Dana and Aaron were standing in the Colosseum of Losers, both wearing scowls on their faces as the BFFFLs, who still hadn't gone home, were admiring the Trampoline of Shame. The two giggled as they flicked at it, watching the rubber bounce a little. The two hosts glanced between each other, sharing a nod before they shoved the two of them forward onto the trampoline, causing them to bounce off of it and go flying into the distance. "Ve did what ve had to do." Aaron dusted his hands off, turning away from the trampoline as the two girls squealed in the distance.
"Yes, yes we did. I really didn't expect them to be…well, that annoying, I guess." Dana shrugged her shoulders before her knees suddenly wobbled. "Er…I'm feeling kinda dainty right now…you should totally carry me back to the hotel!"
"A-ah! Vell, I suppose I could do zat, Miss Dana, but I really don't-" Dana, of course, didn't let him finish his sentence, and quickly hopped up towards his back, causing him to instinctually catch her. "Oh…if Vater saw me doing zese zings on television he would be most disappointed vith me. I'm sorry, Vater!" Aaron cried out his remorse, which honestly made Dana pity him.
"I-in any case, let's get on with the intro, right? Last time, on Total Drama: Scrap Island!" Dana looked towards the camera while Aaron began the hike back to the hotel with her on his shoulders. "Things were getting a bit crazy when Calvin tried to show his newfound evidence to his partner in crime, or should I say, partner against crime, Blaster! However, being her nutty self, the importance of his finds really didn't click with her. Valerie totally flirted with Teddy…like, a lot. I mean, he definitely wasn't into her, but I don't think she's gonna take no for an answer. She can be quite scary when she's angry, as we have all seen before. Aaron happened upon Vernon in the-"
"NEIN!" Aaron snapped up at the girl, a horrifically embarrassed look on his face. She giggled while he stared up at her, rolling her eyes before skipping over that part.
"Vernon just so happened to drop his newly found spider idol in the bathroom, no reason at all as to why that is. Unluckily for him, Caleb was the one who happened to find it, later reporting this lucky find to his ally, Margaret. Oh, and Max assaulted Mitzy with a donut. That was…well, it was interesting, to say the least. We moved on to our challenge, where the two teams had to keep two of the most obnoxious people in the world separated from each other. Katie didn't take so well to being stuck down with the Squirrels, but Sadie had a much better time with the Dingos, especially when Vernon revealed his soothing voice and guitar skills. Ahhhh…" Dana had a dreamy look on her face, catching Aaron's eye. He cocked an eyebrow in question, causing her to blush and cross her arms. "Don't look at me like that, Aaron! You don't know nothing about nothing, so just watch the road! A-ahem…Anyway, Katie ended up escaping her bunker thanks to Brittany encouraging Blaster to open the door so she could go pee. Blaster was going to get eliminated, but then something really strange happened and she just…well, vanished! Seriously, I tried to rewatch the footage and it's like it has been edited out…we even called her family, but they say she just went home. It was really odd…in any case, we'll have all the more drama to be enjoyed tonight, on Total Drama: Scrap Island!"
The camera suddenly flew into the sky, being struck by a massive chunk of debris and knocking it back to the ground, only to be picked up by a cute, blue and silver striped robot with one wheel that it used to move.
"Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine," the robot pointed the camera at Theodore at a cafeteria table, pounding down energy drinks like a champ, his eyes twitching from the caffeine while Larida looked concerned for his health.
"You guys are on my mind," at a nearby table, Ronnie was arm wrestling Mitchell, winning easily and slamming him straight through the table, causing Celeste to run over and start screaming at the powerhouse.
"You asked me what I wanted to be and I think the answer's plain to see," the robot wheeled its way out of the cafeteria, showing a junkyard with Vernon scribbling something down in silence and Ivy looking over his shoulder to peek at it, until Blaster popped out of one of the garbage piles, scaring him and making his papers fly off into the sky.
"I wanna be famous!" Vernon ran after his papers, leaving Ivy behind in confusion, eventually passing by Margaret and Daniel as they were making out while surrounded by four intense looking mafia thugs, one who spotted the camera and chased after it.
"I wanna live close to the sun," the robot wheeled away from the mafia goon, passing by Zane and Bunny, the latter who was bugging the boy by holding a mic up to his face, which he tried to shove away.
"So pack your bags, cause I've already won," Fridge carried Caleb on his shoulders across from Aaron, who had Dana on his own shoulders, the two up top slapping at each other as the robot passed by.
"Everything to prove, nothing in my way, I'll get there one day," as the robot continued to roll around, it finally made its way out of the junkyard and to the remnants of Cali-Tokyo, where Buck was attempting to profess his love to Yves, who was all flustered by the gesture.
"I wanna be famous!" Nearby, atop a pile of rubble, Brittany was making fun of Valerie, who let out a sigh and pushed her off the pile and onto the ground.
"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na," near the pile, there were some barrels of toxic waste, which inspired Mitzy, who scribbled something down on a blank sheet while Alice was absolutely appalled by the sight.
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!" CJ was being chased by a massive and terrifying robot with six legs and two clawed arms, which then noticed the robot with the camera and chased after it, causing it to drop the camera.
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!" The camera feed cut to the aftermath stage, showing Calvin trying to kiss Max, who, out of embarrassment, belched right in his face.
The two were soon shoved aside by Capone, who rolled his eyes at them, while Sunny, next to him, waved happily to the camera with a huge smile on her face. Maggie popped up between the two of them, an acoustic guitar around her back, hugging them both tightly and snickering while the camera panned out to show the whole cast sitting in the risers, with the little robot sitting next to Caleb, and Franchesco standing off to the side with a glare fixed on Maggie.
Ronnie was walking outside, alone, as he typically did, though there was just something about his demeanor that was…well, a bit out of sorts. He had his fists clenched, and seemed to be breathing rather aggressively. Truly, huffing and puffing. There was a clear destination in his sights, that being the mysterious water tower, the very one that he had conspired with a shady figure at before. "Gonna give this man a piece of my mind, I swear to God." The boy grumbled to himself before entering the secret lair that was beneath the tower. "Hey, man! I know you're down here, brooding in the dark! You better bring your candy ass out here, or Imma find you and drag it out here myself!"
As the athletic boy touched down against the rock beneath the ladder, the lights flickered on, revealing the rocky structures from before, all spread apart. The man in the tin suit from before propelled himself over to the boy, using his rocket boots. "What's got you in such a twist? I've got better things to do than to listen to you complain about nonsensical things! Comrades, do please forgive me for this boy's intrusion!" Further back in the lair, where the computers were, there were another five figures…each of them wearing a cloak to cover their identity.
"McLean, cut the fancy talk and the mask, we're going face to face for this!" Ronnie shouted at the man, who promptly landed on the rock pillar that he was standing on. He took his helmet off, revealing that he was none other than Chris McLean, devilish host that had gotten kicked off of the island previously. "That's more like it…now, what the hell, man!? We had a deal and you didn't hold up your end of the deal!"
"Eh, remind me what the deal was?" Chris looked down at the wrist of his suit, which seemed to be like a smartphone of sorts. He was playing a retro game on it…at least he was until Ronnie pressed a button on the suit, causing it to shut off. "Come on, man! I was seriously on the last level there!"
"Man, I don't care about your stupid game, I care about our deal! I promised to help you sneak onto the island and to give you Dana's schedule so you could have your little revenge or whatever, and you promised to keep my ditzy rival safe from being eliminated!" Ronnie crossed his arms, a vein looking as if it was about to burst on his forehead. "Lo and behold, she done went and got herself eliminated on some stupid shit!"
"Hm…I guess I just forgot about that whole thing. Whoops." Chris shrugged his shoulders, which Ronnie didn't take too kindly to. He grabbed the host by his suit, throttling him a bit and causing him to get very dizzy. "Bah! Whatever, the deal is up and all that…I don't need you to give me info anymore, anyways. I've got my squad here, now, so this is sure to be over quickly and suddenly. Right, guys?"
"You said it, Chris!" The largest figure among the group behind him held a thumbs up to the host. "This will be so cool to tell Damien about! Man, I get to be a big green monster that gets angry and smashes a bunch of stuffs."
"Benjamin, Benjamin…you're not supposed to talk about what you're going to do in front of the contestant. I may just have to kill you, for that." One of the other figures held a knife out to the big one before chuckling and pulling it back into his own cloak. "I'm kidding, of course…I would only kill you if I was getting paid for it."
"Can you two shut up!?" Chris looked back at the group, a scowl on his face. He let out a sigh before turning back to see that Ronnie was climbing up the ladder. He shrugged his shoulders as he left his sight.
"Stupid, washed up host breaking his stupid deal, can't believe that son of a bitch." The athletic boy made his way back up to the ground level, kicking the dirt as he walked. "Heh, he wants to get his stupid revenge on Dana, I'll just make sure his dumb plan fails! I don't need anyone's help to show an old man that he shouldn't cross me!" Ronnie chuckled to himself, shaking his head as he continued to walk through the open field. "Just you wait, McLean. Imma be laughing when your plan falls flat."
Confessional
"Chris may be wearing a teched out soup can, and he may have a couple of goons on his side, but that sure ain't nothing that can beat me." Ronnie had his arms crossed as he stared dead into the camera lens, an intimidating gaze emanating from his eyes. "Damn straight he's gonna feel sorry about backing out of the deal."
Confessional End
Max hummed to herself as she walked around in the cafeteria, grabbing as many plates as she could to fill with food from all the cupboards, the fridge, the freezer, everywhere. She always seemed to be a bit too hungry for her own good, something that astounded Calvin and Celeste to some degree still. The two of them sat at one of the tables, watching her with utter shock in their eyes. "Do you think…do you think she's just never full?" Celeste leaned over to Calvin to whisper her question to him. "That's gotta be the explanation for it…maybe she has a tapeworm?"
"I don't think Agent Grayson has a tapeworm, Agent Sallow. I believe she is just one hungry lady." Calvin couldn't help but sink into a smile as he watched the girl gathering her plates, something which brought a smile to her own face. He glanced over to see that she was grinning at him, a bit confused. "...Any particular reason you're grinning at me like I've been saying I don't like hamburgers and you just found me stealing hamburgers from a vault after hours at a fast food place?"
"You like Max, don't you Calvin?" Calvin was a bit taken aback by the sudden question, blushing as he tugged at the collar of his sweater. "You totally do! Ah, this is just too perfect! Way too perfect!" Celeste got up from her seat, clapping her hands like the happy little camper that she was. "Oh, man! It's so sweet, so funny, but so sweet!"
"What are you talking about, agent? You're not making any sense here, just accusing me of this…random attraction and suddenly dancing around like you're insane. Perhaps you ate something bad, do you need to get your head checked out?" Celeste could only giggle to herself as she skipped out of the cafeteria, leaving the secret agent at the table, alone. Well, alone until Max came over and sat down across from him, four plates full of food in her possession.
"Where'd the tiny one go?" Max asked the boy before grabbing a slice of pizza and shoving the entire thing into her mouth, crust and all. He stared at her, dumbfounded for a moment before realizing that…well, something like that was pretty common for her to do.
"Er, not sure, exactly. Agent Sallow was saying some weird things before she just got up and left out of the blue. Stuff about people liking people and all that, I never will understand that girl." Calvin rubbed the back of his head, soon noticing that Max had stopped eating and her jaw had dropped out of shock. "W-what's the matter, Agent Grayson? You look upset…or frightened? I don't know, but you don't look right."
"S-she was talking about people liking other people? That's…w-well, that's not worrying at all." The girl soon started mumbling to herself, just quiet enough that Calvin couldn't really hear what she was saying. "Not like I didn't want her to tell you about that, or anything…"
"Huh?" Calvin leaned towards her, holding his hand to his ear to see if he could hear her better. "You were kinda mumbling there, agent, couldn't particularly make out what you were saying. Mind repeating that? Maybe saying 'over' when you're done talking…you know, just for added insurance."
"What was it exactly that she told you?" Calvin leaned back in his seat, tugging at his collar again when she posed the question. "I really need to know, or it's gonna be eating at me all day…and I'm supposed to be the one who eats at things, not the other way around!" Max slapped her hand against her gut, boasting her usual proud smile, though it was a bit more shaky than usual.
"Er…well…she was pulling out these accusations and stuff…about me maybe fancying you a bit more than I fancy the other agents." Calvin blushed a bit as he mentioned it, and Max sighed out of relief. "Of course, I would never disclose such personal information with her…or anyone, for that matter! I'm a man of many secrets, and anything that is personal or important won't leave my lips, not to anyone!"
"I see…how very curious!" Max grabbed another slice of pizza, which she immediately shoved into her mouth again, starting to talk before she swallowed it. "Wht f I ws th n skng yu abt ll tht stuff?" Calvin looked at her with a puzzled look on his face, having not understood a single word that she said to him. She swallowed the slice, immediately belching obnoxiously after, though he didn't even wince at this. "Sorry bout that! I was saying, what if I was the one asking you about all that stuff? Like if you liked, or fancied, me or whatever?"
"W-well…I still can't just disclose that! An agent needs to always be focused and dedicated to keeping his secrets under lock and key! No chance that I'll let it fly, not a chance at all!" Max giggled a bit at his dedication, soon turning back to her food and chowing down like she usually did when she was starving.
Confessional
"Could you imagine if Calvin has got a thing for me? I mean, that would be just so…well, awesome!" Max beamed, dancing a little bit as she sat down. "Of course, I can't just tell him if he's not just gonna tell me! Two can play at the secrets game, Mr. Cute Agent Man!"
"...No, of course I'm not just gonna tell the confessional camera about how I feel! I know you're watching, Agents Starshine and Mayer!" Calvin pointed at the camera as he glared into it.
Confessional End
Fridge was sitting down in one of the bedrooms, although it wasn't his own. He looked around to see lots of odd posters…each of them seeming to be wins in chess tournaments. There was always a disappointed player on one side of the board, though the other player must've left their own chair, considering that they couldn't be seen in a single one of the pictures. Maybe they were just too small to be seen? It really was a mystery that we may never have the answ- "I'm not that short, you narrator asshole!" Oh…that kid. "And I'm not a kid! I am one hundred percent man, bitch! Gosh!" Caleb snapped at seemingly no one as he entered his own room, leaving Fridge a bit confused.
Behind the boy was Margaret, who had a tablet in her hands, one that she was watching a video feed on closely. Of course, the video had Daniel on it, which was to be expected at this point. He had recently discovered where the camera that her goons had set up was, and at around this time, everyday without fail, he would play his guitar for her. She smiled sweetly at the screen as she watched it, tucking the tablet behind her back when he finished playing. "So, fellas, is everybody here? I'm a busy woman, I don't have time to wait on anyone." She sat down on Caleb's bed while he leaned up against his desk, which was in the corner of the room.
"Not yet…we're still waiting for-"
"I'm heeeeeere!" Brittany burst into the room, doing a happy little dance. She spun around a bit before hopping onto the bed and sitting right up close to Margaret, much to the mobster's disgust. "I'm sorry, I was just so busy celebrating my big win from the last episode! You all remember that, right? When I got that idiot, Blaster, eliminated! Aren't I just the best?"
"Oh you're something, alright…" Margaret rolled her sleeves up before cracking her knuckles, ready to knock Brittany's teeth out, though Caleb waved her off to tell her to calm down. "If it wasn't for this alliance, I would've had you pummeled by my boys for sacking my friend. And don't even get me started on what I would've done if she didn't tell me ended up back home after she was kidnapped. You would've been spilling your guts in the most literal meaning possible, uptown girl."
Brittany gulped nervously, scooting a bit away from Margaret, who crossed her arms firmly. "We're like a dysfunctional family…oh no!" Fridge slapped his hands against his face, looking at Caleb with fear in his eyes. "Don't tell me that you and Brittany are getting a divorce, Friendleb! I don't wanna have two Christmases, I just wanna be with the whole family!"
The pair stared at Fridge like he was insane before Caleb cleared his throat. "Fridge, me and Brittany aren't even married to begin with."
"...Oh. So…I'm adopted!?" Fridge got down on his knees and slammed his fist on the floor, sobbing loudly in a horrific display. "This can't be, this just can't be! All those baseball games you took me to were fake then, right? Don't lie to me, dad! If I can even call you that anymore!"
"...Fridge, what the fuck, man. No, I'm not your dad, I never took you to any baseball games, and Brittany is not your mom. I don't know if you're adopted, and I really don't give a shit. We're 'friends,' remember?"
"...Oh yeah." Fridge got up from the ground, wiping the tears from his face before sitting himself back down in the chair. "So, then…what are we all doing here?"
"We're here because the smart people, me…and I guess Margaret, too, need the not so smart people…or the person, being you, Fridge, to do a little investigation for us." Caleb looked at Fridge to see that he was blankly staring at him, almost as if he didn't understand a single word that he had said to him. "Okay, dumbass, how about this? Why don't you go see if you can start making friends on the other team? I'm sure they would love to be friends with a big hulking idiot that breaks everything he steps on."
"Oh, I love making friends! That's why I have you, Friendleb! Sure, I can make as many friends as you want! I'll make a hundred of them!" Fridge immediately turned to look at Brittany with a huge smile on his face. "Brittany, do you wanna be my friend?"
"NOT BRITTANY, YOU MONGREL!" Caleb rushed over to Fridge, grabbing him by the face and squeezing him. "Listen…the other people on Brittany's team need friends. All of them wanna be your friend, okay? And if you find one that doesn't want to be your friend, why don't you just come and tell me about them, okay?"
"Oh, yeah! I can do that! I can do a really good job of that, too!" Fridge leapt up from his chair, causing Caleb to fly back, landing in Brittany's lap. "Don't you worry, I'm great at making friends! I won't let you down!" With that, the giant boy left the room, stomping with each little step. He opened the door to duck down through it, slamming it shut behind him, entirely by accident. The three could still hear him trudging away, even through the walls.
"So…why exactly are you two making him do that?" Brittany asked as she shoved Caleb off of her lap. "I mean, that seems kind of pointless, considering we've got an alliance of four members already. Also, what the hell!? Why aren't I one of the smart ones!?"
"Because, Caleb over there decided that you should be the 'hot one.' I personally find your outfits tacky, but that's just me, I suppose." Margaret shrugged her shoulders, getting a glare back from the peppy girl.
"The goal is obviously to see which members of the team are smart enough to not make friends with people from the other team, of course! It helps us figure out who we need to work against…and once we take those people out, we'll be unstoppable!" Caleb evilly laughed to himself, both of the girls smirking about the idea.
Confessional
"I mean, it's so obvious that I'm the hot one! I should've known, I'm just as ditzy as Blaster sometimes, I swear. Caleb really does know how to flatter a girl when she deserves it!" Brittany beamed at the simple compliment, ignoring the fact that she was being seen as dumb in comparison to the other two.
"I can make one…two…three…what number comes after three?" Fridge looked at the camera in question, honestly forgetting how to count past three. "Uh…a lot of friends!"
"This is going to be so easy…this season, I'll rightfully weasel my way into the merge! Of course, the finale is only a hop, skip, and jump away from that point!" Caleb laughed maniacally again, eventually choking on his own laughter.
Confessional End
Yves was walking from her room to Buck's, but as she went to twist the doorknob, she stopped in her tracks. It felt like someone was watching her…and there was only one person that she could think of that would possibly do that. She turned around to see Zane standing further down the hallway, flipping his Sandstorm Squirrels' coin in one hand while he smiled at her. "Yves, nice to see you checking on Buck while he's taking his second daily 'Oop, I Passed Out' nap."
"Of course I'm checking on him…he's my boyfriend, and I'm worried about him." The girl crossed her arms, leaning against the door rather than walking over to him to talk. "I don't get why you have to watch me do everything…you must really not trust your teammates in the slightest."
"Have all of my teammates given me a good reason to trust them? Well, most have, but I must say, there is always that one that has to be difficult." Zane sighed, catching the coin in his palm and covering it with his other hand. "Tell me, Yves, what side do you think the coin landed on? Hm?"
"...I don't know, heads?" Yves shrugged, not too interested in the question.
"It can't be heads, it most certainly has to be tails. You know how you can tell? It's a nifty little trick I learned a while back to deal with shifty, sleight of hand magicians. Whichever side is up at the apex of the toss will be the down side when it lands." Zane lifted his hand, grinning as he saw the result. He showed the coin to Yves, who saw that it was tails, indeed. "See? That's never failed me before."
"What if it bounces on the floor or rolls away? Or what about a coin that is on its side while at its apex?" Yves rolled her eyes at the boy, still crossing her arms tightly.
"Well, it isn't a fair coin toss if something on the outside affects it, is it? And if it is on its side, I suppose it could land on either side. It's like people, if you think about it…every single one of them could end up landing on different ends of a spectrum. Morally right, morally wrong, see what I'm saying?" Yves was a bit lost in the boy's words…if anything, he always was a smooth talker. "Point is, you've got two options in a game like this…to do the right thing, and earn your teammates' trust…or to do the wrong thing, and not be trusted."
"So, you're saying that I'm doing the wrong thing? That's why you don't trust me? Pfft, like I need your trust or respect, anyways." She was entirely offended by his talk, spitting her words out even harsher than she was before.
"You may not see what you're doing as the wrong thing…but you can't lose trust by doing the right thing, here." Zane tossed the coin back up into the air, but when it started to fall down towards his hand, he pulled his hand back. "Because the second you can't be trusted…" The coin fell all the way to the ground, rolling away when it struck. It rolled all the way into a vent, disappearing from sight. "...Is the second that your team is no longer there to catch you." Yves gulped nervously as the coin had vanished, seeing what he was driving at. "It may not be this toss, or the next toss, but eventually, that hand is gonna pull away."
"...So what? I don't need to take all this philosophy from you, we hardly talk to begin with. Maybe I don't trust you…what if that's the case, then?" Yves finally stopped crossing her arms, seeming to be a lot more uneasy than she was previously.
"I suppose you could be like that…but what have I done that shows I don't deserve trust?" Zane was entirely impossible to intimidate, the smile on his face not leaving, not even for a second. "I'd like to consider myself a fair player in all of these games…I don't do anything wrong just because I can. I simply encourage others to play the game just as fairly as I do." Yves didn't flinch at his statement, so he tucked his hands back into his pockets and shrugged. "Guess I can't get through to you. A shame that is…" He started walking down the hall, passing her by without even glancing at her. "I'll see you during today's challenge, Yves." And, just like that, he continued on his way, leaving her behind.
Confessional
"...That guy just leaves me feeling sick to my stomach every time he talks to me. All his talking and watching…how could he not be up to something shifty?" Yves was tossing the blame around, as she usually did, though, deep down, she knew that he was right.
Zane pouted in the confessional, a sight that was most unusual for him. "...I really liked that coin."
Confessional End
The hustle and bustle started to calm down a bit, as everyone had left the hallways to retreat to their rooms or elsewhere. Of course, it was the optimal time for the speakers to spark up. "All survivors, I hope you're geared up and ready for a challenge…probably best not to do this one on an empty stomach, either! You've got thirty minutes to snack for a bit before meeting us outside in front of the hotel! Don't be late, and don't be starving!" Dana's voice cut out after her announcement, and the two teams were quick to hop to their feet and start heading for the cafeteria…well, at least the members that were hungry. Max, of course, was the head of the line to get food, and she was loving it. Chips, pudding, chocolate, she didn't care, she was just gobbling down anything in sight. It frightened pretty much everyone who saw…except for Calvin, who smiled as he watched her, and Celeste, who continued to grin creepily at the agent himself.
Of course, after the trip to get their food, they all met outside, where they saw a rather…peculiar sight. Dana and Aaron stood in front of a large, rectangular table, one that was covered with a lumpy, white sheet. Ivy stood next to the table, yawning while she waited for the ball to get rolling. Behind the table, there were two stations…each equipped with a large, prep table, and a grill. "Dana? What is all of this stuff?" Buck yawned after he asked his question. "Kinda looks like yer fixing to have a cookout…man, I ain't been to a cookout with my folks in a long time now…"
"Please…please tell me that there is a whole bunch of food stuffed under that sheet that you're just hiding from us but we get to eat later." CJ got down onto his knees and was practically begging, a sight which was quite amusing for the hosts.
"V-vell, not exactly, CJ." Aaron stepped forth, nervously, of course. He had gotten just a bit better at the hosting thing, but some parts still didn't come quite naturally to him. "You see, as Miss Dana explained to me earlier, in zhe apocalypse, it's not always easy to get your hands on a good meal. So, because of zhis, people often have to make due with whatever scraps zey are able to find…und vherever zey happen to find zose scraps." The co-host turned to nod to Ivy, who gladly pulled the sheet from the table, exposing a massive assortment of…well, dirt. It was all dirt, for the most part, a sight that shocked, and disgusted, the lot of the contestants.
"...T-there's gotta be some spuds 'er something under all that, right?" Buck nervously chuckled, still having a bit of energy about him, since he had only recently awoken from one of his naps. "That's an awful clever idea, hiding taters in there."
"...Vell, I vouldn't say zat zere is potatoes in zis dirt. Ve did put a lot of different zings in zere." Aaron walked to the table, scooping up some of the dirt in his hand, revealing that there was a singular chicken wing in it…completely coated in dirt, of course. "Zhe teams vill have to dig around in zhe dirt, collecting whatever ingredients zey happen to find und bring zem to zeir prep tables for proper cleaning and seasoning. After, zhe goal is to cook zhe ingredients into a proper meal to be judged. Ivy vill be judging zhe meals, so make her something good!"
"I'm judging the meals?" Ivy glanced over at the contestants, noticing that some wicked smiles had grown across some faces. "...Maybe that isn't the best idea, Aaron. No offense or nothing, but…well, I don't particularly want to be poisoned."
"You'll be fine…Aaron and I will be watching both teams as they cook, so nothing like that can happen!" Dana cheerily announced, though her cheer quickly shifted to disappointment when she actually heard some "aw"s from the contestants. "Oh, you guys stop with that! Ivy is innocent…and besides, it's her birthday! You can't poison her on her birthday!"
"It's her birthday?" Vernon suddenly shot up, earning some aggravated glances from Margaret and Caleb, though he ignored them. "That's good to know…" Ivy hid her face, clearly having not wanted anybody to know about this bit.
"Yeah, so you have to all make sure the birthday girl gets a good meal!" Dana gave a thumbs up to Ivy, who still refused to make any eye contact. "Of course, you'll have an hour to find, clean, and cook all of your food! I'll oversee the Squirrels and Aaron will oversee the Dingos! I highly suggest using every single teammate to look through the dirt…it really does go faster that way!"
Confessional
"I literally had no idea that it was Ivy's birthday…well, I guess I never asked, but I had figured that she would've told me about it if it was today." Vernon rubbed his arm awkwardly, looking as if he almost felt bad about not knowing. "I totally would've gotten her something if I knew it was today…that's a bummer."
Ivy twiddled her thumbs as she sat in the confessional, looking nervously up at the camera. "...Let's just say that birthdays are a bit of a touchy subject for me."
Confessional End
The contestants hopped right to searching through the dirt on the table while the two hosts watched them closely, making sure certain folks didn't try anything suspicious. Ivy, on the other hand, simply sat off to the side, still nervously twiddling her thumbs. Vernon tried to focus on the challenge at hand, but seeing her like that just didn't sit right with him. He had to pull his hands back from the dirt, walking over to her and sitting down next to her. "Yo."
"Huh?" Ivy looked up at the boy for a moment before looking right back down at the ground. "Oh…hey."
"...Happy bi-"
"Yeah, I wouldn't with all that. Birthdays aren't exactly a really good time for me." She looked off to the side, paying him no mind.
"...I see. You know, you can tell me about anything that's eating at you like that." Vernon smiled and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "I promise, I'm a pretty good listener…well, much better a listener than a talker, at the very least."
"...Yeah, I'll give you that you're probably the one person out of everyone here that I feel like I can openly talk to about this stuff. Maybe it's because of how cute you are or something." Ivy shrugged while Vernon blushed a bit. "We've always kinda held my birthday on January tenth, not so much October twenty-seventh. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was technically born today, eighteen years ago…just not really."
"Not really?" Vernon cocked his eyebrow at her, still blushing a bit from what she had said before. "I'm not sure I'm following…how can you have two birthdays? That doesn't really make sense, no offense."
"Yeah, I'm not finished yet, you dummy." She patted the boy on the head, slightly smiling. "See, that's…well, because January tenth is when I came out. Surprise, surprise, I was born a boy. I know, you're probably pissed because I wasn't telling you about it, but it's like a harsh topic for me, and it kinda hurts to think that's what I used to be like. If you end up not wanting to talk to me for being dishonest or whatever, that's cool with me. Wouldn't be the first time it happens, and likely won't be the last time."
"...So…like…what do you want for your birthday then?" Vernon scratched his chin, clearly having a hard time thinking about it on his own. "If I have a solid three months to work on getting you a gift, I'm sure I can get anything you want." Ivy glanced over at him, a bit confused until she saw the smile on his face. She couldn't help but smile as well, leaning towards him and hugging him pretty tightly. "Ack! You hug really strongly, you know that?"
"Don't care, you're gonna sit here and take the hug whether you want to or not." She squeezed him even tighter, burying her face into his shoulder. He kept smiling down at her before he leaned into the hug more as well. As the two sat there together, there were two other contestants that saw them. The first was Mitzy, who had a huge smile on her face. The second was Caleb, who stared with utter disgust.
After a bit, Vernon returned to the table, standing somewhat near Mitzy, who was still digging around in the dirt, having not found anything just yet. "Hey, Vernon?" The comic writer faced the songwriter, who nervously looked over at her, thinking she would be angry at him for leaving the table. "I saw you over by Ivy. I don't know what you said to her, but it seems to have really got her in a much better mood than before. I gotta say that's…well, that's just really cool of you."
"O-oh…well, thanks. It's whatever though, she's my…friend. I like to see her happy, and all that stuff. Sorry for running away from the challenge to work on that, I just had to make sure she was okay, is all."
"There's nothing wrong with that…well, at least I see nothing wrong with that. As far as the other teammates go, I'm sure Caleb is going to have some words for you." Mitzy glanced over her shoulder, seeing the little boy bright red, just like a tomato. "Ugh…he can be a real villain at times."
"Oh, trust me…I'm well aware of that." Vernon glared at the boy, who glared right back at him. "Locking me in that cage because I had talked to Ivy before…yeah, I've known that he's a little crabapple since even before then. It's just a shame to see him thriving in this game…pretty much nobody will vote for him because…well, he's too smart to let himself get caught doing something dumb."
"You're right…he does seem like the kind of guy to be ten steps ahead of everyone else. Just like Zane, though we don't really have to deal with him…I'm getting off track." Mitzy shook her head before looking back to Vernon with an excited look on her face. "I'm always one for taking down a villain whenever they show their face, and I'd do anything to bring them to justice. What say we work together…you can be my sidekick!"
"W-what!?" Bunny had heard that last bit of the conversation, as she wasn't too far away from Mitzy. "You're giving the position of sidekick to someone other than me!? Mitzy, I am so hurt right now…I may just have to cry to my blog about this later! Betrayed by my own friend, oh, the humanity!" Bunny fake sobbed into the dirt, getting an eye roll from Mitzy before she went back to looking at Vernon. The songwriter lightly nodded his head in agreement, causing Mitzy to smile even wider than before.
"Woohoo! We're like the Amazing Friends, or something!"
"More like the Amazing Backstabbers!" Bunny continued to fake sob, occasionally stopping to look and see if her crocodile tears had any effect on Mitzy, only to be aggravated when she saw that nothing was coming of it. She grumbled to herself before moseying over to where Caleb, Margaret, and Fridge were. "Hey! Chess guy!"
"Eh?" Caleb looked over at the reporter, who hadn't spent much time ever talking to him before. "...What do you want? Lose your camera? Hm?"
"Ha! As if I would ever lose my beloved camera…I just refuse to get it dirty, so I put it back in its case. Gosh, I miss it already…but, no! That is not why I am here! I'm here for something more important…far more important, actually!" Bunny extended a hand out to Caleb, who was just confused. "I wanna work with you! My best friend has forsaken our friendship to work with someone else, so I would much rather have someone who appreciates all the good I can do! What do you say?"
"What do I say?" Caleb grew that wide grin of his, pulling his hand up from the dirt and shaking Bunny's. "I say welcome aboard!"
Confessional
"Of course, I don't let anybody tie me down, but I can use an alliance to my advantage, no matter who it's with! Caleb is smart enough, that should be good enough to keep him around through the team phase. I can obviously pick up some incriminating evidence along the way to get him booted when I don't need him anymore." Bunny stuck her tongue out at the camera, winking at it as well.
Confessional End
The survivors were hard at work, still digging through the mud with already fifteen minutes elapsing of their one hour time limit. Things were starting to get frantic, since no one had any luck yet with finding ingredients. Luckily, just when things were looking their worst, and everybody had ample amounts of dirt under their nails, someone pulled their hand back from the first, revealing something marvelous. "Yo! I totally just found a whole head of lettuce!" CJ held his hand up high, showing off the dirt coated vegetable. The Squirrels beamed at the very sight, while the Dingos started to get even more frantic with their search.
"Huh, almost twenty minutes for them to find their first ingredient…you think we maybe didn't put enough things in there?" Dana glanced over at Aaron, who shook his head and pointed back to the table, where more contestants were starting to pull ingredients out from the dirt. Calvin had a couple strips of beef jerky in his hands, Bunny had a few grape tomatoes, and Buck, of course, managed to dig up some potatoes.
"Aha! I knew there were gonna be some spuds hidden in this dirt! Score!" The hillbilly boy rushed over to his team's prep table, with more and more of his teammates following in suit. CJ dropped the lettuce down, Buck set aside the potatoes, Zane had a slab of beef that he put on the table, the team was really shaping up well with the ingredients they had in their possession.
"Hm…beef, potatoes, lettuce, ketchup, a bun…seems to me like we're gonna have to make some sort of burger, right?" Teddy licked his lips as he thought about the hamburger they could come up with, but then he remembered that everything was completely covered in dirt. "Er…well, maybe we should get to washing all the ingredients off before we worry about cooking anything at all, right?"
"If that's what you want me to do, I'll be glad to do it, Teddy Bear." Valerie blew a kiss to the boy, who swatted it away while she grabbed the ingredients from the table and brought them over to the tiny sink that was available, taking her time to wash each and every bit of food in her hands.
Meanwhile, the Dingos were just starting to gather up a good amount of ingredients at their own table. They had the beef jerky strips from before, as well as the grape tomatoes, but now, they had a bit more in their possession. A good couple handfuls of spinach leaves, some stale bread, and a few carrots. "Well…I guess we can make a salad or something." Max shuddered at the very thought of eating a salad, much less serving one to someone. "Not so much of a hearty meal unless you're a rabbit. No offense, Bunny."
"What is it with the people on this team calling me a rabbit? First Fridge, now you, the joke gets old at some point." Bunny stuck her tongue out at Max, who was a bit taken aback by how offended she was by the simple joke. "Besides, as long as you put good effort into it, a salad can be just as good as a steak."
"That is a pathetic lie, but I'll give you props for trying to make salads seem like they're worth something more than just a side. In that case, why don't we get right to the washing process, since all we have to cook is the bread…to make croutons…huh…" Max scratched at her chin as she thought about what ingredient she just mentioned. "To do those…we would need to rinse off the bread."
"Rinse the bread? You can't rinse bread…it's just gonna turn into mush." Margaret rolled her eyes at the foodie. "If anything, we should see if we can just find more vegetables or something. Or anything to make a dressing. This salad is going to be entirely bland, considering that we can't do croutons."
"But we have to do croutons! You can't just not do croutons! Bread is the second best part of any meal, right behind meat!" Max seemed to be a lot more adamant on this topic than others. Where she was typically encouraging and a leader, she was more disagreeable than before…something Margaret in particular was not very fond of.
"Listen, lady, we can't do bread when everything is covered in dirt. If I see you bringing that loaf anywhere near a sink, I'm gonna crack it over your head." Margaret and Max got right up in each other's faces, much to Caleb's pleasure, though they hadn't noticed that the bread was gone from the pile already. When they finally looked over to see their ingredients, Fridge was already rinsing it off. "Fridge!? What are you doing!?"
"I thought we had to rinse the bun off, no?" Fridge pulled the bread out from under the faucet, revealing that it was clean, but of course, also soaked. "No more dirt on this bad boy! Perfect for a nice, good heap of croutons!"
"Fridge…you weren't supposed to do that…" Max slapped her palm against her own face. "Whatever, we're just going to have to figure out how to make it work here. I'll spend the time cooking the thing if you guys can just work on the rest of the salad…shouldn't be too difficult."
Confessional
"She's seriously gonna cook a soggy loaf of bread? Might as well just spit in the face of the person who baked that thing, at this point." Margaret seemed to be even more irritated than she typically was with her team. "You know us Italians are rather particular about our food…and it pains me to see someone do that to the bread."
Confessional End
Valerie finally got around to finishing her job, washing all the ingredients and setting them back on the prep table before she scooted next to Teddy, looking up at him with obsessive eyes while he glanced away, hoping she would just wander off at some point. CJ scratched his chin as he looked over the food, soon looking to his teammates. "So…uh…anybody know how to cook?" The table was quite silent at the question before one person spoke up.
"Yeah, yeah, I can cook and all that. Especially when it comes to meals that you can't spend a lot of money on." Zane cracked his knuckles and grabbed the beef, as well as a knife, finely chopping it up before mashing it into a disc shape. "Guess it's a perk of living poor…everybody's gotta do their share around the house." He grabbed the patty that he had made, bringing it to the grill, which he sparked up to start cooking. "You guys mind getting the other stuff ready while I'm at this?"
"Yeah, there's just one little issue with that…you see, the bun kinda…like…turned to mush in the sink." Valerie twiddled her thumbs, looking down at the ground out of embarrassment. "Sorry, I messed everything up again?"
"Eh? I wouldn't say you messed anything up, just a simple accident is all. I guess we all kinda overlooked that bit…" Zane shrugged his shoulders as he cooked, glancing back at his team briefly. "We'll just do it with a lettuce wrap. It'll be a little bland, but, hey, it'll be intact."
"That's not a half bad idea, man." Ronnie grabbed the head of lettuce with both hands, ripping it open and causing the leaves to separate so that they could use them for the wrap. As they did so, Buck whistled and moseyed on over to the grill, scooting right next to Zane.
"Buck? Did you need something, or…?"
"Eh? Oh, yeah, I figured that we would need to cook these taters up somehow!" The boy proudly held up a frying pan, something that wasn't at the table. He had put oil in it, which was at the table, and the potatoes were thinly chopped up. "Gots ta make us some french fries to go with this burger…well, wrap er whatever ya wanna call it."
"You just…you just have a frying pan with you? Like, on your person?" Buck shrugged to the question, so Zane just stopped questioning it entirely. "Well, you're right. I'll scoot over so you can get on in here." Zane did just that, sliding his work to one side of the grill so that Buck could work next to him. The two chuckled as they worked together, clearly enjoying what they were doing…although there was one member of the team that was not so enthused about the pairing.
Yves walked over to the grill, tapping Buck on the shoulder to get his attention. "You know, Buck…you really shouldn't be worrying about any of this. I can take care of the cooking."
"Huh? But I don't feel too bad right now, I think I'm fine just cooking over here with my man, Zane! Dude's a great grill buddy!" Buck smiled innocently, something that annoyed Yves.
"I'm sure you feel fine, but it's better to just let me take care of it…okay?" Yves smiled and kissed Buck on the nose, causing him to blush before he willingly gave his spot up at the grill, allowing her to step in while he went over to the prep table to hang out with CJ. "So, you're just gonna play the good guy that cooks because he's poor, huh?"
"I'm not playing at anything…you should know, I am quite the crappy liar." Zane shrugged again, not looking away from his cooking as he flipped the patty. "There's good times to focus on strategy, and there are times to have fun with your buddies. This is a challenge alright, but it's gonna be so much more memorable if we enjoy ourselves, don't you think?"
"You may have everyone under your thumb right now, but I am onto you. You and your stupid coin metaphors."
"Eh, you'll come around some day. I know you don't like me looking out for my team so you can fiddle with them, but I promise you, I'm just here to help all of us." He smiled politely as he looked over at his angry teammate. "My golden rule is to never do anything bad to a teammate…I'd rather us just win every challenge."
"Hmph, whatever. Just stay away from Buck, I don't want you roping him into your little strategy game."
"Yves, I know you're worried about him because of his sleeping issues and all, but I assure you that-"
Yves slapped the boy across the face, drawing in the attention from her entire team and Dana, who was watching them prep. Zane rubbed his cheek, turning to face his teammate. "You don't know anything about why I'm worried, so you need to just lay off! I tell you to stay away, you stay away, you got that?"
"Yves!?" Buck hurried back over to the two, tugging her aside. "Hey, hey, what's the matter with ya? Why're ya slapping the poor guy across the face."
"Because that little-"
"Don't worry 'bout it, Buck." Zane went right back to smiling, just as politely as ever. "I simply spoke out of line on things I don't know about. No hard feelings or anything…maybe you two should just sit this one out to relax a bit, huh? I'll have…er…" He looked back to the other contestants on his team. "Uh…Valerie! Can you come over here and help me cook this stuff?" Valerie nodded to the boy, blowing another kiss to Teddy before hurrying over. Yves was entirely steamed, but Buck pulled her off to the side to sit down with her.
Confessional
"Yves is really acting kinda crazy lately…'specially whenever I see her talking to Zane. Not sure what he did to tick her off, but man, she just don't like that fella." Buck shrugged his shoulders, trying not to let himself overthink it.
Confessional End
Aaron was watching the Dingos closely as they got to work on their meal, briefly glancing down at his phone to see the time. "U-um…just so everyone is aware, zere is only five minutes left to finish up all zhe cooking."
"Five minutes!?" Max slapped her hands on the sides of her face, panicking at this point. "Fridge, how are those croutons coming along?"
"Uh…they're still kind of damp?" Fridge grabbed on of the chunks of bread that he was cooking, squishing it between his fingers to show that…well, it hadn't cooked at all. Max rushed over to the grill, only to find that he had never turned the dang thing on in the first place. "Oh, yeah! How do you start the fire in this thing?"
"You didn't even turn the grill on!? Fridge! Ack! Just…uh…I'll cook the croutons, you go over to the table and bring me the bowl when I say I'm ready!" Fridge saluted the girl, running over to the table while she started to frantically cook at the croutons. Calvin walked over, worried about how panicked she was during all of the chaos.
"Are you doing alright, Agent Grayson? You seem to be rather tense over this whole mess…" She glanced over to him, smiling a bit when she saw the smile on his own face.
"You know, I am doing a little bit better than before…ah! Gotta focus!" She snapped her attention back to the grill to see that the bread was cooking decently quickly. "Okay, okay, this is gonna have to do! Fridge, bring me the bowl!"
"You got it, boss!" Fridge grabbed the bowl of salad, happily running back towards the girl, but tripping over a rock on his way, sending the bowl cascading out of his hands. Max gasped at the sight, her jaw dropping entirely…which, of course, allowed the salad to land right in her mouth. The rest of the team gasped as well, seeing her with the entire meal in her mouth.
"Agent Grayson! J-just spit it out, or something!" Calvin tried to convince her to spit out the meal, but this was something she simply could not do. Any food, no matter how bland it may be, would surely be swallowed up once she put it in her mouth. All in one gulp, the salad was gone, and Max let out a loud belch.
"Mmm…gotta love me some beef jerky…ack!" Max panicked again, realizing that she had just eaten the entire meal that they had prepared, and all they were left with was the croutons, which were mostly soggy to begin with. "W-we need to go back to the dirt and find more food, quick! If we don't, we're gonna-"
"And time is up!" Aaron clapped his hands loudly, bringing even more fear to Max. "Everybody, plate what you have and bring it to Ivy so she can judge zhe meals!"
Ivy stood from the ground she was sitting on, stretching her arms out as Max and Zane approached her with their plates. She looked down at what Max was holding out to her, just seeing the chunks of slightly burnt bread and cocking an eyebrow at it. "Uh…okay…" She grabbed one piece of bread, soon feeling it squish in between her fingers. "...I think I'm gonna have to pass on this one, man." Max sighed as Ivy turned her attention to Zane, who had most of his team standing behind him with smiles on their faces. She grabbed the plate from him, taking a bite from the burger, fearing for the worst. Suddenly, her face relaxed a bit. "...Wow, that was actually pretty dang good, man. Uh…host people? I think the Squirrels win this one."
"Well, you heard the girl…the Sandstorm Squirrels are the big winners of the cooking challenge!" Dana shouted her announcement to the teams, the winners soon cheering for their success, all except for Yves, who was still bitter about what had happened earlier. The Dingos, on the other hand, all had their gaze fixed on Max, who was blushing out of embarrassment.
Confessional
"Ah, beans…" Max sighed, soon letting out a sad belch.
Confessional End
The Dingos gathered in the Colosseum of Losers, a good amount of them still upset with Max from earlier, though Celeste and Calvin were sitting around her, patting her on the back as she covered her embarrassment with her hands. Vernon and Mitzy glared at Caleb, who paid them no mind, of course. He knew damn well that he wasn't in the hot seat…although he was a tad worried about his bumbling ally. Fridge was entirely aloof, per usual, not looking at anything other than the birds in the sky.
"Well, Dingos, your meal was quite lackluster compared to what the Squirrels had put together, don't you think?" Dana shook her head at the team from the podium she was standing at, with Aaron holding the platter with eight bags of rations on it. "Usually you guys are pretty good with challenges, so it was a little tough to watch the display here tonight. Regardless, you lost, which means that one of you is gonna get eliminated tonight. The person that doesn't receive a bag of rations must take a bounce with the Trampoline of Shame, all the way out of the Colosseum of Losers, to never return to Scrap Island again! Of course, safe from elimination tonight, we have…Margaret."
Dana passed the first bag to the mobster, who snickered to herself as she caught it. "Guess I'm first to freedom this time around, lil' runt." She teased Caleb by waving the bag over his head, only for him to slap it out of her hands. "Talk about feisty!"
"Next two free tonight are…Calvin and Celeste." Dana threw the next to bags to Max's friends, both of which held them out to the girl to try and console her…only for her to eat them in record speeds and let out a monumental belch right after. "Also safe…Vernon, Bunny, and Mitzy."
"Well, duh!" Bunny laughed as she caught her rations. "Who would wanna get rid of me and my cute little face? No one, that's who!"
"Man, she really is full of herself, isn't she?" Vernon mumbled to Mitzy, who groaned in response.
"Tell me about it…"
"Now, as far as people that did accrue votes tonight…Caleb…you're safe." Dana flicked the second last bag of rations to the boy, who caught them, but seemed to be…well, pissed off, quite frankly.
"Somebody voted for me!? What the actual fuck, what did I even do!? Oh, I swear, some son of a bitch is gonna get socked right in the groin for voting for me! I'm gonna find out who it was and rip your dick off!" Caleb huffed and puffed, the two girls in his alliance snickering at his little tantrum.
"Aw, does da widdwe baby need to take a nappy?" Margaret teased him even more, only for him to literally hiss at her. "Man, you are cracking me up too much!"
Fridge still wasn't much paying attention to the elimination ceremony, but Max, on the other hand, was all too aware of what was going on. "Fridge, you kept goofing off during the challenge and messing things up for your team…lotta big nonos you did today, but Max, you made a snack of the meal you were supposed to serve. Unfortunately, someone needs to be eliminated, and that someone is…"
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"...Max." Max sighed as Dana called out her name, watching the final bag of rations fly to Fridge's hands. "Sorry, but you just can't get away with chowing down on the group project like that."
"It's alright, I know what I did, and I know I need to get the boot for it." Max sadly strolled towards the trampoline, letting out an enormous sigh as she looked down at it.
"Agent Grayson!" Calvin stood from his seat, rushing over to her. She turned to face him, a bit confused by the suddenness of his approach. "I know that I declared earlier that I couldn't just tell my trade secrets to anybody, but…well, if this is the last time we get to share a team, I kinda have to tell you. Agent Grayson-...Max…yes, I do…rather, like you. A good deal."
Max's face lit up with excitement as the agent revealed his feelings to her. "That's awesome!"
"It is? I didn't think it was all tha-" Calvin tried to speak, but he was soon cut off by Max grabbing him and pulling him in for a kiss, causing Celeste to quite literally faint from excitement on the benches. The agent was shocked at first, but the shock soon faded away as he accepted the kiss. The two of them eventually pulled their lips apart, both smiling at each other. "...Agent!" The boy saluted Max proudly, "Til we see each other again!"
"Right!" Max saluted the boy back as well, "Til then!" She broke from the salute, waving to the rest of her team before happily bouncing back onto the trampoline, and launching out of sight.
Author's Notes:
*Another episode of this one, coming at you! This time, we say goodbye to everybody's favorite foodie…but I mean, who didn't see this coming when they saw the episode was going to have something to do with food? She still is really fun as a character, and I look forward to her both in the aftermath and next season!
*Votes: Max - Fridge, Caleb, Margaret, Bunny; Fridge - Max, Calvin, Celeste; Caleb - Mitzy, Vernon
*Placements: No Placement - Chris; 22nd - Daniel; 21st - Larida; 20th - Mitchell; 19th - Alice; 18th - Blaster; 17th - Max