Chapter 1:
A/N: This is based off of Giorno and Dio Go To McDonalds/Jolyne And Jotaro Go To McDonalds which is on Youtube, and is an amazing series! Check it out before reading this pile of shit! One-Shot with probably sequels probably, if you wanna make them PLEASE DO! REVIEW SAYING YOU DID I WANNA READDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Shinji was chilling in his room, SDAT player blasting in his ears. He was lying on his back, holding a manga straight in the air above him. He had his right leg up and left leg crossed over. The manga he was reading was about the eva-pilots.
"This is so inaccurate…" Shinji muttered, putting the manga down lightly. They had defeated the 8th angel mere days ago. There were no injuries on any of the pilots, even though they were in molten-hot magma and lava. The manga depicted the pilots inaccurately, even making Asuka's hair brown. His hands slipped off the manga, causing it to slap him in the face. He sighed heavily, causing the manga to slip higher onto his hair. He sweeped it off his head, using his arms to push him off the carpeted floor.
Asuka was huffing outside in the hallway, muttering in angry German. Shinji tiptoed quietly near his door, putting his ear onto the door. Asuka was fuming, pure anger at this point. Her highly pitched groans and insults could destroy anybody's self-esteem in seconds.
"Asshole. Standing me up on Valentine's Day. The great Asuka Langley Soryuu!" Asuka screamed coherently enough for Shinji to understand. 'Uh oh…' Shinji thought as he heard the vicious stomps come closer to him, until…
Asuka slammed her foot against the door, throwing Shinji backwards at the floor. The young boy slammed his head into the carpet, feeling a hard impact as he tensed up in pain. He started to rub his head. He opened his mouth, trying to make a sentence. Nothing came out of his mouth.
"Shinji! Get your good for nothing ass out of there!" Asuka screamed, still viciously attacking his door. The young boy began to rub his head, groaning a couple times before he had the courage to pick himself up. "I'm coming! Jeez." Shinji muttered just loud enough for Asuka to stop her kicking. He slowly watched his door slide open, watching the fiery redhead with a trail of dust dash into his room.
"Yes, Asuka?" Shinji asked, throwing his right arm up. Asuka started to speak, tapping her foot at a steady pace on the ground. "I just got stood up on a date."
Shinji apologized to the demon in front of her, watching her go from anger to angrier.
"Idiot! Stop apologizing it's so fucking annoying!" Asuka screamed, Shinji began to brace. The blows never came. He looked up, Asuka had her hands on her hips, leaning down at him. "We. Are. Going. To. McDonalds. Now." Asuka slowly pronounced. She flinged Shinji up, dragging him outside. Shinji followed her, trudging slowly after his fellow pilot. Asuka threw Shinji into a light purple car, not too flashy. Shinji began to argue at this point, starting to panic.
"Asuka. Firstly, how did you get this car?" Shinji asked, lightly tapping her shoulder. She snapped her neck at him, giving him a glare. "Idiot, this is an emergency NERV car. Did you not listen to anything?" Asuka insulted, starting the engine. "You can drive?" Shinji questioned, raising his eyebrows. Asuka retorted instantly, "I'll be honest. I have no fucking clue. If we die then we die having fun?" Asuka smiled, throwing the car into reverse.
Shinji felt his heart fly out of his chest, buckling in instantly. 'Fuck, I'm roadkill.' Shinji thought, starting to bite at his nails. Asuka slammed the accelerator, throwing both of the teens back in their seats. Asuka got out of the apartment complex, flying onto the road. Asuka cheered as she swerved around, avoiding cars narrowly. The driver scoffed, looking at the boy beside her. "Idiot, I told you I can-" Asuka started rambling, Shinji's mind began to run. 'Asuka, eyes on me, road. Road eyes, EYES NOT ON ROAD!' Shinji's mind punched himself, "ASUKA, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!" Shinji screamed, Asuka panicked as she slammed into a trashcan on the left. Several bags of trash ripped open, causing a flurry of expired food and packaging to go flying everywhere. Asuka kept on going, cheering as she cleared more obstacles, (cars) getting angry honks everywhere.
The pilots stopped at a red light, Asuka looked to her left, watching a pickup truck driver move his eyes at the young driver.
"Are you sure you are old enough, miss?" came from the pickup truck, it was a raspy voice, but kind-hearted. Asuka scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yes, I am. Mein Gott."
The light turned to blue, allowing Asuka to slam the accelerometer to pass the pastel blue truck. Shinji yelped, "Please stop!"
Asuka turned to him, "No. Now, get out of my way you idiot." Shinji tensed up, his throat dried up. The car slammed into a bike, causing a bystander to do a triple double, landing perfectly with his totaled bike. "Asshole!" he screamed, pointing to his phone.
"Asuka… he's calling the cops…" Shinji whispered, looking down at the floor. "Wow, this floor is made out of floor…" His legs started to bounce uncontrollably.
Flashing lights and an unmistakable siren was behind them, Asuka pulled over next to the sidewalk. An officer ran over, a slight police intercom played over the walkie talkie. "License and regi-, I, uh-." The officer stuttered, extremely confused and his eyes widened at the sight."
Asuka started, putting up his finger. "Well, I. Fuck." Shinji began to dial a number in his cell-phone. "If only driving a car was as easy as evangelion piloting…" Asuka whispered. Shinji began to talk to the dialed number, "Misato. I think I'm about to die :D." He whispered into the phone, Asuka snatched it. "Bye, Misato!" she hung up, throwing it into his lap.
Asuka and Shinji were in the police station, waiting for a guardian to pick them up. Misato ran into the station, giving a death glare at Asuka.
"Dead." Misato muttered, dragging them both out of the police station. All of the police officers watched as the young boy compiled while the redhead screamed and fought all the way out.
"Asuka, what were you thinking?" Misato asked, throwing her into the car. Asuka was silent the whole ride, not showing emotion. Not even anger. "We were going to McDonalds." Shinji told Misato, "Ok, lovey-dovey, I see." Misato sighed, doing a full 180, being even more crazy than Asuka at driving. "Firstly, no. We aren't on date, I would never with this wimpy asshat. Secondly, I'd argue that you are driving even WORSE." Asuka screamed, shouting several curses at Misato. Misato turned to the back seat, stretching out the seatbelt making a large clank sound. "Atleast I am an adult with a license." Misato told her, squinting at her. "What if both of you got into an accident and died? The angels are just like, oh they don't have any pilots left? Let's wait!"
The car slammed back, hitting a nearby tree causing a family of squirrels to scatter around the park. Misato turned around, watching Shinji's eyes dart around.
"Okay, kids. So the lesson today. In this situation, we… run." Misato told them, booking it out of the car. Shinji whined, running after Misato, Asuka tagging behind him. They caught up to Misato, pulling her back. "Nah, nah nah nah." Asuka wagged her finger, ranting at Misato. Shinji turned around, "Hm, we're at McDonalds."
"How did that work out?" Asuka questioned, Shinji replied quickly. "I don't know, FanFiction placement?" Asuka looked bewildered, a question mark visibly appearing above her head. Shinji ran in, Asuka was in a mental confliction before she felt her body run to the fast food place. Shinji and Misato were in line trying to order food already, making a mental note of everything.
"Find us a seat please!" Misato cheered, trying to avoid the consequences of crashing a fucking car into a tree. A public park tree at that.
Shinji moved out of line, gesturing to Misato to order. "Asuka, so um. You- ok?"
Asuka took a really deep breath, pushing her hands together. "NO! I AM NOT! THIS DAY HAS GONE TO SHIT! I JUST WANTED A RELAXING DAY WHERE I COULD HAVE FUN! FUCK ALL HAD TO HAPPEN! I WAS STOOD UP. YOU STILL COULD SHOW SOME REMORSE I SWEAR-." Asuka ranted on to Shinji, who was tuning her out pretty quickly. 'What if I threw the table at her?' Shinji thought.
Misato was at the front of the line, noticing a strand of blue hair. "Rei?"
"Major Katsuragi. Hi, what would you like?" Rei asked her, putting her finger to the ordering screen. "You got a job here?" Misato asked, hearing a loud scream from behind her. Asuka was fuming, screaming at the top of her lungs. "Sorry, that's Asuka…"
Rei stopped her, not looking over at the nuclear explosion that was happening in the back. "No matter, please order."
Misato gave her order, creeping under the black tape, booking it over to the red dragon that was attacking the McDonalds. Shinji was politely sitting in the booth with his hands together on the table. Asuka stopped her ranting, Misato started to sit down, "Hey!" Asuka screamed, "My seat!"
Asuka leapt over, kicking Misato off. "Wow, you said you hated me." Shinji whispered, Asuka snorting. Misato went to the other side of the table, "I didn't know you guys were a couple." Misato teased, hand on her mouth. Asuka punched Shinji in the ribs, "No. We aren't."
Misato started to pipe up again, "You know Rei works here." Asuka leaned forwards, "Wondergirl? Psst, she would never get a job."
Shinji turned over, tapping Asuka on the shoulder, "Well then I have no clue who that person over there is, cause that is Ayanami." Asuka turned, almost completely taken over by laughter. "Wow."
Shinji started to think a bit, 'Where's the food?' Hikari and Toji swung the door open, jumping into line. Asuka yelled out, "Hikari! Why are you with a stooge?" Toji turned, "You realize you are right next to Shinji? Right." Asuka turned, slapping Shinji. "Difference!" Shinji rubbed his face, holding his blood-red cheek.
Asuka was asleep at the table, head on Shinji's lap. Shinji sighed, it's been 30 minutes since Misato ordered. Toji and Hikari were in the booth next to them, "Yo, Shin-man, have you got your food yet?" Shinji nodded a no, waiting for an eternity. Misato stood up, "I want my food, come on…"
Rei was there, but there were no kitchen staff. "Screw it." She snuck into the back, cooking burgers and fries. She put them out, taking her order and taking it to Shinji. Shinji woke Asuka up, shaking her. "Pervert! Get off me!" Asuka screamed, pushing herself off of Shinji. Shinji nodded, taking out a burger. Shinji took a bite, spitting it out instantly. "AW! This shit is ugh." Misato widened her eyes, "Ngh."
Asuka had the same reaction, "Who the hell made this? It tastes as shit as Misato's food!" Shinji gagged, "I think I'm going to be sick." Misato groaned, "My cooking isn't that bad."
Shinji and Asuka looked up at her, still in sync from training. "You made this?!" they screamed, "God!"
Both of the pilots got up and started to walk from the table, walking past Hikari and Toji. Shinji shuttered a bit, "Shit, that was horrible." Asuka told Shinji. The boy was feeling sick and dizzy. He collapsed, falling onto the floor next to Misato.
"Call an ambulance!" Toji scrambled over, pulling out his phone.
Shinji was rolled out on a stretcher, face bright green. Misato was next to his stretcher, apologizing to the young pilot. Shinji put his hand on Misato's shoulder.
"Fuck you." Shinji whispered, giving her the finger as he was rolled into the ambulance.
A/N: I hope you liked this spinoff of BragonGod's video! It was nice to do a one-shot, but I kinda like the long story progression. This is a comedy, so laugh. NOW.