Note: Takes place on the evening "Steven Floats" ends

What an idiot.

No, not 'idiot'. Not anymore perhaps. The word implied stupidity that met expectations.

All of which Ronaldo Fryman surpassed. He embodied stupidity the likes of which this planet, and perhaps galaxy, had never seen. Not so much for the universe as Kurtis felt pretty confident the Crystal Gems more than likely had met beings that could top the blogger in that department no problem.

In terms of this town, though, Ronaldo had no equal. Except maybe Lars on occasion.

Okay, definitely Lars.

Which brings into question why Kurtis himself, someone already three-fourths through his Programming degree and who earned among the top ten highest GPAs in high school, associated with someone like the over-excitable Fryman heir, especially after the theorist purposely pursued him and his family to "expose their true identity as followers of the rock people" throughout their first two weeks here.

Yeah, not fun.

As someone who lived in Beach City before, the aspiring astronomer remembered well Ronaldo's childhood interest in aliens and the paranormal and, upon running into him after the Flores family moved back, recognized that it transformed into an obsession over the years—and an intense one at that.

Because five minutes in Ronaldo's presence was more than enough to realize how much of a bad idea associating with him could prove. No, Kurtis didn't give a damn about fitting in like Lars did. That desire died out after Lydia...um—anyway he had responsibilities to fulfill so life could be easier for his folks.

Who had time for the social quo when there's important work to be done?

So why let this guy, of all people, walk home with me?

For starters, one could argue Ronaldo had a way of inviting chaos and if there's one lesson Kurtis's learned from both his talks with Sadie and Kiki and interactions with the blogger himself, Ronaldo knew how to be a force of nature, especially where the 'truth' was involved.

There's also that by some ironic twist of fate, Ronaldo happened to hang around Kurtis's haunts, both old and new. Namely the flower shop, the Big Donut, Funland Arcade, and even the peak that overlooked Beach City—or 'Morning Hill' as Uma liked to call it.

So avoiding the blogger: nice try but no, particularly since Ronaldo, even after that talk on the boardwalk and the subsequent fateful meet between the two boys and a certain Gem, singled Kurtis out for a discussion buddy on sight.

Every. Single. Time.

Apparently one time had not been enough to satisfy that craving for the abnormal.

Except when he called Ronaldo out on this habit yesterday, the blonde had paused in his simultaneous pizza consumption and laptop typing and cheerily replied: "Cuz arguing with you guys is fun!"

Oh.

Well, shit. Jenny was right.

Shouldn't have called him out on that banana slug theory. Or any other theory after that. Too late. Well, I suppose I couldn't have ended up with worse. Because having Ronaldo in his room, big butt in his favorite computer chair, while the theorist's mouth raged on was as worse as worse got.

"The big red eyeball from last year, the giant monster attacks, the hand in the sky, the lightning storms, and now all these earthquakes and those 'unexplained' pieces of fruit on the shore: they all gotta point to the Great Diamond Authority somehow!"

Seated on his bed, decked in a black muscle shirt and baggy grey pajama pants, Kurtis stroked his sparse moustache and goatee in patient wonder. Partially at how Ronaldo's latest theory fit with all the strange goings-on the Flores family had noticed after the move; partially at the fact that Uma invited the blogger into their house without batting an eye.

At least Ronaldo had been nice enough to help out with the groceries while he babbled on. That and Dad openly encouraged Kurtis to interact with 'somebody his mindset'. The youngest Flores decided to take that advice as a hint at an opportunity—for what, he was not entirely sure but willing to wait and find out.

So for right now, he resigned himself to listening. No telling if there'd be new information to use later on; plus, if memory served correctly, Ronaldo either threw a hissy fit or closed himself off whenever no one took his words seriously.

A frustrated sigh broke Kurtis's train of thought.

Ronaldo had twisted around so he sat backwards, arms draped over the back of the chair, eyes skyward in perplexity. "What I don't get is why. What would the Authority want with Steven and the Crystal Gems?" He shrugged at his curious peer, one hand gestured in confusion. "I mean yeah, their presence attracts a lot of monsters, but they never go out of their way to be an actual threat."

Aside from the occasional property damage, but even that improved with time. Marginally.

Kurtis tilted his head with searching eyes. "Refugees?"

"Maybe...but Steven's only been alive for so long. Otherwise more people would know about it." Memories of that day at the hill flashed back. "Maybe we're not the only ones in the dark about all this. He lives with them, so he's gotta know at least something but—"

"Not everything."

Ronaldo snapped his fingers as if to say 'bingo'. "Exactly." His head tilted up to be eye level with the other teen, determination evident on his face. "Hey, do you think Amber could tell us a bit more?"

Good question. Kurtis pursed his lips, deep in thought.

Ronaldo, impatient for an answer, abruptly leaned forward into Kurtis's personal bubble and pulled...ugh, that face. That hammy bright-eyed one that likened him to someone out of a niche-induced anime, just like the faces the kids Kurtis babysat would use...only much worse and much harder to resist.

"Please?"

With a terse sigh, the young florist placed a comforting hand on Ronaldo's left shoulder and pulled the same trustworthy face that won the trust of countless adults. "I'll try."

Amber had been pretty open about all this Gem stuff, after all. Even with Ronaldo.

Regardless, Kurtis retreated his hand to cover a light yawn. It was getting late. "You heading home?"

Ronaldo suddenly tensed and adopted an oddly meek frown, a sight that set an alarm off in the young florist's head. Taking caution to keep his face neutral, the blogger, eyes off into space, carefully weighed his next words.

"My mom's in town."

Oh. Kurtis rubbed his nape, self-conscious for once. "Your dad and Peedee?"

"Dad's dealt with her before so he's seen all her tricks; he's also got your dad's number so he can call for backup, and I think Peedee's at a 'welcome-back-home' sleepover at Steven's place."

Then all the bases were covered apparently. Kurtis tried not to appear too relieved at that, instead crossing his arms to appear indifferent; he semi-succeeded, judging by the other male's expectant gaze. A thought suddenly occurred to him. "The lighthouse?"

Ronaldo's shake was as firm and serious as death, the expression on his face so unlike anything Kurtis expected from the normally upbeat teen it almost startled him. "No, which is how I wanna keep it. It's another reason I'm here; you're good at keeping secrets."

The statement inspired a skeptic look from Kurtis. "Not Lars?"

Ronaldo shrugged. "I don't think he'd rat me out if that's what I think you think I'm thinking."

Uh huh. Kurtis nonchalantly stood up to fetch a bottle of water and a snack. This conversation was far from its conclusion, he could tell, so best get something for the meantime.

The distant sound of the television news echoed from downstairs.

"Wait, Kurtis!" Ronaldo reached a needy hand out as he stood up from the chair, stumbling a bit from the still-swirling chair swiveling into his backside. "What about our search for the truth?"

Kurtis paused on the open threshold and eyed over his shoulder at the theorist in surprise, a bit touched Ronaldo considered him a partner in all this. Anyway, he was just leaving for a few minutes to get stuff to help pass the time, not going out into space. With a short genuine chuckle, Kurtis stuck a hand out to indicate his associate relax then pointed to the closet in the corner.

"A sleeping bag is in there."

Short answers get short looks, especially irrelevant ones. Ronaldo, crossing his arms, turned away and huffed with indignation worthy of a Fryman. "You're lucky I consider you a trusted member of this paranormal investigation team." Then shot a haughty smirk back. "Otherwise, you'd be missing out on quality enlightenment."

When his 'partner' perked an amused eyebrow, Ronaldo wagged a finger in reproach, tsk-tsk clicking from his lips. "Don't forget you owe me. I cleared you and your family two weeks ago—and with reasonable proof of innocence, I might add."

'Legendary' defined Kurtis's deadpan stare perfectly. "You geeked out over Amber recharging your laptop with her tongue."

"Because it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for scientific data!"

Best not to give a verbal response to that (not that there could be any). Instead Kurtis held back the urge to chuckle any further lest he end up hurting the blogger's feelings, an effort manifested in a minute snort. The amusement settled down when he noticed Ronaldo twiddling his fingers, looking to be on the verge of asking something else.

When Kurtis cleared his throat at a soft volume, Ronaldo almost flinched in response but caught himself. "Um by the way, is it okay if I can use your charger for my laptop?" His eyes focused on Kurtis's, twinkling with nervous anticipation. "I've got the first season of Koala Princess on DVD and I was wondering if you'd like to check it out."

Silence. Short yet decisive silence.

Ronaldo's shoulders started to sag at the ensuing look of wonder. "It's fine if that's not your thing, I just figured since what we're doing sorta qualifies as hanging out, we'd take a break."

"Okay."

"Yeah, I figured I've shoved enough stuff in your face so"—Ronaldo double-took at Kurtis, eyes disbelieving. "Wait, you're serious?!" A simple nod constituted Kurtis's reply, as did Ronaldo's rebounding enthusiasm as the theorist balled his fists with a starry-eyed gasp. "A-Alright! Uh, I'll get my stuff set up and you can handle the food!"

Well, that moment didn't last long. While the blogger flew around the room in search of his precious technology, Kurtis could only shake his head with a wry smirk as he resumed leaving the room.

Yeah, Ronaldo Fryman is still an idiot.

But he's an idiot with heart.