Please know that this chapter contains mentions of sexual abuse. I don't go into detail, but it is in there.
"Beth, you need to understand that what I am about to tell you few people know." Carol began, still confident despite the morbid confession she had just uttered. "I am trusting you with my most worst secret." Carol declared, intensely. "If you don't want the responsibility of keeping the secret, I will stop talking and never speak of this to you again."
Beth tried to clear her head and think rationally. She adored Carol. Did she really want to know something that could alter that image in her mind? Did she want the responsibility of knowing and hiding the full truth of this crime? Did she care about this merry band enough to hide this for the rest of her days? That final question sealed her fate.
"You can trust me."
Carol sighed, resignedly. "Alright, then. Let's sit down." Beth looked down. There were muddy leaves all around them, rustled by their walking. Beth didn't hesitate.
"About a month after I met the Dixon brothers, my life had become unbearable. Not only were we penniless as before, but Edward had discovered a new way to make money." Carol closed her eyes, and Beth pretended not to notice the small tears that seemed to well at the sides of her friend's eyes. "He began to sell me."
At first, Beth was certain she had not heard Carol correctly; how could Edward sell Carol into slavery? Surely Carol would have been lost to that awful fate forever. Then, Beth noticed Carol. She was unconsciously covering herself, as if she had no clothing wrapped around her. All too quickly, Beth understood; Carol's body had been sold. Still, Beth was in disbelief and her forehead shrank up in her confused anger. No husband-no matter how cruel-could do that to his wife. But then, she remembered Shane's cruel words and knew that men existed who could and would commit such atrocities to restore their own pride or make a profit. But, even in her self-absorbed world of arrogance, Beth had never seen such evil in men.
"For the love of all that is holy, please don't look at me with pity." Carol said, still not meeting Beth's eyes. "I've worked hard to overcome that time in my life. I won't have your pity."
"He deserved what you did to him." Beth replied, and was surprised by how easily the words came and with how much fervor she found in her voice.
"I don't know that anyone deserves that." Carol said, meeting her eyes with a new bravery that Beth admired. "It was an awful night. Edward had handed me out to three different men that day."
"Three?!" Beth couldn't help the shock.
"Cruel men, Beth. They did such cruel things..." Carol whispered, "I was such a different person back then. I despised life. I despised myself. I wanted his blood that night. I laughed when those men left\. It was insanity in its purest form. He was asleep, as I told you."
"You burned the inn down." Beth said, in awe.
Carol's eyes crinkled in confusion. "How did you know that?"
Beth reddened. Again, her big, over-expressive mouth had gotten her into trouble. "Shane. When he and the brother ran into each other-the day I left-he was hackling Merle and mentioned a fire that killed your husband."
"Oh." Carol let the matter go as quickly as it has arised. She was that type of person though, loyal until the end. Beth admired the woman's tenacity. She couldn't imagine she could still find a way to smile in life if she had gone through all that Carol had. "Merle found me that very same night. The high of fleeing that life had worn off and I was just walking aimlessly covered in soot and ash. He got me away."
"You weren't questioned?" Beth asked.
"Oh, of course, I was." Carol said, smirking suddenly. "Merle dealt with that though. Before I could confess the next morning, he told Walsh that I couldn't possibly have purposefully started that fire. I had been with him all the night through."
Beth didn't smile. She knew what that story would do to a woman's reputation, but Carol didn't seem to mind.
"Oh, I had no worries over my name in that town, Beth." Carol continued, knowingly. "I was free of that man, and that was all that mattered at that point. Walsh always had his doubts, but he didn't care for Edward any more than other person on this Earth did, so he never pushed any further."
"You've been with Merle ever since, then." It wasn't a question.
"He saved me, just as much as I saved myself by lighting that fire." Carol said, "The guilt could have killed me, but he showed me that I was better than my previous circumstance. That I was a woman of worth that deserved far beyond what life had dealt me. He cherishes me, Beth. I know that he is a hardened man, and there are parts of him that I will never be able to heal, as you have seen firsthand, but his heart and soul are good. That's all that matters to me these days." Carol stopped for a moment, grabbing Beth's hand tenderly. "Maybe it's all that should matter to you too."
"Where have you been?" Merle had returned since the two women had went on their walk. He seemed worried, but one look between the two women and he stepped back as if he didn't want to scare them away. "I mean…"
Beth took a step forward. "I know what you mean." She found herself at ease once again with this beast in front of her. Her fear of him was gone, her faith restored completely with Carol's story. "I know you're sorry. You can forgive yourself now."
Merle blushed and looked down. "She didn't put me up to it," he replied, motioning to Carol.
"I know." It must have been the way she said it, because Merle's face told her that he knew, in that moment, that she did know. He looked very serious in that moment, more serious than Beth had ever seen the man. He must have sensed she could see his feelings, because he quickly smirked at her before nipping her on the chin with his fingers.
"I think you belong here, sweetheart." He proclaimed, loudly.
"Perhaps, I do." Beth agreed, even though her full heart wasn't in the declaration. Seeing Daryl waiting less than patiently for her closer to the fire, Beth squeezed Merle's hand quickly, hugged Carol one last time and headed over.
"What's all that about?" He asked, once she had set herself down next to him.
Beth couldn't think of a proper word to describe what that moment with Merle, or the preceding moments in the forest with Carol were to her. So, she simply shook her head and smiled. Daryl's eyebrow lifted. He knew something had happened.
"Really?" Both of them turned to the subjects of their conversation. Carol was nodding with a small, knowing smile. Merle, however, looked very confused as if he was having a hard time adequately understanding whatever Carol had just said to him. Beth saw the moment it clicked though.
Merle's eyes popped wide and he let out a huge, bombastic whoop. Beth laughed out loud, she couldn't stop herself, when the huge giant of a man jumped into the air and kicked his heels together. She laughed even louder when she saw the dumb-founded look on his kid brother's face.
"We're getting married, people!" Merle exclaimed, turning to the rest of the group.
By the late afternoon, the preparations were made. It was a small ceremony. There was no church, no pastor. It wasn't a legal marriage, but it didn't much matter. It was a marriage of the heart.
Aaron performed the ceremony right in the middle of the camp between two trees that Carol and Beth had haphazardly decorated with some wild baby's breath they had found on a quick hunt for some decoration for the event. Carol wore a simple, yet beautiful dress. No glamour of a queen's gown, but she was a queen still. Beautiful and so very in love with her new husband, however crude he may have been.
"Hell yes!" Merle exclaimed when Aaron asked him if he took this woman to be his wife. Carol's smirk spread and knowledge of exactly their partners were was so very evident in their expressions. Beth marvelled at the couple and wondered just how you could know someone that well. Every facet of personality. Every ideal and nuance of emotion.
It was such a happy moment. Carol's smile was radiant, but she couldn't hold a candle to the emotion that shone through in Merle.. Beth hadn't seen anything more beautiful than to see the a man so worn and scarred experience his first real moment of pure, undefeated victory. It brought on a smile that remained unscathed from Beth and tears of joy rushed forward to spread across her cheeks. She intended to leave them unchecked, but Daryl chose that most perfect moment to look down at her by his side. She felt him gazing at her, but kept her eyes on the moment transpiring between Merle and Carol. She was shocked though when his calloused hand come up and wiped the tears off one side of her face. Finally, she broke out of Carol and Merle's happiness and looked up at Daryl.
"Thank you." She said, nonchalantly, as if she didn't know what the moment was doing in Daryl. She did, though. The power of this happy day for his brother and her only friend was not lost on Beth or on him.
Daryl inclined his head at her, trying to reconcile her display of emotion and her nonchalant answer. He loved his brother and Carol, surely, but there was no possible way he could understand the emotions that were roaring in Beth in that moment, especially since she was still being stubborn by not sharing the full depth of her heart. She didn't truly understand what this wedding was doing in her soul herself, but she felt changed more in those few moments than any since she had left the farm.
Perhaps it was this realization that propelled her into action, but she didn't question herself as she pushed herself up onto her tiptoes, wrapped her arm in a tight grip around the back of Daryl's neck and fiercely crushed her lips to his own. Beth felt intense heat and shock rush through her when Daryl met her with the same fury of craving. No hesitation or shock was present in the way he opened her mouth with his own, his tongue fighting hers for victory. Beth lost herself completely in the moment, biting Daryl's bottom lip. She smirked against his lips when he growled, digging his fingers into her back. Her nails were working as well. Scraping themselves down each side of his face, they clung to him as she dived into the kiss. Beth could hear cat calls that she was certain were not for the beautiful, sweet moment between the newlyweds. She couldn't have cared less. Only when Daryl swung her a hundred and eighty degrees and pushed her back ferociously into a tree did she take a quick, shocked breath, breaking their moment. Looking up, she could see Daryl's eyes were blackened to only the pupils, no blue left in them, and he was breathing heavily as if he had just ran from an enemy. She smiled at her inept analogy; Daryl would never run from any man.
"Oi, little brother," Merle bellowed, somewhere in the distance, "Get your arse out of my moment!" Laughter and applause broke out throughout the woods, echoing all around them.
Daryl let out a long breath, lowering his head to rest between him and Beth's still shaking chest. He kept his arms around Beth's middle though, still clinging tightly. Beth's laugh was genuine and thrilled as she pushed herself off the tree, not bothering to wince at the slight pain in her back. Wrapping her arms around Daryl as best she could, she rested her head on his chest and looked back at their group. She guessed she could call them her family now. Merle had a lazy arm wrapped around Carol's shoulders smirking at the younger couple; Abraham, Mitchell and Aaron were standing a little to the right smiling similarly.
Beth smiled as well and knew that the moment preceding this one had just changed her life, or perhaps, left her reborn. It was beautiful.
All I can add is finally, and thank you again.