Chapter 3

He held her as long as he dared before reluctantly pulling away, knowing that the time to talk would come later, when it was just the two of them. Right now there was work to do, and questions to answer. So he helped Tess stand, tightening his hold on her waist when he felt her stumble; she was leaning ever so slightly to her left, and not putting as much weight on that leg, but before he could ask what was wrong she stepped away. Only so she stood at his side, the fact that she still rested against him convincing him she was more injured than she was letting on, but it was still far enough that he wanted to pull her back. But then he followed her gaze and realized why she'd done it.

Hailey was staring at them.

Guilt immediately rushed through him. The way she looked at them, the way she looked at him… it wasn't just the pain in her eyes that broke his heart, or the knowledge that he was responsible for causing it. It was the understanding. She knew that whatever they'd had, whatever they'd been building was over now. And as much as Jay still cared for her, as much as he didn't want to hurt her there wasn't anything he could say to change that. There wasn't anything he would say. Tess was the woman he loved, the woman he had always loved and he'd learned from his mistakes. He wasn't going to let her go a second time.

"Sergeant."

He finally tore his gaze away to see her giving Voight a small dip of the chin while his Sergeant looked her over, watching how she interacted with him, how she handled herself. Taking her measure. She saw it for what it was and let him, but Jay could tell she wasn't doing the same. Because she didn't need to. And the slight furrow in Voight's brow told Jay he knew it too, and wasn't sure how he felt about it. Still after a moment he grunted quietly and gave a nod back; his apprehension was clear but he could also see appreciation, an approval of skill he didn't show to many people, and had to smother a smile. The man had no idea what he was in for.

"Tess Danvers." She said as she extended a hand, his team watching the exchange quietly but carefully. "CIA, Special Activities Centre. Former."

Former.

She'd said it almost as an afterthought but the word ran over and over through his mind, echoing like the harsh clang of metal against metal.

She'd retired? And she hadn't told him?

She'd come home… and she hadn't reached out?

His chest began to tighten, painfully so, but then her fingers brushed against his and it loosened, enough for him to take a breath. He couldn't get upset. Not only because he didn't have all the facts but because he didn't have the right to. Tess had no obligation to him, not anymore. Not after he'd let her go. This whole time she'd been out there, doing her job, saving the world and looking out for him and he hadn't done anything. He hadn't even waited. His head started to pound as a headache formed but Jay forced himself to ignore it. Now wasn't the time. He quickly brushed his fingers back, taking comfort in the shiver of relief he felt run through her, then focused his attention on his Sergeant.

"Tess and I first met during my second tour." He kept his eyes on Voight as he spoke but still felt the gentle ripple of surprise that went through his team.

His time in the military wasn't something he talked about very often, or very openly; the only person they knew from that time was Mouse, who out of respect for him had kept most of their stories private. Still for the entire time he had worked with their unit Jay had been scared his friend would mention Tess, though he'd had his doubts whether it would've been accidental or intentional, but Greg never had. He knew Jay liked to keep things to himself. But looking at his team now he found himself wishing he'd shared more. Shared anything because maybe then they wouldn't be looking at her so suspiciously. But he didn't falter. There was no one in the world he trusted more than Tess and he would bet his badge and his life that it wouldn't take long until everyone here understood why. Until they felt the same.

He knew Voight saw that in his face because his Sergeant huffed softly, his way of saying the conversation would tabled for another time, then nodded over to the Russians. "I take it they're not friends of yours?"

She gave a light shake of the head and he swore he saw her wince but it was gone before he knew for sure, or before he could guess why. Was it her injuries or his question? "Not exactly. They're Bratva. Those ones work for Ivan Shevchenko, the others for Igor Kuznetsov." She replied, pointing out each group.

"Igor? Seriously?"

Adam got an unimpressed look for the interruption but Jay caught him and Kevin sharing a smile. Of course they'd find the name funny; he could already hear the Frankenstein jokes.

"Igor Kuznetsov?" Voight repeated, everyone watching as Tess nodded. "The Igor Kuznetsov who runs guns up and down the Midwest for Alexei Genrich?" She nodded again, her face passive while his Sergeants jaw ticked. "What did he want with you?"

"He didn't. He did." She said as she motioned over to Ivan where he sat with the other remaining men, their hands all cuffed behind their backs. When he saw their attention on him he scowled and looked away, and the sight of Tess's lips ticking upwards with amusement had his doing the same. Served the man right for taking her. "I was meeting a contact at a bar downtown- he had information I can pass along to my team. As I was leaving his guys grabbed me, gave me a quick introduction to a dumpster. Far as I can tell whatever deal they had I was just supposed to sweeten it."

Voight grunted as he looked her over again, his eyes flicking to Jay when he noted the hand he still kept on her back, though he didn't comment on it. "Didn't turn out so well."

"Thanks to you." She smiled gratefully and he noticed she made sure to look at everyone, sharing the briefest glance with him before she turned back to Voight. "I'm guessing you knew about their meeting?"

He nodded but didn't elaborate, instead looked around to assess the scene. Out of the eight men they'd started with four lay dead, not counting the one in the harbour. Igor. No loss there in his opinion but he still doubted this was going to go down well with the department.

"How do you want to play this?" Tess asked quietly.

Her offer shouldn't have surprised him but it did. The woman he knew didn't take orders from anyone but then she leaned into him, so slightly and instinctually Jay didn't think she was even aware and he realized she was doing it for him. She wanted to show Voight she would follow his lead because she knew it would make things easier for him. His heart clenched so tightly he had to physically stop himself from taking her in his arms.

Especially because Voight was still taking her offer in, holding her stare for a long moment until he nodded. A palpable tension released amongst their team as he did and even Tess relaxed, the tightness he felt in her back loosening. "Come back to the district and get yourself cleaned up. I got a feeling there'll be a lovey reception waiting for us."

"Suits always show up when the party's done." She replied dryly, and he was surprised again when his Sergeant huffed in agreement.

Tonight might not have been what any of them were expecting but at least it was going well.

Voight started to give out orders, telling everyone else to stay behind until patrol and the crime techs arrived and then head home, and as he did Jay took a moment to look at Tess. The weather was slowly getting warmer but she was still only wearing a loose shirt and jeans, the soft gray of the former making her dark hair and blue eyes even more striking in his opinion. He gave her his hoodie and watched as she smiled and slipped it on, unable to help the way his fingers twitched with the desire to do it himself, and distracted himself by scanning the surrounding area for his vest and rifle. He remembered tossing them somewhere and sure enough his vest was a couple feet back, his gun a few feet in the opposite direction, near Kevin who silently picked it up and passed it over. His partner gave Tess a kind smile and him an understanding, if not curious, look and though he was grateful it didn't help to lessen the weight of everyone's stares as they followed Voight back to their vehicles. He knew they had questions, and deserved answers, but right now he didn't care to give them. The only thing that mattered to him was Tess, and what he owed her.

That feeling only intensified as he helped her into his truck and had another flash into the past, into two moments that were so similar yet so different. The sensation it brought was so strong it overwhelmed him and he knew she felt it too because they both stayed quiet as he drove off, each unsure how to broach what was between them. If he were honest Jay was having trouble believing this was real. It felt like a dream, like he would wake with the next bump in the road to find himself lying in bed reaching for her. That had happened often enough that it wasn't hard to picture. But they kept driving and he kept stealing glances at her, and the consistency of her presence began to settle something deep in his soul. She was here. She was really, finally, here.

"I'm sorry."

She was not trying to apologize. "Tess-"

"I didn't want to come back like this." She cut him off quietly but firmly and when he looked over he got caught in the strength of her gaze. In how clearly she meant it. Did she actually think there was a way she needed to come home? As if the very act itself wasn't enough? "I thought I should wait for the right moment but-"

"I don't care." He cut her off and reached over to take her hand, his heart clenching at how it still fit perfectly in his. "You came home."

That was all that mattered. Not that she came home to him, though he would be lying if he said that wasn't what he wanted, but that she came back. That she was safe. The Kit-Kats she had sent had helped to ease his worry but they were nothing compared to being able to see it for himself. It was his turn to let her see how truly he meant his words and when tears gathered at the corners of her eyes he knew she'd heard them. And now... his stomach started to flutter and he had to swallow past a sudden lump in his throat before he could speak again.

"You said... you're done?" He hated the guilt that filled her eyes at the question but he also recognized the hope, the longing for the dream they had both held for so long, and as she nodded it sent his heart racing.

"I'm done. I retired three weeks ago. I just..." Her voice started to shake lightly, as did her lips and her hand but he was frozen, clinging to her words. Waiting for the ones he needed to hear. "I wanted to come home."

That final piece clicked into place and as it did Jay closed his eyes, letting the feeling wash over him. She was now. And he would never let her go again. He couldn't help but smile as he looked back at her. "To whatever end."

Those words did more to her than he could have expected.

He saw it in the brief second before she shut her eyes, retreating inside herself to deal with the sudden rise of emotion. He also caught his first glimpse into just how deep that well ran. How dark. There was something there that wasn't his Tess, and it startled him. It frightened him. But it still wasn't enough to change the way he felt.

"Hey, Tess it's okay. Alright? Everything's okay. We're okay, okay?"

With one hand he rubbed his thumb against the back of hers and with the other he gripped the steering wheel, frustrated with having to choose between looking at her or the road. Every instinct he had was telling him to pull over but Voight was right ahead of them and Jay knew if he did so would he. And part of him was tempted to say screw it but then her eyes opened and she took his hand, cupping it in hers as the same hope from earlier filled that ocean blue, fragile but stirring, and he was hit with a wave of faith that only Tess ever brought out in him.

"To whatever end."

He let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and returned her smile, giving her hand another firm squeeze as he went back to driving, still watching from the corner of his eye as she leant back and began to look out the window. He knew there were still things they needed to talk about, stories they needed to share, but they would. They would be okay.

They would be together.