Sorry for the lack of updates. Life is messy and complicated. Then 2020 happened... I will never abandon this story but my god, this year was so, so tough for me. The toughest it has ever been, even without the coronavirus. (I feel like each year is tougher for me than the last one, lol.)
And without further ado, I present to you, Chapter 17.
Don't worry, we have two fun chapters coming up (or maybe it'll be one long chapter, I don't know... it's to do with a certain Captain's birthday!)
It didn't take long before the news of the breach of the Shiganshina district had reached the Survey Corps HQ in Trost. The first thousand or so civilians had sprinted to the boats tucked in tightly behind the walls of Shiganshina. The first boat was relatively small in comparison to the other boats there and could travel a bit faster.
Levi and a few others were out in the courtyard tending to a few of the horses. They had just returned from a catastrophic expedition. Within a few hours of returning, a hefty responsibility was unloaded onto Erwin from Keith. A responsibility Erwin was not sure how to handle or digest.
Erwin Smith was a strong and highly capable soldier, with a very successful track record within the Scout Regiment. Levi may have outranked him (and, well, everyone else) in terms of skill alone but it was Erwin who had the qualities of a leader and it was Erwin who could push humanity forward.
Erwin Smith had a resolve of steel and unwavering pragmatism. But was he capable of picking up the pieces Keith Shadis left behind and becoming a commander at such a young age?
Erwin looked at the ground in thought but it took merely a few moments for him to react. "Deploy the formation! We will race to Shiganshina District and help those who need us!"
The courtyard exploded into pandemonium. Soldiers rushed to get horses and stock emergency supplies. A certain raven-haired man remained rooted to the ground, his mind running rampant despite his face remaining as composed as ever. They had only arrived home hours ago and they were being pulled back into combat again. All he could think about were the good men that were going to be sacrificed today again and for what good reason? What was the point?
He didn't know how he felt.
Rage? Rage for those man-eating monsters who killed so senselessly and took awake those closest to him. His two dearest friends fell prey to those sick monsters, shoved down their suffocating, sweltering, putrescent gullets. Man, woman and child shoved down mercilessly, without a thought and knowing he had to see this all again.
Sometimes he thought that the Underground wasn't so bad after all.
Could it have been sadness? Sadness that he wasn't able to spend more time with those around him while they were alive and well? How he could have at least sat in the room with his comrades rather than hiding away in his quarters?
Concern? This was probably the feeling that predominated right now. Concern over the soldiers that would unfortunately lose their lives today, concern for the civilians who ultimately might not even make it behind the Shiganshina District.
But there was a point; there was a good reason.
The blonde who had become so special to him flashed before his eyes. Her gleaming, blue eyes that would captivate anyone but could also rain in front of those she felt most comfortable with. Her endearing chortle that was so few and far between but carried with it a beautiful tune. Her voice through the years of elocution lessons she took as a child phrased her speech. And that smile that was reserved for only a few people, Levi included.
Levi, being the stoic man that he was, was quick to break from this introspection and get himself ready. He hung the supplies on the horse and adjusted the bridle and breastplate.
He would keep his head high. Keep it high not just for the soldiers he had to fight alongside and the soldiers who had met their untimely demise, but above all else, for Bláithín.
Levi hoisted himself up and steered his horse towards his squad who were understandably wiped out after today's expedition. They had been chatting amongst themselves beforehand, a concerned look plastered on all of their faces.
"Oi." Levi beckoned and they were all quick to bounce to their feet. "I'm sure you have heard the news."
The four young soldiers rose to their feet and saluted their superior.
"Yes, sir!" they cried in unison.
"Good, prepare to-"
"Sorry for interrupting, sir, but this can't be happening," the strawberry blonde spoke, "W-We just came back."
Levi nodded. "I understand that, Petra, but Titans don't exactly sit back, have a tea party and attack when it suits us. Eld, see to it that all of your horses are ready."
Levi was going to speak when he heard hooves trotting behind him. Levi turned around and nodded at Erwin. "Levi, I want you and your squad to stay here."
Levi corked a brow. "Huh?" He squawked. "What is it you're saying, Commander?" He emphasised the new man's title in an attempt to tease.
If his squad didn't go, it wouldn't be the end of the world - and it would certainly suit them to rest after today as well. But Levi had every intention of going, whether Erwin liked it or not.
"We don't exactly know how this will pan out. Only one boat has come with citizens and it would make sense for them to stay in the townsquare for now. All of Shiganshina's residents and anybody else who can make it inside from Wall Maria will all be packed here in Trost tonight. Our main objective in this mission is solely survival and ensuring as many refugees as possible can squeeze into Trost. As such, we do not want too many people embarking on this mission. Our numbers are too low as it is and I have every intention of preserving our best soldiers."
He had to see Bláithín.
The blonde was the only person on his mind right now.
"If that's the case, why are you going? It would be better to send a few squads down to help with the evacuation." Levi argued. A rather weak argument at that, but nevertheless, he persisted.
"I am now the new face of the Scout Regiment. I can't afford not to go. I don't plan on sending any soldiers that can't be replaced."
Levi scoffed and rolled his eyes. He snapped the reins to urge his horse forward by a few steps. "Erwin, I have made up my mind. Frankly, I don't give a shit as to what you say, I'm going." He declared before aligning his horse within the formation.
"Levi, wait!" The commander called out.
As if Levi would listen to Erwin in a time like this.
Levi was good at not letting his heart govern his actions, but he noticed recently that this didn't apply if Bláithín was at all in danger. Levi was falling from the pedestal people placed him upon. All over a girl.
This was something Levi didn't like one bit.
But if he had any chance of seeing Bláithín again, he'd do it.
Bláithín held her head in one hand and Eden's in the other as she stood up. She felt very disoriented, her brain foggy. Her hearing was muffled too, like she was in a submarine. She blinked a few times and allowed her gaze to focus on everything around. She gasped audibly.
Terror... unadulterated terror.
She swooped up the toddler in her arms and looked around. She eyed her niece assessing any serious injuries. Nothing notably wrong with her, apart from a few grazes on her. Bláithín felt a bit scratched up and achy, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Eden was oddly quiet during this whole ordeal. It would have been expected she'd let her shrill cries pierce the air, but she was as quiet as a mouse. Probably trying to take in everything around her.
Bláithín began to survey everything around her.
Smoke clogged their vision and their lungs, billowing into the atmosphere. Bláithín held onto Eden for dear life as she walked forward. The soldier was not issued on what to do when one of the districts is invaded, this had never happened before! Evacuation was key, but she assumed she'd have to fight. She had only ever experienced fighting Titans beyond the wall or slaying Titans that were too close to the Walls.
Her main priority was Eden.
Get Eden to safety behind the Wall and then worry about what comes next, she told herself.
They felt the ground shake from underneath them and Bláithín looked behind her. A career filled with scarily fast reflexes prompted her to dash when she saw the boulders flying through the air. She ran towards an alley and crouched down, shielding Eden's head with her hands. Screams of bloody murder filled the air, cries of pain and agony too.
The blonde's lower lip trembled. What is happening? Why is this happening?
She knew that walking and taking their time was no longer an option with the falling rocks and debris. She picked up Eden again and ran as fast as her legs could carry her to the wall. Her heart lurched forward though as the realization dawned on her.
Poppy... where is she?!
There was no time, though, unfortunately. She shook her head and continued to run. Eden was her priority, not Poppy. She had to assume Poppy ran off in terror and hopefully found a member of the Garrison.
A few minutes of running had gone by and Eden began to wriggle and cry in her arms. The noise must have been too much for the poor child.
"It's okay," Bláithín cooed. She smiled once she saw the gates of Wall Maria. "We're almost there, almost there!"
Bláithín skidded to a halt upon arriving at the gate. Garrison soldiers were helping people evacuate at the gates while other soldiers were running around frantically and setting up the cannons. She caught the eyes of one familiar soldier.
"Hannes!" She called out.
His head perked up and when he noticed her, he ran over.
"Bláithín, long time no see." He said and saluted.
Even in times like these, his breath somehow still manages to reeks of alcohol, she said to herself.
She returned the salute. "And in the utmost unfortunate circumstances at that, too. Listen, I need you to take Eden behind the Wall," she urged. Hannes nodded and took the child from her, but not before getting a kiss on her forehead from her aunt.
Bláithín ran into the supply room located on the other side and tapped the canisters. Half empty, she noted to herself and went to go refuel. She swapped out her blades too for sharper ones. Her blades weren't necessarily dull, but she sharper the better. After a few minutes, Hannes ran back into her.
"Got her on the boat. You'll have to locate her in Trost later this evening, but a Garrison soldier will be responsible for her until then." Hannes instructed before walking away.
Bláithín felt like she could breathe a sigh of relief at that point. A Garrison soldier ran up to her and saluted her. "Miss Hahn, please help us! We need all the elites we can get!" He cried.
Bláithín nodded. "Are the Scouts coming down for backup too?" She asked as she readied her blades. The soldier nodded. She looked over at Hannes who appeared to be talking to a young blond-haired boy.
Civilians scurried past her beyond the wall to the evacuation boats. She pushed people forward whose feet seemed to be glued to the ground before taking off into the sky. This was nothing she hadn't seen before but these monsters will always be terrifying.
She only hoped the Survey Corps would be here soon, the scene was bloody and brutal and there was no way an inexperienced regiment of Garrison soldiers would hold their ground against the Titans. Not as inexperienced as the useless Military Police but no one faced Titans as often as the Survey Corps.
She flew through the air scanning her surroundings yet all she could think about was a certain black-haired man.
Is he okay? There was an expedition today, did he make it back alright?
She dove down upon seeing a Titan pick up an innocent lady screaming bloody murder. She spun mid-air adding momentum and hastily sliced the nape of the neck. The Titan's corpse crashed down to the ground and the woman was released. The woman ran up to the blonde and hugged her as she shook. Bláithín shoved her away and beckoned her to go to the gates.
Yes, he'll be fine. He always is.
For Levi, she'd slice every Titan that came her way if it meant seeing him again.
Thankfully, it wasn't long before the Scouts arrived.
With their horses kept on the other side of the Wall, they packed into Shiganshina. Erwin checked in with the Garrison soldiers to get a read on the situation and the number of people who have made it to the boats. Erwin gave the order to kill all Titans and to let none of the sons of bitches be roaming within a close vicinity of the canons.
Hange and Levi went into the supply room to fill up and change their blades. Erwin continued to speak to other high-ranking members of the Garrison and it wasn't long before he mentioned Bláithín.
"Have I seen Bláithín?" Hannes asked, "Er, yeah, not too long ago. She sometimes swings by with civilians and guides them towards the boats. Last I saw her was, gee, ten minutes ago?"
"Excellent, so we can assume she's alive." Erwin concluded.
Levi felt whatever tension, that he had no idea he was even holding onto, subside and he felt like I could breathe again. He knew his feelings were deepening for her, and it was undeniable he was starting to see her as more than just an acquaintance, or friend, even. As though he had no control over his own lips, his mouth ran away from him and asked aloud: "She didn't seem hurt, did she? She's a clumsy, little dipshit and trips over nothing."
Before Hannes could answer, Hange did, and in a way that did not match the current situation at all. "Smoochie, smoochie, Levi has a crush on Bláithín!" she squealed.
Levi's eyes widened. "Shut your mouth, Four Eyes, before I do it."
Her lips zipped themselves shut, but she did have a coy smirk still plastered there.
"She was scratched up and had a few wounds, alright, but nothing too serious. She's clumsy but she's tough as nails too."
Levi stood up once he had refilled and looked at Erwin. The new commander nodded and Levi soared into the air. He annihilated any Titan that came close to the canons, ripping through their flesh and sparing nothing. He looked behind him to see if any of the soldiers were looking at him, particularly Erwin. Noting that no one was watching him, he zipped into the air again but this time, to look for Bláithín.
Please be alright.
While he did find his thoughts more preoccupied about Bláithín lately, he still knew how to govern his mind with what was important in the moment. He swooped down upon noticing a man running from a Titan. He anchored the grappling hooks into a nearby building and went in for the kill. He sliced the Achilles tendon to slow down the Titan. The man who had fallen to his knees from exhaustion was hastily pulled up by the collar by Levi.
"If you want to make it out alive, you gotta keep running. I've bought you some time, you gotta go now!"
The man scrambled into a run and Levi turned around to finish off the Titan whose cut was beginning to heal. He anchored the hooks and jumped into the air but then a shadow flew past him and before he could register what had happened, the nape had been sliced. Levi descended to his feet again and pivoted around and he felt his heart lurch forward.
Oh, thank god.
"Levi! Are you alright?" Bláithín called out.
Levi fell into a jog and made his way over to her. "I should be asking you that. How are you holding up?"
"A bit battered and there is some shrapnel in my eye, I think, but it's okay. Where are the others?"
He took a few moments to analyse her. He was so used to her lying about how she was truly feeling, physically and mentally and he needed these few seconds to verify what she had just said. Her face was torn, blood had been trickling down from her temple and was now dried into her skin. Her face was caked and smeared with rubble and dirt and blood. He cupped her cheek and pulled down on her lower right eyelid looking for the tiny specks of metal that made their way in.
"Can't see any metal but we don't have time to play now. Are there any more Titans coming?"
She shook her head. "Not for a bit, I was standing up on Wall Shiganshina not too long ago and the next wave will be here in a few minutes. I think most civilians have made their way behind the Wall."
Levi nodded and he beckoned her to take off, their work was done for now and they were headed towards Wall Rose. She tumbled to a stop and if it weren't for Bláithín's heightened maternal instincts as of late, she wouldn't have been able to hear the cough of a child and a whimper. Levi looked at her quizzically as if to say, 'What's the hold up?' She told him to stay put and she ran around the corner.
A Titan had just been killed, she could smell the rotting flesh. It was safe for her to walk here, no Titans were about.
"Oh no..." Bláithín murmured, louder than planned, and Levi corked a brow. He made his way around the corner to see Bláithín pulling at the arms of some child. He ran over to help.
The familiar mop of black hair... the dried up, tattered daisies...
It was Poppy.
Levi rushed over to slice the arm that was snatched around the poor child's waist and more steam billowed into the air. Bláithín got the child out and cradled her in her arms. She slapped the child's cheek to get her to wake up from Death's embrace.
"Poppy... Poppy, please."
Poppy stirred in her arms and coughed up a globule of blood. The girl was bleeding so profusely from a wound in her abdomen though so it's not like she made a mess. Her face was smeared with sweat and blood, her hair knotted and tousled. Levi could only look on and walk with them both as Bláithín carried her beyond the gates.
"Poppy, can you hear me?"
Her breaths were shallow. Levi took a hold of her wrist and felt for a pulse. "It's very weak."
Time slowed and came to a halt. Right now, there were no Titans and there were no panicking civilians. It was all quiet and her surroundings muffled and tuned out. There was a buzz in her ears that she couldn't ignore but her gaze was fixed to the small, dying child in her arms.
This was a side to Bláithín Levi had never seen before - this maternal side - and though the predicament they were currently in was heartbreaking, there was something so lovely to see Bláithín be so caring to the young girl.
Bláithín walked for a few minutes with Levi in tow until they reached the base of a hill. At the top stood a weeping willow.
Perfect site for Poppy to rest.
Beneath the tree were an assortment of unplucked flowers; daisies, tulips and poppies. She laid Poppy down here and she sat beside her. Levi stood a few feet away and let her have their moment.
"Bl-Bláithín?" she croaked.
"Hi, Poppy," she said, forcing a grin to help relax the poor child. "Can you hear me?" she asked, knowing her senses were probably fading now.
"...A little... my head hurts a lot..." she said, hoarsely. She coughed some more but this time, there was less of a struggle; she was resigning herself to Death's embrace even if she didn't know.
"Yeah. You banged your head pretty badly..." she said solemnly. She held her hand tightly and squeezed it and despite it all, Poppy mustered the strength to squeeze back. "I'm here, though. You're okay..."
Poppy's eyes were beginning to shut. Her vision was becoming fuzzy and hazy and all sounds around her apart from Bláithín's gentle humming to keep her calm were becoming murky. "My tummy... it-it hurts a lot."
Bláithín gave another sad smile. "I know. It won't hurt for much longer though. When it gets too tough, close your eyes and breathe."
Poppy shut her eyes and they opened wide again to let out whatever tears had been welling there.
"Did you have fun with me and Eden...?" she asked softly, trying to make her conjure up happy memories in her final moments.
Levi was listening in and slumped down against the opposite side of the tree. He had seen soldiers die plenty of times before, he saw his two best friends die... but watching a child die hurt in a different way. He knew Bláithín must have been hurting too.
Poppy smiled weakly and she nodded. "I-I... I lost the daisy chain..."
"That's okay... I can make you another one when I see you again." She said. "Flowers don't have a great longevity as it is but even so, aren't they so beautiful?"
Levi stood up and walked around. He stared at his flower, at Bláithín.
"Bláithín... I'm sl-sleepy..."
One final smile, Bláithín, she told herself. "Why not shut your eyes. I'll be here, by your side."
Poppy's eyes shut and she let out a final tear and her last few breaths escaped her. She was a young tortured orphan with nowhere to go in life and Bláithín saw a little bit of herself in Poppy. And now... she looked so at peace. Her lips were ajar and her face was no longer taut, her body completely free.
The blonde wasn't sure what came over her once she stood up but her knees buckled and she let out a strangled sob. She fell to the ground again and let a thumb smooth over her forehead. She picked up a few of the flowers that lay around her and laid them on her tummy. Bláithín felt a weight of sorrow press her into the grass in which she knelt. Her mind clouded with pain, her heart grew cold and numb with pent up emotion. She felt clogged with pain and anger, hurt, and fear.
Anger for the world for being this way.
Anger for not searching for Poppy.
Anger for these monsters constantly taking away her loved ones.
And angry at herself when she used to constantly give up in the battlefield and let Death call her name.
Was this the anger Levi felt with her back in the hospital room?
How she longed for her cry to touch the goddesses - Maria, Rose, Sine - and have them have mercy on humanity for once.
Tears continued to spill out over her cheeks and she felt her being pulled up by the arm. Levi swiftly pulled her into his arms and she bawled and bawled. She clenched at his jacket and demanded "why, why, why" over and over and all he could do was silently listen. She allowed her emotions to swallow her whole and she mourned. With each gasp, he hugged her a little tighter and he buried his face into her mop of disheveled hair. Watching her crack and break like this made what could only be described as a splinter pierce his heart and composure.
When she calmed down, she pulled away and wiped her tears and walked down the hill.
They still had work to do. They didn't have time to be emotional right now.
Levi didn't broach her about it and he trusted that she was, for now, okay to resume her duties. "Hey." He beckoned.
She looked back at him. The sun was setting and he cursed the sky for looking for beautiful right now given the current situation. The woman before him seemed to be one with the amber and pinkish colours. "What?"
"We should head back. Can't have Erwin waiting too long," he said. "How are your blades, your gas?"
She tapped the canisters and unsheathed her blades to check on them.
Thud.
She looked back at him.
Thud.
"For the love of the goddesses, can we not have a fucking moment of peace?" he asked rhetorically.
"We gotta check." She decided. He nodded and they both propelled themselves into the air and landed on top of the wall. "Sounds way too heavy for a regular Titan." They looked on ahead and saw a 15 metre class Titan but... this one looked different. It had all-encompassing plates of armour around it and its eyes glowed. It had hair, even. It looked on at the Wall menacingly, as if it was looking to take aim. "Why does that thing look like it's going to charge...?"
"Don't be ridiculous." Levi told her to try ease her of her worries, but he saw it too.
And then it did just that.
It dug its feet into the ground and launched itself. It began to run at an alarmingly fast speed towards the wall.
"Is it going to break the-?"
Levi took her hand and they jumped from the Wall. He wasn't sure where to land but if this thing was going to destroy the Wall, it would leave a lot of damage. They landed close to the docks where people were boarding.
"Everyone, move out of the way!" he called out to people that were still making their way inside the wall. If they didn't start running now, it would be far too late.
This armoured-like Titan made a full body slam into the Wall, sending rocks into the air and crushing innocent citizens.
Everyone could only look on in horror.
"What the hell..." Bláithín murmured, eyes glued to the terrifying sight.
Erwin rode on his horse over to the two veteran soldiers. He silently checked in on their physical condition to see if they were well enough to fight some more. But even he knew there wasn't much of a point.
"With that final boat, that'll be the last of the citizens from Shiganshina to enter. I have already sent soldiers on to spread the message to the neighbouring districts."
He looked pensively ahead at the destruction and the chaos that was going to ensue over the coming days and weeks.
"Wall Maria has fallen."
Let me know what you guys thought!