Chapter 12

Cassandra woke in the arms of Richard the morning after their wedding, she had guilt lingering in her from the night before. She never would have believed she would ever become a cheater, but now she was one. She did not want to tell her husband that she cheated on him during their reception with Periwinkle's father. She knew this would break his trust; she could never do that to him. She glanced over her shoulder at her husband sleeping with a quiet snore holding her close to him. She slowly pulled her naked body from his arms and got out of bed letting him continue sleeping, he stirred a little but continued sleeping as she slipped just her robe on then exited the room going down the hall to where Remus' room was, he was staying with them to help them with the children before he returned to France to help raise Sirius' daughter, who was also his goddaughter. There was some shuffling from the inside before the door opened and there stood an exhausted-looking Remus who had a very messy bedhead, "Cassie?" he yawned stepping to the side to let her in. She entered the room and then sat on the bench at the end of his bed. He closed the door then looked at her noticing her facial expression was full of many mixed emotions, he pulled his robe more around himself since he was not wearing a shirt, "What's wrong? Was the wedding night not what you were expecting?" he was not sure how to go into detail with this, "I know Sirius used to tell me that the first time with someone is not always great…it is full of nerves which can make performance…"

She interrupted him quickly, "I cheated on him."

He instantly was shocked, "I am sorry you did what?"

She put her head in her hands starting to cry, "I cheated on my husband with Severus."

"Oh, dear god…" he sat next to her trying to find the right words for this, "Will we be expecting another Peri?"

She shook her head, "No…no we did not get that far. You came in before we could."

He looked at his friend, "Alright…I assume you wish to forget all this?"

"Yes, please. I did not have the intention ever to cheat on Richard especially not with Severus."

"Then we oblivate your memory of that point, this way you forget you cheated. Richard does not have to know and we know there will not be any consequences." She gave a small nod as he stood up going to the bedside table getting his wand then returned to sitting next to her, he placed the tip of the wand to her head gently removing the memory. The memory was swished into oblivion, he watched the memory disappear then looked at her, "Better?"

She looked at him with a small smile and laugh, "I cannot even remember why I came in here."

He gave a soft laugh, "You need to stop causing trouble."

She gave him a hug, "Never."

He hugged her back then let go, "I would not expect anything else. Now let me get some sleep before your children wake me. Why I agreed to this is beyond me."

"Because you love me."

He gave a small nod, he did have a crush on her before but knew that in the end, they would always be better as friends, "That is true. I love you like a friend."

"Well, I would hope so because I am married to Mr. Perfect…who I should get back to."

He stood up with her walking her to the door, "See you in a few hours for brunch then back to New York for your honeymoon cruise and I will return to France."

She quietly returned to her room and got back in bed as the sun slowly began to rise, her return to the bed woke Richard a little, "Cass?" he asked sleepily.

"Shh…go back to sleep."

"Why were you up?"

"I was visiting Remus."

He opened his eyes to look at her, "Remus?"

"My friend…remember."

"I know who he is, but why were you seeing him?"

"Bad dream…I think I do not remember."

He clicked the light on, "Why did you not wake me?"

She shrugged squinting at the sudden light, "You were sleeping so peacefully I did not want to disturb you."

"Wake me next time alright."

She nodded, "I will…I am just used to being alone."

Sadness filled his eyes as he took her soft hand in his, "You are never going to be alone again."

She smiled softly at him as the two leaned in to kiss each other, "Should we go back to sleep?" she asked their heads resting against one another's. He smirked pulling her closer to him and onto his lap. After their early morning sex, they fell back asleep for a little longer.

A couple of hours passed before the couple awoke again to a knock on their door and a house-elf entering the room, "Morning. Young Master and Mistress Banks," the house-elf spoke moving to the curtains and pulling them apart, "Mistress Banks has requested the both of you be downstairs in fifteen minutes to begin the morning brunch buffet with your guests," with that the house-elf returned to the door and shut it.

She groaned, "I just wanted to sleep in the morning after my wedding."

He laughed kissing her, "We can on the cruise," he stood up moving to the wardrobe to retrieve the clothes that had been labeled for him.

"Mmm. I can definitely get used to that view every morning."

He laughed again, "The feeling is mutual."

She also got out of bed putting her robe back over her naked body to return to her room, "I'll see you in just a few minutes," she exited the bedroom and went to the bridal suite to change.

She met her husband and children at the stairs, "Morning my beautiful girls," she kneeled in front of them to kiss their cheeks.

"Morning Mummy," Periwinkle said smiling.

"Ready for breakfast?"

The girls nodded and followed their parents down the stairs where they entered the ballroom where the brunch buffet was being held. The children were quickly shooed away to the corner of the room where they were given sippy cups of apple juice and milk with small plates of food, they had coloring books and dolls to keep them occupied. Cassandra watched as her children were pushed away from her to be removed from the fun happening around them, "I rather them…"

"No. This is no place for children so they will remain over there and not with the adults," her mother-in-law said.

She looked at Richard, "It is just for a little bit," he tried to add. She sighed nodding and grabbed a mimosa from one of the floating trays.

The wedding guests who had remained at the estate to watch the couple leave for their honeymoon included many of the Banks' family friends as well as Remus, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Severus. Severus stood watching everyone mingle as he drank his mimosa that was being served as the adult beverage during the brunch, he looked over at the corner to see the three young girls alone. He looked back at the adults who were ignoring them, he took this opportunity to go to Periwinkle, he approached them slowly kneeling in front of them to be closer to their level, "Hello…"

They looked up from their coloring, "Hello…" Periwinkle said by this point they were all used to strangers approaching them.

He examined her carefully, her dark black hair tied back with a bow and her dark brown eyes that resembled his own. He looked at her eyes before speaking, "I'm...da…Severus."

"Peri."

"I am a friend of your mum. I knew her from school…yours too," he looked at the twins then Periwinkle, "More yours though."

She gave a small nod, "We are going on a boat, but not to London again. We are going to the Caribbean; it is warmer there. Then we can play on the beaches, but we live in New York. This is just mummy and Richard's honeymoon."

"You do not call Richard dad?"

Periwinkle shook her head, "I do not have a daddy. I have a Richard and mummy, but no daddy."

Pain filled his eyes, "Lovely to meet you. You do the best you can, Peri. You will go on to do great things," he stood up, he turned to look at Cassandra who was talking with her new husband happily in love with him as seen in her eyes as the two looked at one another.

Severus exited the crowd of people at the brunch to go outside grabbing another mimosa on the way outside, he knew he should have left the night before or he should not have come to the wedding at all.

He stood on the balcony looking at the ocean as McGonagall approached him, "Severus?"

He did not turn to face her just continued staring out into the world, "I lost her."

"She was never yours, to begin with…the two of you may share a child together," every adult who was close to them, especially those from Hogwarts was aware of who Periwinkle's birth father was despite neither Cassandra nor Severus revealing the truth, "but you cannot force yourself into their lives."

He looked at the drink he had in his hand, "He does not even know her."

"I am sure he will know Peri at some point. She is just a toddler she barely has any personality at all yet."

He turned to face her, "Cassie," his eyes filled with tears, "He does not know Cassie. He does not know she hates the color green but loves the color blue. She just wears green because it is her family's color and despite not being close to them at all she still chooses to be a part of the family for traditions, which seems very much out of character for her but she likes traditions because it gives her a sense of normalcy. She is stubborn but would drop anything to help someone else. She hates a routine, yet she always had a routine in school since she hated being late and it goes back to her liking having a sense of normalcy in her life when nothing for her was ever normal. She hates the roses because they are popular, she likes periwinkle flowers because they grow in her favorite season winter. She hates summer because she had to go home to a family and life she hated, she loves winter for the snow and all things are calm. She hates breakfast foods and typically will skip breakfast to eat some sort of lunch or dinner. She could not stand learning even though she was the top of her class after Lily. She did not join the Order because she wanted to be with Peri but also because she did not want to be used as a double spy. She was not a Slytherin because she was evil like her father and sister, but for her ambition and determination for fighting for her independence which was really shown during our seventh year and as she continues through life. She is resourceful, she built a life all on her own with very little help from anyone else."

McGonagall looked at him with a little sadness, "You really do love her."

"More than anything…she has always been there for me," he looked down at his glass, "Loving her will always be a losing game," his eyes returned to McGonagall, "I should have answered those letters. I should have fought for her. I lost her to a man who will never truly know her. He does not deserve her, but she chose him. My child, I could have known, but I now never will. It is all my fault. If I just wrote to her…if I answered her letters even…"

She sighed, "I am sorry Severus. It will get easier as time moves on, it is not like you ever have to see her again."

He gave a small nod placing his glass on the railing of the balcony, "I am going back to England," he apparated away with that.

Once Severus was back at his house in Spinner's End, he appeared in the entryway of his home, he headed up the stairs to his bedroom placing his hand on the doorknob pausing then glanced over his shoulder at the door directly across from his. He let go of the doorknob and walked over to the door placing a hand gently on the engraved P on the door, he left out a small sigh. He placed his hand on the doorknob slowly turning it then he entered his spare bedroom, it was small in size and gave almost a cell-like feeling with it being cold and dark. There was a crib in the room with a mobile hanging above it, a single candle lit light hung from the ceiling with a flick of his hand the candlelit, the curtain was a yellowish-white now but the original color must have been a bright white, the walls were a faded blue color. The room was dusty and smelled as if it had been neglected. He approached the crib looking at the mobile that had small periwinkle flowers and vines on it, he gently spun it with his hand and then looked into the crib at the small teddy bear in it. He turned around to look at the white wardrobe with the cracked mirror on the door, he approached it and opened it where small infant clothes hung on tiny hangers and a singular brown packing box was in the bottom of the wardrobe. He picked it up and then sat down in the rocking chair by the bookshelf that had children's books from the muggle and wizarding world. He placed the box on the floor taking things out one out of time, the items on top are the letters Cassandra had sent him until she stopped trying. He had read these letters a hundred times that he had the words memorized, but could not bring himself to ever reply even though he tried over and over again. He flipped through the letters skimming the words. He put the letters on top of the bookshelf taking out some photo albums and newspaper clippings, the albums had pictures of Cassandra and him over the years at Hogwarts. The newspaper clippings were mostly of her with her parents, rarely front-page talk except when she caused scandal to her family by having Periwinkle out of wedlock. Of course, that was all ignored now since she married one of the wealthiest wizarding families in America and Canada. He would never know Periwinkle, but at least she seemed happy from what he could tell from afar at the wedding. She would have a father figure but never her actual father. He wanted to be her father but she deserved better than him. Richard would be able to give her anything and everything she wanted.

He picked up the final item which was a single picture of Periwinkle, he had gotten the picture from Dumbledore. It had been included in her birth announcement; there she was asleep in the picture the only movement shown was her gentle breathing. He put the rest of the things in the box leaving the picture out. He placed the box back in the wardrobe then exited the room and entered his bedroom, placing the picture in the drawer of his nightstand where the picture would remain for many years.