Note: Takes place during the events of "Monster Reunion"; three days after "Restaurant Wars"
Today, Greg Universe learned a profound truth: it's possible to be in hysterics while staying near-silent at the same time.
Evidence: Amber's sidelong position in the man's office chair as she gripped her sides in wheezy laughter.
To be fair, though, Greg couldn't blame her after he recounted...that. Heck, if not for his own embarrassment at the memory he would've laughed too. The middle-aged man shrugged with a bashful grin. "Well, now you know why I don't do covers anymore."
No kidding. Amber needed another solid minute before she regained her composure and sat up straight again, breathing still funky from laughing so much. When her eyes caught the clock up on the wall, she hopped off and began gathering her belongings and stuffing them into the backpack at the chair's feet.
From behind, Greg quirked an eyebrow in surprise until he noticed the time, too. He set away the microphone he'd been holding onto the table beside him.
"Time already?"
Amber nodded with an apologetic grin. Much as she enjoyed the ex-rocker's company, she had another promise to keep somewhere else and little time to get there.
Fortunately Greg understood. "Ah, don't sweat it!" He waved a dismissive hand as he moved to open the front door for Amber, who followed beside him. "Gem business's no picnic. Sorry we didn't make good headway on that cure by the way. Guess we got a little too sidetracked."
Noting the wilting grin, Amber hastened to her notebook.
It's fine! I thought I needed a pretense to socialize with you. At Greg's blank stare, Amber winced before scrambling to continue her response. What I mean is you're probably not used to Gems genuinely wanting to hang out with you.
When Greg's face flickered to something sadder, she only flinched harder.
Not that I DON'T want to! It's just that many of us never made actual efforts to get to know humans during the war.
A tense hunch took up her shoulders, the molehog knowing how that all sounded, before she braced for an offended tirade. A patient sympathetic smile crossed Greg's face instead. "Huh, that's too bad. Kinda ironic, too. What about you then?"
Amber scratched her face, thoughtful. I've always enjoyed their company. A lot more than I ever enjoyed that of other Gems—recent events ran through Amber's mind, silently reprimanding her—Mostly. I just didn't know if you would believe me if I came upfront and asked.
Back when the Flores consisted of only her, Kurtis and Marcus, she—or rather Sparky—often witnessed Greg at some sort of odds with the other Gems besides Rose. (Okay Pearl ninety-nine percent of the time, but you see the point.) Just like with most of the other aspects of her old friends she's behind on, she had little context for help.
And from what little context she did have before her talk with Pearl at the arena, yikes.
'Not to mention there's my corruption to consider—and that's a whole other tar pit altogether.'
Greg deepened his frown at those last few statements, not just because they implied self-esteem issues on Amber's part (woo boy, could the man relate to that) but...well self-consciousness towards her own people, too, which felt bizarre to think about in terms of the Gems since Greg never got that impression from Pearl or any of the others.
Now he knew very well how much emotional baggage weighed each of them down (and experienced firsthand much to his dismay), but none of it included simply being their species. They all seemed so accepting and even proud of their 'Gemhood' that hearing one of them confessing the contrary surprised him.
But he knew better than to pry. "There's no shame in asking. You're pretty cool to hang around; also pretty sure you're at least semi-serious about this whole 'curing corruption' thing."
He had her there. Amber scratched a claw against her cheek again, not sure how to respond until the carwash owner waved an assuring hand. "Don't worry. I once decoded a message from outer space! I'm sure one of these days we'll crack it."
Amber smiled in gratitude before reaching into her backpack and tossing Greg a red box. The chubby musician caught the item easily, confused until he read the hug white block letters: Cheez-E.
Consider it an edible token of our camaraderie.
...Greg's eyes shifted from Amber to the box then back. He managed an awkward smile. "Uh, thanks?"
Then after a resolute ZIP, RUSTLE, ZIP followed by a polite nod, our little cheeseball departed.
Once Amber went around the corner and he finished waving goodbye, Greg took a second glance at the box then perked.
"Oh hey! Cheddar Jack!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
'Oh hey, sand in my face. Again.'
Amber promptly spat the offending material out before rolling onto her back, checking herself.
From mid-thigh down, her right leg sported part of a yellow rubber jumpsuit along with a black boot, the dark gray upper rim and soles a sharp contrast against the tawny sunlit sand. The change lasted ten seconds before the limb flickered back to its bestial self.
Should one feel relief or annoyance in this situation? Amber sighed regardless.
On the bright side, the shift lasted longer than last time; not so bright side, the delay between states seemed to be increasing in length, let alone choosing the most inopportune times to act up.
In other words, Amber had to deal with limbs that could turn intangible at any moment, one of the reasons she hadn't been allowed on missions yet.
Even fighting had become a problem in the days since the Restaurant War craze, the hiccups leading to her getting poofed more times than she wished to count. At least before she could force the brief changes with minimal effort. Now that effort took more out of her, taking away energy needed for other tasks.
Nowadays, she could barely keep focus during training without expecting a close-up with the ground.
Pearl did not react well once she realized the reason Amber kept shapeshifting in the middle of fights.
You shouldn't force your form like that! Your condition's precarious enough as it is!
Although Amber would have preferred the anger and disappointment over what Pearl told her later in the presence of the other Crystals, Connie and Steven included.
I talked with the others and we all agree it'd be best to work training more to your needs.
'In other words, more handicaps. Lovely,' Amber griped as she gingerly returned to her feet and continued towards the beach house, wary and disgruntled. Ugh, how much longer will she have to deal with this bodily indecisiveness?
"Yo, Mole Mom!"
Amber halted her trek towards the stairs and looked up at the familiar call, happy for the distraction, and posed her paw to wave.
Only to wish she hadn't, greeting grin drooping instantly.
Bear in mind, she didn't dislike Amethyst.
Not to say she was bosom buddies with the tiny Quartz either. Every time they were in the same room or area together, there had always been someone else there as a sort of mediator. The two Gems could still glean off general information about each other, whether from the others or from observation, but that was all.
Now marked the first time they were interacting one on one.
It's just...did Amethyst have to do this? And by 'this', Amber was referring to her purple lookalike strutting down the steps, flashing claws and all in jazz hands fashion once at the bottom.
"So whatcha think? Too quilly?" Amethyst gave herself a look over as though she were a fashion designer critiquing her own work, going so far as to pose like a supermodel. All the display received consisted of an unsettled stare and subsequent lack of eye contact. She didn't take long to notice. "What?"
Sucking in a breath through gritted teeth, Amber took one last look at Amethyst then hastily wrote something into the sand between them with her finger. Due to the positioning, Amethyst had to angle herself to get a good look at the sentence.
Could you please turn back?
Blink, blink. Amethyst scrunched her face at the other Gem, perplexed and a bit offended. "Why?"
Taking a deep breath, Amber tried again. You shapeshifting into me makes me uncomfortable.
"Ugh, fine," with a huff, the lavender snark reverted to her original form, "geez Sparkles, I just thought you needed some cheerin' up. Lighten up why don't"—BZZZKKTTT—"YEOW!"
Clutching her right hiney more from shock (pun intended) than pain, she shot a wide-eyed stare of disbelief at Amber, smirking as her right claw lost its glow from waning static discharge. The aureate Gem erased her previous message and wrote in a new one.
I never said get pouty on me.
Amethyst blew a bang out of her view, pretending to be annoyed at the comeback even though her own smirk ruined the effect. "Where is that every time ya come over?" She rolled her eyes at the molehog's puzzled face. "Yer always tryin' to pull a Lapis when nobody's talking to ya."
Okay maybe an exaggeration. That behavior started to lessen in frequency due to the efforts of Amethyst and Steven (and Connie when she could) to help her integrate back into the team. Still, Amethyst could count a good number of times the corrupted rock politely excused her way out of further socialization after a few measly minutes of hanging around the others.
To her credit, Amber made an excellent impression of a hooded lizard. I'm shy, okay?
"Ooooh of course," drawled the other lithomorph as she bowed at the waist like a posh servant, "my sincerest apologies, Madame. Shall we share my condolences over a cup of tea?"
Okay, the British accent killed the joke in Amber's opinion. Or Garnet accent? Garnet did come before Britain. Linguistic perspectives aside, now seemed like a good time to get an honest opinion now that the two Gems could talk one-on-one.
Amber kneeled down and, in a flurry of digits, the next of her words appeared. Amethyst craned her neck again to look.
What's your take on me?
The point-blankness of the question took the violet Gem by surprise. Her eyes ascended back to the serious-eyed molehog. "For reals?"
I'm curious.
Amethyst broke eye contact and scratched her right cheek in an absentminded manner, thinking for a moment. "Didn't think much of ya at first, I mean besides ya bein' corrupted and all and not bein' all crazy and wreckin' everything in sight. Between the Lil' Butler vibes and the shit-ton of books ya got on you, I figured you'd pretty much be like Pearl's long lost twin or something."
Amber stood there, blinking and blank-faced. Suddenly she pointed up.
Amethyst shook her head with a sly grin, not taking the bait. "Ah naw, I ain't fallin' for that old trick, Sparkles."
Then Amber pointed down.
"Or that."
For some reason, Amber pointed to the violet Quartz's feet this time.
Amethyst barely glanced down. "Yeah, my boots are on fleek as usual, what's your"—Wait, since when do her boots sparkle? Her eyes took a double take. "Wha...AHHHH!"
At Amber's sudden hand swipe upward, Amethyst literally found herself knocked off her feet, back-flipping in midair like someone in the cartoons getting a rug pulled out from under them. Seconds later she returned to Earth, face first right in the sand.
"PAH-TOOIE! Pleh-pleh," she wiped away the grains from her impressed grin as she lounged against the last step, "well played, Sunshine. Well played. Speakin' of playing, how's things with yours and Gregory's little experiment?"
I feel we may be making progress.
Amethyst quirked an eyebrow and snorted, amused. "You mean you and Greg jammin' together? I like your idea of progress."
Amber could only roll her eyes. Despite how our efforts look, there is a method to what we've been doing.
"Like doin' the bossa nova to Davey Yonder?"
Too bad the fur of Amber's corrupted form excluded her cheeks. Some cover for the golden blushing would have helped right now. We both really like that guy, okay? Besides, we're dealing with music.
How they could not end up getting distracted?
Amethyst shrugged her shoulders, seeing the other Gem's point. "Figured anything out?"
Besides reaffirmation that music could help fix corruption? No. Since we're on the subject, have you all worked out how to safely work in the other corrupted Gems as test subjects?
"Eh," Amethyst rubbed the back of her head, "Garnet says we gotta start small. That way we don't hafta worry about so much damage control. And Pearl says we better stick to the 'less rowdy' Gems while we're at it," she finger-quoted, blank face and all.
So basically make sure to avoid the Rebels.
Amethyst snickered at how that quip hit the nail on the head. "Yeah, pretty much!"
"GUUUYYYYYYYSSS!"
Welp that sounded like Steven. A rather urgent Steven, in fact. Amethyst called back in an assuring tone, not wanting the kid to pull a Pearl before she got there. "We're coming. We're coming."
At that moment, a ringing sound reverberated from Amber's backpack. After pulling out and activating her cellphone, she noticed a new message notification—only to rub her eyes once she read the sender's message.
Peridot5XG: Assistance! Assistance! When I tried to notify Steven of a new project of mine, the tablet warped my message into some nonsense about Earth produce and morphing mops! I believe there may be a saboteur interfering with the local communication network!
A poorly stifled chortle erupted from Amethyst, the chubby whip master clutching her sides. Sounds like someone found the Auto Correct. Amber facepalmed, trying hard not to sigh at the technical naiveté. Ugh, what was she gonna do with this kid?
Before walking off to deal with the impending silliness, she rotated this time then scratched into the sand so Amethyst could see better.
You go on ahead. I'll catch up.
Not like there'd be any surprises waiting for her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
'On second thought, never mind.'
Amber was currently having a benevolent yet curious stare-off with the bipedal insectoid currently seated on Steven's sofa. A Nephrite judging by the massive eye gemstone, though Amber could not quite remember for sure. It's been a while.
In any case, she had to resist the urge to swarm 'Centipeetle' (as Steven just introduced her) with questions.
"...and since you're also corrupted but have been getting along so well, I figured you could help me help Centi!"
Without looking Amber held up a finger as her way of saying 'One moment, Steven'. She needed a moment to assess the patient.
Not the physical aspects; those were obvious. Amber cared more for how Centipeetle's posture betrayed anxiety and confusion despite the poise, how those hands kept tightening in on themselves, and how that single eye bunched up at the yellow Gem as if she were something out of a nature documentary gone out there.
Which to be fair, she did look the part but that's beside the point.
She stuck a forepaw out. Centipeetle stared at it, not sure what this strange Gem-like being expected of her.
Sensing the lack of comprehension, Amber grabbed her own hand and shook it. Centipeetle blinked in realization, fascinated, and then tentatively took the molehog's hand, letting the other Gem lead the gesture. When Amber smiled, Centipeetle returned the mien, happy she got this ritual correct.
Speaking of correct, a bloom of pride blossomed in the electroball once she realized Garnet and Pearl and Amethyst's absence, the three Crystals waiting out on the front porch. That sort of considerate behavior just went to show their easy agreement to letting Steven heal this 'Centipeetle' character. Amber would rather not think of the alternatives for if they hadn't had an excuse to give Steven's corruption therapy a shot.
A soft yet audible finger-snap from Steven reminded them of his presence. "Oh, right! I guess 'Centi' isn't really your name," he fixed curious stare on the green being, "so what is your name?"
CLCK-CLCK! RAWWW!
Amber bit back a sigh. 'Yeah, we definitely have our work cut out for us.'
The following events did not prove her wrong.
Despite Steven's ingenuity to use crayons and paper to convey Centipeetle's words, the session went downhill horrendously fast. In the end after a heartbreaking breakdown and dismaying chase through the South American jungle, it was agreed upon that Centipeetle would remain with her teammates, recently discovered inside one of the abandoned Gem ships.
"Amber! We have to go!"
Thought and rumination cut through by Pearl's voice, Amber looked back at her old friends with reluctant regard. She did not wish to leave. At least not yet.
Even after the therapy went awry, the molehog felt they all owed Centipeetle something for unintentionally putting her through that anguish and frustration. A long serpentine form snaked beside the smaller corrupted Gem, drawing her attention to the now massive Centipeetle. The golden rock stared guilty into the oral eye that stared back.
I'm sorry you went through that. I should have anticipated—the feel of a bisected leg drawing her into her newfound friend's ivory mane cut off her writing. She returned the embrace.
Out of the corner her eye not smothered by Centipeetle's mane, she noticed one of the insectoid's legs scratch something into the dirt. It was scraggly but readable.
One day.
Those two words occupied her focus the entire way back to Beach City, none of the other CGs' attempts to talk to her enough to break her reverie. Just those words repeating, adding more to themselves each time.
One day you'll be yourself again.
One day you won't have to live with this brokenness.
One day you won't be reminded of your loss every time you see your reflection.
One day you won't need to live every waking moment seeing your biggest mistake given form.
One day...one day...
The feel of a stone-studded hand gently on her left shoulder cut off her thoughts, drawing her attention to a familiar pair of shades.
"You were hoping for a better outcome."
Out here seated at the beach house's front-side patio table, umbrella angled so she could feel the Sun's warmth, Amber regarded the maroon fusion with a half-hearted smile.
If it's any consolation, the same thing happened to me when I remembered how my corruption started. Took Rose and the tribe weeks to find me again.
Garnet's frown deepened even more, unsettled by the thought of her friend lost and alone, confused and scared. She took up the seat opposite the yellow Gem, crossing her arms and legs and leaning back in the chair with ace nonchalance.
They sat together in silence until a few minutes later when a familiar dainty hand deposited a pink mug of marshmallow-laden coffee in front of Amber...and a cane beside her?
Pearl hardly batted an eye at the molehog's questioning stare. "Amethyst suggested it during your and Steven's session with Centipeetle. She noticed how often your form would go unstable, so she handed over one of the canes from her room. Not to worry, it's in perfect condition!"
Her guest's suspiciously raised eyebrow and skeptical half-lidded look got Pearl eye-rolling quick.
"And of course, she wants an excuse to make cracks about you hobbling all over the place like someone's grandmother."
After eyeing the cane for a long moment, Amber flicked to a new page with such attitude she might as well have smacked her gums.
I'll bean her noggin in with it later.
Garnet made no effort to hide her chortles. Pearl shook her head with a likewise smirk, finger pointed up. "Not too hard, mind you. She might change her mind about bringing you along with her and Steven to wrestling tonight if you give her a reason to regenerate."
If Pearl had been of less poise, she would have giggled at Amber's curious wide-eyed stare. Instead she crossed over to Garnet's side and seated herself in the chair beside her teammate. "She and Steven are ardent fans of wrestling, participants even. When I told her about how your training sessions had been going, she got rather excited to say the least."
"Don't be surprised if she suggests you join in," Garnet added, "She tried with Pearl."
Pearl snorted at the thought and waved a hand in flattered dismissal. "Not that I wasn't flattered at the offer, but I prefer more along the lines of tachimawari, although I'd think twice about using an actual sword as part of a performance."
Amber struggled to smile at Pearl's quip. After a few futile seconds, she stared down her cup, remembering how she hadn't been far from the house when her leg acted up. Meaning Amethyst saw her fall flat on her face after all.
Lovely.
'No wonder she tried to cheer me up.'
The molehog barely got to grimace before Pearl spoke up again. "Speaking of performances, we've been meaning to talk to you about the way you've been handling your corruption lately. Amethyst meant it when she said that cane would help you."
"Your form's been losing stability lately," Garnet finally leveled her gaze at Amber, "ever since you helped Ronaldo in fact."
The minute flinch of Amber's snout gave Pearl enough to puzzle the answer out on her own. "And you've realized this, too, haven't you?" She leaned forward ever so slightly. "What on Earth did you show him?"
He felt like no one cared about him, so I disproved him by showing what happened after I lost my sisters.
Garnet jerked her head up, her three eyes tense.
Pearl gasped, hand to her mouth. "You...you mean...?"
Amber shook her head. After that. How I could barely function, let alone focus on missions without the environment triggering me.
Pearl blushed in bright cyan and twiddled her thumbs, remembering the sloppy way she approached the younger Gem during that time. "Still," she tapped her chin in thought, "that's not a severe memory. Peridot's take on it, as far she told us, was thoughtful and I can only surmise Ronaldo was the same, right?"
At Amber's nod, Pearl hummed to herself. "I still think something that day links to your problems now. If it's not the memory causing you trouble—"
"Then chances are the problem isn't external but internal. Something the memory reminded you of. That means that the solution," the way Garnet's glasses shimmered did not sit well with Amber, "lies in you."
Pearl sighed, hardly sounding surprised at all yet no less troubled. Amber swore the leaner Gem uttered something along the lines of 'I was afraid that'd be the case...'
"Amber," Garnet leaned forward as her arms supported her upper body against the table. She tightened her hands as though bracing herself. "We know you're trying to hold back your original form."
At this point in time, the little cheeseball realized her current situation and remained calm. Yes, being found out alarmed her but if there was one lesson being in the War taught her, it was this: never panic. Letting the situation get to you never worked out unless you intended to die faster.
Keeping that advice in mind, Amber silently assessed her options, sipping at her coffee to buy more time to think.
One, she could feign ignorance (a futile effort); two, she could fend Garnet and Pearl off with biting remarks (she had neither the will nor personality to do that); and three, just coming clean (simple and honorable).
Except that last option had one drawback.
Amber shuffled her feet out of anxiety, claw tapping against the cup once she'd drained the sweet fluid. Pearl's tired sigh sliced through the silence.
"Amber, I don't understand. You remember what Steven told you! You don't have to worry about losing everyone once you're healed. We'll all still be here."
The molehog managed a small brief smile. She felt nothing short of gratitude for that sort of loyalty. And yet...
If I get better, I go back to being a Gem. Being a Gem means I can't avoid tying my legacy back to Homeworld. I don't want to remember what I did before I joined.
Pearl and Garnet shared a concerned gaze, finally understanding what their friend chose not to tell Steven.
"Amber," Pearl began in a measured tone, "you cut off your ties to Homeworld the moment you and your sisters defected to Rose's side, and whatever you've been doing all these years, surely some of it included helping humans along the way. Otherwise you wouldn't be with Marcus' family right now."
But is that enough?
"It doesn't have to be." Garnet arose from her chair tall and away from the umbrella, striking a strong figure in the sunlight. "You have every right to feel ashamed of the injustices Gems have wrought on themselves and others."
She walked around the table until she stood beside Amber, the molehog craning her neck to keep eye-level, and then lowered herself to one knee with one arm draped over it. "But the actions of those Gems are not yours. They reflect on you, but they do not define you."
Amber's dark eyes crinkled, the doubt in them not conceding. The voice at the back of her mind that sounded too much like Rose did not help either.
If you want a road to freedom, you have to carve it first.
"At least that's how I believe Rose said it." It took the golden Gem an instant to realize Pearl had been speaking her exact same thoughts. "And no, you weren't being obvious about your thoughts. There're just parts of you I still know well."
Okay, Amber tried real hard not to blush at that last bit. She honestly couldn't discern from Pearl's calmer-than-ice smile whether the taller stone knew damn well how else that statement could be taken.
"All joking aside, regardless of your reasons, we can't let you keep endangering yourself. And if we can't convince you to stop"—Amber's sharp warning glare did not faze her at all; if anything it spurred a stern glare in return—"yes, we will resort to telling the Flores if necessary."
Amber could only look away with a snort, thankful she possessed the willpower to not pout like a petulant child. 'Good to know you and Garnet still have no qualms about playing dirty, Pearl.'
Though at least she could say they were doing so because they cared. That's more than anyone could say for the Diamonds.
When Pearl spoke again, Amber noted how her voice softened as though in guilt. "If you think we don't get your feelings about what our kind's done to other people, then you need to know this: we cut ourselves off from humans partly so we wouldn't have to worry about playing around with their lives."
When Amber and Garnet turned to look at her, Pearl directed her gaze to the dimming afternoon sky. "I often made a show of exalting Gem culture in the past, but part of that came from the guilt of knowing that our efforts here didn't stop others from suffering at Homeworld's hand elsewhere. No one deserves that burden."
A bitter huff escaped her, conflicting with her halfhearted smile.
"I suppose the reason we can't stand what you've been doing is because we're worried you blame us, too. Sometimes I wonder if we deserve it. You and so many other Gems went through so much because of us, lost so much because of the Rebellion. I know an apology isn't enough to make up for what happened, but..."
Pearl could not bring herself to finish. Even millennia later, the losses felt fresh.
A long stretch of quiet passed between the three of them, the air left ponderous...until a tap-tap-tap sounded against the tabletop. When Pearl returned her attention to the others, she noticed two new details: the note beside the umbrella and Garnet's small yet tender smile.
Dragging the note closer with one finger, she examined the contents. Her eyes started to water about halfway through.
If there's one thing I'm glad Homeworld did, it was giving me a reason to join you. For all the trouble I went through to help protect this world, for all the scars the war left me, I could never forfeit the memories of my friends. Even in corruption.
Oh. Oh. Pearl needed a moment to wipe away the rampant tears, her chuckles warbled by the wave of emotions threatening to flood out of her.
"Hmm-hm. You really are too sweet sometimes."
Despite herself, Amber managed a tired but genuine smile. Then she suddenly turned her head after sensing two presences dart from the bottom-right corner of the nearest window. She rolled her eyes and hopped off, collecting her backpack, before warping to the front door and wrenching it open to reveal a wide-eyed Steven and Amethyst on the couch.
The violet whip-slinger was lounging with a magazine in hand and trying far too conspicuously to hide her face with it. Meanwhile Steven was sitting ramrod straight with the worst poker face Amber had ever seen; the nervous facial sweat didn't do the kid any favors either.
When he noticed the unimpressed pair of eyes on him, he attempted a smile that came out more like the face of someone about to but not wanting to explode. "Um..."
Garnet appeared in the doorway behind Amber next and shook her head with a knowing smirk at her younger teammates' antics. "Best you go with them now."
No need to tell Amber twice. The molehog gestured two fingers in a way full of 'come on, you goofballs', and the two sheepish Quartzes complied easily.
Once Amber assumed her guise as Sparky and the trio disappeared around the cliff bend, waving the others goodbye, Pearl joined Garnet at the door. The feeble smile she'd been holding during the departure loosened into a countenance of worry as she turned back to Garnet.
"Do you think that talk was enough?"
The Crystal Gem leader let her lips downturn. "No. But it's a step in the right direction."