Levi sat in the seemingly lonely Mess Hall. It was dark and no candles were lit; a homage to the soldiers, perhaps. It was impossible to imagine that a place that once held so much happiness, chatter and laughter had turned into one of emptiness; a place of loneliness.

He sighed softly as he stared at his reflection in the cup of black tea. He finished the last drop, savouring the taste before standing up.

Levi seemed to be finished the grieving process much faster than others, but only because he was used to people leaving him. His mother died at a young age, followed by being abandoned by some older man named Kenny in the Underground District and countless others along the way. This loss came at the biggest shock though.

Levi would continue doing what he had always done: stifling his troubles down, lest they wouldn't bother him this way.

Hange came in not long after, wearing her military uniform but without the braces from her gear. She fetched herself a cup of water before building up the courage to talk to the man who met everyone with a scowl. "Uh… Hi, Levi. How are you doing?"

"Fine." He retorted back quickly.

It didn't take two seconds for Hange to deduce that he was the very opposite of fine, but this was common - repressing your emotions. She didn't want to press it, he was already extra sensitive and irritable as it is. He just lost his two best friends.

"You still haven't heard from Bláithín yet, have you? It's been almost a week." She said.

She noticed Levi's eyes widen for a moment, for everyone was concerned about the young girl. Every now and then, during the rare ventures from outside her bedroom, she would lock eyes with one of the elites only for her to ignore their gazes and inquisitive stares. She had shut herself away from the world. If people inquired of her condition, she would insist she was fine and go get herself a glass of water, only to return.

"If you're really so concerned about her, why don't you go talk to her?" Levi responded, coolly. Hange stared at him, mouth slightly agape. Surely he felt some sort of appreciation and cared from her somewhat, right? He knew he did too, but his facade wouldn't allow him to show it. He sighed heavily again and said, "I mean… I have seen her once or twice and she has ignored me both times. Did you give her medicine just in case she is sick?"

Hange smirked, he was definitely concerned. "Yeah, whether she has taken it or not, I have no idea. Her ribs were successfully moved back in place and her leg wounds have healed quite nicely, give that she is walking around and-"

She was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Lo and behold, it was the blonde squad leader.

And by the goddesses, she had changed. Her hair had lost its shimmer, her complexion was pale and dark purple and black shadows hung under her eyes. Most noticeable of all, she had lost an unhealthy amount of weight and a bit of muscle mass also.

Hange shot Levi a look but he was rooted to the floor, not taking his eyes off his superior. He scoffed at her helpless state but this turned into an expression of concern upon noticing how she wobbled with every step she took. It appeared she wasn't eating at all. The death of Isabel and Farlan had affected Levi and Bláithín in different ways, but it affected the blonde in ways nobody had expected.

Levi grabbed her over to him and looked into her once oceanic, blue eyes but were now robbed of their shimmer and shine, and replaced with something akin to lifelessness. His gaze was enough to ask, "Are you okay?"

She shimmied out of his grasp. "P-please don't talk to me…" she said with a laboured exhale.

He pulled her back again though, Hange coming over this time. He was pissed, pissed she let herself get to this state. He made a sound similar to a 'tch' and he placed his fingers up to her forehead. "Oi, dumbass, why are you burning up?! You've lost so much weight too, why aren't you eating anything?!"

Bláithín coughed and with a croaky voice, she said, "I'm fine… Please, just leave me alone…"

Hange came over and attempted to block her way so that she could accept the help she really needed. "You are pale, you have a fever… You are not well, Bláithín. Let us help you."

The blonde shook her head and succeeded in brushing past them. She clutched her head in one hand and coughed into the other as she walked. They stared at her, noting she couldn't walk in a straight line and within seconds, she fell to the floor, drained of energy and strength.

Levi was quick to catch her before her head hit the ground. He sighed heavily, annoyed that in his own state of grief, he had to tend to his superior. He held her up, slung her arm around his shoulder and dragged her to her room.

Just my goddamn luck, he said to himself. He could clearly tell she hadn't washed herself in a while too which was a major concern for the short male.

"Oi, Shit Glasses, bring up some wet towels and a bucket of water for me!" he called down, miffed.

"Sure thing, my darling!" she sang back.

He kicked the door open to her room. As a squad leader, she got a bigger room and didn't have to share with anyone. Just like her condition, the room paralleled it; clothes were all over the floor, some drinks of water and tea were piling up on her table (along with a mountain of paperwork) and the room was dusty. Levi groaned at the sight and laid her down on the bed. He then opened the curtains and the window, leaving sunlight filter through the blinds. He leaned on the window-sill as he stared at her.

You idiot, how could you be so careless, he said as he shook his head. He looked around the room and pulled over a stool that he saw in the corner. He sat down next to her. He gasped when he noticed beads of sweat forming on her brows and started to writhe in her sleep.

"Han-!" he had called out but the bespectacled scientist had already come into her room.

"Heeere, I am!" she announced, joyfully. But she soon adapted a serious nature for the situation at hand. Levi had his hand out to take a wet cloth and he placed it on her forehead. "She must be suffocating underneath all of this." She gestured Levi to move aside before turning around to wink at him.

"Oi, what does that mean?"

"Maybe block your eyes," she said as she moved towards the buttons of squad leader's pyjama top to change her into something looser, "I'll have to unbutton her top so that she doesn't overheat… You may find it a bit promiscuous~" she teased.

"Oh, my God, shut the fuck up. Besides, the girl is an eyesore in the state," he groaned as he covered his eyes. He tapped his foot as he waited, "Can you at least enlighten me as to what the hell is wrong with her?"

"I am pretty sure I warned her to change her bandages every few hours… I guess she got lazy which lead to her wounds becoming infected. Her body is trying to flush out the toxins. Oh, you can turn around now." She told him.

Levi pivoted around and sat on the bed. "Troublesome idiot." He muttered. He can't believe he was saying this, but watching her in this pitiful state made him want nothing more to be ordered around by her, rather than watching her like a father and a sick child. He did feel a tinge of guilt for not checking up on her though; after all, she was the only one left in this regiment whom he felt closest with. At the same time, he was disgusted at her lack of self-respect to even change her bandages.

"Leviiiii, I have to say… I reckon you have it baaaaad for Bláithín," she sang to him and he glared at her furiously. "I'm a woman too, you know? I know your heart must ache to see her so ill."

Levi snarled, "I will literally snap your neck in half if you continue."

Hange's face shimmered with glee, a toothy smile adorning her mouth. "I am quite knowledgeable after studying Titans and basic human anatomy… I know all of the sensitive spots to seduce a woman… what touches will make her fall head-over-heels in love with you."

Levi's head fell into his hands, shaking his head in dismay. Surely, there was no way he was hearing this from Hange. Yes, he had to be dreaming, had to be.

"Bláithín is quite gorgeous too, and I know that men do have their needs from time to time…" she drawled.

His teeth gnashed together in annoyance and he pulled her over by the collar. Levi knew he had to keep his composure though, he heard the unconscious squad leader murmur a few times. He let her go and mumbled a heartless an apology under his breath.

"I'm only teasing, Levi, lighten up, would ya?" she told him. "But it is normal to feel a deeper connection out of concern."

"Fine, I care about her, alright?!" he retorted. She couldn't talk if she was missing her teeth, right? Because he was considering socking her right then and there.

"Well, I always thought the doors only swung one way for you for AGES! I wasn't expecting to be so incorrect…" she mused.

Note to self, Shitty Glasses' death wish might just be granted, he said to himself.

"GIVE THEM BACK TO ME! GIVE ME BACK THE DAMN TWO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARED FOR ME! GIVE ME BACK ISABEL AND FARLAN!"

Bláithín's dream slowly washed away, like water slowly dripping from a faucet and was thus brought back to reality.

She could no longer deny it - she played a large role in Levi's late friends' deaths. If only she hadn't been so slow…

She felt everything - shame, grief, sorrow, anger - but now, she felt nothing but self-pity, but coupled with self-loathing.

She was angry at Levi. The squad's best fighter abandoned his comrades, his friends, in their time of need to go fulfil his own selfish desires. The outcome may have been better if he was there fighting with her. She felt most anger towards herself though. The death of her squad felt like a disgrace to herself; a disgrace to humanity. Had her agility and strength been better - hell, had her resolve been better to break free from the jaws of the titan she was trapped in - maybe a lot would have turned out differently.

Instead, Levi's closest friends died gruesomely, their bodies rotting away out beyond Wall Maria somewhere.

Sure, they were not experienced soldiers, but their know-how of 3DMG made them more self-sufficient compared to any of the other rookies. They could have served humanity greatly if they had came back alive, becoming formidable soldiers in return.

And now, Bláithín couldn't bring herself to leave the confines of her bedroom, too humiliated and ashamed. She couldn't bare be reminded of everyone else mourning the loss of their loved ones. Moreover, she couldn't bare look at Levi in the eyes after what she had done.

Her destructive thoughts were going to get her nowhere but lead her into a panic attack. She placed a hand on her heart and coaxed it steady and inhaled slowly. As she came to her senses, she felt a slight pressure on her hand. She saw Levi hunched over on a stool, fast asleep, gently holding her hand. The sight of him was enough to trigger the waterworks.

She savoured the warmth that his hands provided against her cold ones before propping herself up. This action caused a slumbering short male to jolt awake, grumpily. "You're not going anywhere." He warned, noting she had peeled away her duvet.

She shrank back down into her previous position. She noticed someone had changed her clothes and bandages. "How long have I been out? What happened?"

"Eight hours," he spoke curtly. "You collapsed after being so utterly incompetent at changing your bandages and lead to a nasty infection. You're probably malnourished."

She nodded. "I'll go fix myself up then," she said as she attempted to get up but Levi held her down by the shoulders and pushed her back.

"I have been ordered to mind you since you, a fucking grown-up, can't find it within herself to tend to her wounds and even eat. What the hell is wrong with you? Pull it together." He warned.

But he knew why she was doing this. The poor girl was made believe she was useless her whole life and that from the beginning, she was nothing more than a mistake. Something that should have been destroyed a long time ago. She lives with guilt day in, day out, simply for being alive. But not to this extent.

He quirked a brow and mused to himself. She's not doing this to herself on purpose, right? Would she really be so pitiful?

"Can I at least get myself something to eat?" she asked.

"You've been starving yourself all week and now you want food? Don't make me laugh. Besides, there is food on your bedside locker, courtesy to yours truly." He said.

Taking a deep, pensive breath, she said, "The sight of me must be too horrible to bare witness to at the moment. Aren't I doing you a favour?"

He shook his head in dismay. "Why?" he asked, his voice soft but blunt.

She pushed past him with whatever strength she had in that moment and got up. She hobbled over to the door with great difficulty, only for her legs to give way again. "Ugh!" she grunted. She rubbed her behind from the impact. The blonde gasped upon feeling hands hook under her arms and pull her up. "L-Levi?!"

He pulled her back to her bed wordlessly, emotionlessly. He made a gesture at her pulled back duvet and she took the instruction and got in.

"Stay there." He ordered.

"No." She huffed.

"You have no energy to even walk ten feet, so it's not like you have a choice. You are staying, it's a damn order." He told her, sternly. Funny how he was now giving her orders and seemed more responsible than her, as her subordinate too.

"Please leave me alone…"

"No, not until I can see that a nineteen year old such as yourself can be self-sufficient."

"Levi, please."

"For fuck's sake, Bláithín, if you continue to argue with me-!" He stopped. He immediately stopped when she hung her head low and her shoulders began to shake. "...Bláithín?"

She lifted her head up and she whimpered in agony. She gasped for air, her throat raspy and cried some more. Almost as though she was begging for it all to end right now.

For the first time, he saw her crumble apart and fail to fix herself. He had seen miniscule slips in her façade here and there, but it was something he'd have to take a double-take for. Now, she was slipping in front of him and all he could do was watch. After all, it wasn't within his nature to hug someone when they were upset. He was more a man of few words and actions, but even then, he used them wisely. Not for his superiors and surely not for someone he was still getting to know.

"Y-You just don't understand the pain I'm in, do you…? Oh yeah, it's not like you would. You're Levi… Do you know how much it hurts to mourn the death of people, whose deaths were a direct result of your own actions?!"

I do, was what he wanted to say. He said nothing but he in this moment, he knew she needed this moment of vulnerability. For now, he'd let her cry. She probably had been holding it all inside until now. She needed this.

"How could you know though? You're so strong and- and you do everything with precision," she continued. She removed her hands from her glossy, blue eyes. "I can't… it- it hurts, Levi… it hurts too much."

In this life, there were many things that shocked Levi, but not many would root him to his current position and render him speechless. He watched her pour her heart out, being so honest for the first time to him - her subordinate.

And it was so, so human.

To the point that Levi felt a slight twinge in his heart.

Within seconds, he was pulled down against her body in a hug. She didn't care whether he was a fan of these things or not; she just needed the comfort of someone being next to her, someone close to her, someone who may not think she is worthless after all. She relished the guilt and self-pity she felt all the while pulling him closer to her, finding comfort in the fact that he didn't fight it.

Though he was stiff in her arms, he didn't leave her go. He let her use him, just this once, if it meant she would stop crying. He didn't want to see this happen again, and the sound of her whimpers dulled his hearing and turned everything into a mere throb.

Just this once, he would let her unravel like this and use him for comfort.

Just this once would he wind himself up and worry over someone like her.

He couldn't deny that he didn't mind the close, physical connection. Her whimpers still jabbed the cold, frigid air and he allowed himself to relax fully.

Two immensely scarred people, both deprived of affection were able to find solace and comfort in each other. As he listened to her cry, he clamped his lips shut too, knowing that if he lost his composure over the same reason in front of her, it… well, he felt it wouldn't be the right thing to do.

He released himself from her tight grip after a while, noting her shallow breathing. Asleep at last.

He got up and stared at her with a hooded gaze, his heart beating a bit faster than normal after that hug. Okay, stop, he said to himself, coaxing his heart slow. He left her room and yet still, his heart wouldn't let up. I said stop, he told himself.

"...Weird." He mumbled to himself.