get sick." He quickly deposited the clothes on the coffee table and laid one of the towels over her shoulders. Could she not feel herself shivering? "We need to get you dried off. I brought-"
"No."
Her quiet but firm refusal had him instantly taking a step back, watching with confusion as determination and nerves waged war across her face before finally she gave him that look. The one where her eyes became like two deep pools of sapphire, brimming with a hope that made him want to drop to his knees in front of her.
"I don't want to just get changed and go to sleep… I want you."
I want you.
It took him a second to understand, she already had him, but then he realized what she was saying and his knees did buckle but somehow he stayed standing, dumbstruck as he tried to get his brain to work. "Are- are you sure?"
"Yes."
There was no hesitation now and his heart picked up pace, his abdomen tightening as images he'd worked very hard to push down began to rise but then,
"Unless you don't want to." She blurted, the nerves winning this time as her brows began to furrow. "If, if you aren't ready, because of your mom, or if you just don't want to, that's fi-"
"I want to."
It was sweet of her to think of him but it wasn't necessary. There wasn't anything Jay wanted more but if this was real, and he was pretty sure it was, he needed to make sure she was ready because what she was offering… it was big. Meaningful. And he didn't know if he'd done enough to deserve it. He hadn't even done anything to make it special- sure they'd gone for dinner but it had been burgers, and yeah there were candles but-
It's not because I'm religious. Or because I'm waiting for marriage or like, candles or rose petals or some big event, I actually really don't want that.
"I want this."
He pulled himself out of his head to find Tess staring up at him, those blue eyes as soft and steady as the hand she laid over his heart.
"I want you. I have… I have ever since I went to your barracks."
His heart was going to jump out of his chest it was beating so fast.
That night… she hadn't needed him anymore. Her team had been found, she had been healing, physically and mentally- there hadn't been any reason for him to stick around. But she'd still wanted him. And damn if he hadn't wanted her too. If he didn't want her right now, every fibre of his being yearning for her. Jay finally gave in and brought his mouth to hers, the same shiver running through them as their lips met; the same delight they got every time they kissed, his new favourite hobby, but also anticipation of what came next.
He had to remember that this was new to her and just because she trusted him didn't mean she wasn't still nervous. It was his job to make her comfortable, to soothe whatever worries she had. And to respect whatever decisions she made. He watched her carefully as they parted to catch their breath, counted her soft little pants before her eyes fluttered open and flicked up to his. He could drown in those eyes and he would go a happy man.
"Show me?"
Jesus.
This time he nearly did drop but instead he managed to nod before he gave her another gentle kiss. He would. He would show her everything she wanted. Tess was giving a piece of herself to him, maybe not the most important one but still one that mattered, and he was going to make sure he was worthy of it. Of her.
His heart began to settle even as his gut tightened, his throat already starting to close as he looked her over. She was still soaked, standing in a little puddle with her bright toes and her hair a mess and her clothes clinging to her in all the right places, the white of her t-shirt just sheer enough that he could see the soft skin beneath. His fingers ached to feel it but he made himself reach for his own shirt first, swallowing heavily when she helped to peel it off and then again when her hands fell to his chest. Right to his heart. With a bit of encouragement they started to spread out, up his shoulders and down his abdomen, back and forth like she was mapping every inch. And the way she touched him- so innocent and trusting and inquisitive. Jay wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and kiss her until she couldn't breathe but he held himself back.
She was the one who needed to set the pace here, not him.
And it wasn't as though he wasn't enjoying every touch, the way her fingers were so soft yet just as calloused as his. More.
That.
That was what it was that drove him wild about her. That anyone could be so much of two such opposing things. He knew the things Tess had seen, the things she'd done because he'd had to do them himself. He knew how they weighed on a person. But he'd never, never seen anyone who could do them and still be as soft as she was.
As merciful.
The feeling of her fingers pulling away pulled him out his head, his heart skipping a beat when she lifted her arms but he did as she asked and gently removed her shirt, mindful of that sweet but cautious way she watched him; he knew she was insecure about her lack of experience and though he didn't like that she felt that way he also couldn't deny it made him feel special to know he was the one who got to teach her. And because he understood his role he didn't allow his hands to roam over her the way they wanted to, and only once he felt she was ready did he gently run a finger along the top of her jeans. Even as she dipped her chin those nerves grew so he kissed her first, waiting for that silent sigh she always gave right before she melted and then he slowly knelt before her, and even though her whole face went pink she didn't break his stare, not once. The emotion between them was so strong he couldn't have looked away even if he'd wanted to, and as tempting as the idea of seeing her was he didn't want to. That look in her eyes was stronger than any lust. But desire still rose, in him and in her, sapphire going black as she tugged him up, tilting her head back for him to take her mouth as her hands pulled him closer. Jay quickly gave her what she wanted, so intent on the task that he barely felt the tightening in his pants, at least until it was her fingers brushing along his jeans and then he could hardly think of anything else. That is until she began to kneel. Then all he could do was watch.
For a moment she didn't do anything but before he could tell her that she didn't have to, that she didn't have to do a single damn thing she didn't want to she reached for his zipper and then it got hard to breathe, never mind speak. How many times had he imagined this?
How long had it been since he'd met her?
300 days, give or take, which meant the first time he would have found himself picturing it would have been roughly 290 ago. He'd thought himself disgusting for thinking it so soon after what had happened to her but it had been hard to stop his mind from wandering when he'd spent a week holding her in that tiny cot, the first woman he'd been close to in over a year, the first one he'd felt anything for in several. So he'd imagined. And then she'd left and he'd missed her so he'd imagined more, and then she'd come back and she'd saved him and the itch had only gotten stronger, even more now he'd had a taste of her. He wouldn't go so far as to say not a day had gone by that he hadn't thought about her but there hadn't been many that had- only when he was in the field, when the only thing in his mind was his mission and his men. But all those days and he'd never imagined it would be like this. Just the last few, once he realized what it would mean if it ever happened. What it meant now that it was.
God it was like a surge of pride that ran through him, this alpha male feeling that only she seemed to bring out in him.
For the second, third?, time the absence of her touch pulled him out of his head and he looked down to see her still kneeling before him, staring at the evidence of his feelings for her. Jay immediately started taking slow breaths to calm himself but she didn't rise like he had, her face getting steadily pinker until she reached out and slipped her fingers into his boxers.
Oh.
He tried to speak but his throat wouldn't work so he tried to tug her back up but that didn't work either, though her eyes did meet his, not that it helped with the lack of air. Because despite the redness or the way her own throat bobbed her gaze was steady. Sure.
"I want to."
Jesus.
Okay. Okay. She wanted to look at him. That was fair, that was understandable. Thankfully this time she held his stare as she slipped his boxers off and he had a moment to get back in control, not that it meant much when she finally looked at him. When he saw the flash of hunger in her eyes. He was trying very hard not to focus on what that hunger made him feel, or the fact that she was watching what it did but then before he knew it her hand was wrapping around him and that became the only thing he could concentrate on. Fuck she felt good. The way her fingers gripped him, not quite able to hold all of him but enough that he could feel all of her and then she started moving, soft, slow strokes that had him quickly hardening under her touch. And then he felt her breath and all he wanted was for her lips to wrap around his head, to feel her tongue against him until he-
Wait.
When had this become about him?
"Stop." He managed to rasp, the haze lifting just enough that he could start to think again.
"I'm sorry, I- did I hurt you?"
"No. No, you didn't do anything, it's just- this isn't-" Jay had to pull her up to get his mind to calm, letting her scent soothe his wilder instincts until finally he could think clearly again. "Tonight isn't about me."
"Yes it is." Tess said it so simply, her chin tilting up in that 'I dare you to challenge me' way that any rebuttal he had died, especially as her eyes started to soften back to that blue he loved so much. "Jay… you are the only man whose penis I have ever wanted to put in my mouth."
A strangled laugh slipped past his lips and her eyes lit up in that look he loved so much. If she could always look at him like that he didn't think he'd ever need anything else.
"I want this because I want you. More than I've ever wanted anything. Just… tell me, if I'm doing something wrong?"
Jesus.
Jay didn't bother to try to find the words to explain how that made him feel, he didn't think there were any, so instead he put his attention to her, nodding as he tucked some hair behind her ear. "Tell me if I do? If I do something you don't like?"
That was his worst fear.
Tess was giving this, herself, to him and he wouldn't be able to bear it if he didn't do it properly. If he hurt her.
"I promise."
She held his stare until he knew she meant it and then she kissed him, the last of his tension leaving when he felt her lips on his. Despite what she said tonight was about her but he had promised to give her what she wanted and if this was it, it wasn't like he was going to say no. He pulled her hair away from her face as she knelt back down, feeling a particularly sharp throb as he watched her settle in front of him and then she took him in her hand, his eyes fluttering closed as she started stroking him again. She set a steady pace, nice and slow and he fell so deep into it that he was caught completely off guard when just moments later her tongue ran along his length. Jay couldn't hold back his groan, couldn't stop his hips from giving a little thrust to get closer and he certainly couldn't stop the noise he made when she took him in her mouth. She said she'd never done this before but damn if she didn't know what she was doing; she worked her hand and mouth in perfect sync, curling her tongue around his head and sucking his tip until his eyes rolled back in his head. His pleasure only grew as she began to pick up her pace, as he caught the quiet little moans that spilled from her mouth and the way her thighs shifted as her own arousal grew, and then she very gently, and yet not at all gingerly cupped his balls and he almost came. It was an effort to open his eyes but he managed to, even as her vigour increased and his release started getting closer and closer. He had to look at her. Had to watch her. And God was she beautiful. She started taking him even deeper, relaxing her throat and all he wanted was to let her, to see what she would do when that release came.
Would she pull away and let it splash across her?
Would she take it in her mouth?
Would she swallow it?
So many possibilities, so many images forming in his mind but as strong as the desire to find out was there was another voice calling for him to wait. His release could come later but now, tonight… it wasn't about him.
"Wait." He gently pulled her back until he heard the little pop as he left her mouth, then tried not to hiss as the cool air hit him. "I'm close."
"Isn't that the point?"
She just stared up at him, panting as she licked her lips and though he found himself chuckling he gently tugged her back up. "I'm not ready to finish yet."
He waited just long enough to watch her blush and then he kissed her, wrapping his arms around her as he took his turn to make her breathless. To make her tremble. And she did, melting into his arms like putty as a new kind of hunger began to tighten his gut. It sharpened his focus as he lay them down, pushing back the part of his brain that begged him to just take her now and make her his; Jay had every intention of doing so but he wasn't going to rush this. He was going to savour every moment, all the little shivers that ran through her and the way she pushed up against him, her quiet whimper when he finally gave in and touched her. God her skin was soft. Silky and warm and plush- he filled his hands with her, swallowing her low moan when he pulled her leg higher around his hip so he could get closer. That moan set his blood on fire and he tore his mouth from hers so he could hear more, each sharp inhale and breathy little pant, the hitch as he began to move down her neck.
Tess was so responsive, more than anyone he'd ever been with. Everywhere he moved she met him, shifting to pull him closer or give him better access so when she arched her back to offer her breasts he took them, letting out his own groan of satisfaction as he began to knead her flesh. She was still wearing her bralette, similar to the one she'd had on the other day but instead of nude it was pink and instead of lace it was some other kind of silky material, but as beautiful as it looked on her it wasn't what he wanted to see. He wanted to see her. He pushed himself up so he could take it off, feeling the breath get knocked out of him a moment later when it was finally gone. Fuck she was beautiful. Those ocean eyes and blushing cheeks, raven hair spread like a halo and two full breasts topped with the prettiest pink nipples he'd ever seen. They looked hard too, almost as hard as he was but before he could lean down and pop one in his mouth something on her ribs caught his attention.
She had a tattoo.
Another one.
This one was… well it was a couple things. A wave that became mountains that went flat before it became a few trees and then ended in another wave.
"You know you're kinda handsy."
He looked up, then flushed as Tess laughed. He'd done it again. He was holding her in place, pinning her arm above her head so that he could get a better look at the ink etched on the side of her breast; he quickly let her go but she just smiled and shrugged so he went back to looking at it. It was simple but beautiful, one continuous line that still somehow managed to make each feature distinct.
"Is it Victoria?"
"Partly."
Partly? It took another moment until it clicked and then he felt like an idiot. It wasn't the island, it was the country, the geography of it anyway. From coast to northern coast.
"I got it a few weeks after moving here. I was in class one day, just completely homesick, so I skipped and just… wandered into the first tattoo shop I saw. Lydia was so impressed."
He must've made a face because she laughed again, so bright he found himself moving back up so he could be closer to the sound.
"From what I've been told both her and my mom could be pretty wild but Lydia was younger and therefore she says naturally more chaotic. But apparently neither of them were ever cool enough to go get tatted up, at least that young."
Nope. Just her.
Every time he started to think he knew her she surprised him. In fact… "Do you have any more?"
Her eyes twinkled and she tilted her head to the left, and though at first he didn't see anything after he pushed her hair back he saw it, the tiny line of script hidden just behind her ear.
Hush little tempest.
"It's what my parents used to call me. I was also a wild child."
Tempest.
It was exactly how he thought of her, how he'd been picturing her all evening- an untameable force of nature. But the way she looked at him… he wondered if there was a difference between a tempest and a hurricane, if they both shared the same calm in the centre of the storm because if they did that had to be her eyes. Jay couldn't help but kiss her again, so in awe of this woman and found himself whispering the words he'd been holding back almost since he'd met her.
"I love you."
He hadn't wanted to say it. Hadn't wanted to make himself so vulnerable when he had no guarantee he wouldn't lose her, when he knew how likely it was that he could, that she could lose him, but he couldn't not. Couldn't not give that to her when she was giving so much to him.
Those eyes went wide and this time Tess was the one pulling him in, taking his mouth as he melted into her. "I love you."
Hearing her say it… the leash he was keeping on himself tightened even as he deepened the kiss, even as he revelled in the sound of her sweet moan as his tongue brushed against hers. He was going to make sure she knew how much he meant it, how right she was to put her trust in him. And there were a lot of ways he was going to do that, and hopefully for a lot of years, but right now there was only one.
He waited until his lungs felt like they were about to burst and then pulled back, peppering her with kisses as he slowly made his way down her chest, across each plump breast until his lips finally grazed over her nipple; he hadn't meant to suck the pert little bud into his mouth but her soft cry of pleasure pushed at his control and then he flicked his tongue over it and she mewled, actually mewled and it damn near snapped. He quickly brought his other hand up, careful to still be gentle as he pinched and pulled the other bud. The way Tess moaned his name was like music to his ears and as her own hands dove into his hair, her hips rolling against his he knew he was making some of his own. He could feel her wetness and it nearly drove him mad, especially when he began to meet her thrusts, grinding against her until all those little moans became choked cries, until his name became a plea. And then he answered it, holding her stare as he slipped his fingers beneath the elastic of her underwear and waiting until she gave him the okay before he pulled them down, then waiting for it again before he finally allowed himself to look at her.
Fuck she was beautiful.
Pink and glistening and swollen but instead of burying his head between her legs like he wanted to and finding out what she tasted like he made his way back to her, kissing her deeply until her lips pulled away from his.
"Fucking touch me already."
"Well since you asked so nicely."
Her husky laugh turned into a moan as he ran a finger down her slit, then into a curse as he did it again, his own eyes rolling back as he felt her.
Inexperienced she might be, but his girl wasn't shy.
Jay held her stare as he shifted, propping himself up just slightly as he slid a hand into her hair, right before he cupped her with the other and slipped his finger inside her; instantly her eyes fluttered closed and she let out a soft sigh, and that was enough for him. He set a steady pace that quickly had more curses spilling from her lips and soon he was moving back down her body, taking in the way her head tossed back and forth and how her mouth formed that perfect little 'o' every time he thrust harder or rubbed his thumb against her clit. But then his lips brushed along her navel and her whole body suddenly stiffened, eyes wide as they stared up at the ceiling, brows pulled together anxiously.
Alright. Maybe a little shy.
"I want to." He told her softly, pressing a gentle kiss to her stomach when her eyes flicked to his then another when she blushed, most of the tension leaving her body as she nodded and slowly settled back into the blankets.
It surprised him that she could be so willing to go down on him yet be so nervous when it came time for her turn but he hoped that once he started she would realize how much she liked it. And how much he did. Still, he kept an eye on her and waited until she'd lost herself in the pleasure again before he flicked his tongue over her clit, unsure what he liked more, her taste, which he swore was like blackberries, or the way she moaned his name. Every cry and buck of her hips fanned the fire inside him, pushing him to lick and suck the little nub, to pump faster and harder until she was writhing beneath him, pulling at his hair and scraping her nails across his shoulders, begging him for more. And then he gave it to her, wrapping his hands under her thighs to hold her in place as he traded his finger for his tongue. The high, needy cry she let out made him throb so much it hurt but it was worth it to feel the way she gushed, the way her hands went from fisting in his hair to fisting the blankets, her hips bucking so insistently he hardly needed to do anything. Except that he wanted to. He really, really wanted to. He used his tongue to bring her to the edge and right when he felt she was close he brought his thumb up and pressed on her clit to push her over, keeping her there until she shattered for a second time. He'd been expecting a scream, was looking forward to it given how vocal she was but instead her breath caught, her body arching as her orgasm washed over her and it wasn't until she collapsed that it came back, a low, sensual moan that shot straight to his own core.
Jay had to make himself pull away, to press a few soft kisses to her thighs before he crawled up and covered her face with them, running his hand along her side to soothe the tremors running through her. It took a few minutes until they stopped and her eyes opened, pulling up into a tired smile before she closed them again and puckered her lips. He couldn't help but laugh and do as she asked, burying his head in her hair to breathe her in as she let out that happy little hum.
"I really liked that."
"Good. So did I."
Tess blushed but nestled closer, pressing her own kiss to his shoulder before she took his free hand and twined her fingers with his. She didn't say anything but she didn't need to- he could see the love in her eyes and he knew she could see it in his. This woman… they met in the middle, their lips melding in the best kiss he'd ever had and this time when she nudged him he didn't hesitate. He had always known being with her was about more than just sex, the connection between them made that clear but he hadn't understood what it would actually feel like. How strong it would be.
He'd never felt this way before.
He never would again. Not for anyone else.
The sudden feel of him brushing against her sent a shudder through both of them but while she moaned he jolted.
Condoms.
How could he have forgotten? Did he even have any? It wasn't like he kept his bedside table stocked anymore- Ali was the last girl he'd brought over and that had been what, seven, eight years ago? Before he could get up to check her hands were wrapping around his arms, holding him in place.
"I have an IUD. I have to for- I have an IUD." She repeated, her face going back to that soft, blushing pink.
He was torn between being angered by the reason she had to have one, he'd worked with enough female soldiers to know the different precautions they had to take and being overwhelmed by what she was offering. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Well fuck.
It wouldn't be the first time he'd had sex without one but it wasn't something he made a habit out of. But… he was clean. And obviously so was she, and if she wanted to…
"You're sure?"
Tess nodded slowly. "I want to feel you."
Fuck.
Jay took her mouth so fast it made his head spin, even more when she let out another one of those sweet moans and started pushing against him. He couldn't hold back anymore. Not from her. He propped up just enough on his knees so that he could gaze down at her then slid his hand back into her hair, pulling away just in time to catch her soft gasp as he prodded his head against her entrance. It was like time stopped as he slowly pushed inside, nothing but him and her and that ocean in her eyes. He memorized every second of it, every quiet whimper and flutter of her lashes, the way she moaned his name as she nestled into his hand, her own sliding across his back to pull him closer. It was overwhelming for him so he had no idea how she must be feeling but if the smile on her lips was any indication she liked it. He watched that smile grow as she started to shift, figuring out what felt comfortable, what felt good, the sexiest little furrow forming in her brow when she moved a way she liked; he didn't think he had ever been this hard, had ever been wrapped in anything so soft and wet and tight.
God she was tight.
But thankfully she didn't seem to think so, or at least he didn't seem to be causing her much pain- she'd informed him, with a firm tilt to her chin and a beet red face that she had toys and she knew how to use them but he'd still been worried. He wanted her to enjoy this.
Slowly her eyes opened and met his and if the look she gave hadn't knocked the breath out of him her smile would have. He tried to tell her he loved her but his mouth wouldn't work so he kissed her instead and then finally, finally he began to move. He set the pace, slow and gentle, but deep, noting after the first few thrusts that she kept trying to draw him closer, a very male sort of pride washing over him when he saw just how much she wanted him, how much she wanted her own pleasure. Jay didn't think he'd ever had a partner who was as willing, as active. Even when he'd been a dumb twenty-year-old sneaking out of the base to go to pick up girls at the local bar he'd always thought of sex as something that was only enjoyable if both participants enjoyed it but more often or not he found that the girls he'd ended up taking home, or being taken home by were usually content to let him do the work. But not Tess. She matched every thrust, pushing up to kiss him or pulling him down to her until there wasn't any space left between them, her arms wrapping around him just as tightly as his did, raising goosebumps everywhere her hands touched. His control had already been slipping and it wasn't long before he could feel himself getting close so he started thrusting faster and just a bit harder, and then harder still when he saw how much she liked it. He was determined that she finish first and the way she squirmed told him that she would, slowly losing the rhythm until she was just laying there and taking what he gave her, pleading with him for more until he nearly forgot himself, forgot everything but her and then he felt her start to tighten and he did. All he cared about was her pleasure, her cries right before that catch of breath and then she was done and so was he, overcome with the urge to fill her with as much of himself as he could; he went until he was spent and then all but collapsed on top of her, burrowing his head into her neck even as he struggled to get his lungs to work.
It took him a minute before he could pull out of her, her soft whine making him wish he didn't have to and then a few more before he had enough energy to roll over, bringing her with him until she lay across his chest and smiling as she lazily stretched out before nestling closer. It reminded him of a cat. It was a while before either spoke but it was a comfortable silence, filled with gentle kisses and sweet caresses across whatever parts of the other they could reach and he was just measuring her breaths to see if she'd fallen asleep, and if he should join her, when he felt her move, pushing up and resting her chin on her hands as she stared at him. She didn't say anything, just looked him over softly, the sparkle in her eyes getting brighter as he tugged her up and kissed her.
"How do you feel?"
"Amazing."
"Good."
"You too?" She asked with a nervous smile, going pink when he returned it and brought her in for another kiss.
"Very much amazing." She made that happy little noise again and it made his heart swell so much he just grabbed her and squeezed, burying his head in her hair as she nestled into his neck. No one else made him feel this way, this warm and safe and loved.
This important.
Pat Halstead thrust his key into the lock, rubbing his eyes as he did. Damn he was tired. He'd thought there wasn't going to be much to do in a blackout but then Carol had brought out the whiskey, and if he was going to listen to his sister prattle about everything under the sun he was going to do it with a drink in his hand. Or several. He grunted as he pushed the door open, then looked down in confusion. Why did the carpet feel wet? And what was that pile by the-
Oh.
There was Jay, laying on his back in the centre of the living room with his girl, Theresa, nestled into his side; the blankets wrapped around them did little to hide their undress and he quickly turned away.
He wanted to be annoyed, he'd been very clear about no funny business, but the way his son was holding her… it reminded him of how he used to hold Mary. Hell, he could practically hear her voice in his ear reminding him what they'd been like when they were young and dumb and falling in love. God his heart hurt thinking about her. He didn't know what he was supposed to do without her but he supposed the only thing he could do was listen to the only bit of her he had left. So, he headed right back out the door, making sure to lock it behind him before he hopped in his truck.
Maybe Joe would be awake.